Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 

Don't post pad; believe me, there is nothing worth all the trouble in the officers mess. Well, except a few waitresses, free meals and drinks, and a couple more things.

Let's try a riddle perhaps. Any use of Google or similar devices is forbidden under the Law of the Race, and punishable by death. Any offender shall be sent to the Cantina to utter the Forbidden Words as many times as shall be needed for death to follow.

"The one who makes it doesn't use it.
The one who buys it doesn't want it.
The one who uses it doesn't know it.
What is it?"

Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 

A coffin?

Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 

Indeed. Hey, the riddle lasted at least fifteen minutes! Not bad.

Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 

I didn't see the riddle for a while http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 

The rules say no more that TWO posts in a row. Double posting is okay.

Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 

Double-posting is fine... hey, now that I am thinking on it, the rule does say "no more than two posts in a row", which should mean this thread was not to have more than one post. After all, all the posts in this thread could be said to be "in a row", and all posters have broken that rule. At least no punishment was mentioned when the law was passed, so this legal loophole should not be exploited. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

Feel free to ask a riddle yourself NullAshton, or some trivia, or some question, or start an explanation of quantum physics.

Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 

A person jumps off a 100-foot monument, and without the aid of any technological devices, survives. You may ask yes or no questions.

Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 

You probally want to ask one question per post, for more post padding http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 

I already do more than enough post padding with KOTH and my Dominions games, so I will not indulge in more post padding. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

We *are* talking about regular foot, equal to 12 inches, so 30.48 cm, aren't we? (Imperial measures have the annoying tendency of taking different values depending on the country)

Does it involve the use of a trampoline? (Unlikely, though who knows?)

Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 

Yes, its a regular foot. And no, it does not involve the use of a trampoline. Remember, no devices helped him to survive.

Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 

You only wrote "technological device" at first, so that could have excluded non-technological devices. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

Did it happen on Earth? Was the monument underwater? (Or rather, was the monument not fully underwater?)

I will probably stop now, if only to let other posters join in.

Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 

Yes, and yes... The monument was underwater... Man that was fast,

Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 

Another explanation is the monument was on its side...no one said it was upright! 100 ft monument could mean 100 feet LONG http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 

Hmmm...

Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 

From the wording of the original riddle, "a 100-foot monument" it could have also been a statue consisting of 100 sculptures of various people's feet. Assuming the sculptures only went up to the ankles, it could have even been giant-sized feet and still only been a couple meters tall. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 

The wording says nothing about his starting location, other than being on the monument. You are still "on the monument" when you are standing on the little toe of a statue that stands 100 ft high.

Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 

Okay, so I need to reword it...

Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 

Thanks! It is not, however, my own creation. Wish it was! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...es/biggrin.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...es/biggrin.gif

Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 

I have noticed that my avatar is hypnotic in sorts....

Must...

stop...

watching.......

Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 

There's an unfinished game of twenty questions a few pages back.

Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 

6300 posts Narf, Congrates.

Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 

Thank you.

*Waits for Fyron to make a comment about spam* http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 

/me beats Fyron to it:
http://cfa-www.harvard.edu/~mphelps/images/spam.JPG

Edit: Yes, that picture is an accusation aimed at you, Narf.

Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 

*Cue the vikings*

SPAM SPAM SPAM! WONDERFULL SPAM! GLORIOUS SPAM! SPAM SPAM SPAM! SPAAAAAMMMMM!

Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 

ITSTEHSPAM LOL
http://www.shrapnelcommunity.com/thr...threefrigs.PNG

Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 

Looks like you used the keyhole nubula as a background there TerranC http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif Good choice. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 

I don't really see how you can complain about spam in a topic that is FOR spam...

Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 

Go post padding! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...es/biggrin.gif

Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 

Dear Mr NullAhston,

It is our belief that Douglas was making a comment about a certain mouse with more than 6,300 posts, and so his comment was not aimed at this thread. Besides, Douglas himself did post on this thread more than a couple of times, hence contributing to the spamming tendencies displayed therein.

Therefore, I shall sue you NullAshton on the grounds of "spreading misconceptions about Douglas to tarnish his reputations". I will be the judge, your attorney, and the prosecutor; the whole jury is currently ill, so they won't be able to attend your trial.

Alternatively, I would not be against a settlement out of court. Bribe offers should be transmitted to my secretary, who will determine if they are high enough to warrant disturbing me; another bribe will be necessary to ensure the successful forwarding of your proposal. And did I say something about a "matter of conscience"?

Yours sincerely,
Your Drone Attorney.

Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 

Galatic Supreme Court
Sub Section 31
Petty Lawsuites Division

Presiding Judge: The Honorable Atrocities

CASE FILE: 12225285548895365224585214

PLAINTIF: Major General Alneyan
DEFENDANT: Corporal NullAhston

Order is hereby given that this case be dismissed without predudice.

This matter shall not be heard in appealed by a higher court.

All parties are to pay court costs of $10,000 Standard Galatic Funds to the court for wasting its time.

Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 

WOOHOO! Drone attornies! Good thing I signed up for Tagon's Toughs http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

*NullAshton procedes to systematically vaporize attorney drones at will, getting about 1 million standard alatic funds in the process.*

I appeal to a higher court. Looks like you're going to need more attorney drones http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...es/biggrin.gif

Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 

You do not appeal NullAshton. *I* appeal. Or both of us appeal (isn't that very uncommon?) at once.

