Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

AHHHHH I WAS IN SPANDEX!!!!!! *shudders*

FBW= Fluffy Bunny Waitresses i think, correct me if i'm wrong
Well mac should be drooling and was right. His colostomy bag is gonna be used *even bigger shudder*

[ October 01, 2002, 22:00: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">You shudder at the fact that you were in spandex. We all know the truth though. You love it, you think spandex is the best thing since sliced bread. Don't you?! You know what I hear? I hear that when beer gets on spandex, it shrinks even more! Rags then buys (cash, not tab) a Corona, he then nods at the FBW that gave it to him and turns around quickly and throws it on RD. RD then starts to gasp for air as the spandex that he had on under his clothes shrinks. He starts to squeal too as his tow package is taking the brut of the force. Rags then says: "HA! I knew it!"

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

Decides this is war for the 3rd time in 2 days. *Grabs Ragnarok, dresses him up in spandex, ties him up and hangs him from the roof like a Piñata or one of those things you tie up and beat with sticks. The FBW's proceed to take out a hoose pipe of cheap american beer and sprays rags with it, leaving him to turn blue and squeeze his "wedding tackle" to non-reproductive standards.
They then begin to beat the now helpless rags with sticks until he is even black and bluer. Rags is then take down and yet again put in the "Quasi Tachyon Disintegration Reversal Polarisation Cannon" and is naked yet again*

Deja Vu anyone?

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

puke comes out of the water closet, and looks about at the mayhem:

"i always thought spandex was best to be left on the ladies, (but not left on them for very long)."

puke pulls up a barstool and orders a rum and coke, leaving the rest of the room to wonder how he managed to pronounce a paranthetical statement.

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

Having easily outsprinted the middle aged hippies and lost them outside a health food shop on the other side of town, Dogscoff returns to the cantina in the Woodstock-esque outfit.

Since retro- fashions are all the rage at the moment, several of the FBWs come over to ask him about the cool clothes. When they express an interest in dressing up themselves, Dogscoff tells them that it was customary at rock festivals in the 60s for girls to strip naked and be painted up in peace symbols. Oh, and free love was very popular at the time, too.

Dogscoff retires to his battlemoon's penthouse continent with a bevy of FBWs and a big bucket of edible body paint.

Peace...

[ October 01, 2002, 12:11: Message edited by: dogscoff ]

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

Rags gets another outfit from his ship and puts it on. Man, 2nd one this week. At this rate I'll have to buy some more uniforms by next month. Yeesh. Still battered and bruised he walks back into the Cantina and finds RD sitting at a booth with 2 FBWs. He says; "Excuse me ladies, may I have a moment with this fellow?" The FBWs nodd and kiss RD goodbye and say that they'll be back on their dinner break. Rags sits down and says; "Ok, we're even man, I just couldn't resist the whole Spandex bit, but you got me back. What'll ya say? Truths?" RD nods in agreement and Rags extends his hand out to make it final on a shake. RD also extends and they shake, RD then starts to compulsivly(sp) jerk around. Rags lets go and he stops. Rags looks at his hand and laughs... Oh those ring buzzers never fail. They are such a classic device. Rags stands up and says; "No hard feelings eh. Let me buy you a beer." He then orders whatever RD wants that's under 200 minerals. He then happily walks out of the Cantina into his ship and flies off at ludicris speeds.

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

a large shepherd's crook appears from stage left, proceeds over the cantina and hoiks Dogscoff by the neck... Dogscoff is suddenly yanked back into the cantina...

"NO NO NO NO NO NO" says Growltigga, "You are not ruining another lots of FBW's by introducing them to free love and body paint and all that hippy sierra-club stuff"... "Do you realise how much those FBW's cost the cantina, wear and tear on G strings and feathers and all the rest?? I am not having any Tigg-Scoff employee harming my profit margin....."

