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Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
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Goes away quickly, hoping there won't be any unfortunate side effect with the riders Now why do I have the feeling I am going to regret this, very soon... |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
"I see the natives here have itchy trigger fingers. Don't get too far ahead of yourself, Alneyan. I'm not The Boss, just his contract employee. It's not yet a hostile takeover bid - Rudy still has some time left to come and negotiate. And I'd tread a little more lightly around AZ and his friends - I know I am."
Woundwort is busy cleaning and loading Tommy-gun shaped blaster rifles while saying this. He pauses and taps on his wrist computer. "Sancho! Have you got the mattresses laid out yet?" |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
"You mean this isn't the place where the ruthless got promoted, where intrigue is the fastest way to get anything done, where even a mundane request requires cunning, and where plots between the employees are a dime the dozen? Do you now actually need to *work* to become boss? Or even work honestly? Now that would be quite the surprise, really, quite the surprise.
'sides, you sure are a talented boss, and you would've been promoted anywhere else. Might makes right, and remind yourself of what happened to Dogscoff. Another competent employee, even an associate of The Boss... and you know what happened to him. Not a pleasant fate that and... Erh, by the way, what did you mean by being more careful? Doesn't the place look after the patrons? Isn't the Security Hit-squad here to quell any hint of trouble? Ah. I see. Now if you will excuse me..." |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
"Hey, Rudy is a newcomer, I thought I would cut him a break before cutting more... vital areas. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif "
"And didn't you notice the 'All Patrons Enter At Their Own Risk' sign by the door?" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
"I wasn't speaking of Rudy (may the powers that be protect him, he will need all the help he can get), but of your own boss. Truly, you should make a nicer spot under the sun for yourself, but who am I to say eh?" *Grumbles* A shame, it looks like there won't be any major succession crisis in the place... not yet anyway. It would have been so fun, oh yes... We should have liked that.
*Clears his throat* Hmm, where were we? Oh, that sign at the door. I didn't actually enter the Cantina see, but I was more like dragged in here, after having been knocned out. At one moment I was sipping the One True drink, and the second later, here I was in the Cantina, still feeling groggy and all. So you see, I did not enter the Cantina, and so the sign does not apply to me. Really! Goes away from the bar, painfully aware of the weakness of that last argument, and goes at the other end of the room, farthest away from the riders and the angel. Now let's see if I can become invisible by sheer force of will... |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
The conversation between Agent Zero and the Four Horseriders of the Apocalypse seems to have ended. For a long moment, there is silence, then, inexplicably, the five begin playing Paper, Rock, Scissors. One by one, the Riders are eliminated, until only Zero remains. He leaps to his feet, one hand raised in triumph.
"Wooo! I win! Um... What do I win?" "Leadership, and therefore control of the forces that we Riders wield." War informs him. "Coool! Death! Go poke Renegade!" "I'm afraid it doesn't work like that." "Awwww...." The Angel of Death leans forward ominously."As he who controls the forces of Armageddon you must seperate the worthy from the unworthy, decide who will perish and who will survive the coming inferno." Agent Zero looks suitably shocked."Out of the whole forum? Did you guys lose on purpose?" Famine ignores the second question."No," he says in a voice like dry, crackling leaves."You must simply decide between the two cantinas. One will survive, and the other will be annhilated in a holocaust of divine & demonic energy that quite frankly, will look really cool." Agent Zero's shoulders sag."Seems like an awful lot of responsibility to dump on a guy for winning a Rock Paper Scissors game." |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
The courier drone, lately seen at the Won Ton Take-out Hut, returns to the bar at the FCB&G, and spits out a printout. Woundwort tears it from the droid's "mouth", reads it, and scowls.
"Well, Mr. Huxtable has returned to his 'establishment', and promptly ignored both our messages." "I can only say I tried to be reasonable." "SANCHO!!!!" Sancho trots out of the kitchen, where he has been quite busy making mounds of Italian food to keep the "hired help" satisfied. "Yessir?" "Spread the word. The balloon's goin' up. This is now officially an all-out turf war." Sancho hesitates. "Your audio receptors not working? Send out the mobilization codes! NOW!" "Yessir!" Sancho puts an old-fashioned whistle to his mouth and blows a three-note pattern. From every corner and booth, pinstripe-suited thugs appear from nowhere, armed for bear. From the storage area of the Grill, a phalanx of Pinwheel combat droids (bought on remainder from Lucasfilm, and heavily refurbished) roll up and flex their weapon pods. "RD, quit poking holes in the ceiling with your slugthrower, and suit up. We're going to war!" |
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Renegade materializes from hiding, skirting around the 4 horsemen, and joins the growing mob.
