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-   -   The Race to Insanity and Beyond! (http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/showthread.php?t=22344)

NullAshton March 4th, 2005 01:18 PM
Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 
Dancing kirbys!
<(''<)
(>'')>

Strategia_In_Ultima March 4th, 2005 01:28 PM
Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 
"I hate Kirbys."

Strategia pulls out a WWI-looking rifle, aims and fires. The sound of the shot is enough to make NullAshton drop unconsciously to the ground. One of the two kirbys, the one that got hit, has been splattered all over the forum. Purple drops drip from all over the place. Where the kirby stood, all that remains is a large smoking scorchmark, where the floor is slightly dented. As Strategia cocks back the slide and loads another bullet, the second kirby makes for the door.

Strategia aims carefully and fires again. NA, who has just regained consciousness, drops to the floor again. The second kirby has its tentacle almost on the door handle when the bullet hits. In slow-motion, it can be seen how the bullet creates a crater in the kirby and how it explodes.

"Good riddance."

Purple drops still drip from the walls. Unseen, they crawl to shadowy corners, where they pull together to form more kirbys.

NullAshton March 4th, 2005 01:32 PM
Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 
Hmmmm... Target practice!

NullAshton takes out his EM laser rifle, and sets it to automatic fire. He then sends a hail of blue rays at the kirbys, vaporizing them.

There, no more kirbies.

NullAshton March 4th, 2005 01:34 PM
Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 
Or is there?

Strategia_In_Ultima March 4th, 2005 01:43 PM
Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 
"I can do better."

As the kirbys start forming again, Strategia - seemingly out of nowhere - pulls out a large Gatling gun and places it on a tripod mount. The first kirbys start racing for the door just as the bullet belt has been pulled through the chamber.

Strategia open fire. An endless stream of large-caliber bullets slices away at the forum in front of the barrels. The kirbys explode one by one, screaming wildly. Strategia targets the purple drops, so that they too explode into even tinier droplets. Eventually, the room is filled with an aerosol of purple droplets unable to cling together because of the relentless Gatling gun fire. Then, the room starts to clear. The unbelievably sharpened bullets the Gatling gun fires (thay have been ultra-sharpened using an advanced subquantum laser. The very tip of the bullet is a quantum sliced so that it has a sharp tip. The bullets tear at the fabric of spacetime as they pass.) start cutting down the quanta in the atomic nuclei of the kirby drops. Eventually, no more purple haze (Jimi Lives!) is present in the room.

NA; "Wow... how did you do that?"
Strategia: "Practice."
NA: "I mean... where did you get that awesome weapon?"
Strategia: "Ever heard of nanofactories?"
NA: "No."
Strategia: "Read The Cassini Division. Only these babies have a nanominiaturized supply of hypercompressed raw material for sheer endless construction of whatever you need."

Strategia_In_Ultima March 4th, 2005 02:28 PM
Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 
This will be the 805th post. Going smoothly, people!

NullAshton March 4th, 2005 02:40 PM
Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 
Stop making me say stuff!

NullAshton March 4th, 2005 02:44 PM
Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 
And I use nano-precision technology all the time, in creating my carbon nano-tube technology. A carbon nano-tube welded wrong, and my interlaced carbon armor is useless. One energy blast to the area, and the whole thing detonates.

Strategia_In_Ultima March 4th, 2005 02:52 PM
Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 
As NA puts on his armor to demonstrate, Strategia quietly slips in a pulse-grenade.

NA: "...What?"
Strategia: ""Nothing."

The pulse-grenade's low-power charge detonates. The carbon nanotube armor..... well, detonates with it. Bits of NA are splattered all over the forum.

NA: "Damn! There's too much of me to share my Sergeant rank!"

NullAshton March 4th, 2005 02:54 PM
Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 
SEE? there you go again! And I wasn't putting on my armor to demenstrate... And I wouldn't use that word...

NullAshton March 4th, 2005 02:59 PM
Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 
And the armor would redirect the energy of that attack to the other side of the armor. Energy blasts would seem to travel through me http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

narf poit chez BOOM March 4th, 2005 03:22 PM
Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 
Quote:
NullAshton said:
Here's some portraits for my race's ships. It's brighter now, yay! Tell me what you think!
Pretty good, drone needs a little more light.

