Re: (OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers
 

Yes, I second 'Scoff's advice. I went through a 'lazy phase' in my teen years and used a native natural stimulant (guaraná) to help me. It worked for me, but I strongly dis-recommend any of that.

Re: (OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers
 

What is all this stuff about "power drinks" ?
A pint of bitter and you are fine http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Re: (OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers
 

i want to thank everyone here. im not yet over my depressions but im getting out of lethargic phase of it. as it always happens, im not moving to a phase where i WANT things to change.

Re: (OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I feel that Ruatha's spouse has made a very good suggestion. Doing something, anything will often get a person out of the rut he is in.

It does sound like you have a lot more time on your hands. Time which would ordinarily be taken up with other activities.

It could be that with the extra time is allowing you to consciously or unconsciously examine yourself. And if the standard against which you are comparing yourself is high, understandably there will be depression and "blah moods" as the discrepancy between "what is" and "what should be" may be wide.

We all need to be gentle and loving to ourselves. If we are lucky, we will have parents who can show us how to be kind to ourselves. Or we may be unlucky and have parents who have shown us how to be critical and condemning of ourselves when we miss the mark, whatever that may be.

But whatever parents we have, we still have a choice. We can either affirm we are of value, have merit and have meaning or we can put ourselves down and degrade ourselves.

Often, we do not know which camp we are in. You can discover which one it is by listening to your stray thoughts in your quiet moments. They will tell you whether you are loving to yourself and others or not.

If you are unable to relax enough to listen quietly to your stray thoughts, that may be an indication of the latter.

What to do if the discovery is negative? Reaffirm your worth to yourself. But also reaffirm the worth of others as climbing on the shoulders of others will not bring about a genuine feeling of worth.

Examine the standards which you have accepted. And when you do not measure up to these self-imposed standards, be kind to yourself. It is all part of being human and the learning experience.

Re: (OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers
 

Hmmm, just now noticed this thread...

Here's an idea that didn't come up in the other Posts: get into the arts more. My school years were miserable up until the end of my junior year (11th grade). Starting then, I picked up playing guitar (Note, chicks dig: guitarists, scars, guys who can/do cook/clean, guys who listen http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon6.gif ). After that, I started leaving the house more, doing things. After that, I went to a summer program in Information Technology that was offered by Pennsylvania's Dept. of Education (I lived in PA then).

Senior year (12th grade), I kept playing guitar, took an art class (sure, I was in a class with all the freshmen, but a friend and I decided we focused too much on academics and we took it together), and just felt a lot better. I also joined the school's tennis team... which was only possible because there was just barely enough interest to keep the program alive, and the team was perpetually in the cellar for the rankings. But, I met people from other schools, and had a good time, even while losing. In fact, to this day I have yet to win a tennis match http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

As for the situation with your female friend, I don't really have any advice to offer, as I'm still working on figuring that out myself. Tried asking a girl out once, and was given a resounding "NO" in a fashion that was quite harsh... never tried again since. I'm just sticking with meeting new people until I find one who I think is worth it.

I hope all this helps you find a solution to your troubles.

Re: (OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers
 

im thinking. im yet to figure out a way for myself.

tbontob:
you are absolutely right, i have way too much spare time. this might be the reason, i agree.

and you are more right than you might want to have been. for one i have very critical parents. that says it all. as for standards, it seems that living in Canada affected these - all of Canadians are very successful at social lives and sports. My class of C.A.L.M (Carreer and Life Management) doesnt help there because the teacher builds up high standards for the class.

I do realize I need to reaffirm my self-confidence, and im looking for ways how.

Two more things that are not helping me at all - one, my family is facing some financial problems right now... meaning i cant realy do some things i would, like go to movies more. to add to this ive never had a job before - and now about to start looking for one. That will give me some money to spend... in the future.
Another issue ... i cant recall it, i will get back to it tomorrow.

Will:
your thoughts match mine, and thanks for the advice because you caused me to think it over.
i've been thinking of learning to play a guitar myself... or to play something! and art class... well, ill post my 2nd post following it, read it.

edit: nope, no 2nd post. frankly ive been considering taking art in my 12th grade myself. i guess ill do that, just because i always wanted an art class.

and will, you reminded me of one sport i always liked playing - tennis. i might try to find something here.

thanks a lot everyone.