"Argh Matey! 'Tis time for for some lootin' an' plunderin' and killin' on the high forum seas! Arrrr..." [i]With that, Renegade grabs his Horrible Emasculator of Doom, along with a cheap rip-off of the Red Hot Poker Cannon, and borrows Primitive's unused Rusty (yet Pointy) Spear©® (thanks Primitive!) and hopes that he won't have to use these on any of the patrons of the new upstart place.... |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
Woundwort watches the Trojan Horse robot in the Won Ton lobby fulfill its explosive duty, with a smug smile of satisfaction on his face.
"Gosh, they're making this almost too easy." "Renegade, I'm going to send the combat bots over next. Care to join them? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...es/biggrin.gif " |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
March with them? No no no. Far too foolish to march. However, I will join them in their assault...though mine may be more subtle than a marching platoon of bots. That is, if my scholastic duties do not force me to zip away from here for indeterminate amounts of time. But rest assured! I will come, sooner or later, to affirm the rights of Growltigga to be sole proprietor of any place of rest and leisure (and scantily clad waitresses) in the SEIV universe!
Actually now that I think about it, how subtle can a Red Hot Poker Cannon be?? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...ies/tongue.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...ies/tongue.gif |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
RD returns from the back room carrying two Slug throwers in a holster and a large steak. He walks over to a small trapdoor below a shadowy cobwebbed table and throws the steak down into the depths. An explosion of hungry, angered and ravenous mongoose cries fill the room, only dampened by the closing of the trap door.
“Growltigger would have wanted the Byzantium Hordes involved.” He turns to General (or is Lieutenant Colonel ) Woundwort and addresses a slight problem. “Surely we shouldn’t leave this place undefended? Agent Zero, Renegade, Mac, Yourself, you’ve all begun the assault. We shouldn’t leave this sanctified place unguarded Sir. Permission to set up defences, listen to the Gladiator Soundtrack and hold the Fort Sir! No patron of the Won Ton Hut will cross Taz’s polished oak bar alive!" RD Smiles slightly... "We Need a Bar and Grill and some scantily clad FBW's to come home to after this, Victory can be celebrated no other way!" |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
Atrocities begins to clean his "simple blaster."
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Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
Agent Zero strolls out of the bathroom, looking well-rested, but still feeling the lingering effects of too many Galactic Cores. He walks smartly over to Woundwort and drops to one knee.
"A decision has been reached, and the legions of Heaven and Hell stand ready to serve you, sir. We await your orders..." |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
The Angel of Death rises from her seat. She begins walking slowly towards General Woundwort who begins looking for escape routes and trying to lay his hands on something heavy. Having the Angel of Death walk towards you is very frightening event. When she reaches Agent Zero's side she does the unthinkable and drops to one knee as well. The other three Riders soon join her on either side of Agent Zero, waiting for their orders.
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Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
Agent Zero, having gotten bored waiting for orders, has just returned from the Won Ton, having given a certain young upstart a good flaying. He grabs a couple bottles from behind the bar, slips an arm around Death's waist and escorts her to a cozy booth in the back for a good snuggle.
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Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
"Oh very well. We'll leave the combat droids here. And I managed to re-activate the velociraptors as well, for defensive purposes. That still leaves us the torpedoes, the giant Mongooses, and us for the first assault."
"The plan of attack is... go forth and bust heads." http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/evil.gif "Any questions?" "TO THE TAKE OUT HUT!" |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
Erm... guys, what are you thinking? The latest goings-on at the Won-Ton seem to be somewhat unfortunate for you. Why don't you just give up?
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Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
Agent Zero pops into existance, recently freed from Jack Smith's pocket universe. The Angel of Death reappears shortly thereafter, minus her top. (Awww, yeah!) Fortunately, having wings to fold around her, her modesty is unperturbed.
