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Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Heh the cantinas turning into a Ship dealership!!
In this case.... ++++++++++++++++++++++++ 1 Battle Cruiser, good light-yearage, high shilds, needs armor, few dents as it was my previous veichle, metallic blue tint, Armed with Quantum Torpedoes and Anti Proton Beams. Fluffy dice and nodding churchill dog come as standard as with ejection seats and self destruct drives ++++++++++++++++++++++++ I'm open for offers http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif (Please note any living creature that attacks you either from the "inner sanctum" or the kitchen are covered under my terms and conditions) Dogscoff, how does dermots mother feel? 2 of her sons turned into cantina food!!! Actually what happened to her, the chinese fish market just off bejing??? RD'S Terms And Conditions I. Raging Deadstar cannot be held responsible for... 1.) Random acts of God, GrowlTigga or Dogscoff 2.) Any damage caused by pygmies, septic tank gods or barry... 3.) Dismemberment, Assimilation, Implosion or explosion... 4.) Any mistake between the ejector seat button and the self destruct... 5.) Any Damage caused by any reckless pilots (Puke) Heh theres a lot more too http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif Come to think about it, the ammount of cartoon violence and damage here in the cantina what liability has GT got??? Man is he covered against everything? then again he is a lawyer [ September 05, 2002, 18:40: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ] |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Off topic, I know, but I have to say this.
Blade II: "Are you human?" "Barely, I'm a lawyer." |
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Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Pfft.
Battlemoon, that is nothing. 5 Heavy Monitors can flatten that up. Oh that reminds me, I'm opening a custom shipyard. If you order now, you get the religious talisman for FREE! |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Super Monitors, bah. everything withers before a core-mounted "Sci-Fi Canon"
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Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
*Dofscoff springs from his chair and runs out of the bar. There he sees Barry, who has recently eaten one of the FBWs.
'Scoff politely asks Barry for his battlecruiser, and Barry brings it around for him, leaving the keys in the ignition and the engine running while Dogscoff Boards and takes control. He powers down the engine and charges the weapons systems. Barry begins to back off nervously, and Dogscoff swithces on the ship's external PA system. "Cartoon violence against any other occupant of the Cantina is acceptable, but the FBWs are *UNTOUCHABLE*." He quickly accesses data on T-rex physiology, in particular details of skin thickness and the layout of the digestive tract. He hands this data over to the ship's computer, which then sets the weapons' power levels to a level which will slice Barry open from groin to gullet without damaging the contents of his stomach. The weapon fires and barry's guts spill out onto the floor, depositting a rather soggy FBW, alive and in one piece. (Luckily Barry rarely remembers to chew when he's upset.) With that Dogscoff dismounts from his craft and escorts the grateful but smelly FBW back inside, where she is sympathetically received by the other patrons. Barry meanwhile is left to pick up his innards and find someone willing to sew him back up. |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Having viewed the horror of Barry eating a FBW, then Dog's rush to her rescue by slicing open Barry's abdomen and extricating the lovely FBW, Trajan steps forward with a coal shovel and begins to scoop up Barry's intestines. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif
Shovel-full by shovel-full Trajan manages to get Barry's guts back where they belong. Next, using a pop-rivet gun and some green duct tape, Trajan closes Barrys abdomin back up and re-adjusts his Red parking attendant vest so that nobody notices the recent incision. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...s/rolleyes.gif Barry thanks Trajan for the help, belches, then runs off to his valet post, whimpering in pain and sadness at having been recently gutted like a fish. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif [ September 06, 2002, 16:39: Message edited by: Trajan ] |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Raginng Deadstar tows his Light Cruiser out of parking lot, walks over to the Jraenar who signs the contract, unfortuantly puts a dent in another persons ship with its tail and mumbles as it climbs on board and flies off, leaving Raging Deadstar to notice barry and his makeshift repairs! Feeling a pang of sympathy for the loyal parking valet Rd drags a bag of bill gates clones, along with a few George bush Versions and deposits them next to barry, whilst getting out some medical equipment. A FBW wanders up and looks rather worried, RD flashes a medical degree and she wanders off, thank god you can buythose degrees....
