Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
 

Renegade has shot at me with some form of twitch inducing bullet! I have been attacked while offering peace and Bread Pudding!

Attack!!!

Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
 

Hehe, sorry, kinda late. Already started attacking. Brought you outta the line of fire too http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill (soon to be gone)
 

Sorry, my null-technology device is still working quite well. Your well-placed barrage effectively disappeared from this universe, thus causing no damage. Also, you most assuredly were NOT in your battle-whatever. I clearly saw you strolling down my street, which was explicitly under B&G control.

Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill (soon to be gone)
 

Whatever... Aren't you sort of technology, an organic machine? Wouldn't you cease to function?

Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill (soon to be gone)
 

Organic technology...perhaps we all are organic technology. However, the null-technology field does not nullify organic life, therefore it can not nullify organic technology.

Anyways, isn't it a little unsporting to try and wipe out the entire B&G from orbit? Isn't it much more fun to engage in all sorts of hilarious and gratuitous cartoonish violence rather than a simple blasting??

Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill (soon to be gone)
 

Ahh but did you not notice when I entered the bar I also pulled the plug on your null space technology from behind the jukebox?!

And about cartoonish fighting from inside...

I've also planted a bread pudding bomb near the bar. Enjoy the sticky toastiness, ungroovy ones!

Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
 

That would be rather difficult for you to have done, seeing as how I shot you. Or was the after you pulled the plug? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...ies/tongue.gif

Knew I should have gotten the internal power source. Note to self: Don't be so cheap!

Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
 

Renegades Last Words:

"Dammit, I knew I should have bought longer than a 6ft extension cord..."

Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
 

Renegade, your null-field negates technology, right? Well, isn't a .308 sniper rifle technology? And a jukebox? So your sniper rifle and your jukebox won't work..... and you say the power feeds for the field were INSIDE the field? And power is technology, so the field negates the power, and therefore itself.....

Ah, I love a good paradox.

Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
 

So, wait. I twitched for nothing?

Oh you are all so dead. Vice Chief Ashton, I authorize the full use of ground troops and assorted food products for a direct assault!

Vice Chief Strategia, bring your fleet to bear and blockade the valet!

Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
 

My velociraptoid troops begin assulting the bar, ripping apart defenses, and any inhabitants.

Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
 

Actually, a .308 caliber sniper rifle is NOT technology. It is a set of mechanical reactions caused by a finger pulling the trigger, and the rest is a chemical reaction of the gunpowder propelling the bullet. It's in no way technological in nature.

So no Rudy, you didn't twitch for nothing http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

Damn paradoxes http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/mad.gif

Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
 

But, I don't have a wound. So you, in fact, missed.

I twitched for another reason! Something's wrong with me! Bring me a CAT Scan!

Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
 

The null-technology field still unplugged?

Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
 

Yes, I snapped off the prongs on the plug and stuck them in a dish of Breen Stew!

Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
 

Good. NullAshton bombards the B&G some more after his troops are extracted

Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
 

A terrible screaming noise fills the air. More such noises join in. Three seconds later, the first plasma bomb hits. Almost half the B&G and part of the city is reduced to a smoking crater. The second bomb wipes away about a quarter of the city including a secret military installation where B&G forces were preparing a counterstrike on the Hut. Bombs continue to fall as Joint Chief Ashton's troops and air units advance on the ripped-open hulk of the B&G.

Meanwhile, in orbit, the smaller strike craft zoom around Barry the T-Rex, blocking him in.

"Commander-in-Chief, we've got them cornered. Preparing for the final blow. Awaiting your order."

Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
 

Initiate War Plan Burnt Sienna! Go go go!

Supreme Proprietor Rudy paces in his office, eating a banana split. He watches on closed circuit monitors the battle for the B&G as it unfolds. Plasma bombs fall in regular succession, destroying large sections of the parking lot as well as the front foyer and the hostess's station.

Ground troops encircle the B&G, and begin a series or probing attacks to test interior defenses. Vanguard assault troops begin moving through the parking lot rubble towards the front door.

Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill (soon to be gone)
 

Good thing we all evacuated to Some Unknown Destination a while back...

Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill (soon to be gone)
 

The B&G is abandoned! Quick, move in the shock troops and the bulding inspectors! The B&G will soon be mine!