"Right folks, I did my damndest to take out the Hut on my own, but I'm afraid I was defeated by a combination of illogic, blatant disregard for continuity, and a total lack of respect for whichever section of the Geneva Convention pretains to the rules of Forum War. I also regret to inform you that the Earth Portal to the Bar & Grill was destroyed, so we can't really go home for a while. On the plus side, the Hut seems to have been thoroughly obliterated by Strategia. I currently recommend a committee of 50 to attempt to untangle the mess of conflicting reports surrounding the final hours of the Hut, and a committee of 500 to determine exactly which side Strategia was fighting for. That is all." |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
RD sits alone in the at the polished bar with the small statue of Taz at the end. Only visible by the atmospherically placed spotlight. RD finishes another drink, a non-alcoholic one of course, even the largest cantina war in history could not break RD from his teetotal conviction, a silent toast to the statue of Taz before he gets back to his research. In the background, as promised, plays the gladiator motion picture soundtrack, It was a choice between that and something by Paradise Lost…
“Hmmm… Interesting…” Before him sits many books, hundreds of sheets of paper and enough weird *** artefacts to make a museum curator cream in excitement. “Why does it have to be so dam difficult? Which God of War or Death do I decide to call in favours from? Ares/Mars? Sekhmet? Odin? Mot? Hades? Sheesh why couldn’t there be a copy of the “Godly Pages” nearby?” RD realises he should keep his voice down, what with the Angel of Death nearby… Afterall, with his healthy interest in Mythology and such he learned long ago what Azrael’s fate was prophesised to be. Mumblings could be heard. “The last to die” “the second trump” “archangel” He continues mumbling, reading and studying. If one god could be found willing to protect this place it would be worth it. The Patron God of the Cantina, and ain’t nobody who f**ks with the divine! "I may not know my technology... But Ancient History and Theology is another matter" |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
The bar & grill will now be guarded by 10 starbases. Have a nice day.
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Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
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Starbases? Have you seen what some of the patrons drive here in? Last I checked Mac, Dogscoff and Growltigga were known to have worldships in orbit of this place. It's almost mandatory for the parking lot to have at least 2 baseships, several dreadnoughts and god know's what else there! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...es/biggrin.gif Don't matter, We may need the scrap to fix doors or something http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
Theres lots of fighters in there as well. I need to know what mod has worldships before I make them...
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Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
Message from Bartender, To be confirmed by Staff
Until Notified The Staff of this Cantina (aka Me and the FBW's) have taken the necessary precautions to ensure the safety of this Cantina, protection of this home away from home. Until Further Notice this Cantina is protected by an Anti Deus Ex Machina field. Fancy devices powered by Technobabble, obscene special powers, weapons or devices far beyond reasonable limits and/or the use of Time Travel will not work within the Anti Deus Ex Machina Field. We of the Cantina feel that if you have a problem bring a fleet that matches the technology of at least one SEIV Mod and duke it out in orbit, or resort to comedy violence and settle thing's the old fashioned way. This is to preserve the Cantina, and quite possibly the libido of the FBW's who find geeks arguing about technobabble a turn off and a difficult obstacle in the way of a successful day's work. Some will Call this an unfair move and may argue that such abilities worked for superheroes or even stars of science fiction tv series'. Well we at the Cantina say this. "You are not James T. Kirk, The Engines Canne Take it Cap'n and If you do not comply the FBW's will be happy to bestow a lethal dose of aggression to your table." Thank You, Raging Deadstar |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
a deep rumbling is heard coming from the inner sanctum.. Its getting louder and louder, RD strolls over and opens the door, his face turns lackluster purple, he closes the door and reports to all the patrons. The Inner Sanctum TT worshipping aliens have decided to join the in the bashing of THE HUT. They are currently sending a raiding team down thru the inner sanctum inner systems where they found a connecting one leading up to the inner sanctum or whatever its called over in the HUT.... who knows what mischief these deziens will create http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/eek.gif
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Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
Erm... Starbases? Worldships? Are you kidding me? I've got a 25MT COMCA in orbit! I could annihilate you all in one shot! And btw, the entire NORTHERN HEMISPHERE was annihilated when my ship opened fire... the Hut was just collateral damage. And it had already been crushed by a plummeting B-Destroyer III.
Face it. You need at least a Star Destroyer or a COMCA of your own to take out the USS Strategia III. |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
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Also, I swear a Worldship was bigger than 25mt... But then again it was a while since I played that mod http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif Ahh, Ultimate Vehicle Size Mod. Massive Worldship 40. 40mt of Pain, Death and Hurt!!! |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
Your Deus Ex Machina stops... non-mod ships. Well, 'scuse me, but the fine COMCA is a glorious part of the Capship Mod.
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Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
I think the COMCA was destroyed...