After many hours of work, Barry stands up, now complete with Cybernetic implants in his eyes to scan potential criminals or salesmen, armour plated skin under his coat and now a metal collar, which when barry goes to attack staff or regulars a clone of barry's choice will emerge from an outhouse to distract him. Raging Deadstar is thanked by a professional singing dinosaur, an accomplishment that will surely be listed as an achievement on his emperor application cv. Heads into cantina, smiles at taz and gives him the latest free smaples (about 5 kegs) of the new drink RD's been brewing. Walks out with a keg of anything thathe could find, any drink in the cantina must be good, heads outside and sits down next to a whimpering barry and yet again feels sorry him begins to pet his head while giving him alcohol. "Just cos dogscoff blew you up dosen't mean he hates you, i mean i have that feeling that he's about to bash me with a large hammer half the time! He hates us all equally" And so begins a night of discussion about beer, fbw's, female dinosaurs (though i made sure he didn't go to deep into that http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif ) and dogscoffs favourite cartoon violence scenes. Which eneded with barry singing a great performance, well great considering he had his intestines blow out! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
dumbluck stares out of the taxi window as it passes by the Cantina. There, sitting in the parking lot amidst several dozen other ships of every imaginable shape, all bearing "For Sale" signs, sits his personal Light Cruiser. Every day he curses himself for abandoning it there in his paniced flight. But now, all seems quiet once again. It is time to attempt to retrieve that which was left behind.
dumbluck orders the cab to stop by the side of the road, pays his toll, and exits the small escort class vessel. With a sputter from its antique, first generation Ion Engines, the taxi rattles off into the night. dumbluck turns to the task at hand: how to retrieve his spacecraft from the confines of the Cantina without losing what is left of his wits in the process. Again, dumbluck chooses to rely on stealth. As he creeps thru the gate into the outskirts of the lot, not much cover presents itself. On his Last visit, this did not present a problem, for the large dinosaur had been sleeping. Unfortunately for dumbluck, that is not the case tonight. Just as he reaches the first cluster of vehicles (all of which seem to be for sale), dumbluck is pLastered with a blinding spotlight. At the same time, an automated voice begins it's sales pitch. "Greetings, patron. As you can see, this sleek and stylish Battlecruiser comes equiped with the latest in Quantum Torpedo firepower...." Of coarse, all this commotion instantly catches the dinosaur's attention, and just one sniff with it highly evolved sense of smell tells it that a stranger is about. Since even in a dinosaur's primative mind 1 + 1 = 2, the dinosaur advances with great rapidity (relative to our diminuative hero) on dumbluck's position. dumbluck quickly moves off to hide behind another vessel, this one a dreadnought. But as he approaches it, the dreadnought initiates it's own automated sales pitch. As this occurs again and again, it allows the dinosaur to easily track dumbluck's movements. Soon, all semblence of stealth is abandoned as the cat and mouse movements quickly turn in the cat's (or in this case, the dinosaur's) favor. But all is not lost, for our intrepid hero still has one key advantage: brainpower. And so by carefully choosing his route, dumbluck manages to stay ahead of the dinosaur, although not by much. Finally, dumbluck reaches his LC, much out of breath and pumped full of adrenaline. Just as he begins to punch in the entryway access code, the dinosaur finally catches sight of him. With a roar, it charges. Fortunately, dumbluck left an emergency automated liftoff command series in the flight computer, and he makes good use of it this day. Before the dinosaur has taken 10 steps (which is a considerable distance, nonetheless), the LC is airborn and out of reach. As dumbluck slips into the command seat and brings the controls to manual flight, a Fluffy Bunny opens the door to the cantina in order to see what all the commotion is about. Seeing this, the dinosaur eases it's fuming frustrations with a light snack. [ September 06, 2002, 12:59: Message edited by: dumbluck ] |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Ragnarok pulls up in his new Cruiser Attack ship and jumps out then starts to walk into the Cantina. But just before he opens the door he spots barry sitting over in the parking lot corner looking all depressed and lonely playing with his buttons on his jacket and also pondering his new injurys that he just received. Ragnarok feel sorry for the big lug and walks over to him and says "Hey Barry, how's it goin? You look like you've had a rough couple days. It also looks like you need a vacation from it all. What do you say big guy?" Barry just rolls his eyes up to meet ragnaroks eyes and shrugs his shoulders (does he have any?) Ragnarok then hands him 200,000 minerals and a plain ticket to his choice spot, then says: "You've been doing this valet stuff for how long now? And have you ever received a vacation? Well here you go pal, take this stuff and take a couple days off. those minerals should Last you at least a couple days. Wait... I think I got something else in my ship...hole on"... Ragnarok jumps back in his ship and starts going through the glove compartment. "Ah ha!" he says; "found it"... he then walks back to barry and hands him a one night pass to a T-ReXXX bar upstate. "Here, enjoy this big guy, and have a good time." barry looks back at ragnarok and just gives him a smile and a smerk that ragnarok will never forget. Ragnarok then walks into the Cantina with a big smile on his face knowing he just did a good deed. He orders a couple beers then gets in his ship and takes off at ludicris speeds...
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Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
aaaaaaah we care so much for ol' barry. We better watch him, we seriously don't need an over excessive population of singing dinosaurs!
Raging Deadstar Walks back in, avoids dogscoff mainly because he's sitting there stroking a cricket bat on his lap likesome evil director. RD thinks "I'll let some else be the hero today". Decides to have a look around the cantina and heads into the games room. *Moments later RD runs out* Thats the Last time i go in there, air hockey between regulars is lethal, no wonder geoschmo lost his head so often!!!!! Quietly sits down, activates his hologram pc and begins creating his latest company dreadnought, hmmm stealth armour for business deals? i don't see why not! and maybe a few torpedoes, ooooooooh and a few point defenses to take out salesmen with useless contrcts Suddenly RD Has a very bad thought "HANG ON!!!! WHATS RAGNAORK DOING WITH A PASS TO A DINOSAUR POLE DANCING JOINT????" RD then remembers what too much alcohol can to do to people, or friends when u've drank too much http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif [ September 07, 2002, 10:54: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ] |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Yes I had that pass from having too much alcohol one night and my friends gave it to me and a gag. They said that's the only kind of woman I'll ever be able to get. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...s/rolleyes.gif But I thought Barry would use it before I would. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif
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Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Hey... from the way you lot talk anyone would think I was some kind of violent psychopath bent on creatively mutilating anyone who gives me half an excuse.
Is that what you all think? Really? I'd be really hurt if it was. And when I get hurt... *Dogscoff produces a can of experimental cellular disassembly nano-bots, and everyone gets nervous as he plays with the ringpull. [ September 09, 2002, 13:40: Message edited by: dogscoff ] |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Hmmm.. I am pleased to note that whilst I am away, Dogscoff takes up my mantle as originator-in-chief of all unprovoked, pyschopathic, unnecessary violence in the cantina.
Keep up the good work Scoffo. |
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Hey! Welcome back. Do you need an update on what's been going on, or are just going to spend 1/2 and hour reading all the old Posts..?
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Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Scoffo, an update will be good. I have just arrived back in the office to find, get ready for this, that I am being shipped out to Kuala Lumpur for 2 weeks on a review contract.
I just left there yesterday morning AAAAAAHHHHHH |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Hmm, maybe Dumbluck would benefit from a brain transplant. I'm sure we could find some willing donors around here.