MUAHAHAHAHAHA

Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill (soon to be gone)
 

Speak for yourself renegade. Whilst the Hut and it's regulars was bombarding the Bar and Grill I headed to the Won-Ton hut. Ran myself up a rather merry tab for those German Tourists watching the "fireworks" over here, "on the house" of course, and then hitched a ride back to my empire.

Rudy, I do hope you don't mind me lending a Hut washroom towel? It's so difficult to get around without one.

Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill (soon to be gone)
 

Raging Deadstar, you may take a towel, compliments the Won-Ton Violence Take Out Hut!

I'll throw in a bar of soap and your very own stool at the Hut Bar if you join our crusade to own all of the B7G dessert recipes!

Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
 

Ok, so it was just me running away in my cowardly way... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/eek.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/mad.gif

Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
 

Renegade, resistance has become futile. You will see, as soon as my Battlefield commanders report in!

Just give me the recipes and the pain can cease!

Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
 

Suddenly, a new warp point opens up in orbit around Sol III. B&G battleships begin streaming out of it as soon as it has stabilized its interdimensional gravitational axis (whatever that may be). The first wave destroys over half the orbital bombing fleet before it is destroyed. All ships then fire at will at the center of the warp point. The second wave is dispatched before it can cause any damage, but the third wave contains ships with strong armor and regenerative shielding. The orbital fleet is slowly being reduced to only the megawarships and bigger.

Then, suddenly, one of the Battle Jupiters transmits a message to the entire Hut fleet.

"Attention fleet, this is Captain Maverick of the WTVTOH SMBJ Cindy." (yes we name our Battle Jupiters after our FBWs) "We have detected unusual warpjump signatures. It looks like ships coming through a warp corridor, but there's no exit singularity. There appear to be a lot of ships. Stand by for anomalies. What effects this sort of travel has is unknown."

"They're coming closer. Stand by for tight defensive perimeter fleet."

Several rather large transparent blue rectangles and one huge transparent rectangle appear. The swaths begin moving backwards, revealing quite a fleet. A lot of rather large capital ships, several huge capital warships and one apparent command vessel begin moving towards the orbital fleet in tight formation as soon as the blue swaths have disappeared.

"Attention Hut fleet. This is Admiral Ertaohim of the Hiigaran Fleet. We are here to assist. Launch all fighters. Confirm aggressive tactics. Strike group formation Capital Phalanx. Let's show them what we're made of."

The fleet moves towards the B&G warp point. The next wave of warships is annihilated completely by ionic beam weapons from the larger warships. Even the Dreadnoughts that emerge next are annihilated by incessant fire from all ships. Eventually, the stream of ships appears to have dried up, and one of the Battle Jupiters closes the warp point.

"Attention Hut fleet. We are commencing bombardment of enemy ground assets now. Stay clear."



(Sorry, Homeworld2 just arrived yesterday and I'm completely addicted now - man what a game! - and I couldn't resist this.)

Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
 

Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
 

Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
 

Look at all those pretty explosions... I thought we were going to capture it?

Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill (soon to be gone)
 

The highrise office where Mr. Tigga met his doom was three miles away, in another section of the city.

Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill (soon to be gone)
 

Oh... Can I get dibs on the warehouses?

Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
 

There's nothing Cowardly about fleeing the battlefield to recruit reinforcements http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...es/biggrin.gif

RD's fiendish plan has already began, Anytime a Hut Patron attempts to load up SEIV Gold they will find that it is not the wonderful game that loads, but the abomination that is MOO3

Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
 

Hmmm... I never played MOO3. I need to try that one day...

Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
 

RD's plot is quickly exposed. The scoundrel runs to an Assault Frigate. (Yes, some Vaygr forces got wind of the Hiigaran incursion into this galaxy, so they allied themselves with the Hut. Growltigga, the Sajuuk-Khar.) Whne it tries to hyperspace away, a Gravity Well Torpedo is launched towards the ship. The hyperdrive malfunctions as the hyperspace window had already opened. A Marine Frigate moves in and docks with the Assault Frigate, which now lies adrift in orbit as the hyperdrive malfunction burned out the conventional drive engines.

As the Marines draw closer to the bridge, where RD is hiding, he gets in a high-speed armored escape pod and launches. The marines can just see the launch doors closing as they storm the bridge.

