Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

Hey, now wait just a cotton pickin' minute here. What on green earth did I do this time to deserve this. If it's for using the PTOM to change into Tigga then dude, I thought you'd be honored that I did that since you said, "Famous Historical Figures" , so that should be a complement that I would think of you as being a Famous and Historical figure, right? If not then...well I'll take my beating like a man... After I run like H-E-double hockey sticks.

RN then takes to flight out into the parking lot where he uses his PTOM to change into a berry look-a-like and when the hords come out he points to the real berry as if saying there he is!

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

*Dogscoff looks at Trajan's assembled Roman Legion, camped out on the dancefloor. In a fit of surreal humour, Dogscoff zaps them with his patented Dance-O-Tron. The Jukebox begins blaring out "Staying Alive" by the Bee Gees and laughs hysterically as a hundred or more Roman soldier are irresistibly compelled to do jerky John Travolta impersonations in a mess of clanking armour and weaponry.

Slapping his thigh with laughter, Dogscoff realises he's missing an arm. He goes to fish it out of the Dishwasher and find someone willing to sew it back on...

[ October 25, 2002, 16:40: Message edited by: dogscoff ]

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">HEY!!! That was in MY signature!! It's copywrited you know, you'll have to obtain my aproval first!
Lawbreaker! GT, I'm in need of a good lawyer! Get over here (well as soon as the battle is settled)!
http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Hmm... never thought I would say that. It is indeed a strange day at the cantina. Or is it all the tinkering on my gearbox to achieve timetravel?

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

Hmmm, I'm pretty sure it's your gearbox.

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

The camera pans out into the carpark where the Valencian army led by the incomparable Growltigga astride Barrecephalus, his famous war-tyrannosaurus, looks around and cant see Drooltigga anywhere, but there is a large berry lurking in the car park..

"Men" says Growltigga, "that cowardly Drooltigga has been scared off, but let us not waste this opportunity to engage in some target practice, feather yonder berry for me"

Ragnarok screams as a flight of crossbow bolts thuds into his backside

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

As RN was trying to bend over and pick up trash from the parking lot he gets hit in the rear side by a bunch of crossbow bolts. "HOLY S...! What the hello was that?!" He screams. RN turns around and sees GT and his men playing target practice on his behind. He pulls out the bolts and throws them at GT and then takes off running as fast as a T-rex can go. RN then realizes that he is being out-run. So he turns back into his normal form and continues to run, he is gaining ground on his pursuers but he cannot think of any ideas as to where to hide or anything.
He continues to scream bloody murder as he runs away...

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

Timstone is busy, as always, tinkering with things he shouldn't touch and mess with. But heck that is the thing with those engineers, they wreck stuff in order to understand it and reproduce it, and of course because wrecking stuff is fun.

On the cantina floor besides his favorite patron RD, Timstone is busy with bolting strange devices onto his gearbox. A beeping noise that grows louder and faster, suddenly resounds throughout the cantina. Drops of sweat appear on Timstone's forehead. He must think quickly or else most certainly the whole cantina is going to be blown to smithereens. With a flick of his wirecutter he snaps a few of the wires leading from the mainreactor unit (hey, it needs power, doesn't it?!) to the secondary emergency array of fusionwarheads (Hey, it also needs some thingies to kick alien ***!). The alarming beep abruptly stops. "Phew, another catastrophy avoided.". The whole cantina returns to normal. Timstone can hear some patrons say something like: stupid inventor, idiotic numbskull. Timstone doesn't even listen to them, the ignorant fools! During the short crisis, Timstone thought of a dasterdly good plan, a develish clever paln to make his timetraveling gearbox work. "Hmm... yes." he says "Crazy enough, it might just work! Muahahah!!" He quickly grabs a bottle of absinthe, his Hellraiser DVD box and a dirty magazine, he welds, bolts and sticks them onto his beloved gearbox and turns the key on the dashboard of the vehicle. The engine gives a loud bang and after that the engine runs like a hummingbird. Nice and smooth. When he hears the sound of the engine and sees the original X-Com: Apocalypse style (the game kicks *** big time and the look of the city and vehicles are just gorgeous) exterior of his timetraveling gearbox, he realizes he's after something big (*a old gramaphone starts yelling a grande introduction*), something that will change the world of today, something of immense importance, something that can be uttilized for profit, great profit, hehe...
Timstone sits on his gearbox, with bottle of absinthe, Hellraiser DVD box and dirty magazine attached and pushes the biggest button on the dash. "I have no freaking idea what this button does, but it is big, red and it's flashing, so let's push it!". The obscure machine shoots out a beam of energy a la Independance Day, the beam hits a table flipped over by one of the marching armies in the cantina and makes a small hole in the air. Then a huge discharge of energy the table is smashed to tiny bits and pieces. With a huge crackle the air is being ripped apart with such force and energy that near half of the cantina-patrons are thrown away. With a occasionally crack of lightning and some flashes the hole in front of Timstone grows and grows and finaly reaches a diameter of 10 meters then the hole stabilises. After a second of two Timstone's ingenius machine launches a bolt of energy and the hole simply rips open and the fabric of spacetime gives way to the blackness of the dimension beyond. After the supprising second stage of the hole Timstone looks into the hole and sees nothing. When he is about to get of his apparatus, the hole starts spewing some sort of slime. With the first voley of the slime Timstone, his gearboxvehicle, RD, Mac, GT, Dogscoff, Taz, Gryphin, Rags, FBW's and a host of other visitors are covered in the goo. After a second barrage from the hole, the whole of the cantina is filled with the strange and smelly slime. Everybody is frozen to the spot and is beaten by amazement. Timstone quickly pulles some levers, pushes some puttons and turns some knobs. Then the hole starts sucking everything covered in slime into the hole. The awesome sucking force of the hole (just like a good woman http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif ) is so great that nobody is able to escape it. No longer fed by energy from Timstone's timetraveller, the hole collapses and stops to be. The Last thing everybody hears is the kaazoooom of the hole closing.

[ October 25, 2002, 18:49: Message edited by: Timstone ]

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

...Having suffered most mightly during Dogscoff's "induced Travolta dancing" Trajan and his not-quite-dead-yet Legionaires begin tearing off the white polyester pant suits and white leather loafers.

Looking around for a means to get the ringing BeeGee's sng out of their ears, Trajan and gang are suddenly covered in slime and stuck where they stand on the dance floor.

When the "Great sucking" sound begins the legionaires begin falling towards the gaping maw and into the darkness beyond. Trajan, always the politically minded not-so-very-dead roman emperor, notices that the great sucking sound appears to orginiate from a hole which has the apparent shape of Ross Perot's weasely face.

Like all things politcally associated with Ross Perot, the whole scheme (pun intended) collapses upon itself with a loud kaazoooom signalling yet another failure of Ross Perot's political career.

The goo covered patrons of the Cantina begin to scrape the muck and slime from all their crackls and crevices.

Edited to account for Trajan's curious inability to spell.

[ October 25, 2002, 19:07: Message edited by: Trajan ]

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

:: Using the Holographic Projector built into his Travel Computer: Generates an object from earths Egyptian Hieroglyphs. A translation reads:
Who is General Protection Fault and what is he doing on my clay tablet"?

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

STOP>>>>> Yells Mac, everything in the cantina freezes... We missed Trajan's birthday, it was this past Wednseday.... we must all tip a salute to his aging process before we continue on with our normal, everyday mayhem, violence, and strange happenings.

To Trajan -Happy belated birthday to you, happy belated birthday to you... sings mac as he wipes off some of the slime covering him and upends a brewski....

FBWs seeing poor Cassanova Mac covered in goo, rush over and proceed to administer to every part of his anatamy covered by slime.... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Green covered Cassanova Mac