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Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
A woman walks into a pharmacy and up to the prescription 'order here' counter..."I need some cyanide or some chemical like it to kill my husband," she says.
"Ma'am, you can't just walk in here and order chemicals like that and it's against the law to kill your husband'" answers the pharmacist. She rustles around in her purse and produces an envelope and pulls out something and hands it to the pharmacist. It's a photo of her husband having sex with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacist remarks,"Oh, I didn't realize you had a prescription!" |
Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
Programmer or Serial Killer? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif
See if you can pick out the killers!!! http://www.malevole.com/mv/misc/killerquiz/ |
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1) x div 10000 2) (1) * 80 = (x div 10000)*80 3) (2) + 1 = ((x div 10000)*80) + 1 4) (3) * 250 = (((x div 10000)*80) + 1) * 250 = 250*((x div 10000)*80) + 250 = 250*80*(x div 10000) + 250 = 20000*(x div 10000) + 250 5) (4) + x mod 10000 = 20000*(x div 10000) + 250 + (x mod 10000) 6) (5) + x mod 10000 = 20000*(x div 10000) + 250 + 2*(x mod 10000) = 2*10000*(x div 10000) + 2*(x mod 10000) + 250 = 2*10000*(x/10000) + 250 = 2*x + 250 7) (6) - 250 = 2*x + 250 - 250 = 2*x 8) (7) / 2 = 2*x/2 = x It doesn't matter what number you start with.... </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">Here's an explanation of how this works for those of us less mathematically inclined then Jack Simth: http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif The idea is to take the first three digits of the phone number and add four zeros after it. You do this by multiplying by ten thousand. Then add the Last four digits to that and the result is your phone number. However doing these two simple steps would be easily recognizable and not illicate the proper "Spooky!" reaction, so the rest of the instuctions are combinations of steps that cancel each other out and so have no net effect. Steps 2, 4, and 8 multiply the first three digits given in step 1 by 80, then by 250, and then divide by 2. This extra complication serves only to confuse and can be simplified down to multiplication by 10,000. (80 x 250 = 20,000, 20,000/2 = 10,000) Step 3, adding 1, is usless complication meant only to confuse, and is canceled out by step 7, subtracting 250. You have to subtract 250 because in between you multipled by 250 in step 4. Steps 5 has to be duplicated with step 6 because you are dividing by 2 in step 8. Pretty neat, but very simple when you see what's happening. It the mathematical equivalent of a magician distracting you with irrelevant movements of his right hand while he pulls a card out of his left pocket. [ October 20, 2003, 17:25: Message edited by: geoschmo ] |
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One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"
"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg." In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones. "Jesus!", Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin. "Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones. "God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin. "Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones again winked off. However, this time the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again. The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?" Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your butt!" "Amen," replied the congregation. |
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Something like this actually happened to my mom once... (She was the little girl http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif )
Little girl: Sister, what's the difference between Christians and Jews? Nun: Well, for one thing, Christians believe that Jesus is God, but Jews don't. Little girl: Really? (thinks) That's an awful strange thing to base a religion on, isn't it? I mean, what do they do at their churches, go around singing songs like "Jesus Ain't God And This I Know, 'Cause The Talmud Don't Say So"? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif |
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SE4 Daffynitions
Drushocka - A particularly outrageous episode of "The Drew Carey Show", such as the one where Drew and Mimi get married Eee - What you say upon seeing a Drushocka Phong - The only alien in SE4 named for the way the light reflects off his head Applied Research - The technology that you research with the points produced by the facility that requires the technology that you research with the... Starfury - An actor scorned Terran - What ripper beams are doing to ships' hulls Xiati - Gesundheit! Ringworld - The bonus stage in a Sonic the Hedgehog game Depleted Uranium Cannon - Not as healthy as a Vitamins A & D Fortified Uranium Cannon |
Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
One Sunday, a priest, knowing that God would see him were he out on the golf course, stayed home instead and played Tiger Woods Pro Golf 2004 on his PC. But since God is omnipresent, God saw him anyway and came to him and said, "Father! What are you doing playing golf on a Sunday? You know I could send you to Hell for that!" The priest stammered, "Golf? This isn't really golf... it's only a computer game!"
God's reply? "All right then, I'll send you to VIRTUAL hell - from now on, you can only play Everquest!" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif |
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ran into this on a bumper sticker: 'i've got a perfect body, but it's in the trunk and starting to smell.'