Strategia_In_Ultima March 4th, 2005 03:47 PM
Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 
Erm... I slipped it in with your armor NA. It's inside your armor. And you said it yourself: the armor would detonate if just a single buckytube was fixed incorrectly, and I think I may have snapped a few when I slipped in that pulse grenade...

And I'm sorry for the D-word. What word would you use, then?

Alneyan March 4th, 2005 04:06 PM
Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 
Quote:
EaX said:
well i don't have pacience to destroy a Juggernaut with my fighter.
The same happened to me the first time i played that mission and with those shivan devices, i was near it when it exploded if my memory don't fails the hull of my ship was on 10% more or less http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/frown.gif
It is actually quick to bring the Juggernaut down: I think it took me about two hours (so 15 minutes with X8 speed), but reloading is what really takes a lot of time (you could speed up all the way to X64 otherwise). I am not sure if I had one or two banks of Trebuchets though. That was kind of silly to give that much firepower to fighters: if fighters have longer-ranged weapons than capital ships, and are able to lay waste to any vessel from afar, what is the point of using capital ships?

If you merely want the credit without doing any hard work, just fire a couple of missiles at the Juggernaut in High Noon. If no other ship damages the Juggernaut, you will be credited with killing that Juggernaut. It does look nice in your kill roster too.

NullAshton March 4th, 2005 04:27 PM
Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 
The carbon nano-tubes in their final form will not affect the armor if a few are broken after the machining process.I also always wear that armor http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif It's low profile http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif Also, machining errors would not be as noticable on personel armor, but rather on ship armor, where the nano-tubes redirect the energy into redirection chambers which slowly bleed off the energy into the shields and weapons systems.

NullAshton March 4th, 2005 04:28 PM
Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 
And its best if you let the other people control their own actions, instead of you controlling it for them http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

Strategia_In_Ultima March 4th, 2005 04:35 PM
Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 
Quote:
NullAshton said:
And I use nano-precision technology all the time, in creating my carbon nano-tube technology. A carbon nano-tube welded wrong, and my interlaced carbon armor is useless. One energy blast to the area, and the whole thing detonates.
And you expect people to write one sentence at a time, spoken by themselves only?



I rest my case, Your Honor.

NullAshton March 4th, 2005 04:49 PM
Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 
Yes, I do. Its noobish to make other people say stuff that they would never say. That gattling gun wasn't really all that amazing http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

Strategia_In_Ultima March 4th, 2005 04:58 PM
Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 
Oh whatever. I give up.

NullAshton March 4th, 2005 05:00 PM
Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 
Just do something, let other people respond. Don't do something, and make other people's responses http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

kerensky March 4th, 2005 06:56 PM
Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 
<font color="orange"> This forum is really jumping fast. It gained 40 whole posts since I was on yesterday! </font>

kerensky March 4th, 2005 06:56 PM
Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 
Obligatory second post....

narf poit chez BOOM March 4th, 2005 06:58 PM
Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 
Extremly funny thing from the Baen forums:
Quote:

Subject: H2G2 Entry - Australia
Author: Robert Cox
Date: 04 Mar 2005 08:29 AM
Credit goes to Orinoco at the BBC's H2G2 site.
****

/Australia/

Australia is a very confusing place, taking up a large amount of the
bottom half of the planet. It is recognisable from orbit because of many
unusual features, including what at first looks like an enormous bite
taken out of its southern edge; a wall of sheer cliffs which plunge deep
into the surrounding sea. Geologists assure us that this is simply an
accident of geomorphology and plate tectonics, but they still call it
the 'Great Australian Bight' proving that not only are they covering up
a more frightening theory, but they can't spell either.

The first of the confusing things about Australia is the status of the
place. Where other land masses and sovereign lands are classified as
either continent, island, or country, Australia is considered all three.
Typically, it is unique in this.

