Re: OT: And you thought the world was sane...
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Tell ya what, bud. YOU stand perfectly still and I'll just keep the animal on the other side of the post okay?

Re: OT: And you thought the world was sane...
 

you can calm barking dogs amazingly by talking nicely to them. didn't work on one dog that decided to follow me and growl. growling back at it worked, though.

uh, it might not work if you don't have a bunch of contained anger and can seriously growl if your upset. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

Re: OT: And you thought the world was sane...
 

"Now there's the trick right? Knowing which it is. I figure that my throat is more important to me than testing the owner's theory and risking being on the business end of a statistic."

Regardless if it wants to hurt you or not, running is a bad idea. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif Most dogs are faster than you, and the bigger ones don't even have to use teeth to take you down, trust me. If it is aggressive, you're screwed. If its not, you take a big chance of -making- it aggressive by running.

Re: OT: And you thought the world was sane...
 

Stand absolutely still, eh?

No thanks.

Re: OT: And you thought the world was sane...
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Yeah, not only do I second the "That sounds like a bad idea", but I don't think I could do that. I am not naturally paralyzed by fear or lighter levels of anxiety. I make no claim to calm rational behavior in threatened situations, but my natural reaction is active. I also haven't run from anything since I was ten (not in the literal sense, anyway). The part of me that's in control when the stink hits the fan seem to follow the policy "When in doubt, charge!". Any confrontation is responded to with a confrontational response. I do not doubt this could get me in trouble.

That may be one of the reasons I can't keep a girl (then again, maybe I should just stop dating floozies and flakes).

Re: OT: And you thought the world was sane...
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Once again I will mention that I was not running. I was keeping a post between us. I will not say this again.

Re: OT: And you thought the world was sane...
 

What you need to do if this occurs again Tigbit is ask the dog what it's intentions are. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...s/rolleyes.gif

Re: OT: And you thought the world was sane...
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">LOL

101 ways to get your throat ripped out by an undiciplined animal.

1) Stand still. (It won't attack... really it won't)

2) Grab both legs and pull apart.

3) Try to punch the animal's nose.

4) Ask it what it's intentions are.

97 left to go.... any other ideas? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Re: OT: And you thought the world was sane...
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">LOL

101 ways to get your throat ripped out by an undiciplined animal.

1) Stand still. (It won't attack... really it won't)

2) Grab both legs and pull apart.

3) Try to punch the animal's nose.

4) Ask it what it's intentions are.

97 left to go.... any other ideas? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Perhaps some nice steak sauce around your neck? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Re: OT: And you thought the world was sane...
 

The Difference between Liberals, Conservatives and Texans

Situational Issue: You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock .40 and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

Liberal Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun and what kind of message does this send to society and my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me or would he just be content to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while
he was stabbing me? This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days to try to come to a conclusion.

Conservative Answer:

BANG!

Texan's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click... (Sounds of reloading).

Wife: "Sweetheart, he looks like he's still moving, what do you kids think?"

Son: "Mom's right Dad, I saw it too..."

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click.

Daughter: "Nice group, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"

Re: OT: And you thought the world was sane...
 

More ways to get your throat ripped out by an undisciplined animal:

- Trying to run away was mentioned before.
- Tackle it and try to pin it down on the ground.
- Wave your hand in front of its face.
- Take off your shoe and use it as a club.
- Stare the animal right in the eyes.
- Make cat noises.
- Try to jump over the animal.
- Throw dirt in the animal's eyes.
- Scream as loud as you can.
- Shake your fist at it.
- Try to get it into a half nelson.
- Grab the animal's tail.

Re: OT: And you thought the world was sane...
 

well, i'm a bit of a conservative and not a texan, but i'm going to bang bang bang until it clicks.

Re: OT: And you thought the world was sane...
 

I'm not either, but I go bang until he stops moving. Or until I wound him to the point where he can't walk, same difference..

Re: OT: And you thought the world was sane...
 

I'll probably just go bang, unless I miss.

Re: OT: And you thought the world was sane...
 

A conservative who is trained in self defense would go "BANG BANG", pause to determine if the target was still a threat, then go "BANG BANG"" again if it was. Always double tap, because, contrary to Holywood, a hit from a single handgun bullet is not usually sufficient to stop a person instantly, unless it hits something like the brain or the spine.

Re: OT: And you thought the world was sane...
 

well, i'm not trained in self defence. but i'm pretty sure i'd still bang until it clicks. unless i was thinking there might be another one, in which case i'd just bang until the person falls down.

Re: OT: And you thought the world was sane...
 

A soldier would go "BANG... BANG, BANG." One in the head and two in the heart. Then walk away rightfully confident that the piece of refuse would never bother anyone again.

Re: OT: And you thought the world was sane...
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">No that is an interesting thought.

Re: OT: And you thought the world was sane...
 

Just to put an alternative liberal point of view across...

Situational Issue: You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a carnivorous rigellian Nurk-beast with a slavering mouth full of razor sharp teeth comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams "glurp norp gappagappgappgapp SchleeeE!*" and charges. You happen to know that the only thing capable of stopping a carnivorous rigellian Nurk-beast is a large lump of uranium 232.

Clear evidence, I think, for the general public to be allowed access to as much uranium 232 as they like.

Seriously, a random encounter with a frenzied knife-wielding killer is so unlikely as to be virtually negligible. I'd call it paranoid scaremongering.
But ignoring that for a minute, if you have a gun, why doesn't the maniac? Why didn't he just hide in a bush and kill you all from cover? Just because because he's a bloodthirsty ******* doesn't mean he's stupid enough to paint a target on his chest and give you a fighting chance. (Think "Washington sniper")

(*roughly translated: "Moist and fleshy meat-bags, I devour you in the name of SchleeeE the Digestor!")

[ August 29, 2003, 09:30: Message edited by: dogscoff ]

Re: OT: And you thought the world was sane...
 

LOL!!!!
Dogscoff, that's the best reply yet!

Re: OT: And you thought the world was sane...
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">The specifics are somewhat contrived, about on par with being killed in a car accident as a pedestrian, but it strikes me as more of a joke and a comment on stereotypes of people's thoughts on the matter rather than an actual argument. Such contrived situations simply make it mostly morally unambiguous, so that it is easier to make fun of the target(s).

If you want something slightly more realistic, and hence closer to an argument, try a different situation.
Suppose for a moment that you are a drug addict turned thief to get money for your next fix. There are several houses on the street, all with silent alarms (but you know how to stop those; just cut the phone line - easy). However, you happen to have some intel about these houses (now it starts to get slightly contrived); you checked the local gun registries under the freedom of information act, and so you know which houses have firearms (it's also a very law-abiding place; anyone with firearms will have them registered - more contrived now, I know). It's a fairly ritzy neigborhood; most will have dvd players, jewelry, or other rather valuable, readily hawkable items. You'd wait till everyone was away at work, but you need your fix now; everyone's at home, probably asleep. You don't have a gun (if you did, you'd hawk it for fix money), but do have a kitchen knife. Which houses are you more likely to burgle: the ones you know have guns or the ones you know don't?

While individually the circumstances for such scenarios are usually a bit contrived, it is a fairly simple matter to come up with many such scenerios, and the collective probability (the chance of at least one of them) becomes reasonable.

Re: OT: And you thought the world was sane...
 

Jack: just a bit contrived???

[ August 29, 2003, 21:49: Message edited by: DavidG ]

Re: OT: And you thought the world was sane...
 

Mr. Smith
I have noted that your replies are thoughful and thought provoking. But this Forum is Serious about Space Empires the Game from Malfador. And I have noticed that on just about every other topic except serious OT's about news events and real world topics most of it is Humor. I have been following this thread for a few days and have enjoyed the humor posted by the other folks on this thread. Your post on the other hand takes an almost compleatly serious tone to the joking tone of this thread is this your intent?

Oh and having been a drug crazed addict at one time I would choose the nearest most darkened house with out regard to any information I have and hope to brazen my way through any adverse situation I may find myself. After all getting a fix is of paramount importance irregardless of any danger.

Re: OT: And you thought the world was sane...
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Contrived isn't a concrete term; there is no defining probability line where you can say "this is not contrived, this is slightly contrived, this is contrived, this is very contrived, this is totally contrived, I didn't think it was possible to get a situation this contrived," lines between those are essentially matters of opinion. You have a different opinion on where such lines ought to be drawn. I have a slight tendancy for understatement. No matter.

Re: OT: And you thought the world was sane...
 

A nice quote from a friend of mine who, after reading this, has decided that he might be a Liberal. <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">(The whole, "I guess I'm a Liberal" thing has more to do with how this question relates to a real world situation, and my actions in it, that we have discussed at length.)

[ August 29, 2003, 12:34: Message edited by: Loser ]

Re: OT: And you thought the world was sane...
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Contrived isn't a concrete term; there is no defining probability line where you can say "this is not contrived, this is slightly contrived, this is contrived, this is very contrived, this is totally contrived, I didn't think it was possible to get a situation this contrived," lines between those are essentially matters of opinion. You have a different opinion on where such lines ought to be drawn. I have a slight tendancy for understatement. No matter.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Yea OK. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...s/rolleyes.gif Read Gozra's reply.

Re: OT: And you thought the world was sane...
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Sorry - I was just responding to Dogscoff's apparent criticism of the scenerio; I didn't intend to change the tone of the thread, but I'm not the best at humor, and I suppose I did accidentally do so. <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">So the flaw in my scenerio was assuming that an addict would take the time to think about it and cross the street? Good to know.

Congratulations on getting out from under that addiction.

... and I'm coming up empty on how to make this even slightly humorous. Ahh well, there's always next time.

Re: OT: And you thought the world was sane...
 

if i was going to rob somebody, i'd use a rag and some chloroform. does that make me a liberal?

Re: OT: And you thought the world was sane...
 

No sorry narf, it makes you spin doctor who works for a politician, we all know politics is cloack and dagger and subtle methods. Anyway we know for a fact spin doctors drink chloroform as a beverage http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Now, if anyone knows what i'd be if i caused somebody death by laxative? apart from a murderer with a bad sense of humour?

Re: OT: And you thought the world was sane...
 

spin doctor in what way? because i'm robbing them nicely? i am nice. unless provoked.

Re: OT: And you thought the world was sane...
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">One really sick person. http://www.meicosoft.com/bb/images/s...ns/shocked.gif

Re: OT: And you thought the world was sane...
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Napoleon Bonaparte's killer?

Re: OT: And you thought the world was sane...
 

A ****ty killer?
A Metamucil murder?
An exlax executioner?

Re: OT: And you thought the world was sane...
 

anyone been following the strange story in PA.

The one where the Pizza guy was was forced to rob banks and had bombs straped to himself ( he died )
http://www.35wsee.com/news2a.cfm?mor...news=fullstory
and now it gets even stranger...

http://www.35wsee.com/news2a.cfm?mor...news=fullstory

http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/...coworker_x.htm

Re: OT: And you thought the world was sane...
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Well, I'm happy to report that unless this country changes very radically I'll never have to worry about keeping up with the Jones' in a domestic arms race, because as far as I know none of my neighbours have guns.
And even if they did, I don't think just any member of the public would be able to go and browse the local firearms registry to find out.
And even if they could, I doubt a junkie as desperate as the one you describe would have the patience to take the time and trouble to carefully carry out such research if he were unable to wait until one of the places was empty. People in that state don't make reasoned, informed decisions and weigh up the risks. They'll just go for the nearest & quickest (not necessarily the safest or easiest) source of cash.

EDIT: That pizza-delivery death is just... wierd. I hope that idea doesn't catch on.

[ September 02, 2003, 09:52: Message edited by: dogscoff ]

Re: OT: And you thought the world was sane...
 

For those wishing to show their support!!!

http://www.arnold-2003.com/

Re: OT: And you thought the world was sane...
 

So, what did they do with the undelivered pizzas?
Entered as evidence? Did the customers get them for free?

I had a great idea for a pizza delivery business:
Mussolini's Domination Pizza. They race around town in Fiats and you don't have to open the door 'cuz they'll kick it in. The delivery drivers wear black shirts and there is only one flavor. And if the driver is late we'll shoot em. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Seriously though people being forced to commit crimes could become a disturbing trend. Johnny Depp did a movie where he was being coerced into assasinating the Gov of CA or else Christopher Walken would kill his daughter.

Re: OT: And you thought the world was sane...
 

This is totally insane...

Check out the naked police Calendar!!!

http://www.richstevens.com/NAKED.swf

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

Re: OT: And you thought the world was sane...
 

That was great, Wardad.

But you need to put an epliepsy alert on that link.

Re: OT: And you thought the world was sane...
 

Got this somewhere off the internet.
How can the world be sane when:

The best golfer is African American
the best rapper is a white man
France accuses the U.S. of being rude (sorry unknown enemy)
The Germans don't want war
people like British cooking
and the Swiss have The America's Cup.

I think it's a little dated by 6 months, referring to the early days of this Iraq thing.
Thought about adding something about Brittney and Madonna french kissing but I'm not feeling too creative right now (no Starbucks enema yet).

