Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

Me too. I don't always read all the posted links, though. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

I'm reading too.

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

Check

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

shameless padding

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

I read it (but Id still like to see some reworded into SEIV jokes).

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

I drop in here when I notice it near the top of the threads. Just in case there is a good rib-cracking joke posted.

I'm still trying to find the infamous "**** List" that was floating around the net several years ago, I still laugh when I think of it.

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

cross-posted from the alt.hacker newsgroup (one of my OTHER homes). This is the original joke and my response....

pijoe <pijoe@REMOVEoperamail.com> wrote in news:40E1B3C9.3EDAEF88@REMOVEoperamail.com:

> scientists have decoded the first message from an alien civilization...
>
> Simply send 6 x 10 to the 50 atoms of Hydrogen to the Star System at the
> top of the list, cross off that star system, then put your Star System at the
> bottom of the list and send it to 100 other Star Systems. Within one-tenth
> of a Galactic Rotation you will receive enough hydrogen to power your
> civilization until entropy reaches its maximum! IT REALLY WORKS!

LOL I love it!

Now all we need is one saying they have 25,000,000 mindless workers which they MUST transfer somewhere. All they need is a planet to transfer them thru for a decade or two. In order to begin the process, we will need a good faith transfer of only 100,000 of our workers to them.

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

Hmmm that would make a crack up message to send in-game. Lets see....

Build and send 5 ships and gift them to the top 3 races...

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

I read it. And post like this to pad my count.

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

I do, and it's pointless posting like this that will give me a headstart on 2000 http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

I read it.

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

Someone's doing a visual aid for the evil overlord list: http://www.drunkduck.com/Evil_Overlord/

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

"I Can Catch Him"

John, a local football star, is jogging down the street when he sees a building on fire.
A lady is standing on a third story ledge holding her pet cat in her arms.

"Hey, lady," yells John, "Throw me the cat."

"No," she cries, "It's too far."

"I play (USA) football, I can catch him."

The smoke is pouring from the windows, and finally, the woman waves to John, kisses her cat goodbye, and tosses it down to the street.

John keeps his eye on the cat as it comes hurtling down toward him. The feline bounces off an awning and John runs into the street to catch it. He jumps six feet into the air and makes a spectacular one handed catch. The crowd that has gathered to watch the fire breaks into cheers.

John does a little victory dance, lifting the cat above his head, wiggling his knees back and forth, and then spikes the cat into the pavement. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

Jokes and Riddles eh? Well, here's a riddle for you, and if someone figures out what it means... well, I don't know what I'd do.

But hey, check the sig, and see if you can figure it out http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...s/confused.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...s/confused.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...s/confused.gif

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

I say it's code and that Jack will have it figured out within half an hour of seeing it.

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

You'd lose that bet - there are a few too many types of things (and a few too many specifics under each type) of what it might be for me to run through them effectively in the allotted time.

Some samples of possibilities:

1) Each grouping could stand for a single letter, in which case (for out purposes) it is an unbreakable one time pad.

2) The groupings could be a distraction, and it's just 36 letters scrambled in a particular fasion.

3) The groupings could be a distraction, and it's a simple letter-code which then can be broken into words by adding spaces at appropriet locations

4) it could be coding for a small ASCII picture when arranged in a particular fasion (36 letters can be evenly arrayed out into 1x36, 2x18, 3x12, 4x9, 6x6, 9x4, 12x3, 18x2, or 36x1). If the spaces are meaningful, then there are 47 or 48 characters to deal with (47 is prime, and can be discounted for picture purposes).

5) it is possible some set of symbols needs to be filtered out to get the message

6) it could be random garbage

7) it could be padded with random garbage

8) something I'm not thinking of at the moment

9) it could be a specific, used form of encryption

10) it could be an idiot code, where each segment means something long

11) a variation on the above

12) just about any combination of the above

Without a much larger sample size and/or further data, no algorythm will produce better results than guessing or exhaustive search (algorythms specifically designed for a type that the code just happens to be count as guessing, as they eliminate the other types by random chance of being that particular algorythm).