/Wildlife/

The second confusing thing about Australia are the animals. They can be
divided into three categories: poisonous, odd, and sheep. It is true
that of the ten most poisonous arachnids on the planet, Australia has
nine of them. Actually, it would be more accurate to say that of the
nine most poisonous arachnids, Australia has all of them. However, there
are curiously few snakes, possibly because the spiders have killed them
all. But even the spiders won't go near the sea (see below). Any
visitors should be careful to check inside boots (before putting them
on) under toilet seats (before sitting down) and generally everywhere
else. A stick is very useful for this task.

Strangely, it tends to be the second class of animals (the odd) that are
more dangerous. The creature that injures the most people each year is
the common wombat. It is nearly as ridiculous as its name, and spends
its life digging holes in the ground, in which it hides. During the
night it comes out to eat worms and grubs.

The wombat injures people in two ways: first, the animal is
indestructible. Digging holes in the hard Australian clay builds muscles
that outclass Olympic weightlifters. At night, they often wander the
roads. Semi-trailers (road trains) have hit them at high speed, with all
nine wheels on one side, and this merely makes them very annoyed. They
express this by snorting, glaring, and walking away. Alas, to smaller
cars, the wombat becomes an asymmetrical high-speed launching pad, with
results that can be imagined, but not adequately described.

The second way the wombat injures people relates to its burrowing
behaviour. If a person happens to put their hand down a wombat hole, the
wombat will feel the disturbance and think 'Ho! My hole is collapsing!'
at which it will brace its muscled legs and push up against the roof of
its burrow with incredible force, to prevent its collapse. Any
unfortunate hand will be crushed, and attempts to withdraw will cause
the wombat to simply bear down harder. The unfortunate will then bleed
to death through their crushed hand as the wombat prevents him from
seeking assistance. This is considered the third most embarrassing known
way to die, and Australians don't talk about it much.

At this point, we would like to mention the platypus, estranged relative
of the mammal, which has a duck-bill, otter's tail, webbed feet, lays
eggs, detects its aquatic prey in the same way as the electric eel, and
has venemous barbs attached to its hind legs, thus combining all
'typical' Australian attributes into a single improbable creature.

/History/

The last confusing thing about Australia is the inhabitants. First, a
short history: some time around 40,000 years ago, some people arrived in
boats from the north. They ate all the available food, and a lot of them
died. The ones that survived learned respect for the balance of nature,
man's proper place in the scheme of things, and spiders. They settled
in, and spent a lot of the intervening time making up strange stories.

Then, around 200 years ago, Europeans arrived in boats from the north.
More accurately, European convicts were sent over, with a few deranged
and stupid people in charge. They tried to plant their crops in Autumn
(failing to take account of the reversal of the seasons when moving from
the top half of the planet to the bottom), ate all their food, and a lot
of them died. About then the sheep arrived, and have been treasured ever
since.

It is interesting to note here that the Europeans always consider
themselves vastly superior to any other race they encounter, since they
can lie, cheat, steal, and litigate (marks of a civilized culture, they
say) - whereas all the Aboriginals can do is happily survive being left
in the middle of a vast red-hot desert, equipped with a stick.

Eventually, the new lot of people stopped being Europeans on an extended
holiday and became Australians. The changes are subtle, but deep, caused
by the mind-stretching expanses of nothingness and eerie quiet, where a
person can sit perfectly still and look deep inside themselves to the
core of their essence, their reasons for being, and the necessity of
checking inside your boots every morning for fatal surprises. They also
picked up the most finely-tuned sense of irony in the world, and the
Aboriginal gift for making up stories. Be warned.

And then...

There is also the matter of the beaches.

Australian beaches are simply the nicest and best in the entire world.
Although anyone actually venturing into the sea will have to contend
with sharks, stinging jellyfish, stonefish (a fish which sits on the
bottom of the sea, pretends to be a rock, and has venomous barbs
sticking out of its back that will kill you just from the pain) and
surfboarders. However, watching a beach sunset is worth the risk of all
of these.

