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Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
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"I've been waiting for you, my young friend. We meet again, at Last." [ July 04, 2003, 19:21: Message edited by: Gunther ] |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Wow, this place gets replys fast. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif .
But yeah, Taera, Lurkers, in Starcraft at least, are the buggy burrowing things with the spikes, but a Lurker Above is differant. Lurkers Above are... some sort of drow eating, cave dwelling, dry-land octopus thing. I think (not often). It's a D&D thing. Related to darkmantles, for those who might know. But yeah, I'm babbling. Anyways, I took the name because I figured, hey, I've been a guest here for what, 4, 5 months? and I'll probably just lurk alot once I DO register, so it fits, ne? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif Thus, in an effort to leave as many people as confused as humanly (or otherwise) possible, I give you a quote, but not who it's from (not that it matters, I'd be willing to bet alot of you have heard this before): "It's a strange thing, but every sentient race has it own Version of these sweedish meatballs. I suspect it one of those great universial mysteries, which will either never be explained or which would drive you mad if you ever learned the truth." |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Timstone is enjoying the sight of the ususal bar fights, evil plots and the regular patrons as suddenly his eyes are pulled towards a dark cloaked figure. Timstone gets the feeling he knows that guy. He thinks and yes:
"Yeehaaaa! Gunther is back!!" Timstone rushes to Gunther and slaps him on the back. He immediately gives him a brewski and askes him to sit down and drink some more brewski with him and his GF (whom he helped to escape). A little astonished he gives in and walks with Timstone to a table. and they begin to talk about the adventures they had from the time they had Last seen eachother. Edit: Gunther: Me and RD didn't took you from 19th century Germany, but from 19th century Poland. [ July 06, 2003, 10:50: Message edited by: Timstone ] |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
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As Ragnarok is being carried to the water hole to be tried for witchcraft he is beginning to think that this time traveling thing is getting repetitive. Ragnarok begins chanting stuff to try and scare the people from putting him in the water but it has no effect. They then tie him to a stake (that they will burn him on if water test fails) and toss him in the water. After a few minutes the bubbles stop coming to the surface and the people start cheering gleefully. As the camara pans to the background you see a small figure running away from the small pond with hands bound. It is Ragnarok! When they threw him in the water he bagan to work on his Hudini(sp?) act and he managed to hold his breath long enough to get off the poll. He then swam underwater until he reached the other side of the pond. After pondering how to get back to his time he gets close to the screen and grabs a pencil. He begins erasing where he is and draws the scene back just this time back at the Cantina. Ragnarok then almost throws the pencil away but he realizes he could use it. He walks over to RD and asks him if he has seen this pencil before. RD nods no and Ragnarok then takes it and eraces RD from the scene. "That should fix that problem," says Ragnarok. |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
*Just as Ragnarok finishes rubbing out Raging Deadstar Timstone sneaks up behind Rags and pours piant thinner all over him. Ragnarok slowly begins to blend into himself and eventually becomes a large soppy mess on the floor. Taz spins over and cleans it up leaving no trace of ragnarok. Timstone then quickly goes over to david gervais and asks him to redraw RD. Raging Deadstar is redrawn and is back, but with two problems. RD has a bill to pay for Mr Gervais's art work and Timstone seems to be getting rather comfy with his girlfriend on RD's couch"!*
"Better stop them before it gets soiled!" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Aren't I the sneaky one, heh? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif
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Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Yep Ragamuffin isn't going to be pleased with you when he gets back http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif
*Raging Deadstar decides to hook up his phased shield generator to his corner and a couple of quantum torpedoes, just so no-one THINKS about tarnishing his sanctuary* I think i'll go outside and talk to barry, good luck http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif [ July 06, 2003, 17:04: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ] |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
RD, as usual, you're the smart one of the two of us...
Now where did I leave that handy dandy catle prodder? I must have something to defend me with. Oh, now I know I just let my GF defend me. She has a black belt (or something) in KongFu. Yeah, I love those feisty women! |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Hehe me too. Currently my girlfriend is one belt off a black belt in judo! Always got to watch what you say though, one slip of your tongue and... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif
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Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
My girlfriend is a 10-th dan black belt in karate, jujitsu, and taekwondo, and she's also a shape-shifting, cybernetic, psionic, magic-using ninja from the future! No, just kidding. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif
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Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
I'd guess horseplay would be alarmingly different if the one party knew how to fight. As I have difficulty imagining letting the girl win, I really can't wrap my mind around a situation where I couldn't keep the girl from winning. Maybe girls who follow are martial discipline are different about horsing-around and maybe their fellows are just different guys.
Just not something I've thought about before... |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
ook ook ook ook ook oooooook
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Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Mmmm. Excellent beer, this. Timstone, I never went away, the Cantina did. I was left behind and went through many adventures. I'm a different man today and no longer hunt witches, but I had to scare your friend Rags.
And to clear everything up, yes, you found me in Poland, but I was born in 19th century Germany. Gunther buys beer for Timstone, Timstone's GF and RD. |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Sheesh, I go away for a few days and all hell is breaking loose in my establishment!
Right, Mac, you managed to hit the inflatable GT I left to watch the premises. I dont appreciate aerial colostomy bags so I am afraid your Liz Hurley clone visiting rights must be suspended. Rags, RD, Timstone line up please. They do and the great cat gets out his trusty mashie niblick and dings them all in the happy sacks. Rags gets dinged again for being a bit too surreal for his own good (castles of people where he is the great one!, I should stop him drinking cherryade) Cripes, I just get the decor sorted and a bunch of vikings wreck the joint. Oh well, GT dons horned helmet, scalemail, fake beard and changes his name temporarily to "Snorri". Grabs large long axe and wades into the fray shouting "Valhalla aint got nothing on the cantina" |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Hey, it's good to have you back Gunther!
Crap, GT that hurts! I might want to use it some day... |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Sorry about that Timstone, but you know what they say about abusing a Dutchman a day to have a happy and full life. It is sometimes a bit boring constantly assualting Americans all the time!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif
Talking about assaulting Americans, maybe Sachmo should get a visitation from the red hot poker hand cannon for (I think) nicking my handle to make a facetious remark... Now where is he? sizzle sizzle |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
A stocky fellow with a beard walks in, wearing what appears to be a flight suit. Looking around, he spots Growltigger and walks up to him.
"Good evening. My name's Woundwort, and I have a business proposition for you..." |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Hmmm, sounds interesting General Woundwort. Tell me what it is but be advised, my contracts are written in blood, and not my own I might add. The cantina is not for sale by the way
By the way, I recognise you from somewhere, did I not see you in a pie I had for dinner recently. If so, I must say you have survived mastication rather well... and dont tell me about the flight suit, this is going to be painful, I can tell |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Kamog : You probably already know this, but here goes :
L.O.K.E.N. : Lifeform Optimized for Killing and Efficient Nullification. I just thought you should know. Hey Boss, how about those plans I showed you ? Do I get the job ? Seeing as Mac won't be using his LH clones for a while, we could get some, ah, repair work done on them. |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Your sense of humor is as sharp as your incisors. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif
No, rest assured, I do not wish to buy your establishment - but something somewhat related. There is a group of threads nearby - the "Starfury" threads to be precise. There's not much going on down there now, but I am confident that once Starfury is released, there will be a thriving community of pirates, merchants, mercenaries, and other assorted space scum in that sector. Such space scum will need a watering hole. My proposition is, I would like to open a franchise of the Phong's Head in that sector, licensed and owned by your esteemed person, operated by me. Interested? |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
A question General: "How the heck are you going to pay for such a contract?! Don't forget GT is a formidable lawyer. What do you say?! You don't know what a lawyer is?! well I'll be damned a lifeform without a clue what a lawyer is, this is the first I've ever met. Well, let me explain it to you in simple layman terms. He's a man without a live as we know it, he's actually dead, he lives for the sole purpose to leach on the pain and missery of other to cause even more suffering for the lot of them. Now you understand? I hope you survive the first meeting. If not, rest assured I'll attend your funeral of whatever."