[ October 29, 2003, 03:15: Message edited by: narf poit chez BOOM ] |
Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
A husband and wife are in their bedroom. The man is in bed, reading a sports magazine, the wife is standing naked in front of the mirror looking at herself.
She says, "Darling, I really am feeling down, my fair is going gray and is a mess, I have laughter lines and crows feet, I have a double chin, my breasts are sagging, I am fat and the cellutlite on my thighs is like sandpaper, my backside is growing to be like two sides of beefs and my legs are full of varicose veins and are horrible, please say something nice to me, I need cheering up". The man looks up from his paper and says "love, your eyesight is 20/20" |
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*** You just can't win, and here are the reasons why: ***
If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you're a male chauvinist. If you stay home and do the housework, you're a pansy. If you work too hard, there is never any time for her. If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum. If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your butt and find something better. If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism. If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity. If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment. If you keep quiet, it's male indifference. If you cry, you're a wimp. If you don't, you're insensitive. If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman. If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination. If she asks you, it's a favor. If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you're a sexist. If you don't, you're unromantic. If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain. If you don't, you're a slob. If you buy her flowers, you're after something. If you don't, you're not thoughtful. If you're proud of your achievements, you're up on yourself. If you don't, you're not ambitious. http://dynamic3.gamespy.com/~tropico...ents/kitty.JPG [ October 31, 2003, 19:44: Message edited by: Wardad ] |
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What do you call Rossanne Barr with a yeast infection?
A DOUBLE WHOPPER WITH CHEESE!!!! LMAO! |
Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
Two guys were sitting at a bar on the 40th floor of a skyscraper and were totally pLastered.
The first guy said, ''Hey, I'll bet you a million bucks that I can jump out of this window, fly around the building, and land right here next to you!'' Being so totally wasted, plus hearing a completely impossible bet, the 2nd guy replied, ''YOU'RE ON!'' So the first guy jumped out of the window, flew around the building, and came right back to the same spot. ''WOW,'' screamed the 2nd guy, ''That was incredible. Do it again!'' So the first guy jumped out of the window, flew around the building, and landed right next to his friend. ''That is remarkable. Do it one more time!" ''Ok,'' said the first guy, ''But if I do it again, when I come back you have to do it." The second man agreed, and with that, once again, the first jumped out, flew around, and came back. ''Your turn,'' he said. So the 2nd guy stepped up to the window. ''This is easy. He did it, so can I!" The much pumped second man, took a deep breath, and heaved his body out the window. He fell straight to the ground and died instantly upon impact. Calmly the first man walked back to the bar and ordered another beer. The bartender remarked, ''You sure are mean when you're drunk, Superman!''' |
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You Might Be a Redneck Jedi If...
Your Jedi robe is a camouflage color. You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill. You can't describe the taste of an Ewok without using the word chicken. You have a singing fishing hanging from the rear view mirror of your X-Wing. You have ever used The Force in conjunction with fishing or bowling. You can levitate yourself using a force from within, but not THE force. You think the symbol for the Rebel Alliance should be the Confederate flag. You have neon lights under your landspeeder. You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks. You consider your light saber as the ultimate bug zapper. Your Jedi mentor ever said "Hey, pull my finger..." Your X-wing is up on blocks in your front yard. A Wookie has told you that you need to shave. The worst part of spending time on Dagoba is the dadgum skeeters. Sandpeople back down from your mama. You pick your teeth with the light saber. You wonder why Luke and Leia never got married. Wookies are offended by your B.O. You have ever used The Force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial. Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over t' the dark side... it'll be a hoot." |
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Not what you'd call photo journalism at its best. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif
http://www.bbc.co.uk/oxford/news/200...ctricity.shtml But, the picture does tell the story. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif |
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where do you think the corpse came from? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif
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A pair of great NASA jokes:
http://science.slashdot.org/comments...44&cid=7417151 |
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YOU KNOW YOU'RE TRAILER TRASH WHEN...
1. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse. 2. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids. 3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws. 4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night. 5. Jack Daniels makes your list of "most admired people." 6. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean. 7. Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey y'all! Watch this!" 8. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader. 9. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan. 10. Your junior prom had a daycare. 11. You think the Last words of the Star Spangled Banner are, "Gentlemen start your engines." 12. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels. 13. The bluebook value of your truck goes up/down, depending on how much gas is in it. 14. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge. 15. One of your kids was born on a pool table. 16. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos. 17. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it. 18. You think loading a dishwasher means getting your wife drunk. 19. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it. 20. Somebody hollers "Hoe Down" and your girlfriend hits the floor. |
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A man walked into the local welfare office, marched straight up to the counter and said,
"Hi, I hate drawing welfare. I would really rather find a job." The man behind the counter replied, "Your timing is amazing. We just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around in a big black Mercedes. The suits, shirts, and ties are provided. Because of the long hours of this job, meals will be provided and you will also be required to escort the young lady on her overseas holidays trips. The salary package is $200,000 a year!" The man said, "You're bullsh....g me man!" The man behind the counter said, "Yeah, well, you started it." |
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Are you the weakest link? Below are four (4) questions. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK? Let's find out just how clever you really are.
Ready? GO!!! (scroll down) First Question: You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in? Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second! Try not to screw up in the next question. To answer the second question, don't take as much time as you took for the first question. Second Question: If you overtake the Last person, then you are...? Answer: If you answered that you are second to Last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST person?! You're not very good at this are you? Third Question: Very tricky math! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it. Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000.. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total? Scroll down for answer.. Did you get 5000? The correct answer is actually 4100. Don't believe it? Check with your calculator! Today is definitely not your day. Maybe you will get the Last question right? Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter? Answer: Nunu? NO! Of course not. Her name is Mary. Read the question again KEEP THIS GOING TO FRUSTRATE THE "SMART PEOPLE" IN YOUR LIFE! |
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An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says,
"I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing, forty-five years of misery is enough." "Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams. "We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her," and he hangs up. Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this." She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up. The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "They're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own fares Now what do we tell them for Christmas? |
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It's been said that...
The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Coca-Cola was originally green. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It is impossible to lick your elbow. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The State with the highest % of people who walk to work: Alaska ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this...) The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38% ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 &lived in China in 1910. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The youngest pope was 11 years old. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Each king in a deck of cards represents a great king from history: Spades- King David, Hearts- Charlemagne, Clubs-Alexander, the Great Diamonds- Julius Caesar ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 111,111,111 x111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the Last signature wasn't added until 5 years later. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "I am" is the shortest complete sentence in the English language. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hershey's Kisses are called that because the machine that makes them looks like it's kissing the conveyor belt. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q. What occurs more often in December than any other month? A. Conception. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what? A. Their birthplace ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested? A. Obsession ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"? A. One thousand ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers dishwashers, and laser printers all have in common? A. All invented by women. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil? A. Honey ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q. There are more collect calls on this day than any other day of the year? A. Father's Day ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q. What trivia fact about Mel Blanc (voice of Bugs Bunny) is the most ironic? A. He was allergic to carrots. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q. What is an activity performed by 40% of all people at a party? A. Snoop in your medicine cabinet. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase "goodnight, sleep tight," ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their Calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month we know today as the honeymoon. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts. So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them mind their own pints and quarts and settle down. It's where we get the "mind your P's and Q's." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim or handle of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~ In Scotland, a new game was invented. It was entitled Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden.... and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language. ~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~ At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow |
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i thought you needed an adjective or something else. oh well. i never really cared about the 'rules' of english.
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How about:
NO! Does that count? |
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A sentence must have a verb and a noun. Everything else is not strictly necessary, but those 2 are.
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ah, but 'NO!' does have a noun. a borrowed one from the previous sentence, but still a noun.
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No it does not. A proper sentence must stand on its own as a sentence, not be dependant on other sentences.
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since understanding of a sentence generally rests on the sentences surrounding it, most sentences are depedent on other sentences for there meaning, which is an integral part of what a sentence is. and a dependent sentence is no less a sentence.
your slipping, Fyron. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif |
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The shortest sentance I know is in latin and is "I".