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

Hilarious! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

http://www.huntsville-realtor.com/fu...destar2004.mp3

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

Bob, a 70 year old extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful 25 year-old who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal as she drapes herself over Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word.

His buddies at the club are all aghast. They corner him and ask, "Bob, how'd you get the trophy girlfriend?"

Bob replies, "Girlfriend?! She's my wife!"

They're knocked over, but continue to ask. "So, how'd you persuade her to marry you?"

Bob says, "I lied about my age."

His friends respond, "What do you mean? Did you tell her you were only 50?"

Bob smiles and says, "No, I told her I was 90."

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

<font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">I give up. I spent about 3 hours trying to figure it out and I have no idea what it means.

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

<font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">Well. That certainly shows me how little I know about code-breaking. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

Ok, a few things to at least narrow it a wee bit.

A) It's not unbreakable (ie. one-time pad), 'cause what's the fun of a riddle/clue if there's no way to answer it http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...s/rolleyes.gif

B) It's not random garbage, nor have I inserted anything 'random' into it - see above

C) This is a legitimate pattern, that has been used in the past. (ie - I didn't make up the format)

That help at all?

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

Hilarious!

http://www.huntsville-realtor.com/fu...destar2004.mp3

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

Warning: Do not read if you take Star Wars to seriously: http://3do.jediknight.net/dcm/strips/33.gif

[ July 12, 2004, 18:18: Message edited by: narf poit chez BOOM ]

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

I got it! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">code:</font><hr /><pre style="font-size:x-small; font-family: monospace;">IAI OPS
TTS DST
SIC IOO
INU ESD
NQS TCE
LUT IUS</pre><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">Read vertically down the columns.

[ July 12, 2004, 18:26: Message edited by: capnq ]

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

I don't understand latin.

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

Excellent http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

It's a bit easier to read if you break it up a bit - the thing of it is that it's a perfect square. 6x6.

I A I O P S
T T S D S T
S I C I O O
I N U E S D
N Q S T C E
L U T I U S

Now for the next question, can anybody figure out the quote and it's translation?

[ July 12, 2004, 21:38: Message edited by: Tanus ]

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

Ok, the formatting didn't work very well on that, so here it is written out in a big string:

ITSINLATINQUISCUSTODIETIPSOSCUSTODES

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

Who watches the watchers.

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

That was quick. Smart people around here http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Guess I'm going to have to change my sig or think up a new code. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

Well it helps when you understand basic Latin (thats what happens when you were an altar server)

Also helps if you ever read "WATCHMEN" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[ July 13, 2004, 00:13: Message edited by: Randallw ]

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

Wow, that's pretty clever. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

*Because you've always wondered...

* If your name is Gryphin or Growltigger, it's not what your thinking. Stop being so predictable. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

Guys,

You might like this story about how things are done in Wisconsin.

---------------------------------------------

Brewski from heaven?
Kegs fall from truck; finder gets to enjoy contents

By Jessica Bock
Wausau Daily Herald
jbock@wdhprint.com

The beer gods were looking after Patrick Troyer on Wednesday when three kegs of Wisconsin Amber lager crossed Troyer's path on his way to work.

The beer, brewed by Capital Brewery of Middleton, had fallen out of the back of a delivery truck and onto a Wausau street because the driver had failed to secure the back door. But in Troyer's mind, he had experienced divine intervention.

"I think the clouds parted a little bit and the sun was shining down on me at that moment," Troyer, 29, recalled Thursday.

He was driving west Wednesday morning on Bridge Street and approaching Sixth Street when it happened. The beer truck had been en route to Scott Street Steak & Pub. When the driver of the delivery truck, owned by Central Beer Distributors, rounded the corner at North Sixth and Bridge streets, the 5-gallon slim kegs fell out.
Troyer put the car in reverse and the barrels, plummeting from the back end, narrowly missed his vehicle. He pulled over and got out to inspect.