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Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Lawyers? What use are those creatures? This is a simple proposition, based on mutual interest. If he accepts, he accepts. If not, I'll not be offended at it. And if he accepts, it is my responsibility to live up to my side of the contract - I'll not hide behind scraps of paper or lawyers if I fail. I'll take my lumps. It's my word and his. I know the worth of his words. I wish to show mine.
So go drink your drink and let me finish my business with Mr. Growltigger here. |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
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I'll not hide behind scraps of paper or lawyers if I fail. I'll take my lumps. Hmm... be afraid if you fail, be very afraid. Ah well, I'll tkae the brewski you offered and be off again. I just thought it would be fair to show you a glimpse of the darker side of our good old Cat. |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
General Woundwort, that is an interesting proposition. Bear with me a second whilst I just clear off some unnecessary "chaff" in the cantina.
GT walks over to Timstone, knees him in the testicles and then smashes him in the face with a large chorizo. As the scrawny Dutch chap hits the ground, GT jumps on his ankles and kicks him in the ribs. Cheeky sod Right General, as a lawyer (and therefore the oil that greases the wheels of finance and industry), you understand that I would like to document and regulate everything between us, so that we both understand our respective rights and obligations. Right General, what you are talking about is a franchise right aren't you, Interesting concept and I suppose we can come to a mutually acceptable agreement as per rental of FBW's, licence of Cantina format, percentage of profits, IT rights vis a vis using the "Cantina" trade mark and format, side agreement detailing minumum level of sex and violence, supply agreement re all alcoholic beverages, loan of SMURF team and rental agreement for ninja shrimp, giant squid, killer mongooses etc, visitation rights for senior management, full recourse and optimumm control rights in case of default, margin ratchet linked to PIBOR/LIBOR currency movements based on a revolving tiered scale.... hold on Timstone stirs before being swiftly kicked in the head by Growltigga.. right, where was I? franchise cantina to be operated on a joint venture basis, with cash streams and up-level funding demarcated and paid into a trust account of which I am the sole beneficiary, your family held hostage for good behaviour and profits, usual penalty clauses including loss of digits and genitalia for minor infractions, governing law to be English, as modified by cantina precedents. Yep, seems to be all here. Do you want to read the small print or just sign here? [ July 08, 2003, 16:57: Message edited by: Growltigger ] |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Right, let's look this over...
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Fine, no worries. Quote:
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Other than that, I think we have a deal. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon6.gif |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Boss ?... Growltigga ?... About the clones and the handyman job ?...
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Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Woundwort, I am off to a meeting so shall reviewe your comments and revert in due course.
Erax, the handyman's job is yours, I like the plan you are developing, please can you safety proof ALL FBW's, especially the Kylie Minogue, Ines Sastre ones. Be in touch chaps |
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Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
OK, Boss !
Hmmm... so much to do... Erax rounds up all of Mac's LH clones and sends them to the Cantina's 'safe storage area', together with all off-duty FBW's and the Space Marine clones from the old Bar Trek thread. But there's something else that has to be fixed first, Taz is not at the bar ! Erax quickly drags out a bar-o-bot from the broom closet, starts it up and leaves it on duty. There, the robot will hold the fort until Taz arrives. Now for the clones. I need some time to think about this. Hmmmmm... Erax wanders off to the unknown spaces in the back of the Cantina. |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Cuuuuuuuujoooooo, Cuuuujooooo, Cuuuuuujoooooo!
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Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
GT: Happy to be of service anytime!