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

RD, I most profusely apoligize for the mistake, you were not the misgotten individual that tried to abscond with one of GT's mugs, it was the Baron Grazic (see earlier post page 3 or 4), I did not mean to mismerch your impeccable reputation especially with your spandex fetish. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...s/rolleyes.gif I do hereby apoligize and profuse to buy you a brew or two as long as it doesn't go over 500 minerals.

Wardad, I read the article you linked involving my dream mate L.H. I must say, a photo would have been most appreciated in the column, however, it is always most appropoe to read tid bits in regards to herself. Suffice to say, I must just render myself to the L.H. look a like FBW's here in the cantina.... sigh.... but thks for the ariticle

PS, In regards to my colostomy bag, it has been replaced with a new Disfuser Polmer Refuse Distributor (DPRD for short) that makes it no longer necessary to engross upon the carrying of the old bag. Since this new modern technique has been but to use, I have mailed all my old used bags sealed in pLastic containers to GT, where I'm sure the aging Kat will put them to good use http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

just some ideas mac

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

As if on queue Baron Grazic finially works out how to move his finger into the inside of pants pocket to press his 'Re-atomiser' to transform himself back into, well, himself.

'Alright, I won't try that again. Now tell me where do I sign for to take my Mug home and give me a cold one while I wait'.

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">oh, so THATS what you're calling it now? there's really no need to share your silly little synonyms for pocket-pool with the rest of the Cantina patrons.

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">With a sly smerk Baron Grazic places both hands flat down on the Bar in open view, still in close reach of his new Cantina Mug just incase someone tries to steal it.

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

So Baron G, you ready to sign for that mug? I said it was free, but not free to steal!
GT requires you to sign the following large stack of forms...in triplicate. Ohh and there is a 20 mineral notory fee.
(Just wait till those fellows that won the kegs see what hoops THEY will have to jump through!)
- time fast forwards several hours -
See... wasn't that easy?? Now you have your very own Official Cantina Mug!

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

Thanks Taz, my first collectable.
Now how about getting my own FBW or better yet a dozen? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

Baron Grazic turns round at the polite tap on his shoulder and looks directly down the largest gun muzzle he has ever seen. At the end of the muzzle can be seen a pair of orange and black striped ears and a pair of beady squinting feline eyes...

Behind said beady eyes stands a large T-Rex in a valet jacket, strangley wearing a pair of tattered mickey mouse ears and holding a large revving chainsaw

"Baron, collectable cantina mugs you can have (subject to signing the appropriate accidental damage waiver and augmented indemnity and unlimited payment and 'commit your whole family into slavery' forms') BUT FBW's ARE NOT FOR SALE"

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

ANNOUNCEMENT TO THE CANTINA...

Chaps, chappesses, non-humans and anthropomorphic personifications of cartoon characters, lend me your ears (Note to Taz, put the steak and kidney pudding back on the menu!!)

I have resigned my employment at my current firm which means that at some point in the next few days/weeks/months (depending on when they boot me out), I will be going off air for an indeterminable period...

I do have a PC at home and shall be able to dial up occassionally (can't afford the call charges during peak time)..

This is just a warning to you all that if I suddenly disappear from the cantina, I will be back at some time in the future...

I appoint Dogscoff as my regent to act on my behalf (OK Dogscoff, you can have the battlemoon with the gold llame), Taz and Dogscoff, keep up the cartoon violence,

I will be back

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Aye aye sir.

*Dogscoff sits down and immediately a saw can be seen cutting a circle in the floor around Dogscoff's chair from beneath. The circle reaches completion, there is a minute pause, and then the entire cantina, with the exception of the circle of wood supporting Dogscoff, plummets out of view...

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

oh and Dogscoff and Taz, please note you are responsible for paying for any breakages due to your cartoon violence...

where the hell has the cantina gone?