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Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
Anyway, I now have 8 Null-Destroyer class worldships in orbit. Read the hut fourm for stats. That null-space cannon is sweeeeeeet http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif
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Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
OK, enough of this intergalactic techno-mayhem... Growltigger materialises in the middle of the cantina, dressed in his favourite "Ali Bongo" magical outfit, and flanked by two of the more luscious FBW's (the Kirsty Gallagher and Victoria Silvstedt lookalikes - who are wearing about enough clothing to cover one rather small female, and believe, these two are definately not small in certain areas!!)....
The Great Kat surveys the cantina, and to evidence that he is indeed a cat with feelings, a small tear glistens in his eye when he sees what his beloved cantina has become, but not for too long, as he is not a girly man. Friends, Patrons, Countrymen (oh, and you wretched north americans)... what have we done? what have we let our cantina become? how could it slip into such a pit of wanton despair.. This cannot be, it shall not be... Using the age old mantra of "izzy Wizzy Let's Get Busy", the Great Kat waves his magic wand... Kazamm, the decor of the cantina is spruced back into its wonderful neo-classical fusion style... Pazazzz, an all girl orchestra wearing thongs and saucepan lids appears on stage, blasting out some bottom kicking tunes... Powey, the kitchen is refreshed to its previous glory, tribbles wings on the spit roast and lots of nibbles, pizzas etc.... Thsspppp, a taz clone appears behind the bar, polishing the counter and licking the glasses clean as always and waiving a sign saying free booze for the first ten thousand customers.... Wahey.... a mulititude of scantily clad FBWs appear on the dancefloor, beckoning to the patrons to come join them for a tuppeny upright.... Thwokkk, thecarpark is cleared away and retarmaced,, Barry the T Rex appears, dressed in his valet uniform and looking forward to refusing entry (and eating) the more undiscerning punters... Biff.... hordes of killer mongoose, ninja shrimp, evil sea beasts, swamp monsters, killer raccoons, pyscho squirrels and ornery varmints appear behind the cantina, ready to join their evil boss in cartoon mayhem... Blammo.... everything gets back to normal save for the one last great miracle.... Waving his wand and summoning all his strength, GT looks at Mac and casts the most difficult spell, suddenly, Mac is grabbed by a force divine and is dunked into a large tub of antiscpetic, his clothes are miraculously repaired, he is cleanned up and even more wonderfully, the disturbing smell of wee wee he always carried with him is scrubbed clean! he is left smelling fresh, looking presentable, and less like a right of spinbdle shanked tosspot and pervert.... GT loses the Al Bongo outfit, reverts to his dinner jacket and cigar, stows the red hot poker hand cannon behind the bar, and as the stompin' strains of "Just a Gigolo" come from the all-girl orchestra, goes down to the dancefloor to join the FBW's in a lot of full contact dancing.... The good old days are back...who do we beat up first? |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
Hey RD, you know you owe me a favour or three? Well, please forward that report to the relevant authorities, and clear up my name from all records of the Cantina. It isn't that I am being suspicious of course, just the routine.
So, your monopoly has once more been challenged. The location of the new Chat and Grill has been pinpointed to be exactly here . The owner, or one of the owners of the place, made a proclamation of independence from the Cantina here . Hope you will make good use of this data RD, and don't forget, I've never been here. The United Spying Cells: all the intelligence you have ever wanted without asking it, and then some more you couldn't care less about. |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
Hey kids here at the Bar and Grill!
It turns out that the Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut is doing really well! yea yea yea! Let's see if we can work out a deal. Our feud to this point has resulted in a lot of shattered glass and my air hockey table was bumped during the Air Hockey Intergalactic Super Championships. Why don't we both pool our resources and build a wormhole so we can bridge our two establishments and create one super getaway for the masses? Either that or I can just use the revenue from the 2,302nd Olympiad (which we held in the dining area) and buy you out? Think about it, my groovy arch-enemies! Peace, Love, and Bellbottoms! |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
Dear Rudy, tho we appreciate your forthcoming acquaintence in the search of free space, You must direct all inquires to the owner of this establishment, One, Mr GT GrowelTigga Inc. along with his compatriot in arms, one Dogscoff, they have controlling interest of these premisis. Therefore, all correspondence must be directed towards his furry highness http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...es/biggrin.gif
PS. (GT, tks for the new threads and the free wash, the soap was a little green and rough, but i hardly noticed it with my clothes still on. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...ies/tongue.gif The old one enters the spanking new look Cantina with a Liz Hurly clone on each arm and a chainmail lady clone leading his procession to his old defumagated, disinfected and whitewashed cornor table. |
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What!?! No more darkened corners for me to lurk in? Oh well, I guess I can see if any of those FBW's are lonely http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif
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Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
Oooh! New and shiney. Hey does anyone know where I can leave my horde of fluffy rabid bunny rabits? I left em outside and they seem to be mating with the killer mongeese which I fear will create a master race that will destroy us all.