I will have you court-martialed for disobeying the orders of a superior officer, mocking said officer, libelling said officer, and refusing to give way to said officer. All of those charges took place under martial law, making civil authorities irrelevant. Until the trial can take place, you are hereby demoted to the rank of Ensign and stripped of your citizenship in the EEE Empire.

And this time, I shall bring a regular attorney, not a drone. There are enough lawyers on those boards to do that... now to find one lawyer owing me a favour. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 

This matter shall not be heard in appeal by a higher court.

If you wish to continue this matter, you must refile out side of the Galatic Empires realm of influence. Say the Xaiti courts. (Laughs quitely to self.) Ya they will hear your case, over lunch. LOL.

Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 

Aw... Wait, I had citizenship to the EEE empire? Those are my mortal enemies!

Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 

The judgement of a civil court is void when martial law is applied; that, and we shall go to another court, in another state, another colony, or even another system if that's what we have to. I will learn the EEE tongue if that's what I must do to successfully sue NullAhston.

If it is not enough, we shall set a precedence by appealing to a lower court, thereby bypassing the previous ruling of the higher court. Or we shall merely alter the case just a little bit, making it a brand-new case... but my accusation of insubordination was already another case.

Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 

I asked them to give you citizenship, so that I could have the privilege of stripping you of *something*. Terran, Cryslonite and Abiddon authorities turned down my request, and the 173 Empires I asked before going to the EEE did not even hear me; so the EEE were my last hope, but they were nice enough to accede to my request.

Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 

You are hereby banned from refiling this case in this court. You are fined $10,000 billion credits for angering me, and your ship is hereby confiscated for violating planetary safe ship policies and laws. You inter planetary passport has also been confiscated and your arse has been thrown into jail until such time as I deem it shall be freed.

Care to contempt my court again Major General?

Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 

*pays the 10,000 to Atrocities.*
Your 10,000. Would you like another 400,000 from these attorney drones? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 

"Fichus juges, on devrait tous les envoyer dans le trou noir le plus proche." How nice it is to be able to express your anger in a language other than English, which is less likely to provoke the ire of a certain judge. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

For the overly curious, I merely said something like "Bloody judges, they should all be sent into the nearest black hole". French isn't obscure enough though: perhaps I should learn a barely known dialect just for those situations where I need to swear, but cannot do so overtly.

I, the remainder of Alneyan (the full body minus one arse), acknowledge the decision of the court, and shall go away now. Payment shall be transmitted to the court within 48 hours. Please keep the arse in jail, I will buy another one: the miracles of genetics and body engineering. You didn't mean "arse" as in "the whole body", did you? Of course not! You wouldn't throw me in jail after all.

Now, where did I put my remote control? Ah, here it is. *Presses the button labelled "DO NOT TOUCH, open fire with all batteries, keep away from children"* That place sure won't last long with twelve ripper beams and fifteen beams firing at will.

Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 

Suddenly, 8 planetary core mounted null-space cannons vaporize Alneyan's ship, thus causing no more damage.

Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 

Eight planetary-core null space weapons would very likely do a lot of damage to the place, and is, of course, overkill! Just fire one unmounted null space weapon, and you will not kill yourself in the process. Trust me on that one!

Oh, and if you still don't trust me, I have a little toy on me. They call that an "anti-matter device when lethal force is needed"; let's just call it "the BOOM of DOOM!". See, when I press that button here, you will have thirty seconds before the whole place (a base? A ship? A building?) is blown up to pieces. I will, of course, be killed in the process, but so you will. Resistance is futile: either you set me free, or I push the button and all hell breaks loose. The device is embedded in my own skin too, so there is no way to remove it. Don't try anything stupid!

I should thank the Agency for having created those last-ditch measures when capture is unavoidable. We shall see if they work as advertisted, and make you immune to torture, Vogon Poetry and MOO3.

Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 

Coudln't he just escape?

Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 

http://ned.ucam.org/~sdh31/misc/destroy.html

Strangely relavent.

Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 

Keep the antimatter away from Fyron!

Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 

Very interesting Narf; it looks like I will not be able to use my belowed Stellar Manipulation right now. How annoying.

Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 

Use a inverse graviton beam on a supermassive black hole, then push the resulting mass into hyperspace. Faster than light BLAM!

Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 

Submit it.

Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 

Hehe, only problem is, the existence of a 'hyperspace' is unknown. I guess you could find a way to send the blast through those other dimensions...

Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 

A warp point opens near the planet of the courts and spits out a standard Qwevlan Imperial Fleet (150 dreadnaughts plus support vessels). A message drone is then launched towards teh planet, transmitting on all frequencies....

"To all Parties of the NullAshton VS. Douglas case,

Both Parties in question are formally invited to appeal to any court of choice within the Qwevlan Imperium. Each Party in question wil be given diplomatic immunity for the time spent within Imperium space and provided with appropriate protection."

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 

8 NullSpace battlemoons bomb out of another warppoint opening near the planet NullAshton is on. Ashton boards them, and follows the dreadnaughts.