Growltigga stares at Dogscoff sitting on his chair and pulling his best "I am innocent" face.. Growltigga whistles and Barry comes running up, Growltigga slips on his hunting pinks, climbs aboard Barry and blows his bugle, a horde of killer tigers, rabid mongooses, ravening giant squid, cartoon characters, FBW's and chorus girls charge up....

Dogscoff gulps and sprints off into the distance, pursued by the horde.....

TALLLLLLLLYYYYYYYY HHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

In best cartoon tradition, Dogscoff runs off screen to the right, and the hunting horde is then seen steaming in from the left. The pack passes by and tagging along at the end there is Dogscoff, in full hunting gear, halloooing and cheering with the rest of them...

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

and then in best Hanna Barbere tradition, the hunting horde screech to a halt, volte face and there is Dogscoff face to face with 27 irate tigers, 424 ravening mongoose, 6 extremely large calamari-surprises in the making and a chainsaw clutching T-rex mounted by a debonair Tiger carrying a bugle and a mashie niblick.....

the chase now goes right to left

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

I just walked into the new EVP's office and saw the 48"x30" new painting/copy of The Coronation of Napolean I hanging on the wall. The gilded frame was just enough to take it over the top.

Keep in mind that my company is struggling to survive and get investors to drop some cash in our coffers. I think this painting wont do much to help the cause.

Now I wish they had fired me two weeks ago so that didnt have to see this.

<~sigh~>
Trajan

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

Dogscoff scarpers across the screen, turning a corner and colliding with a very expensive looking gilt framed painting of Napoleon, so that his head is poking through the canvas at the point where Napoleon's head should be.

Suitably disguised, he awaits the Hunters, who duly stop to ask "Hey Napolean, did you see Dogscoff come through here?" Dogscoff just points down the hall and walks casually back in the other direction, while the horde storms away...

[ October 02, 2002, 16:01: Message edited by: dogscoff ]

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

before Growltigga reminds the hunt that Napoleon shuffled off this mortal coil almost 200 years ago....

The hunt reverses and charges after the now visible Dogscoff....

TALLLYYYY HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Growltigga wanders if his uncle Alp Alsan is around at the moment

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

Dogscoff hurries around another corner (having run past the same bit of furniture 13 times in the style of Hanna Barabara cartoons=-) and finds himself at a dead end. He produces a pot of paint and hurriedly paints an open window onto the wall. He hops through the window to freedom.

The hunting horde rounds the corner and leap to go through the window, and all pile up messily as they hit the solid wall. Barry is Last, with Growltigga on his back desperately trying to persuade him to stop. Unfortunately, T-Rex's aren't very clever (brains the size of peas, you know) and he too tries to jump through the window, hits the wall (and hitting GT's head on the ceiling) and crashes down on top of the dazed hunting party, squashing them all flat. Little birds appear to fly tweeting in a ring above the pile. Tigga sits atop the whole mess, rubbing his head and cursing.

Dogscoff sticks his head back in through the window and sticks his tongue out with a road-runner sound effect and then disappears.

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

With a boing, the hunting party all reinflate to normal size, Growltigga gets out his magic pen and draws a door on the wall which, heyho, opens to allow the possee egress to Dogscoff...

Dogscoff is sprinting ahead, just a Growltigga, in true cartoon fashion, rings up ACME and orders one of their express '16 ton weight' airdrop service specials, the weight falls directly on top of a worried looking Dogscoff...

SPLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!

Growltigga, being of heroic proportions, lifts up the weight and a severely flattened Dogscoff, little fat feet sticking out either side and a pair of beady eyes on top, shuffles out from under the 26 ton weight, just in time for Barry to sit on him

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

Trajan reaches into the Napolean painting, snatches the Pope's hat, dusts off Barry, and puts the hat on his head.

Barry smiles, scoops up Tigga using his head and tosses him back on his shoulders.

Snatching a trumpet from the painting, Trajan blows a note to signal the start of the chase anew.

The hunting pack leaps through the hole in the wall, neatly made by Barry's rather solid head, and continues the chase.