Anyhoo, I'm still noticing a complete lack of male FBWs. Bring on the oily muscley men! In jeans cause Speedos are just nasty. Now in accordance with Growltigger's latest directive let's have ourselves some cartoon violence! Angel promply drops an anvil on Renegade's head. Ha! You thought I forgot, didn't you? Bwahaha! |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
Agent Zero gently twaps Angel on the back of the head with an oversized wooden hammer.
"And why exactly would you be needing male FBWs, my dear? |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
Strategia enters the B&G.
"So... you wanted cartoon violence?" pulls out a massively oversized tommygun from inside his maffioso tux's breast pocket fires a couple of undersized sharks as bullets from the tommygun. A pair of them seek towards Angel and AZ. |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
RD Quickly whips out one of the infamous black holes from many a cartoon and slings one across the floorboards to Strategias feet, who promptly falls into the basement.
"Now that was a plot-hole and a half" *insert groans here* http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
the small sharks continue to seek after Angel and AZ as they run (fly) to evade them. Snapping hungrily, they pull their fins more to their bodies, and for some reason suddenly go much faster, as it always is in cartoons.
From the basement: "Hunh?" |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
Agent Zero leads Angel through a maze of coridors and doors, barely keeping ahead of the miniature sharks racing after them. They race up and down stairs, around corners and down hallways until they reach the basement and leg it passed a dazed Strategia, and leap up to the ground floor, whereupon Zero unsticks the hole from the floor and tucks it away in his pocket. The two then nonchlantly stroll over to the bar and order very stiff drinks.
Somewhere below them, a faint screaming can be heard... |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
Gingerly rubbing the growing lump on the back of his head from that (very heavy!) anvil, Renegade slumps over in a corner, and allows the FBW's to massage his lump.
"Thanks Angeladelamuerte, I needed that...more attention from beautiful women, thanks!" Waiting for a time to gain his revenge...as soon as his head stops spinning! |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
The old one takes a short break from the never ending, diabolical, excreating, long suffering, goings on at the Bar and Grill, for a moment of silence. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...es/biggrin.gif
Everyone please drop in to the Shrapnel forum listed on the games directory and wish Tim and Annette happy aniversary. Show them all of us here and the B&G wish them lots of luck and invite them over for a brewski or two to celebrate http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
Ashton comes into the bar with... A laser rifle! Cartoon violence to follow. Sci-fi cartoon, but still cartoony.
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Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
Growltigga, reminiscing over the good old days, walks over to Mac, picks him up by an ankle, walks over to NullAshton and proceeds to bash him round the head with the smelly old swine....
GT then locks Mac in the glasswasher and puts it on a high cycle, before coming back to the prone NullAshton and pulling out the infamous Red Hot Poker Hand Cannon..... Tune into the next episode to see if anything will stop our plucky (but prone) NullAshton from a red hot reaming experience!! |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
Hey there Growltigger, been a while since I have seen you post. The good old days are still here, there are just more of them. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif
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Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
NullAshton points up his laser rifle, and fires it point blank at Growltigger, sending him flying across the bar, if not vaporizing him.
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Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
Little did NullAston realize the Growltigger had his emersive body armor on and the blast regenerated him while he was flying through the air. Poor Null, he was soon afterward vaporized into a ton of Ash. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif
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Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
NullAshton comes back in. Good thing he has all those frozen clones! He then takes out a massive shard cannon, and blows the heck out of Growltigger.
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Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
dripping wet but clean, the wize one saunders over to his table,downs a brewski to clear the cobwebs out after his body was used as a smashing piece, he places his usal order with the FBW and sits back to watch the firewords between GT and NullAshton. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/eek.gif Little does NA know how GT's red hot poker works..... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...es/biggrin.gif he shall soon find out, oh, he yells over to NA, hey NullAshton, watch out for the killer mongooses and old T-Rex http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...es/biggrin.gif
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Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
Has this died again?
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