Re: OT: And you thought the world was sane...
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Well, I'm happy to report that unless this country changes very radically I'll never have to worry about keeping up with the Jones' in a domestic arms race, because as far as I know none of my neighbours have guns.
And even if they did, I don't think just any member of the public would be able to go and browse the local firearms registry to find out.
And even if they could, I doubt a junkie as desperate as the one you describe would have the patience to take the time and trouble to carefully carry out such research if he were unable to wait until one of the places was empty. People in that state don't make reasoned, informed decisions and weigh up the risks. They'll just go for the nearest & quickest (not necessarily the safest or easiest) source of cash.

EDIT: That pizza-delivery death is just... wierd. I hope that idea doesn't catch on.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">“Domestic Arms Race” Now there is a topic worthy of further discussion. The arming of the domestic household.

But first we would need to work out some terminology.

What would the threshold for an armed household be? Is a home with a 12 gauge Mossberg and half a box of #8 shells in the closet armed? Or do they need to have some 9’s and an SKS with a belt full of 30’s?

What qualifies as an arms race? If the gang down the street has a few 9’s, and you go out and get a 44 automag, is this an arms race?

What about collectors? Is it a collection, or an arsenal? Is it WW2 artifact, or an assault weapon?

Is a 30/378 Weatherby magnum a deer rifle, or an antitank weapon?

Is FFg propellant for rustic firearms, or a weapon of mass destruction? Is FFFg pistol powder or bomb fuel?

What level of fire power would make a home into a super power?

What would distance thresholds for weapons classes be? House to house, block to block, trans-neighborhood. And let’s not forget the mobile-automobile-deployable class of weapons. I guess we need to classify biologic weapons too. They could range from point defense (chained up dog) all they way to germ warfare (14 year old with daughter with mono) And we should also add psyco stuff too (loud stereos and teenage gear head offspring)

How much ammo would a house need to be considered a pre-prepared defensive position?

Does a potato gun qualify as artillery? Can a bag full of bottle rockets be considered a MLRS?

Is ammonia and Clorox a WMD? Are a bag of nitrate fertilizer and a can of fuel oil evidence of WMD manufacturing?

Is putting the bug zapper on a tree limb that overhangs your neighbors yard really an act of war?

If your mutt gets to the poodle that lives next door, is it a war crime?

If the mutt then kills the cat next door, can they charge him with genocide?

Should catching the local street gang in a well planed horse shoe ambush with pre-planed fields of fire and a clear open kill zone be against the law?

Should pre-emptive strikes against crack houses include a scorched earth policy?

To be continued.

Re: OT: And you thought the world was sane...
 

Does a potato gun qualify as artillery?

YES!!! Definitely http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

ATF:
"...are not firearms provided that they are used solely for launching potatoes for recreational purposes. However, any such devices which are used as weapons or used to launch other forms of projectiles may be firearms and destructive devices as defined."

http://www.spudtech.com/content.asp?id=13

Re: OT: And you thought the world was sane...
 

i think they should ban pools more children die from drowing in pools than from guns each year.

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

Re: OT: And you thought the world was sane...
 

If you're about to be attacked by a vicious dog, you can shoot the potato gun at it.

Re: OT: And you thought the world was sane...
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">However, since you are not using it for a recreational purpose, it becomes a firearm and therefore falls under the rules for firearms in your jurisdiction. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Re: OT: And you thought the world was sane...
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Not unless you first fix bayonette. The potatoe gun is an unreliable weapon in short range. Trust me.

Re: OT: And you thought the world was sane...
 

Then it falls under the... umm... sharp pointy objects... regulation. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Re: OT: And you thought the world was sane...
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Not unless you first fix bayonette. The potatoe gun is an unreliable weapon in short range. Trust me.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Yes, but is it a Russian potato gun or a Chinese potato gun? Bayonettes are illegal on Chinese potato guns. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

[ September 10, 2003, 06:15: Message edited by: Alpha Kodiak ]

Re: OT: And you thought the world was sane...
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">LOL! Those are cool T-shirts. I like the one that says "Vote for me if you want to live!" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Re: OT: And you thought the world was sane...
 

Well, you can run an extension from the bottom of the pistol grip to the stock. Then it becomes a "thumbhole" stock and is legal.

Does anyone know the average weight of a potato? We will need that to calculate the muzzle energy of the weapon in order to calculate its probable effectiveness against a charging dog.