/Aussies/

As a result of all this hardship, dirt, thirst, and wombats, you would
expect Australians to be a dour lot. Instead, they are genial, jolly,
cheerful, and always willing to share a kind word with a stranger,
unless they are an American. Faced with insurmountable odds and
impossible problems, they smile disarmingly, and reach for a stick.
Major engineering feats have been performed with sheets of corrugated
iron, string, and mud.

Alone of all the races on earth, they seem to be free from the 'Grass is
greener on the other side of the fence' syndrome, and roundly proclaim
that Australia is, in fact, the other side of that fence. They call the
land 'Oz', 'Godzone' (a verbal contraction of 'God's Own Country') and
'Best bloody place on earth, bar none, strewth'. The irritating thing
about this is they may be right.

There are some traps for the unsuspecting traveller, though. Do not
under any circumstances suggest that the beer is imperfect, unless you
are comparing it to another kind of Australian beer. Do not wear a
Hawaiian shirt. Religion and politics are safe topics of conversation
(Australians don't care too much about either) but sport is a minefield.
The only correct answer to 'So, howdya' like our country, eh?' is 'Best
[insert your own regional swear word here] country in the world!'.

It is very likely that, on arriving, some cheerful Australians will
'adopt' you, and on your first night will take you to a pub where
Australian beer is served. Despite the obvious danger, do not refuse. It
is a form of initiation rite. You will wake up late the next day with an
astonishing hangover, a foul taste in your mouth, and wearing strange
clothes. Your hosts will usually make sure you get home, and wave off
any legal difficulties with 'It's his first time in Australia, so we
took him to the pub', to which the policeman will sagely nod and close
his notebook. Be sure to tell the story of these events to every other
Australian you encounter, adding new embellishments at every stage, and
noting how strong the beer was. Thus you will be accepted into this
unique culture.

Most Australians are now urban dewllers, having discovered the primary
use of electricity, which is air-conditioning and refrigerators.

/Typical Australian Sayings/

G'Day!

It's better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.

She'll be right.

And down from Kosiosco, where the pine clad ridges raise their torn and
rugged battlements on high, where the air is clear is crystal, and the
white stars fairly blaze at midnight in the cold and frosty sky. And
where, around the overflow, the reed beds sweep and sway to the breezes,
and the rolling plains are wide. The Man from Snowy River is a household
word today, and the stockmen tell the story of his ride.

/Tips to Surviving Australia/

Don't ever put your hand down a hole for any reason whatsoever.

We mean it.

The beer is stronger than you think, regardless of how strong you think
it is.

Always carry a stick.

Air-conditioning.

Do not attempt to use any Australian slang, unless you are a trained
linguist and good in a fistfight.

Thick socks.

Take good maps. Stopping to ask directions only works when there are
people nearby.

If you leave the urban areas, carry several litres of water with you at
all times, or you will die.

Even in the most embellished stories told by Australians, there is
always a core of truth that it is unwise to ignore.

/See also: Deserts: How to die in them, The Stick - second most useful
thing ever and Poisonous and Venomous arachnids, insects, animals,
trees, shrubs, fish and sheep of Australia, volumes 1 - 42./

--
Robert Cox
smeghead_76@dodo.com.au
"Ankh-Morpork had dallied with many forms of government and had ended up
with that form of democracy known as One Man, One Vote. The Patrician
was the Man; he had the Vote."
-- Discworld politics explained (Terry Pratchett, Mort)

NullAshton March 4th, 2005 09:47 PM
Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 
Is that supposed to be a joke or something?

RudyHuxtable March 4th, 2005 10:06 PM
Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 
I move to strike all funniness from this thread. I think this should be turned into a serious discussion about the actual race that is currently underway to reach 1000 posts.

NullAshton March 4th, 2005 10:34 PM
Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 
I second this proposal. All in favor say aye.

NullAshton March 5th, 2005 12:25 AM
Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 
Anyone in support?

narf poit chez BOOM March 5th, 2005 12:29 AM
Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 
Nay.

RudyHuxtable March 5th, 2005 01:06 AM
Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 
Anyone other than Narf?

TerranC March 5th, 2005 01:42 AM
Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 
Nay.