Troyer moved the kegs off the road and waited for the driver to come back before loading them in his car and driving around to search for the truck. The two apparently just missed each other, because when the driver came back, he didn't see Troyer or the kegs.
In Wisconsin, beer that literally falls off the back of a truck isn't going to be left in the street for very long. So the driver called Wausau police and reported the missing kegs.

The driver was mostly just concerned that the incident had occurred and was glad that no one was hurt, said Mike Fischer, general manager of Central Beer Distributors in Rothschild.

Capital Brewery President Carl Nolen said it was a compliment the kegs were picked up so quickly.

"Some other brands might have stayed (on the street) longer," Nolen said.
Meanwhile, back at work, Troyer made arrangements to keep the beer cold in a relative's extra refrigerator and searched the Internet for Capital Brewery, the name he found adorning the kegs.

He faxed the company in Middleton a letter to report the incident and to inquire how to return the kegs, preferably after he emptied them.

Capital Brewery officials gladly obliged and canceled the police report they had filed on the missing kegs. They plan to mail Troyer a company shirt to enjoy with his free beer.

The Wisconsin Amber will be tapped for Troyer's two softball teams and a family reunion next week.
"I've got a family with a pretty strong German background, so I will be the hero this year," Troyer said.
Typically, Troyer enjoys weiss beers, the microbrews at Hereford and Hops in Wausau and the occasional Pabst Blue Ribbon. But since finding the kegs, he has sampled a glass of Capital Brewery's award-winning Wisconsin Amber at a restaurant.

"It was damn good," he said.

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

The B-52, as a model airplane.

It may take a little time to load, as it is a 2 minute movie, but well worth the time.

This project had to have some man hours and bucks sunk into it, to get this thing to fly. The engines alone had to be real special. It is truly an incredible venture by the people who created it.



B52 toy?

www.mcgirt.net/RC/VIDEOS/Giant_B52/B52_flight2.wmv

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

This strip is funny: http://talesfromthevault.com/thunder.../comic018.html

[ July 16, 2004, 22:26: Message edited by: narf poit chez BOOM ]

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

That day may be funny, but when someone introduces me to a new webcomic I go back and read previous days and then bookmark it if I think it want to read it from the start. I won't be doing it with this one (this days seems the only humorous one in the series)

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

Yeah, what I meant. I'll edit it.

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

Great commercials!!!!!!!!

http://www.ircuser.org/files/rbeer.swf
http://www.ircuser.org/files/monkey.swf

gotta luv it http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

Du du do du do
du doo du do
Mahnamahna!
du du do du do
dudododudodudodudo
Mahnamahna

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

May I suggest you give some indication of how long whatever you link to is. I tried to look at the link and waited for it to download. I eventually got bored with how long it was taking and didn't want to stop because for all I knew it would be finished in 5 seconds. After what was at least 1/2 an hour maybe 1, I got fed up and quit.

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

Oh, the first one is Really Big
the second one is smaller

sorry

try Right Click and Save for a progress meter.

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

Hopefully this will be a short-lived joke so enjoy it while you can....

Joe: "the Shrapnel Forums"
Jill: "Who's there?"
Joe: "knock knock"

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

<font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif Interesting joke and fitting for this forums. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

The shrapnel forums who?

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

From a RPG list of 'top ten worst wands': 5. Wand of Tarrasque detection, 5 feet

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

<font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">My good friend GP, you must really stop drinking your own home brewed beer. It is really beginning to effect you. Besides, you could go blind drinking that rot gut. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

<font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">?? Is there a member that goes by the handle KnockKnock? That's the only way this would make sense to me. (I'm brain dead today, so any 'obvious' jokes will escape me.)

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif