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-   -   Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha (http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/showthread.php?t=40786)

Tifone November 14th, 2008 07:03 PM

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 
BA-DUM TISSSSH



Starshine_Monarch November 17th, 2008 11:58 AM

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 
If Bwaha's life is a cabaret, then he's in the middle of a hostile takeover right now.:D Hell, that pretty much sums it up no matter what you compare him to at the moment.

Bwaha November 17th, 2008 01:53 PM

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 
Too all who wish avert this hostle takeover send cash and gems. That way I can hire Lawyers and build weapons.:D

Mithras November 17th, 2008 02:02 PM

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 
I'm sending a few old guys and the recently deceased right now, undead make good accountants, they work all night.
I had a nice easy merger right there and you ruined.
*Old guy in robe charges headlong into one of the two most powerful nations on the map*
A bit of help here?

Bwaha November 17th, 2008 02:07 PM

I will send some shambler skin armor to you. That way you'll be able to send more mages.:D

Mithras November 17th, 2008 03:28 PM

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 
I knew we should have planned this, note if anyone has aquatic spies or scryers, look in the sea to see Ry'leh and Ermor tripping over themselves to get at beaten by Atlantis :D

Ylvali November 17th, 2008 07:43 PM

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 
SCANDAL IN PATTALA - MARKATAS FOUND IN SHIPMENTS TO MACHAKA SPIDER FARMS.

When loading a regular shipment of spider food, the bandar workers heard strange noises within the crates. When opening they were shocked to discover dozens of live markatas stuffed together with taped limbs and mouthfolds.

It seems the machaka spider stables have been shipping uncountable numbers of markata as spider food using connections with the bandar mafia.

This shocking discovery has forced the Rishi council to take immediate action and dissolve the non aggression pact with Machaka.

Representatives from the MI (markatas international) have lauched infuriating campaigns for a war of vengance. However this has not yet won the ear of higher castes, who thinks there are too many markatas anyway.

The daily primate - front page.

Tifone November 18th, 2008 05:09 PM

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 
Our holy lord of Abysia, His Hotness Flamegasm deeply apologizes. Looks like He inadvertently passed near Los Angeles these days... It's just that He got Lost around in Time and Space.

Gregstrom November 19th, 2008 01:30 PM

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 
The priesthood of Machaka would like to register their objection to the Bandar smear tactics being used.

Monkey diplomats have for many months been telling us that Marketa were huge fire-breathing lizards, and that was the cause of their concern over Marketa population. It was these same diplomats who offered us contracts for cheap supplies of spider food.

It is now apparent that Bandar quality control procedures are far less than they should be, and we have two specific complaints.

Firstly, we specified non-sentient food quite clearly in the initial order form. Eating too much brain tissue makes our spiders particularly bad-tempered and aggressive, and we prefer to avoid that except in times of war.

Secondly, all that duct tape has been gumming up our spider's mouthparts, which causes them great discomfort.

We had been assuming this was some sort of plot of the Bandar government, and were about to declare sanctions. Do the Rishi now deny this?

Ylvali November 19th, 2008 07:35 PM

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Gregstrom (Post 654155)
The priesthood of Machaka would like to register their objection to the Bandar smear tactics being used.

Monkey diplomats have for many months been telling us that Marketa were huge fire-breathing lizards, and that was the cause of their concern over Marketa population. It was these same diplomats who offered us contracts for cheap supplies of spider food.

Preposterous!! Markata are an ancient race and well known in the machakan jungles. And the notion that such a feared spy network as the bane cult would allow confusion between Rishi official diplomats and bandar mafia lackeys is just silly!! Your shallow lies smell of spider venom.

Quote:

It is now apparent that Bandar quality control procedures are far less than they should be, and we have two specific complaints.

Firstly, we specified non-sentient food quite clearly in the initial order form. Eating too much brain tissue makes our spiders particularly bad-tempered and aggressive, and we prefer to avoid that except in times of war.

Secondly, all that duct tape has been gumming up our spider's mouthparts, which causes them great discomfort.

We had been assuming this was some sort of plot of the Bandar government, and were about to declare sanctions. Do the Rishi now deny this?
We shall ignore your verbal web of nonsense but thank you for the inspiration. Duct tape has been handed out among the markata hordes in preparation for the upcoming war.


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