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Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
*Dogscoff gets up from his table and crosses the bar. He leans behind the counter and presses a discrete button.
A trapdoor in the ceiling opens and a mountain of onions fall out to completely bury Tesco Samoa. He casually returns to his table and resumes his pint. |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
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Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
When was the Last time someone cleaned the mens room? My Gott People, that place is supporting life of a great many unknown creatures, germs, and bacteria. Hell at this rate, in about a week, one will need to bLast his way into the restoom, and pray that he does not get eaten by some unknown thing while releaving him self. And then they will have to look forward to the fight out.....
[ August 29, 2002, 10:56: Message edited by: Atrocities ] |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
I found this while cleaning out old links.
I don't remember who wrote it, or where I got it. Quote:
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Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
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*Mensch walks into the bathroom and hangs up exactly 64 pine tree-shaped air fresheners. Done and done. |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Lol, sssssh, ever since we started to attack those bill gates clones and slag off windows My pc won't startup unless i hold alt throughout its startup??? I knew those upgraded drivers weren't useful!!!
Hmmm taz is an evolved tazmanian devil. *Brings Up his Encyclopedia Keyring* The evolved tazmanian, only 1 in existance, has only 2 advanced qualities. To talk without bursting into "Yachety Smachkety" or the words taz says (not attempting to type that!), also has the ability to consume large quantities of alcohol while spinning round.... Ok i see, the Last part is vital to any species survival! The restroom was great as it was!! You walk in, get attacked by Loo seat worshipping pygmies with toilet brushes, avoid large neptune flytraps which now have those tree air freshners hanging off their teeth. By the time you got to the cubicle (not with the one with a huge sewer snake like thing that shoots up the loo and sucks you down!) your so desperate to releave yourself, and if you suffer constapation well hey presto, your cured! Now thanks to Jmenschenfresser he has upset an ecosystem and will be plauged by the loo seat worshipping pygmies!!!" Oh well, Taz get Jmenschenfresser Something strong of his choice on tiggas tab! I'm sure when he's intoxicated being attacked by loo brushes won't be that bad! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Lol!
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Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Trajan adroitly sidesteps a red vested Barry as he runs into the Cantina yelling it's FRIDAY!!! and this weekend is a 3-day weekend for those of us in the USA. WOOHOO. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif
Rushing the bar, Trajan jumps up and begins to tap-dance in joy at the prospect of three days without having to face his cowardly, micromanaging, Harvard educated CEO! The FBWs look at him as though he has flipped his gourd and then return to their work quielty pleasing the rest of the Cantina's customers. Taz, May I have a yard of Bass Ale please....I have some serious drinking to do! <sniff sniff> And where is that overwhelming Pine Scent coming from???? That is definatly not a natural odor for this fine drinking establishment. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif Cheers! Trajan [ August 30, 2002, 14:06: Message edited by: Trajan ] |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
The loo worshippers are a highly evolved form of life...far greater than you or I...possibly greater than the entire cantina combined.
I mean can you blame them for worshipping the loo, since they have proven through equations centuries beyond us that this loo is the exact center of the universe. They wait and conjure god. We've been using the center of the universe as our septic tank. I'm fearing for my life right now. If they ever manage to get their god to appear from the depths...I'd imagine, he's going to be mighty wrathful. BTW, they thought it stunk too. |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Whoa, those tree-shaped fresheners are great! They are called "Wunderbaum".
The one with the strawberry flavour, sorry... smell, is the most filthy one. It almost made me vomit in the car of a friend of mine, but the rest of those trees smell quite good. |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
... ahh that german beer does wonders.
*Goes outside* *Lifts the tarmac surrounding the pub* *Bumps it all the way to the front of the spacestation* *Goes back inside* What? |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Ah, great! Who's going to clean that up?!
It most certainly won't be me. |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
...Just great, I go back into the storeroom for a bit and when I come out I find:
-The Men's room is now a religious shrine with a fearsome pine scent. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...s/confused.gif -Trajan dancing on the bar. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...s/rolleyes.gif -somebody managed (somehow) to shake the parking lot like a rug! (which has upset Barry's delicate digestion again http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif ) -and some weird robed guy's are chasing Jmenschenfresser around the cantina http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif Well I'm not going to try to explain this to a certain furry striped owner. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif ...Besides Dogscoff was in charge http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif ... |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
I never said the loo worshipping pygmies were unsuperior to us! Any species that can worship "the great white bowl" must be culturally advanced! Maybe, these pygmies actually gave us mere mortals the technology to actually be culturally superior and be hygenic, imagine a world if the Toilet hadn't been invented!
*shudders* Of course as much as i'm in awe of the pygmies, i don't want to be in there when their great god emerges from the depths of the septic tank!! I think that we'll leave the possibillity of all sorts of fecal disasters to growltigga, afterall, he is the owner! But note to taz, i would get rid of the air freshners, i think the ammount thats in their could poison the regulars! Of course if we want to have cultural debates on whats evolved in the many rooms of the cantina, whats happened in the basement, the ladies bathroom (i don't think we have many female customers so imagine how long its been since someone went in there!!!) or of course, that corner where geoschmo was getting *ahem* examined by the two ninjas! He hasn't been around much since http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Say has any one here seen Gizmo? He is resembles a cat, but is an insidous flesh eating monster from another dimension. He is my pet, and I think he managed to escape from my ship Last time I was here. Don't be alarmed, he only eats those who fall asleep, are too drunken to walk, and those who smell like tuna.
Here is his picture, do not be fooled, he is a visous man eating little monster with a formiddable apitite. Gizmo Oh yes, one Last thing, do NOT pet him. Trust me. [ September 01, 2002, 14:51: Message edited by: Atrocities ] |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
For the ones from the Dogs area, that little cat is more like dessert http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif
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Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
He is not a "cat." He is small man eating monster with sharp teeth and a nasty dispossion. Oh ya, he eats dogs, namely Great Dains, as apitizers. So ya, go pet him. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif :evil
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Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Mac strolls into the cantina after being away for awhile, as he canters over to his favorite table, he notices a strange furry creature in the far cornor, looks similiar to a cat, but more ferocious looking, hmm, it appears to be nibbling on poor ol Geo, who is slumped sleeping on the floor near the dart board. Hmm, did he ever grow another head, oh well, mac sits and reclines at his table, orders his usual breakfast from a FBW, when he is over come by a strange new odor emitting from, of all places, the inner sanctum of relief, now what he mumbles, he gets up walks towards the inner sactum, passing a dancing Trajan, and enters the room, where he is immediatly set upon by some form of pygmy type creatures with sticks in their hands and singing some strange dirge... Now what the H... is going on here, A man can't even enjoy peace in the inner sanctum anymore, as he backs out pushing the little creatures away from him as well as his senses being assaulted by some horendous over coming ordor, as he quickly makes his exit he notices what appears to be hundreds of odor freshners hanging from everywhere in the room, could these be what these little people/creatures are attracted to??, Mac exits, walks out behind the cantina, finds a large fire hydrant and proceeds to relieve the excess baggage that was pressuring his inner anatamy, ahahhhhhhhhh
just some ideas mac |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Gryphin, ck your email, let me know if it came out ok
mac |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
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Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
feeling the urge, puke heads over to the lavatory for relief, only to come bounding out with a look of shock and horror upon him.
"What dastardly bastardry is this?!" puke demands, as he plunks down a quarter to rent a Prussian helmet and a Flammenwerfer. puke disappears back into the head, followed by the sounds of high pressure fluids being combusted and the short-lived screams of the loo-worshipers. returning much relieved, yet facing the inquiries of the loo-worshiper-supporters, puke replies: "it was icky in there. and besides, religion isnt a topic of polite discussion in public. or anywhere else." |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Lol yep, i wonder what growltigga has in store for these pygmies? i mean poor old mac, at his age (or so i'm told http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif ) getting such a struggle each time he needs to relieve himself, it could give him a heart attack, and gt won't be pleased with a regulars death!!! Also they're kinda under his possesion as he owns the cantina. Anyway he's a lawyer, i don't even think the advanced loo worshipping, toilet brush weilding, tree shaped air freshner attracted pygmies will even try to argue with a lawyer!
*Dream Sequence* GT smiles prodly as he stands before a press conference and drops a huge curtain. After many hours of painstaking work he'd managed to train the pygmies to wear uniforms, take tips and use air freshners and now was marketing them as toilet maitenance workers, the newest household appliance!!! *Dream Sequence Ends* I can just see Growltigga walking into his "cantina office* and purring loudly as he swims around in his cash note filled swimming pool as more falls from the roof! Ooooh Puke, as much as i don't believe in religion i do not think you have made a wise decision *points over pukes shoulder* The great god of the septic tank has arrived, with more, now slightly angry (and smelly!),pygmies! *The scene where puke is attacked by the formentioned creatures cannot be described! Though be sure there was lots of fecal matter, loo brushes, toilet roll and godly powers involved* Genocide is never a good thing as puke found out, well unless its on SEIV, then i guess its ok. I mean if they start war, then refuse to surrender what else can you do except attack them with troops??? [ September 02, 2002, 19:51: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ] |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
...Taz, flinching slightly as a nasty piece of somebody else's business goes flying past his head, decides that he will have to do something quick before things get out of hand. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif
Moving quickly he starts throwing Bill Gates clones into the melee, while signaling the FBW's to release the two cases of trained mongooses stashed behind the bar for emergencys. The loo worshipers now sufficently distracted, he glances over to the so called 'Sewer God'. Going into the well known 'pee-pee dance', Taz manages to get the attention of this Diety and enters into hasty negotiations... ... 3 cases of air fresheners, a lifetime supply of squeezable tissue paper, four brand new Flush-O-Matic 3000's (with optional auto-wipe attachment), and a gross of powered loo brushes later; said 'Sewer God' has withdrawn wence he came taking his worshipers with him. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...s/rolleyes.gif I suggest that until a more permanent solution is reached, the customers use the half-dozen Port-O-Potties being delivered just off the patio area! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
All hail to negotiator Taz! He saved the cantina!!
But also hail to Puke, for he started the liberation of our toilet! Now the toilets are out of order, can't I relief myself on the womens toilet? I have long hair and otherwise I must walk all the way to the patio. [ September 03, 2002, 11:04: Message edited by: Timstone ] |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
The website
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Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
??
You're not making sense here... |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
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Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Theyrule is very nifty! I wonder how long it took them to put it together.
Cheers! Trajan |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Okay, it's time to go now. I've sat around long enough. Time to do some armsshipping and earn me some bucks.
*drinks up his Last bit of beer* *Prepares to leave* *searches pockets* My keys, where are my keys?! I swear I put them in this jacket! Now I can't get my ship started again! Damn! I left them in my other jacket. Ahhh, I will be stuck in this cantina forever! *Takes a moment to relax* *Takes a look around* *Thinks* *Steps on a table* Ahum! Everybody, quiet, please! I have lost my spaceship keys and now I can't start the damn thing let alone board it. Could someone lend me a hand with opening my tin spacefaring can? Maybe a snipershot on the locking mechanism of my door? [ September 04, 2002, 16:08: Message edited by: Timstone ] |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
headlines
Woody Allen's Third Wife Born First Place Cops Looked Was Inside AT-AT Bishop Takes Queen and onion in history... http://www.theonion.com/onion3832/history_3832.html |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Timstone
Maybe Barry can help you. |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Well, how does Barry look like and where can I find this good man?
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Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Tim,
Barry is the large-toothed, often red vested, once thought extinct, T-Rex parking attendant. He is a very affable chap with a ravenous appetite. So keep any raw meat out of sight and scent. Cheers! Trajan |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Barry is partial to Bill Gates Clones as payment, however, you could also ask Dogscoff for some of his more stronger deep sea minions, they may be able to open it up, if none of that works, there's always those loo pygmyies, at least those that aren't splattered all over the inner sanctum http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif or there is the... Onion....
just some ideas mac |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
sorry, was that your onion? i just had it deep fried and battered. care for a slice?
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Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Ok who here owns a toque ???
Sliders Fan No Longer Has The Will To Send E-Mails To Producers PORTLAND-- Eric Swenson has participated in several e-mail fan campaigns that successfully restored the now-cancelled science-fiction series "Sliders" to network televison. However this time around, Eric has no desire to use the Internet to keep the show alive. "I was really enthusiastic the first four or five times I helped save Sliders," said Eric, 24. "But now, I realize that the only reason I watched the later seasons was to see Maggie's (Kari Wuhrer's) breasts." |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
My good Tesco, there is nothing wrong with someone who wants to research the anatamy of well endowed females that are shown on the Boob Tube. Science takes into account all things necessary to enhance the pleasures of life's roadways, therefore, if the youngster only watched the program to increase his knowledge of such wonderous sights, then by all means he should be allowed to enjoy any new episodes that appear, or forever be banished to watching re-runs.... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif
Puke, I'll take a slice depending on if you used your special sauce or not http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif just some ideas mac |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
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Dogscoff returns to the bar, buys a beer and waits. After a few minutes, a distant rumbling noise is heard and as it gets closer, the sounds of alarms, sirens and screaming get louder and louder. Several office buildings on the other side of town are pulled down by giant tentacles as Ruraigh (Dermott's big brother) makes his way to the Cantina. Upon reaching the parking area, Ruraigh picks up Timstone's vehicle like a toy and rips it in half, dropping the front section back in the parking space and hurling the other half some 3 or 4 miles, where it lands with a crunch and a scream. At this point, the army's specialised "Sea Monster Urban Response Force" (SMURF) turn up to deal with the Ruraigh, who is fulfilling his contractual obligation as a 300 metre long squid to trash the dock areas in true Godzilla fashion every time he comes to town. The battle rages on on the other side of town and half a SMURF tank smashes through the Cantina's window and lands next to the bar. Dogscoff returns to his beer, glad to have done someone a favour. [ September 05, 2002, 11:32: Message edited by: dogscoff ] |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Ehh... well what should I say? Thank you?
Damn, I just had it repainted. P.S. Nice abbreviation. Haha... almost fell from my chair. |
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I'll see if I can sort out some repairs for you. I know a cuttlefish who's dead handy with a arc-welder. First we'll have to arrange the retrieval of the rear half of your craft though, which mightn't be so easy. Anyone got any ideas? *Dogscoff steps over a discarded SMURF trooper and peruses the menu. Hmmm... fresh calamari tonight. |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Sorry to interrupt the cartoon violence but, the Fluffy Bunnie Empire is having some problems. Any Galactic Bash people, particularly Tesco and Geo, my Last turn file was totally buggered up. I have posted the details in the game forum, but the short Version is that a bunch of the ships that were build do not appear. Please have a look and see if there is anything that can be done.
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Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Ducking as part of Tim's ship goes flying through the air, Trajan grabs some marinara sauce, and a small fork and prepares for the eventual squid frying that will occur.
---- Fried Squid in Marinara YUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM! Anyone got a nice bottle of R'Bolla Gialla to go with the squid? Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif Trajan |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Hmm... an cuttlefish welder. That would help.
The ship I own(ed), well the two halves anyway, is quite a collectors item. I paid a lot of credits for it at the black market. Or shouldn't I have mentioned that? Anyway any help with the recovery and repair of my once so beautifull craft would be greatly appreciated. The person who brings the rear half of my ship back, will feast like a king. He (or she) will receive a kings meal. And yes, you can order what you like from the menu in this fine establishment. Damn if this tearing apart of my ships will occur more often, I will personally go on a whale and squid hunt. And shout though language at my lakeys on my spaceship. Shiver me timbers! Arr, me maties! I be searchin' for the all me life! [ September 05, 2002, 15:43: Message edited by: Timstone ] |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Saxon did you run out of minerals...
Pehaps you could send the Last two turns to some one to look at... Or I could... You would have to supply them a password to access your empire... Is someone willing to look at saxon's Last two turns to determine if something is afoot ?? |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Saxon - could it simply be that your Last turn wasn't processed (despite having been submitted) and the computer played it for you?
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Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
maybe we can geo to look at it since his days as tigga are at a close ??
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Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Here, Tim. You can have the keys to the Austin Couper that Tigga gave me to replace my dreadnaught that was lost in the Last bout of parking lot mayhem. I just modded some new wheels anyway.
(puke points up to the gargantuan glob of vomit illuminating the night sky, clearly visible through the skylight and from the patio.) Battlemoon. All custom components. Dont even THINK about constructing one at a non-modded spaceyard. |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Wow! You would really do that for me?!
Oh, goodie goodie! Can it blow stuff up? My late spaceship could blow up anything exept it's engines. |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
*Dogscoff looks up at Puke's new Battlemoon.
"oooooh, nice. Want me one o' those." Hey Puke, can I take a look around it? I promoise not to break anything, and I'll leave all my sea monsters at home. [ September 05, 2002, 16:49: Message edited by: dogscoff ] |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Speaking of which:
----------------------------------------------- 2417-Model Low Crusier, Q.E., All.Sub., 2 PPB, 1 Q.Torp, Low light-yearage, Shields good, Armor fair, little dings around the space hatch from P&N run-in. Jet black, genuine fluffy bunny fur on the dash. 5000 nego. ------------------------------------------------ |
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