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Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Probably cloned in this case, but given the clientele expected, perhaps we should wait and see what dominant species would be required for them
I think you will find that the FBW's are compatible in pretty much any format. That is the charm of them, and why their rental rates are so reasonable Of course you would get full billing as the licensor - the name I had in mind was "Phong's Head Cantina [TM] - Starfury Sector I can live with that I am quite reasonable in this regard, only requiring the upkeep for my planned Starfury Merc Cruiser http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif Hmmmm, usually I would not expect director's emoluments to include maintenance of pleasure craft. Subhject to an agreed cap on rental expenses, I am agreeable to this being an operating expense of the business, subject to recourse to that vehicle as collateral for the franchise What could be simpler? The expected clientele would provide all that and more. I'm more worried about them exceeding the limit and damaging the property. Sex and violence and beating up Dutchmen and Americans is all part and parcel of operating a cantuna. I think you need to pay extra to have our fully damage proof furniture. I will write that into the contract I have a friend who specializes in this sort of thing. Even brings cases of Romulan ale across the Neutral Zone every now and then. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif I will allow a minimum level of guest beverages, but you will appreciate that all drinks and foodstuffs need to bougth and sourced through the Cantina Security, a must. It is, but I tend to find a red hot poker hand cannon and Barry the T-Rex tend to act as "equalisers" You were't planning on not visiting, were you? It wouldn't be a true franchise without your esteemed presence. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif True, and I wil agree to make guest appearances for a certain fee. I also reserve the right to appoint investigating accountants (at your cost of course) to review the cantina at any time to protect my investment I have every intention of fulfilling my obligations, but if by some awful mischance something should happen (my ship getting hit by an Abbidon AC, for instance), all due measures need to be taken so that the enterprise may function in my absence. Agreed. Good, selling you into slavery if the clone cantina fails if underpinning my whole security platform. I will also take a lease over your vital organs. Yes... yes... [looks up "PIBOR" on UWW (Universe Wide Web) palm pilot while Growltigger is busy] Sheesh, I am happy to link the interest rate to Dollar LIBOR if this makes you happier. As I plan to take my expenses "off the top" from the raw profits, this is perfectly acceptable. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif Expenses will be capped, with a claw back mechanism if they reduce profits by more than an acceptable margin. In my absolute discretion of course. Sad to say, I have none (comes with being a stocky philosophy geek who plays SEIV http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...s/rolleyes.gif ) We may be dust before the wind, but I am then taking security over your vital organs, with full rights to sell them if you should default. [checks med insurance... yep, regeneration procedures covered] No problem. I will take an assignment over that policy as well thank you As the English would say, righto old chap. Not since 1945 they wouldn't. We would probably say, "there's a bleedin' yank, go one, stick the bugger one and give 'im a kickin'. Lawks" Just one point. There is a band that wants to play in the cantina [jerks thumb over shoulder to a gaggle of black-eyed, white-skinned, gilled creatures carrying their instruments]. They got kicked off of their original gig on Tatooine, and are willing to work cheap. I think they might provide the right... atmosphere... for the cantina. Or, barring that, the first victims. No problem, I am a firm beleiver and promoter of live music. Failing that, if are no good, bring them to Barry, he likes musicians (the instruments are really crunchy) |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
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[Look over contract one Last time, pause, then quaff the dregs of my Drachenbrau. Pull pen from flight suit and sign contract.] That's that. Well, Boss, I now have a lot of work to do. With your permission, I will head over to the Starfury threads and place a lien on some good property while the getting is good. [ July 09, 2003, 13:09: Message edited by: General Woundwort ] |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
And your doom is sealed... muahahahaha...
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Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Pff... I only tried to help you.
I'm no punching bag, I'm a genius. Now get lost you follower of eeevil before I you away on my TTG. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif *Timstone orders a brewski and recuperates from his punching bag "adventure"* In Holland we would say: "Stank voor dank." |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Interesting Timstone, in Holland I would have thought you would have said "de aantwoorden zijn altijd aal aanwesig" just before the girl you are trying that line on kicks you in the happy sacks...
Speaking of which, GT turns rounds and boots Timstone in the pampercity, and then nicks his TTG and locks it away.. Right Woundwort, the contract is signed, your vital organs are mine, go and set up the clone cantina, I will be along for an inspection shortly!! |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Right!