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Taken from the MIT Course Evaluation Guide, Fall, 1991
The Best and Worst Comments Received ==================================== "This class was a religious experience for me... I had to take it all on faith." "Text makes a satisfying `thud' when dropped on the floor." "The class is worthwhile because I need it for the degree." "His blackboard technique puts Rembrandt to shame." "Textbook is confusing... Someone with a knowledge of English should proofread it." "Have you ever fell asleep in class and awoke in another? That's the way I felt all term." "In class I learn I can fudge answers and get away with it." "Keep lecturer or tenure board will be shot." "The recitation instructor would make a good parking lot attendant. Tries to tell you where to go, but you can never understand him." "Text is useless. I use it to kill roaches in my room." "In class the syllabus is more important than you are." "I am convinced that you can learn by osmosis by just sitting in his class." "Help! I've fallen asleep and I can't wake up!" "Problem sets are a decoy to lure you away from potential exam material." "Recitation was great. It was so confusing that I forgot who I was, where I was, and what I was doing -- it's a great stress reliever." "He is one of the best teachers I have had... He is well-organized, presents good lectures, and creates interest in the subject. I hope my comments don't hurt his chances of getting tenure." "I would sit in class and stare out the window at the squirrels. They've got a cool nest in the tree." "He teaches like Speedy Gonzalez on a caffeine high." "This course kept me out of trouble from 2-4:30 on Tuesdays and Thursdays." "Most of us spent the 1st 3 weeks terrified of the class. Then solidarity kicked in." "Bogus number crunching. My HP is exhausted." "The absolute value of the TA was less than epsilon." "TA steadily improved throughout the course... I think he started drinking and it really loosened him up." "Information was presented like a ruptured fire hose -- spraying in all directions -- no way to stop it." "I never bought the text. My $60 was better spent on the Led Zeppelin tapes that I used more while doing the problem sets that I would have used the text." "What's the quality of the text? `Text is printed on high quality paper.'" |
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ah. but my contention about most sentences relying a great deal on the sentences around them for their meaning?
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"I" means "GO!" and therefore is a complete sentance. Anyone can understand it without a sentance before or after it. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif
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it doesn't have a noun.
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COWBOY BOOTS
Did you hear about the Texas teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots? He asked for help and she could see why. Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on. Finally, when the second boot was on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost cried when the little boy said, "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet." She looked and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on - this time on the right feet. He then announced, "These aren't my boots." She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, "Why didn't you say so?" like she wanted to. And, once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet. No sooner they got the boots off and he said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear 'em." Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry. But, she mustered up the grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again. Helping him into his coat, she asked, "Now, where are your mittens?" He said, "I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots." Her trial starts next month. |
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The sentence is a command so it doesn't need a noun. When you say, "go over there", the subject "you" is implied.
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and still requires the sentences around it to give it meaning and defintion; unspoken if not spoken sentences. simply saying 'GO!' transmits no real information.
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Of course it does. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif It is very clear what you should do, isn't it? In this perspective, "I am" isn't any better: "I am" what? A human? An animal? Upset? Fed up?
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hmmm, If a sentance needs both a verb and a noun to qualify then it stands to reason the the shortest sentance would have to be two words.
IE: "Speak friend." "Enter please." "Logically speaking." etc, etc, etc... But many words are used alone and are perfectally acceptable as complete sentances.. "Stop!", "Enter.", "Hello.", "Goodbye." etc,.. Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif |
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"Run!" commanded the English professor turned bomb squad member as the timer clicked down toward zero.
"It was too a syntactically correct sentence." he replied as the bomb exploded. Oh, the dangers of using the English language correctly. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif |
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'DUCK!' does indeed rely on context. it means on thing on a duck hunt and quite another pretty much anywhere else, unless not spoken with alarm, in which case, it's meaning is partly that of it's meaning on a duck hunt, without the intent to shoot the duck.
'STOP!', while tending to indicate a clear desire to desist, depends on it's context to determine what is to be stopped. 'enter.' can mean to enter a dwelling, input something on a computer, or a key normally used in the process of doing so. 'hello.' tends to be a greeting, but is dependent on context to determine who it is being spoken to and some other facter's, such as tone of voice, determine how warm a greeting it is, what type of greeting it is and wether the person would like to stay and talk. 'goodbye.' tends to be a farewell, but is dependent on context and tone of voice to determine how long the farewell is to Last, wether it is permanent or not and wether there are warm feelings or not. my theory still holds. |
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Dispute elsewhere.
Bring the funny here. |
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funny? BUNNY!
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Dan Quayle, Newt Gingrich and Bill Clinton are traveling in a car together in the Midwest.
A tornado comes along and whirls them up into the air and tosses them thousands of yards away. When they come down and extract themselves from the vehicle, they realize they're in the land of Oz. They decide to go to see the Wizard of Oz. Quayle says, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a brain." Gingrich says, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a heart." Clinton says, "Where's Dorothy?" |
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