Worst comes to worst I could always have one of my undersea minions sacrificed and their brain given over to the cause. |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
And you think that would better the situation?!
Oh, and the person who lost his keys to his collectors-item-spaceship was me. Now I have to buy another ship as a replacement. A good ship is hard to fing these days. Has someone got a nice ship. Preferably with fluffy dice on the back mirror. |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Dogscoff, if you are talking about dumbluck, dont you mean a brain implant?
Right, so over the Last 2 weeks, nothing out of order or unusual has happened (I liked the giant squid and the SMURF tank episode and as for the bottom humour!!!) My Last couple of weeks has been a hedonistic paradise of sultry palm girded beaches, gin & tonic, bikini clad beauties, more gin & tonic, excellent cuisine, booze, great accomodation, more booze, no americans, gin & tonic, orang utangs, bacardi & coke, gibbons and civet cats, cocktails with umbrellas and bits of pineapple stuck to the side, watersports, proboscis monkeys, lots of Tiger beer etc I am just SO glad to be back at work |
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In light of the massive galaxy-wide success of Kick-o-matic Bill Gates autocloners (and the predicted sales figues of the planned George Bush Clones, Jean Marie le Pen clones and so on) I have been awarded a massive bonus by Tigg-Scoff plc. Having bought my company cruiser outright, I can afford to give it to Timstone with cash left over for a little something I've had my eye on ever since I Last spoke to Puke: http://www.sandman43.fsnet.co.uk/ima..._WorldShip.gif My very own battlemoon. Put down a hefty deposit and got the rest on credit. It's over 3000km in diameter and it has it's own subterranean ocean & laboratory for me to breed new strains of giant sea monsters, a 5000 cubic kilometre core-mount brewery (the continent-sized horns are all beer storage) a huge array of hideous weaponry (of course) and various other little luxuries, including a personal accomodation suite the size of Brazil and an adjoining area as big as Chile with temples, bars and other attractions designed to attract wandering Valkyries. Oh, and you should hear the stereo... Incidentally, the monkey has also been given a hefty bonus for his participation in the Gates autoclone trials, and apparently plans to buy something a little extravagant of his own. Probably involving peanuts. [ September 09, 2002, 15:10: Message edited by: dogscoff ] |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Growltigga, as proprietor maximus of the cantina, and as CEO emeritus of Tigg-Scoff PLC, hereby awards his faithful and productive minion Dogscoff with a hefty bonus but reminds said menial that senior middle management IS NOT entitled to Battlemoon class vessels., whether in a work related or private capacity
Only senior management is allowed to operate anything larger than a battleship. By the way, I have just developed a new olympic sport of swingball to be used for the Bill Gates/George Bush and Eminem clones, the difference being that the eLastic for the swingball (which is actually a chainsaw) is one of Dermot's tentacles!! [ September 09, 2002, 16:11: Message edited by: Growltigga ] |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Welcome back GT, I see your excursion into headhunter country was most fruitful and involved numerous chances to imbib upon the local populous beverages. I hope the beach bunnies you mentioned in those small, tight, uniforms were not the type that were hanging from one of the locals head poles http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif Indeed Dogscoff behaved quite decently in regards to upholding your tradition of mayhem and cartoon violence within the cantina along with the other members, The pygmies were most intrusive within the inner sanctum but they were dispatched most pleasantly within the confines of said location, Taz had to hire some outside cleaning companies to cleanse the walls, floor and ceiling of their left behind debris after their demise, Now if only those hanging freshners could be equally addressed, the inner sanctum will once again be the place where one can enjoy the solitude of righeous contemplation while engrossed upon the duties of ones anatamy..... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif
PSS(ssshhhh, Like El Scof said, do not, I say again, do not in any way mention ("THE ONION") just some ideas Mac [ September 09, 2002, 18:13: Message edited by: mac5732 ] |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Just to inject some UNIX humour and current events into the Cantina:
Seen on a T-Shirt in Washington, DC: "rm -r /bin/laden" We now return you to your regularly scheduled cartoon violence... |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
you may purchase such a shirt, and other geek paraphanalia, at www.thinkgeek.com
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Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Ummm... update. Tell me if I miss anything ppl...