[ May 27, 2003, 08:25: Message edited by: Taera ]

Re: (OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers
 

i think a person should use criticism, if they do use it, constructivly. so, "doing this might be better" good. "what where you thinking" bad. sometimes, "do that to much more and bad things will happen" good to.

Re: (OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Beware of any class that has a clever acronym for a title. When i was at school we had to endure "Skiils For Adolescents" classes. Take a look at the acronym. SFA. I kid you not. It was the most useless class ever, a kind of lame, directionless group counselling session with teachers that knew nothing about counselling and kids who just wanted to get the hell out of there.

(For the English=foreign language ppl here, SFA is a popular acronym for "Sweet F*** All", which you use when you want to imply "sitting around doing nothing")

As for the financial thing- yeah that can be an obstacle to broadening your experiences and enjoying a full social life. Do you have a job? Maybe you should get one, just a saturday job in a shop or something. You'd get some spending money and you'd get to meet ppl as well. It also helps overcome the amotivation because you have to show up for work whether you feel like it or not.
Finally a history of part time work while studying looks good when you leave school/ education and are looking to start a career.

[ May 27, 2003, 09:21: Message edited by: dogscoff ]

Re: (OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers
 

Taera, whether you know it or not, you are on the right path.

You took the first step in acknowledging that you have a problem. A lot of people take years to take this step and many avoid it.

You took the second step in not keeping it a secret. That takes an enormous amount of courage. You deserve to pat yourself on the back.

You took the third step of asking for help. This too is courageous since advice comes in so many types and varieties and often there is no easy way to determine the meaningful from the less meaningful to the harmful. As a result you may feel confused and tossed about with all of it.

This may not make a lot of sense now, but in your dispair, you are being blessed.

Something deep in yourself (whether it be God, your inner self, your higher power, etc) is telling you that you need to examine something.

Only you can determine what that something is.

Only you can make the right choices when you discover what that something is.

Your parents have given you a foundation. It may be a good foundation and little work is required or it may require a lot of repair. In some cases the repairs may be so extensive that the original foundation may no longer be recognizable.

Critically examine everything, including what advice may come your way. Some things may not make sense. If they don't, consider throwing it into the back of your mind with the suggestion that the answer will come to you.

Be wary of giving up your right to choose to others. Making a mistake as a result of free choice is often preferable to making the right decision based on what someone has told you to do. Often the choices we make are the right choices for us. But even if a wrong choice is made, we can still learn from the mistake.

Re: (OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers
 

You could always take a few months and work on a cruise ship.

Re: (OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">According to a proffesional standing close to me.. You are hitting the right point here.
It's actually you who have to :

a. Define the problem, what it actually is.
-Is it that you have no motivation, then why?
-Is it that you are afraid to be alone, then why?
-Is it that you are afraid of rejection, then why?
-Is it that you don't want to assert yourself (please disease)?
etc...

b, Find a solution.
- What can you do to oppose your problem?
- What is feasible, what do you think is reasonable achivable?

c. Set goals, take it step by step but set goals and ACHIVE them.
-If you set a goal, for example; ask the first person on the classlist today what he/she is going to do this weekend and if possible ask if I can tag along, if not next day ask next person on class list... I'll start this tomorrow!
Then do it.
Then asses it, did it give anything positive? Did it improve my mood? Should I do it again?

(This is my interpretation of what my wife has said while cooking as I was talking to her then, I might have misunderstood something or misinterpreted but I belive in what I've written anyway).

Good luck in solving this yourself (I don't mean to be mean, but YOU are the only one who can help yourself, even if it is asking others for help. Then it is you who are doing something, i e asking for help.
But you need to define the problem better first before you can solve it.)

[ May 27, 2003, 23:07: Message edited by: Ruatha ]

Re: (OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers
 

Dogscoff: LOL, i think CALM is about the same thing for us Canadians here as SFA is. boring as hell, too.

Loser and TerranC, i view nicotine, alcohol, caffeine and worse things as easy answers with a possible bad outcome. I have never smoked, never drank too much, never wanted to touch any drugs at all. i know its not what you're getting at but its one of the few things i've set for myself, i will not be using anything to help myself if it is of stim type or to build courage or to get away from troubles. While i might be missing some experiences this has built some good qualities in me.

tbontop: thanks, and you can not worry there - im rarely taking advice as granted, im soaking ideas and advices and after processing them i use those that are good.
as for the right path, to be frank, this is the first time i have stumbled upon something too strong for me to simply overcome. i have identified the path for myself several years ago and somewhat effectively dealed with lesser problems. advice helps though.

tesco: wont help, i dont have the time for it. now its school, on summer it'll be work (i want to get some money for myself) and summer school. then its university. but a good idea http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Ruatha: i have given a very throughout thinking for the problems and their causes. i have found many causes all along my lifetime. i dont know did it help me, but i know where things have come from. I am having a problem though with defining exactly what the solution is, and the biggest problem of all is achieving my goals. its another problem im trying to overcome.

[ May 28, 2003, 02:54: Message edited by: Taera ]

Re: (OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">A stimulant is a stimulant. Caffeine, Nicotine, Ephedrine, Methamphetamine, whatever. Humanity needs to be more careful with these things. Yes, some of them are worse than others, some more addictive, more likely to make your heart stop, more likely to cause cancer, but ain't a one of them good for you.

That said, I'm currently using a stimulant nasal spray (one of those Generic Afrin types you can't use for more than three consecutive days) because it's cheap, it works (nose clear, breathing fine), and the A-FRICKIN'-LERT side effect is a help on this stupid shift. Use them? Fine, sure. But use them carefully.

One thing most people aren't aware of is that grapefruit juice changes the way just about any chemical interacts with the body. Some drugs get their primary effect strengthened, some weakened, some have a side effect blown way out of proportion. This was mentioned briefly in popular media about three years ago when doctors began to study whether drinking grapefruit juice was causing certain seniors to have adverse reactions to their medication (and they take so much, you know). It's not the vitamin C (which I'm sure one-out-of-three people reading this are thinking), it's something else.

In the case of most stimulants, grapefruit juice will lengthen the term of noticeable effect and also decrease the degree to which your body adjusts to the chemical. This is the case for all four stims I mentioned above. In this usage, sweetened grapefruit juice is just watering down the active ingredient: more bitter is more better.

If you are going to use stims, drink some grapefruit juice about ten minutes beforehand. If you want a nice mellow, constant stim don't touch caffeine. Go for nicotine patches. Buy the biggest ones possible and cut them into quarters. But be careful, because you will get addicted. (Never ever smoke while wearing the patch, not only will it put more nicotine in your system that you will like, but it will ruin the 'quit' potential of the patch.)

Re: (OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers
 

i'm going to give some faith based advice skip if you will be offended.

pray, to our heavenly father, thank HIM for all you have first, say what you want, what you feel, what you need. say what you feel you should say, and then thank HIM for HIS help and answers. end, as it says in the bible, in the name of JESUS CHRIST, amen. then, wait and have faith for an answer. and pray persistantly, to show your faith.

now that i've made all the athiests uncomfortable, i gotta go. my craft dinner's getting cold. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif
that should clear it up, fyron

[ May 28, 2003, 08:41: Message edited by: narf poit chez BOOM ]

Re: (OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers
 

Why do you assume that atheists would be uncomfortable? Most atheists I have ever met or heard of were tolerant of other people's beliefs. It is generally the extremely religious that are the intolerant ones (except for those few extremely anti-religious, but they are just as bad as the extremely religious).

Re: (OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers
 

or, if it doesn't(look at my Last post, i edited it), i don't think that. but, i know i at least, am a little uncomfortable with strong shows of emotion. i think you rate uncomfortable higher than i do. i would rate it from a minor irritant to miner annoying. but lets not start that again. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[ May 28, 2003, 09:13: Message edited by: narf poit chez BOOM ]

Re: (OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">This is a good thing. Stay away from them forever if you can. I honestly believe we would, individually, be better off without them. But I do hope you are aware of just how much caffeine intrudes on your everyday, commercial, Canadian life.

Today's Fun Auto-prescription Fun Tip from Dr. Wally

For a good time, try aggressively cutting caffeine out of your life for a month. This should include medications and over-the-counter drugs that include caffeine (such as Excedrin), as well as soft drinks and 'diet' pills.

Then, when you're good and clean and have noticed how much better you sleep at night, drink one cup of coffee at ten o'clock on a Saturday night. Do no sip this coffee, rather lower it to room temperature and consume it all at once: "slam it", as the kids say these days.