The escape pod is then intercepted by a tractor beam from one of the newly-arrived Sovereign-class ships. The pod is drawn towards the fleet. It is deposited inside the Pride of Hiigara, at the center of the tight formation.

When the pod is on board, three Marines draw RD out and remove all metallic and plastic objects from his persona with an advanced matter-aanihilation device. His belt buckle also disappears, and his trousers give way to flowered boxers just as Joint Chief StrategiaInUltima walks into the docking bay, escorted by a legion of heavily-armed guards.

"Well well well..... flowers? Now, to discuss the terms of your ultimate surrender..... I trust you speak for the B&G commanders, including the late Mr. Tigga?"

Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
 

GrowlTigger is probally still alive somewhere...

Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
 

Not so unless he's cloned himself. I mean, his lift was hit by a Destroyer Torpedo. That thing shouldn't even be able to fit in a lift shaft! Nobody can survive that, approx. 50 tons of high explosives going off less than 3 meters away from you!

On the other hand, I suspect that the B&G is not above a little cloning..... I mean, if you see the dumpsters outside their kitchens..... it's a miracle they don't crawl away of their own accord! (Oh, but that's probably because the beings in there are fitting the dumpsters with dimensional drive engines to launch them into space.....)

And btw, where does the "amp;" between the "Bar&" and "Grill" come from?

Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
 

From you.

Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
 

Really? Didn;t type it. Must be an error then.

Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
 

Perhaps. Cease fire!

NullAshton's troops invade the remaining establisments, fanning out, removing any resistance, and finding the deed, as well as recipies.

Ooo... Eee fruit punch...

Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
 

Meh. We have deep fried EEE. Much better.

Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
 

But it's a drink instead of food!

NullAshton claims it as his own.

Your troops need to help too.

Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
 

RD looks around quite cockily, not phased as much by the fact he was wearing flowery boxers... He looks up to meet the Joint Chief... A Bif F***ing Grin on his face.

"Well well well. The Joint Chief himself, I must say it's an honour to be taken so seriously as a threat..."

He looks at the three towering marines and smiles. RD is only 5ft 7, weighs between 55-60kg and is incredibly thin. The amusement of this is not lost on him.

"I must say You seem a little Paranoid...Rightly so. Indeed I do speak for the Bar and Grill Commanders and I have been ordered to give you this message."

RD looks up, a little glint in his eye as a high pitched noise slowly aggravates everybody's hearing, nothing more than a mild annoyance.

"No surrender, No retreat. We'll give you hell..."

With that several crystalline chemical compounds deep within RD's body begin to react. Neither Plastic or Metal it's scientific name is Trinitrotoluene, more commonly known as TNT. Within moments Raging Deadstar detonates in an explosion. The three marines near him are reduced to a few bloody chunks. A small metallic object remains from RD's remains, a dog-tag.

"Clone Subject: Raging Deadstar. Model: BG-TNT-576."

Meanwhile at un-disclosed location far away Raging Deadstar smiles. Those Hut guys were right, Bar and Grill patrons did resort to cloning a lot. He certainly had a history for genetic manipulation throughout the Cantina's history.

(The &amp is an error, looks like some faulty html or an error in the board.)

Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
 

I gave control of all my ground forces over to you.

You mean to say that the Armies, air forces and naval flotillas have done nothing AT ALL during this war?!? I mean, you could at least have ordered an airstrike with the fusion carpet bombers.....

edit: You forgot the legion of marines surrounding me. And the metallic dogtags were annihilated by the AMA devices used by my marines.

I missed your post at first count RD since I got the message "Connection refused" everytime I tried to post it. It works OK now.

Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
 

NullAshton's fleet quickly uses Asgard technology, and beams Strategia out and into safty.

Note to self, use holograms when negotiating.

Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
 

Ooo, I have control of ALL ground forces?

NullAshton sends ALL of the forces through, raiding all the food stores, and recipies. The deed is found in GrowlTigger's office, and is promptly taken back to the take-out hut, as the ground forces evacuate from the area.

Bombardment of the hut is done from the ground and from air, literally glassing the area, as the land that was one occupied by the B&G now becomes melted glass from the heat.

Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill (soon to be gone)
 

Commander-in-Chief Huxtable said it himself; you got the ground forces and the Battle Jupiters, I got the rest of the orbital fleet and was charged with expansion of the Hut into other dimensions. And I already had ground forces present on the planet and in orbit, so control of them automatically went over to you.

Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill (gone)
 

Awsome. By the way, don't you mean gone, instead of soon to be gone?

Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill (gone)
 

A warp-point slowly appears in orbit of the devastated planet, home to the Bar and Grill. Out of it flies a rather small vessel, battle cruiser class and vaguely similar to an Asgard vessel from SG1. Apart from a massive amount of shields and ECM the ship was relatively defenceless, it came to a stop outside of optimal weapons range of the grossly superior Battle-Jupiter’s in orbit. The Warp Point behind it closes. On board the Joint Chief’s Sovereign class ship a message is received.

A live video feed show’s Raging Deadstar, or at least, a clone, dressed in a rather sharp jacket and trousers, some epaulets adorn the shoulders. He grins.

“Nice to see you’re still alive Strategia, hope our last little confrontation wasn’t too explosive for you.

I’m not Raging Deadstar, or at least, Not the Original. I’m an Ambassadorial model and I’m quite frankly here to Negotiate a ceasefire between our two enterprises.

A ceasefire you laugh? Yes, I have noticed the obscene waste of resources you’re throwing into destroying that lump of rock down there, I would be impressed if the cost to achievement ratio wasn’t so blatantly stupid. Simply put, You will never destroy the Forum Bar and Grill, for at least one of us will survive, and another Phong’s Head will start up. You may win every battle, but the war will surpass all of our lifetimes.

So yes, I’m requesting speaking to you in person. No tricks, Hell, if I wanted you dead I would have used something much worse than TNT. And please, keep your marines off me, Those 3 bloody chunks final moments were far too humiliating. And don’t bother with your little matter Annihilation devices, I’m unarmed, or at least, Visibly Unarmed. Oh? I’m sure you don’t have some little tricks up your sleeve. I prefer to use natural and genetic modifications, And I certainly wouldn’t recommend removing all the carbon from my body.

If you accept I will see you within the hour, If you decide some tomfoolery, well, I can assure you that it won’t be a smooth ride. A Plan is useful until first contact with the enemy after all.”

The screen knocks off and the Ambassador relaxes, his intentions genuine. One of the Deadstar Continuum’s latest models. If they didn’t accept it was no great loss, they’d bankrupt themselves on ship insurance by the time they won…

Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill (gone)
 

NullAshton's Battle Jupiter's promptly vaporize the battlecruiser.

Meh, who cares about optimum range, you're still in range.

Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill (gone)
 

[/i]Somewhere far outside the reaches of the multiverse... The Angel of Death sits at the bar looking quite perky. The vast numbers of souls that the B&G war is consuming has not only restored but vastly increased her powers. She is now almost powerful enough to-[/i]
"No."
Angel looks up as Agent Zero plops down beside her.
"'No' what?"
"No Universal Domination."
"What about-"
"No Planetary Domination, no Solar Domination, no Galactic Domination, no Multiversal Domination. And especially no Domination of All That Is Was And Ever Will Be."
"But it'd be so easy! Look."

Angel holds up one hand, her palm facing upwards and the scene around Soll II shimers into existance. With one casual flick of her free hand all the ships in orbit vaporise simultaneously while every single organic ground troop drops dead and the non-organic troops blow away into dust.
"See? Easy."
"But it is not our way. Look around. Do you see any domination at all here?
Angel looks around. At the table behind her David is rendering one glorious picture after the other, while cackling insanely. Seated across from him is Kevin who seems to be dividing half his time between renderings and the other half trying to ignore the strange figure in the back who are hunched over their own computers. Suddenly Aaron bursts in from a back room and shouts "Eureka!" as he waves a printout over his head. He then takes a closer look at the paper. "No. That's not it at all." and goes back into his office.
"I suppose," Angel sighs.
"Now put it all back."
Angel waves her hand reluctantly and everything returns to the way it was. Except Strategia spends a few short moments of his existence with his cranium and posterior occupying each other's position. In this brief moment, he almost has a clever idea, but then the oversight is corrected and he looks about quickly before declaring:

"That wouldn't have happened if I had a bigger ship!"

Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill (gone)
 

Oookay, note to self, need better dimensional shields...

NullAshton enters the system in his new clawship dreadnaught, before a dimensional rupture forms in the center of his ship, with the claw ship moving like liquid into it. The dimensional rupture closes, and all is silent.