TerranC March 5th, 2005 01:42 AM
Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 
Say... nah, still nay.

NullAshton March 5th, 2005 11:18 AM
Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 
I see we're tied.

Atrocities March 5th, 2005 11:22 AM
Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 
What do you think the next big discovery of humanity will be?

Strategia_In_Ultima March 5th, 2005 01:04 PM
Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 
SEV.

Strategia_In_Ultima March 5th, 2005 01:11 PM
Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 
I Vote Nay.

RudyHuxtable March 5th, 2005 01:18 PM
Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 
The next big discovery in humanity will be the Titanic. That ship has haunted us for years. It would be great if someone, like Dr. Robert Ballard for example, could find the ship so we could see it, and then make movies about it.

Strategia_In_Ultima March 5th, 2005 01:59 PM
Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 
Erm... the Titanic has been found already. Several ROVs have already brought back footage of the wreck.

NullAshton March 5th, 2005 05:55 PM
Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 
Next big discovery is the invention of devices to place advertisments on the moon.

Strategia_In_Ultima March 5th, 2005 06:19 PM
Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 
Simple: just rig a few missiles to blow a pattern of craters in the Moon. Where appropriate apply a toxic-waste missile with appropriately-colored toxic waste. That way you get nice colors, and if it's radioactive, a nice glow-in-the-dark effect too. People will be able to see your ad even during a lunar eclipse!

Strategia_In_Ultima March 5th, 2005 06:46 PM
Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 
I stick with my previous proposition: that Man's next greates invention will be SEV.

Or extraterrestrial intelligent life forms that can give us interstellar FTL travel... but that's not NEARLY as important.

NullAshton March 5th, 2005 07:08 PM
Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 
Get a bright light, and shine it on the moon. That way you can change advertisments!

EaX March 5th, 2005 07:19 PM
Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 
Quote:
Alneyan said:
Quote:
EaX said:
well i don't have pacience to destroy a Juggernaut with my fighter.
The same happened to me the first time i played that mission and with those shivan devices, i was near it when it exploded if my memory don't fails the hull of my ship was on 10% more or less http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/frown.gif
It is actually quick to bring the Juggernaut down: I think it took me about two hours (so 15 minutes with X8 speed), but reloading is what really takes a lot of time (you could speed up all the way to X64 otherwise). I am not sure if I had one or two banks of Trebuchets though. That was kind of silly to give that much firepower to fighters: if fighters have longer-ranged weapons than capital ships, and are able to lay waste to any vessel from afar, what is the point of using capital ships?

If you merely want the credit without doing any hard work, just fire a couple of missiles at the Juggernaut in High Noon. If no other ship damages the Juggernaut, you will be credited with killing that Juggernaut. It does look nice in your kill roster too.
Ohh i always wondered why my rooster showed i killed a Juggernaut, now i know.

By the way a time ago i made a map for SE4 with the Freespace2 systems, even with the same names (except for 1 one system i never figured out it), if you want it tell me and i post it.

NullAshton March 5th, 2005 07:38 PM
Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 
X2 rules!

NullAshton March 5th, 2005 07:38 PM
Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 
The 300th post I've made!

Strategia_In_Ultima March 5th, 2005 07:43 PM
Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 
Do you also have the appropriate mod? With the Apollo fighters (or you can make them ships, as they can jump) and the Orff-class capships? (Or is that class called differently? I don't know, I've only played the demo - real shame)

NullAshton March 5th, 2005 07:58 PM
Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 
Stop talking about freespace! I know nothing of it! Talk about Space Empires V instead, and how awsome it's going to be!

NullAshton March 5th, 2005 07:59 PM
Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 
I think it's going to be very awsome, with the 3D semi-realtime combat http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

Will March 5th, 2005 08:41 PM
Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 
Ashtray, love the sig picture http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

NullAshton March 5th, 2005 08:47 PM
Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 
... Please don't call me ashtray...

Combat Wombat March 5th, 2005 09:05 PM
Re: The Race to 1k Posts thread.. BYOP!
 
Stop complaining Babblecan and take your Invasion! turn already.


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