Eight hours later, when the day-star comes to point out your failure to follow the Normal People Sleeping Rules, compose some poetry.

The advice of Dr. Wally is not meant to be taken seriously: he is not real, and therefore not a real doctor.

Re: (OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers
 

I can vouch for that. I never drink tea or coffe, and rarely drink colas/ soft drinks. True story:

As a result I am something of a caffeine lightweight.

A few years ago it was trendy to drink red bull & vodka, and some friends and I went out and drank many of these. Many many. In a few hours I had the equivalent of about 12 strong cups of coffee (stimulant), with an equivalent quantity of vodka (relaxant) mixed in. I got home around 4am and went straight to sleep, the two drugs more or less balancing one another out.

My body began processing all the crap I had put in it and worked it's way through the vodka pretty efficiently, leaving only the caffeine.

Even though I was exhasuted from the previous night I was awake by 7 O'clock and cooking dinner by 8am. I was sweating and twitching involuntarily until about midday.

Caffiene bad.

[ May 28, 2003, 14:08: Message edited by: dogscoff ]

Re: (OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers
 

to respond to ammount of caffeine in my daily life ill first point out again that im not a native canadian, not even american - north european, russian.

my input of caffeine consists of about a liter of cola drink (whatever brand) and about one cup of coffee every three days. i drink more coffee on weekends simply because i enjoy the strong taste. luckily enough im also not strongly affected by caffeine as i often drink my coffee shortly before going to sleep and it never prevented me from falling asleep normally.

Re: (OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers
 

im just thinking, had anyone here else experienced that - when you dont know what to talk to people about? thats a problem i've been having for several years now, desperately trying to find a way around it http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif

Re: (OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers
 

if you can't think of what to say, join a conversation. works for me. still need to learn how to start one, though.

Re: (OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers
 

i can start and further, just when its over i need something else to talk about. especially with people who have slightly or realy different interests from me.

Re: (OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers
 

my dad suggets asking them about themselves and, if you know something about them, ask them about something in there lives. taking into account how well you know them. people are always impressed by that. considering how many people my dad knows, it's probably good advice.

Re: (OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers
 

hmm, i am doing that - but soon i still run out of topics to talk.

Re: (OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers
 

Just an idea of my own(c), no wife involved http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif
How about meta conversation?
i e when you don't know what to say, say;
"-When you run out of topics in a discussion, what do you talk about then?"
Getting tips from the victims so to say?

Re: (OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers
 

LOL thats a great idea there ruatha http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

Re: (OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">You can always ask for more details, or for specific details. Also, it sometimes helps to have a list of topics hidden away in your wallet. A sample list (no particular order, far from exhaustive):
</font>

• <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Work/School - co-workers/other students, employer/supervisor(s)/instructor(s), currently doing at</font>
• <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">The weather - enjoying it, favorite temperature, enjoy thunderstorms</font>
• <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">How did your day go / what's up / what have you been doing recently</font>
• <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Music - favorite song, artist, genre; recently heard tunes</font>
• <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Books - favorite story, author, genre; recently read books</font>
• <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Movies - favorite movie, performer (careful with this one! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif ), director; recently seen movies</font>
• <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Beliefs (Careful with this Category, but it is a must if you intend anything long term) - religion, politics, philosophy, specific issues
  </font>

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Note that with any such question, you will also want to ask "why?" in there somewhere. E.g.: If you ask "Do you like Bush being in the Oval Office?" you might get a yes/no response. However, if you follow that yes/no with "Any particular reason?" you are likely to get several sentences, at least.

Re: (OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers
 

Hmmmm....

We all share the feeling of uncertainty, insecurity and awkwardness when we are with new people whose interests are a bit different from ours.

It does help to have a genuine interest in the other person as a person.

On some level this is sensed by the other person who then is likely to open about himself and more forgiving the faux pas we may make.

It also helps to remind oneself that it takes two to make a relationship and that if the other person should decline it, it is not our fault as the choice was not ours alone.

We may make a faux pax but it is always the choice of the other person as to how he is going to respond to it. To blame ourselves for the reactions of another person is taking on far too much responsibility.

This doesn't mean we shouldn't examine the faux pas and think about changing future behaviour. Quite the contrary. But we do need to be gentle with ourselves when we inadvertently make mistakes.

Re: (OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers
 

i dont know if anyone realy cares... but had just recently dawned on my, what is the real source of my troubles now.

you might have noticed by now that i have not-the-most-entertaining lifestyle. one might say, geeky or nerdy or whatever word you prefer. and yes it is so, no reason to hide from it. it is though not the way i realy want it to be.

about a year ago, back in israel, i made the semi-unconscious decision to change my life, but then moving to canada happened.

i believe its the fact that i am in a completely different, new and yet partially alien place for myself. in israel, i knew what i needed to do, where to do it, and i had my friends. here, im feeling lost.

it is good that the realization came to me, i guess now it'll be easier to solve the problem.

Re: (OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">apologizing also helps.

Re: (OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers
 

Response to the Original post.

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Depression is a horrible horrible thing to have to live with. The only advice I would ever give in public about living with the pit falls of life would be to take it one day at a time and expect it all to come and go. Get a good nights sleep, and if your really depressed, and believe me you will know when that day comes, get help before it becomes to much. Trust me on this.

Thing do work out, and they often work out well.

Re: (OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">If an atheist experienced what I did this weekend, s/he would be going to church this week.

Some people may have a belief in God, but not in religion, are they considered atheist? I honestly don't know the answer to that question, but I would like to.

Re: (OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers
 

athism referes to a disbelief in god. some people might argue the use of 'disbelief', but not the rest of it. and if your considering joining a religon, pray about it. read the scriptures. and if you get a warm feeling about it, i suggest joining. of course, i'm sure god would be happiest with you in my religon, which is why i'm confident in posting that. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

Re: (OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers
 

me, im not an atheist. i believe in god, i just do not feel the need to worship.

Re: (OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Well, if you go by the technical definition, "atheist" would be one without religion. But the word is commonly applied to one who has no belief in a deity. And really, the whole entire range of people -- from those who practice "non-belief" to those who believe in some sort of deity/higher power, but without a specific religion -- are generally thrown into a vast grey area labeled "atheist/agnostic".

There are several labels that I have seen to catagorize these areas ("atheist", "agnostic", "humanist", "spiritual", "free-thinker", and on, and on, and on...), and all of them seem to be given different definitions by different people. If you ask someone what the difference between an atheist and an agnostic (the two most common labels), you will find a lot of different responses, like:
</font>

• <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">"There is no difference worth mentioning, both are heathens that will burn in Hell for an eternity"
  </font>
• <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">"Atheists just don't believe, agnostics are 'still deciding, confused'"
  </font>
• <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">"Atheists are arrogant people who refuse to acknowledge any possibility of God, and agnostics are searching for the true God"
  </font>
• <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">"Athe-what?"
  </font>

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">You get the idea... Personally I just think the whole catagorization thing was doomed since it was thought of in this case, since the range of beliefs in the grey-area equals the number of inhabitants. It's an intensely personal thing that defies any sort of sorting. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif
So, to answer the question... it depends on who's definition of "atheist" you use http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Re: (OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers
 

Thank you Will.

I like to believe that we as humans have the right to choose what we will or will not accept or believe in. That to be free is to be free to choose what you will or will not believe in without the fear of being chastized or persacuted (sp) for it.

I am who I am and do not like to be judged for what I think or feel, and I would hope that others would feel the same way. It is not for me to judge poeple, it is for themselves to do.

I choose to believe in God, but not religion. I have my reasons, and I feel that they are good ones. God is with me, and has saved me on many occations. Yet there have been many times when I have left to learn my own lessons in life.

Life is an adventure in knowledge gathering.

Re: (OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers
 

i believe that people would have trouble gathering all the information they needed, so god put religon on the earth.

Re: (OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">According to the Catholic Church, you would not be an atheist but you would be a heretic. But then so would all Protestants. This is a word that you don't hear a lot these days, BTW, but it's still the official definition.

Re: (OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">apologizing also helps.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Yes, I agree.

But with or without an apology, it is still the choice of the person as to how he is going to respond to the behaviour or behaviour/apology.

It is not uncommon for a person to carry a grudge even when all attempts of reconciliation have been tried including apologies.

Re: (OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">It can also be regrettibly said that man invented religion as a means to control people. Play upon their fears and use that fear to make the weak minded or fearful do as you wish.

Or one could also say that God tought man religion in order to give a privelaged few the power to control the masses.

Either way you cut it, religion has resulted in abuses of power of people, and in many cases lead to wars, death, and terrorism.

So if a person chose the values of God without the mindless following that is dictated by a religion, one is labled a name by those who control the said religion and therefor will be cast out of heaven.

Ya right, and they have a red phone that links them directly to GOD. They have been empowered to speak for God by god. I don't think so, and I, as a free sole, choose to believe in God, and not religion, and I know that God has not foresaken me because of this. And how dare some one ever emply that he has.

[ June 03, 2003, 15:01: Message edited by: Atrocities ]

Re: (OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Taera, you may want to take a look at this area.

It has to do with a sense of self-worth.

Some of us get our sense of self-worth from others. If they like us or if they care then we are worthy, of value and deserve to be liked/loved.

In such a case, we are dependent upon others for our sense of worth and well-being.

You may also wish to examine your definition of "caring".

Please do not take the following examples as an attempt to fit you into one of them. They are given by way of explanation only. I often get into trouble when I give examples and they are taken personally. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

Some people define it as "listening when I am in real trouble". By this definition, we will find someone who will listen and feel that people care.

If we define it as "listening to me ad nausia", well, there are fewer people willing to do this.

If we define it as "listening to me on demand whenever I want it and have to listen it to ad nausia", we would be very fortunate to find such a person.

And we are in real trouble if we expect most or all people to exhibit the level of care we want.

But it may not be listening at all. It may be something else which you feel falls short of the standard of caring which is expected.

Whatever the standard, it does need to be examined if you feel uncared.

On a somewhat similiar vein, but taking it from the perspective of the care-giver, some of us buy the care we want. So we shower the person with gifts, take them to restaurants etc.

Both parties need to examine the basis of their sense of worth/value.

I saw a poster once. "God loves me because he don't make no junk!"

If we can accept that we are worthy and loveable for all our warts, mistakes, errors and indiscretions, then we will have a sense of worth that transcends all that happens around us.

And this applies to criminals who by societal standards make the most serious mistakes.

Some people go though their whole life without examining this question. Those who do, often find it is a lifetime journey.

Re: (OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I'm sure this wasn't aimed at me directly. For the record, my views are similar to yours. But I decided I would study religious doctrine so I wouldn't be caught by surprise in certain situations.

Re: (OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I hope that what you experienced was good rather than bad, Atrocities. Both types of events can lead one to seek God, but it often seems that troublesome events are more likely to get us searching for something more than ourselves.

As for your question about atheism, a person who believes in God would not be an atheist. In fact that person would not really be agnostic, since agnostic (Greek - "without knowledge") refers to a person who is not sure whether God exists or not.

A deeper question is, what do you do with your belief? I totally agree with you in one of your other Posts that God does not foresake you because you do not believe in religion. I do believe that the main reason we are on this earth is to have a relationship with God. I also believe that I am unable to have that relationship in my own strength, because I am imperfect, but I believe that God has provided a way for me to have a relationship with Him in His strength. Yet believing in something, but not acting on that belief is almost like not believing in it.

Rather than post again about my views of Christianity, with which many who read these threads are no doubt familiar, I would encourage you to honestly ask Him what His will for you is. You know He is with you, and you know He is taking care of you, so trust as well for Him to reveal to you what the next step in your relationship should be.

Re: (OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers
 

religon's of all types have been used by corrupt people. that is why one must have a personal relationship with god. to simply condemn all religons for the corruptions of a few people is a mistake.

[ June 03, 2003, 22:00: Message edited by: narf poit chez BOOM ]

Re: (OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">A more general Version of that statement is also true: Orginizations of all types have been used by corrupt people to do evil things.

Re: (OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers
 

tbonbop, a small confession here, there were only two people who i'd talk to about my problems, and when they were there i didnt have problems to talk about. those two are left in israel. there is no person right now i'd talk to about my problems, each one having a different reason for me not wanting to.

i have posted it here simple because i have spent a lot of time around the people here, as well as i do believe you to be adult people. (and my belief here was justified)

self esteem... i have problems there im trying to solve now.
what yes, one of my... questions? ... is that i dont want to receive pity. sincere or not, pity is pity... feels and sounds wrong.

regarding this particular post, i saw what i wrote - "dont know if anyone cares". in this context though it was more along the lines of the fact that it is a self-discovery i made that i dont know if anyone is interested in knowing. i still posted it here, to kind-of summarize my previous line of thinking and show you, all of you, that you had helped me at least to understand this.

and i want to respond to the thread of religion. this is a much-debated over topic. i, with my sometimes bitter and critical point of view, and i will disagree with you all. religion is a way to a neverending question of humankind, and soul problems. dont tell me im blaspheming in next sentence. god may exist and may not (my beliefs tend to be towards the former) but the belief had not once given people an answer, a solution or a new life. i speak from a non-worshipper point of view, religion is an incredible invention of humankind that had not once united differnt people, helped persons and Groups and nations to survive or to find an answer.
All you can blame on religion is ultimately the fault of the man. as such you can also say biology is the worst invention of the human race - it is the ultimate killer against which there is no escape whatsoever. a recovering patient would not agree with you.

religion is an answer, not means for anything. some people though take beliefs too far, and it is a common humanly trait. and there are always those willing to use the opportunity. when religion becomes fanatiscism it is not religion. it is fanatiscism. hence the different word. and you cannot confuse or even connect the two.

Re: (OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers
 

Yes and the early Christian church was no exception.

It is a little known fact that when Constantine made Christianity the state religion in the 4th century, the Christians turned around and started to persecute the Nestorians.

Until then, the Nestorians were a legitimate sect of Christianity believing that Jesus was totally human. This changed with the Council of Nicia where the Nician Creed was passed which states that Jesus is both totally human and totally divine.

The Nestorians were an Eastern sect and the persecution went on for centuries. Some scholars believe that they were eventually absorbed into the Muslim faith which believes Jesus is a prophet but not divine.

Many of us think of Christianity as a bush growing out of one central source. Scholars now tend to view Christianity as a hourglass with an early explosion of different forms of Christianity followed by a restriction and then expanding again with Protestantism.

Re: (OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers
 

taera, without the answers and support my religon gives me, i would be in worse shape, even if i beleived in god. i could find out answers to my problems with my own faith in god, but i wouldn't be prepared with them beforehand. and i believe if all people truly loved and cared for each other, our problems would disapear fast. case in point: do you rob or kill someone you love? no. so there's war and theft gone right there. and my religon helps me a lot with that.

Re: (OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers
 

Taera, I hear you.

Pity has a connotation of condescension. That the person is not quite right. That he is defective in some way.

But none of us are perfect beings. And if one of us were perfect, what is he doing here? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

My feeling is we are on this earth to learn something. What each of us need to learn is different for each individual.

I also believe we visit this realm numerous times. Sometimes as a male and sometimes as a female. I may be Jewish in one life, Christian in another and an agnostic in the third. Or something else.

Is it true? I don't know. I certainly cannot prove it. But to my mind it is just as valid as the Christian belief that we have one life and either end up in Hell or sitting on the right hand of God himself. For Christians cannot prove the validity of that belief however much they may point to the Bible.

If you have taken philosophy, you know you can neither prove the existance of God or disprove his existance. So it all comes down to faith.

People often ask me if I am religious. My answer is no as I do not adhere to any religion. I feel all religions have something to teach us.

But I do believe in God/higher power/greater being etc. I believe in the brotherhood of man. And one of the many lessons we need to learn is how to be compassionate to others who have fallen upon hard times.

Still wanting to put me into some sort of Category, they ask or state "You are spiritual". I answer "Yes", but that does not in any way make me special for I believe we are all spiritual beings temporarily cloathed in flesh.

And I hear you about fanaticism. At the risk of offending Christians, I belief Christ was able to convey only a little of what he knew/discovered. Like a child who could not understand Calculus if we tried to explain it to him, we are like children with the mysteries of the universe.

So you are wise to be skeptical of fanaticism. It can be a trap, since fanaticism implies an intolerance of other beliefs.

But lot of people are drawn to it as it overlays the uncertainties we feel in life and can give a feeling of security in an insecure world.

Re: (OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I'm sure this wasn't aimed at me directly. For the record, my views are similar to yours. But I decided I would study religious doctrine so I wouldn't be caught by surprise in certain situations.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Oh dude, no, my comment was in no way directed at you or any member of this forum. Please forgive the generalization of my post. Chief Engineer Erax I honestly am sorry if I made you think that my post was directed at you. It was not directed at any one.