We have updated the auto clone killer to (mostly http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif ) ignore the new Tigg-scoff stress relief product, which is a Bill Gates clone-o-matic in the corner, near the door. It automatically replaces the tethered Gates clone which can be violently assaulted for a small fee. (about 5 minerals per hour, I think.) This feature is staffed by a trained monkey who takes fees and tethers replacement clones as they arrive. Another new installation is a mini resource converter change machine in the corner, which will take any organics or radioactives (for example a dismembered gates clone, T-Rex poo or Cajun fried tribble wings) and turn them into minerals. For a conVersion fee, of course. There was a little trouble in the gents toilets when someone installed a few hundred pine scented thingies. The resident pygmy worshippers of the Porcelain God got upset, and eventually had to be brutally massacred. These things happen. The Fecal deity himself made an appearance but was soon bought off. Everyone's trying to sell their ship at the moment for some reason, except Puke who just bought a vomit- themed battlemoon. Oh yeah, and I summoned a 300 metre long giant squid (Dermott's big brother) to help out when someone locked themsleves out of their cruiser. After opening the cruiser the only way he knew how and then destroying half the city in the obligatory Godzilla-style rampage, Ruraigh was reunited with his brother courtesy of the city's elite Sea Monster Urban Response Force (SMURF). Finally, Barry committed the ultimate no-no and ate (ie ingested http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...s/rolleyes.gif ) a FBW. A little inpromtu laser surgery sorted that little situation out, and now Barry and the FBW are both recovering nicely. Barry's especially happy now that he has a ticket to get into the T-ReXXX dino strip club upstate. Oh, also: Atrocities has lost a cute cuddly razor sharp man eating psycho-kitten somewhere in the Cantina, and whatever you do, don't mention The Onion. *A trap door in the ceiling opens above Dogscoff's head and he is inexplicably buried by falling onions... [ September 09, 2002, 12:32: Message edited by: dogscoff ] |
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Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
what's so wrong with the ONION?
If you live where there is a chili's near you, you ever try one of those desert flower ONION appetizers? I thought some people used ONION to get substances out of their eyes. It's hard to imagine an ONION-prejudiced world, but here you all are, sterotyping ONIONs because of a stupid satirical faux-paper called the ONION. Yeesh, what a bunch of ONIONs. |
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after the trapdoor in the ceiling opens, burying TerranC under a delugh of [noun censored], pukes conscripted army of miniturized FBW clones parades out and hauls TerranC off like Gulliver being tormented by the lilliputians.
Shortly later, a beer-battered, deep-fried, flayed, "TerranC Blossom" is brought fourth from the kitchen. The TCB blinks inexplicably, and the local [noun censored] conisoures all help themselves to a slice. "hmmm, too gammey. probably hasnt been hung long enough" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Through the muffled sounds from up above of much thrashing and knashing of teeth, one can just make out the insane gibberish of dumbluck's irreconcilably twisted mentality. And if one listens carefully, and pays close attention, small bits of actual words, sometimes even phrases, can be made out. Among them:
"Dinosaur..." "Got my cruiser back..." "Pretty, talking bunnies..." "Big Gun..." "Got my cruiser back..." "Bang, Bang!..." If inquiries are made, the FBWs will just shake their heads saddly and mumble something along the lines of, "We had to lock him up in the attic. Poor guy, must be all the stress of running an empire by yourself..." |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
TIMMY
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Hmm, smells funny in here,
GrowlTigga must be back. Probalby stepped in something out there while playing with his counsings the Oraangatangs. |
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And I like to have my eyebrows back, s.v.p. |
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Ragnarok walks into the cantina and see thats Terran C has already sprung the trap door for saying onions.. So he wonders around, looks around the room, the runs around like a maniac yelling "ONION ONION ONION ONION!!!" Before the trap door resets again. Glad that he accomplished this he walks past a couple booths and says a final time... "Onion!" then a trap door opens above him and covers him in none other then onions... he gets up wondering how he didn't know about the 2ND trap door that was set up.
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BTW, TerranC, I didn't use babelfish for my foreign lingo, I just speak them very badly. Th funny thing is the translations you got from babelfish are off enough to be quite amusing Finally, given the cantina's new predilection for cascading dangerous amounts of fruit and vegetables on the heads of people specifying a particular phylum or sub-genus of said flora, can I please remind everyone that on no account should the words 'SHALLOT', 'MANGOSTEEN', 'RAMBUTAN', 'DURIAN', 'COURGETTE', 'KOLRABI' or 'GOLDEN DELICIOUS' be used in the cantina, I do not want the dancefloor looking like a tropical fruit salad. Gryphin, in honour of my trip to Borneo, you will be happy to hear that I have hired about 20 orang-utangs as catering staff. ..and yes, orang-utang "poo" really does smell bad [ September 10, 2002, 08:56: Message edited by: Growltigga ] |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Hmm, everytime someone says "Onion", they get showered in onions.
Beer! *Dogscoff looks up hopefully. Naked Women! ...nothing. Damn. Must only work for onions. *Realising he's just said the "O" word 3 times, dogscoff hastily puts up his anti-vegetable steel umbrella. A trapdoor opens beneath his feet and drops him into a huge pit of onions. The umbrella falls down after him and lands, Wil-E-Coyote style, on his dazed head. [ September 10, 2002, 09:18: Message edited by: dogscoff ] |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Growltigga is sitting in his palatial office, happily running through the latest quarter-end accounts for Tigg-Scoff PLC which, naturally, are showing a healthy increase.
"Damn" thinks the mighty cat, "those Americans can really drink alot of this carbonated piss we send over there and beating up Bill Gates clones has become THE bar-sport for techno-nerds everywhere" Growltigga continues to look through the post and comes across an envelope marked "Phase Distortion Plane Shifting Device - Free Trial". Reading through the bumff, GT discovers that by way of a week long free trial, a phase distortion plane shift device has been activated in the cantina, with the effect that 'things' get moved randomly around. Growltigga is sitting there pondering on the infinite and the potential comic mayhem that such a device could cause when suddenly, out of the office ceiling, a rain of decent british beer falls upon the cat's head, closely followed by a bevy of naked FBW's. Growltigga grins and thinks 'hmmm, beer covered totty on tap, it just doesn't get as good as this (even better than Geo's tied up with Lucy Lui and a tub of crunchy peanut butter fantasy). The curtain drops and all that can be heard are slurping sounds, hiccups, giggles and a trumpet going 'mwa mwa mwa mwaaaaaaaa' |
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Oh yeah, now I remember! Thanks for eluminating my memory.
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Not the Mama!
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Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
hmmm.. please move this strange and disturbing reminiscence to another thread. That sort of talk is Banned in the cantina
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Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Raging Deadstar pulls up and notices a tiger striped battlemoon floating above the cantina. Quickly Runs in and see's that GT's back, finally i don't have to worry about dogscoff blowing up barry! And his range of comedy violence! Phew...
*dogscoff smashes a cricket bat on RD's head* Raging Deadstar recovers and looks around! NOOOO Tomorrow is gonna be 11th september, that means everyone will be all dull and upset! I mean just cos its MY BIRTHDAY tomorrow! (Note: i'm being serious for once!) Many thoughts wander in through Raging Deadstars semi concious head. 1. Was it wise mentioning my birthday here??? Why do i feel scared by the ammount of comedy violence that i will be inflicted with! 2. How come I never got any money out of my clones???? I swear dogscoff ripped me off! I WANT LOYALTIES Lol, i would sue him but tigga's a lawyer, oh well maybe i can get a free tab or something. Congratulates Taz on his break and gives him the latest shipment of prototype drinks to consume, all that can be heard is a Large Transporter backing up "Beeeeeep, Beeeeeeep, Beeeeeep" RD gives Taz the keys and wishes him good luck on his break, he'll enjoy it as every cargo space is topped up with alcohol Raging Deadstar walks back in and slowly but surely sneaks up to the GHB and begins to rewire it. "Hmm red to blue, yellow to green, whats this??? Safety protocal??? who needs this?...." Shuts the box, notcing that everyone is waiting to see the results. I so feel sorry for the next fool to walk in..... Hmm looks at his todo list. Maybe become Tigga Scoff PLC's supplier, i need some one to market my new Version of the GHB, i gave the cantina a prototype! Deadstar Industries business has been slow http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif Anyway, i have William Shakespere clones (for those who hate english) and a new clone a boss kit, for employees who really want to beat up their superiors! I'm sure these'll be huge sellers [ September 10, 2002, 18:48: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ] |
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Hm, GT has lost his ability to read my misspellings. “counsings the Oraangatangs” Should be “cousins the Orangutans”
Just wonder what you stepped in while playing with your cousins. |
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Glad to see your enjoying yourself! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif Tesco, I may regret this but what about TIMMY? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...s/confused.gif |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
beer covered totty? I like it here
[ September 10, 2002, 12:19: Message edited by: nippy the magical duck ] |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Taz, you are dead right there, you better help me as my office is awash with beer covered blart, come up, there is enough for everyone but bring your own snorkel.
As you have done such a sterling job since I went away, and because you are my favourite antipodean furry homocidal maniac (other than Skipster the rapid maneating bush kangaroo), please have a large bonus and take a break What is TIMMY? |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Don't you all watch cartoons?! Well not enough anyway.
I don't remember wich cartoon it was, but it was always: "We're gonna need another Timmy!" When they said that, Timmy died, just like Kenny dies in every SP episode. |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Gryphin, saw the misspelling but felt too ashamed on your behalf to mention it. Whatever I stepped in whilst watching orang utangs, macaques, proboscis monkeys and gibbons didn't look as silly as you.
Raging Deadstar, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR RD, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU..... Growltigga pushes the special red button kept behind the bar for just such circumstances, a steel mesh net falls down from the ceiling on RD, as he struggles under the net, a taser is shot into his happy sacks and 10,000 volts put through it to, ahem, subdue him, the net is hauled up into and through the ceiling of the cantina by a very large hoist operated by Barry. Barry then sets the crane on fast-rotate mode and watches in glee as RD spins round and round and round on the end of the cable randomly hitting any mountains, walls, buildings or obstructions in the way. That is what is called the bumps in England. When RD is let loose and is quietly vomiting on the ground, all the regulars of the cantina are given a hard wooden or metal implement of their choice and are allowed to whallop RD in the wobbely dangely bits for half and hour Finally, bruised, battered but strangely happy, RD is given a large cake, as he blows out the candles, a large Tiger springs out of it and bites him very hard on the bottom before running off. "Ah" thinks GT, "I wondered where cousin Maurice got to" |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Dogscoff asks three of the FBWs to "give Raging Deadstar a birthday he'll neever forget." They immediately strip down to their lingerie and advance upon him, one carrying a set of handcuffs and a cattle prod, another holds a greased ferret while the third carries a box of over-ripe mangoes and a bicycle pump. They take RD into one of the Cantina's corner booths where the girls carry out Dogscoff's instructions to the letter.
[ September 11, 2002, 09:55: Message edited by: dogscoff ] |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Hmmmm.. its my birthday next week and I quite fancy the idea of that Dogscoff..
Can I bring my own, ahem, rubber, ballbearings, swarmfega, marmite and labrador called Purdey? |
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