[offers quick bow, turns, and departs the Cantina.] |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Speaking of which, GT turns rounds and boots Timstone in the pampercity, and then nicks his TTG and locks it away..
Sneaky bastard... I'll find a way, just you wait. |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Revenge is sweet.
I called my credit card company Last night as they have unlawfully whacked some erroneous charges onto my bill which they shouldn't have (I am one of those girly swots who pays his bill off every month!!). They kept on putting me on hold meaning that for about half an hour Last night, I spent time listening to Neil Sedaka and John Denver!!! They asked me to get some info, so I put the phone down, put Rammstein's Feuer Frei on the stereo, put the phone next to the speaker and left them together for a few minutes. The chap on the phone was not appreciative at all. Petty, but it made me happy! |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Great move Tigga! Revenge is sooo sweet this way. Too bad you didn't had Dimmu Borgir or God Dethroned, you surely shocked the poor guy on the other side. Nontheless, nice!
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Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
The best revenge I ever had was on a bloke who wouldn't leave my girlfriend (now wife) alone. He had a porsche and thought he was Mr Cool.
We went to a festival where everybody was camping. He turns up, parks the car in the campsite and proceeds to join us in the beertent. Whilst he was in there, 20 of us snuck out and PICKED UP the porsche, moved it 50 yards and then put a house tent over the top of it. He spend 2 days looking for his car, and crying his eyes out. When everybody left the festival, only the house tent (anbd the porsche) was opn the field. He found his car eventually. Didnt see the joke, especially as one of the lads had deposited about 50 kgs of horse manure into the front seats... It couldn't have happended to a nicer bloke http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
[Woundwort drops in, overhears the conversation]
Remind me to drop my "taking percentage" of the profits a few points. You've got a nasty sense of humor. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif The work goes well, Boss. And the scuttlebutt I hear in Starfury sector is that they won't be up and running until the end of this month at the earliest [RL - release date 7/30/03], so there's plenty of time to get the Phong's Head there ready to rumble. |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
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He found his car eventually. Didnt see the joke, especially as one of the lads had deposited about 50 kgs of horse manure into the front seats... Oh, crap... |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Well Timstone, my motto is "dont get mad, get even"
and being a lawyer, do you want me to tell you about the builder who cocked up on the building job he was doing at my house? Let us just say I almost bankrupted him, ruined his professional reputation, lost him his posh home for a smaller one and basically set him back 10 years. If you try and stiff people, occassionally you will try it with the wrong person. I should add that I am not proud of that, but the bastard had stiffed quite a few people, and I felt I was the one best able to sort the little sod out. Hell hath no fury like a lawyer scorned. |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Wow! Shees, 10 years!! Freakin' hell!!!
Woah, that must have felt great to get even with scum like that. Although I can imagine you could feel a bit guilty for doing such a thing. Damn, remind me never to mess around with the wrong persons. Ehh... how do you recognise a wrong person? Haha... oh GT, can I have my TTG back? Please? |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
He has a point, revenge is sweet. Although even i feel guilty about some things i've done, but i've decided they were for a better good. however mine only go as far as personal injury and not to the extent of financial ruin!
Also Please Give Timstone his gearbox back, we have to torment Ragnarok much more, and sending him back in time to a 50's+ Old Hags brothel should do the trick... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Talking about revenge.
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Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Hey GT, if you dig anime music videos (basement productions mostly, but with occasional quality), there's a great one made of Gundam clips set to Rammstein's Feuer Frei. Just so you know.
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Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
[Woundwort re-enters the Cantina, looks up the Boss, and submits his status report]
The remodeling work on the new Cantina is going quite well. It should be quite a place once it's all done. I've downloaded the first batch of applicants. We have three guys looking for the bartender position... Ted Danson... Tom Cruise... and some Ferengi named Quark. Only Quark looks like he has any real potential, but I'm not too sure even of him. Oh, and Raging Deadstar wants a job in Security for the new place, too. [ July 12, 2003, 20:21: Message edited by: General Woundwort ] |
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