Re: Ye Olde Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Dude, that was very funny. I am so glad that the guy with the Dog puppet does not post here. How would he make fun of us?

God you have just got to love Connan!

[ June 14, 2002, 05:22: Message edited by: Atrocities ]

Re: Ye Olde Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina
 

Saxon has a quick peek into the bar and motions for one of the Fluffie Bunnie Waitresses to come over. After admiring her new bullet proof vest and combat helmet, he whispers in her ear. She smiles, happy to have a chance to assist in bringing one of the more unruly patrons to book. Saxon hands her a package and then walks off.

Some time later, Tigga bounces down from the ceiling, pausing only to spray the nearest barstool with urine. He shouts for some beverages and the Fluffie Bunnie Waitress promptly arrives with his drink.

Gryphin, sitting comfortably in the corner, notes something odd happen. He sees the FBW smile at Tigga, an unusual event, as usually only the Living Dead smile at Tigga. The FBW then begins to stroke Tigga under the chin and compliment his fur. A strange purring noise fills the room, usually only heard following an injury to Dogscoff. Tigga reclines on the chair and enjoys having his fur rubbed and caressed by the FBW. He is so content that he fails to notice that the FBW is rubbing black dye into his fur, turning him from an orange and black tiger to a pure black Jaguar. Gryphin wisely stays quiet.

Some time later, Tigga leaps back to the rafters, landing somewhat unsteadily. He totters over to his full length mirror to admire himself, as he is prone to do, and discovers that he is no longer a Tigga, but is now a Jaguar. He immediately falls into a crisis of self identity and his head begins to hurt. Is he truly a Tigga? Or is he really just an ad for an English motorcar? The pain begins to grow and grow and a swelling begins in his head. Soon afterwards Gryphin hears a popping noise and sees a number of pieces of wrinkled grey organic matter fall from the ceiling. It lands on Mac’s pizza, but Mac does not notice and continues eating. Gryphin, realizing that an identity crisis has made Tigga’s head explode, considers telling Mac. Once again, Gryphin stays quiet.

Saxon returns to the Cantina after work. He is carrying his own food and drink, as well as a large tip for the FBW.

Re: Ye Olde Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina
 

AWOOGA COOLCAT ALERT
AWOOGA COOLCAT ALERT

Tigga strolls into the bar after a pleasant perambulation around the shopping districts of Tokyo.

Gryphin is sitting in the corner as usual, but is now drooling over some poor young lady who smells of apples.. "hmmm" thinks Tigga, "I wonder if anyone has told her about appropriate tactics for defending caravanserai and that strange posture old shorteyes takes up?"

Mac is still scoffing pizza and looking like a tramp, Taz is getting jiggy with the pinball machine, Dogscoff is knitting, Chardo Mon is developing civilised habits and is practising his football chants and Saxon is trying to give a rabbit a big tip....

Tigga strolls over to Saxon and explains quietly to him that he cannot ever mess with the Growltigga as being a european tiger, said GT has far more style, elan, panache, elegance, self confidence, savoir faire, good looks, dynamism, coolness and just plain tiggerness than anyone else. GT then empties the contents of his rucksack on Saxon's table - watching Saxon being buried under miscellaneuos weaponry, Tigga further explains that the Cantina is now going to be a quiet place as the Tigga believes in peace through superior firepower

Saxon starts blubbing like a girl and leaves Cantina crying his eyes out

Tigga sits down, orders a coffee and turns the TV on to watch the Japan/Tunisia game.

At half time (with Japan leading 2 nil), Tigga pops outside the Cantina, jumps into his XKR Jaguar sportster, chases after Saxon and runs him over..... twice

"hmmm" think the great Kat, "that will teach the hairy spindle-shanked moosekissing oats-starved misanthropomorphic Canadian lager-pansy"

PS ENGGAAALLLAAAANNNNDDD ENGAAAALLAAANNNNDDD ENGAALLAANNND

[ June 14, 2002, 10:43: Message edited by: Growltigga ]

Re: Ye Olde Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina
 

Gosh, no Posts on this thread since this afternoon. Where has everybody gone? dont tell me the smell of Dogscoff in the corner has scared everyone off? or has Gryphin been talking about line-dancing again? dont tell me Mephisto has been playing air guitar to Scorpion songs again!

Re: Ye Olde Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina
 

*Click click click click...

Dogscoff broke his concetration temporarily to scan the bar, then quickly returned to his knitting.

"Fools", he thought. "Little do they know that by Monday I will have a fully operational argyle flamethrower."

He fought hard to restrain an evil laughas he resumed his dastardly work.

*click click click click....

[ June 14, 2002, 16:14: Message edited by: dogscoff ]

Re: Ye Olde Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina
 

Growltigga utters a silent curse... "damn", despite those plucky Poles giving those wretched Americans a 3-1 thrashing, the bloody Yanks are through to the second round at Portugal's expense"

Growltigga ponders on the infinite and the openness of this World Cup

Growltigga leans on the bar, surveys the clientele and orders a diet dandelion and burdock "hmmmm.. why is Dogscoff knitting some bagpipes?" ponders the Great Kat, "hmmmm... why is Mephisto pretending to be a teutonic guitar hero?, why is Saxon doing a good impression of roadkill? and where is everyone else?

PS ENGGAAALLAANNNDD ENGAALLAANNDD ENGALLAAANNNDDD

Re: Ye Olde Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina
 

:: Meets the shipper at the loading dock, Gives the man a big tip and sends him on his way, Moving with practiced smoothness Puts together
3 barrel
Hyper Velocity Ping Pong Ball Gattling Gun
120 Ping Pong balls per second
10,000 Ball Cartridge
Rapid reload
Fully Gryphin Portable on all terrain treads
Designed for use in Cantinas
DNA tracing scope
100 percent accuracy
Guaranteed to piss off any tigga
Placing the carefully saved tigga hair in the targeting system
Guiding the system into the bar room from out back
Auto matic switch on
As it enters the room activation takes place
Hundreds of high velocity ping pong balls hurl at the tigga
Gryphin rolls to the floor in pain from the laughter

Re: Ye Olde Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina
 

Hundreds of PPBs hit GT in the face blinding him, throwing him into disorder,
Befor he can recover the gun moves down his chest , below his navel button, the velocity increases, tiggas howles of pain activate the Ultra High pressure valve and the PPB fires even faster.

Re: Ye Olde Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina
 

Reloading, This time as each ball leaves the barrel it is sprayed with Fast Acting Tigga Fur Stickum Glue. Such a site, Tigga howling in pain, Covered in PPBs.

Re: Ye Olde Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">No, today I was just playing with the ambulance horn. Boy, what a day! What a traffic mess (didn't get better after blowing right through them http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif )!
Mac, ever putting again something on MY tap without asking... FACE THE CONSEQUENCES (I have my connections to down below, you know)! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif
Gryphin, keep your hormones under control!
Tigga, that was a nice and PEACEFUL place. I prefer it this way. See above (Mac) for the consequences. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

*Mephisto leaves and raises the temperature on certain places for the guest he is sure to welcome very soon.*