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

Trajan Did you ask your boss if he would have a picture of A.H. behind his desk... If it was in 150 years from now....

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

The EVP left the painting in the office after we had all left Last night. Today he is in Atlanta scrounging up some more investor cash, so nobody has been able to ask him about it....yet.

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Tjeez, haven't you heard of portable black holes (Who framed Roger Rabbit?)?! Those things are great! Your enemies never know where you went when you use one of these babies.

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

Grunmbling, Dogscoff re-inflates himself with a foot pump and addresses 'Tigga.

D: "Why are you chasing me anyway, I forgot?"
GT: "You lost the cantina. Someone sawed a hole in the floor and the whole cantina vanished, remember?"
D: "Yeah, but I'm not at fault. It's whoever was holding the saw you should be chasing. Hold on, what's that on your fur... is that... sawdust?"

The entire huntung party turns on 'Tigga, who looks rather sheepish and then starts running. Dogscoff grabs a hunting hat, jumps up onto an elephant and leads the charge.
D: "We're going on a Tigga hunt! HAALLLLOOOOOOO!!!"

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

Rags opens the Cantina doors and steps in, only to fall 20 + feet to the bottom of the pit. A loud thump is heard and Boards and debris continue to fall on him. He sticks his arm out and says; "I'm ok!" He finally gets himself out of the mess and orders a brewski and sits back to watch the cartoon violence that's going on this morning. "Wow, someone finally caught Tigga doing bad things... Tisk Tisk Tigga, you should know better then that!"

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

Timstone: Wow, like the avatar=-)

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon6.gif

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

Wow, thanks Dogscoff! I made it myself.
There will come a better Version of it, but that will have to wait untill I can find the time for it to produce.

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

Growltigga, mortally offended at the loose allegiances of the hunting party, pulls out his "I dont think this is Kansas Toto" equaliser and pushes the big red button marked "Dont push"

As Dogscoff, mounted on his elephant and the rest of the hunting party charge towards him, Dogscoff fails to notice the growing shadow around him, with a crunch, a "better than new" cantina lands right on top of his head... the rest of the hunting party scatter in terror as Growltigga walks up to the door of the cantina and opens it, erutping through the floorBoards of the dancefloor is a rather flattened Dogscoff.

Growltigga takes a fork and stabs Dogscoff all over to prevent reinflation by use of pump.. Growltigga further puts a sign round Dogscoff's next saying "punchball - 50 minerals a bash"

the queue is already forming

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

Hmmm maybe i should get back at dogscoff for the whole 80's thing, nah he'll come after me.

Anyway, i like my boxers baggy lol, spandex would be so annoying lol http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Hmm thank you mac, my reputation is impecable, or however you spell it, anyway i'm sure you wouldn't mind seeing say liz hurly in spandex (or even better pvc)
*Mac is positively drooling at this thought*

Sits down, smiles at ragnarok who is still walking funny after the whole spandex incident!

Rags, i was getting kissed by FBW's and they were coming back round for lunch, doesn't GT have laws against that, as long as it's all legal and i don't get hunted by gt i'm ok with that!!!

[ October 02, 2002, 18:38: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

Not spandex, not PVC, but LATEX!!!!!
That's the stuff where you put a woman in if you like her figure and want to drewl at her every time she walks.

Oh baby, I hate to see you leaving, but I love to see you walking! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

Hey timstone, that avatars from that anime gundam wing isn't it?? Trying to pull a fast one over us all ey???

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

It looks like an animated jump gate sequence from B5...IMHO

Cheers!
Trajan

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

who the hell cares about animated jump sequences from B5 for Nicholas Parson's sake, let's tak about wet-look PVC and salmon pink rubber catsuits with hoods

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Tigga, get your head out of the gutter already. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

out of the gutter, what a horrid idea. (puke jumps headlong into same, in order to keep GTs head company).

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

GrowlTigga you forgot to mention the Gryphin Position, (or does that go without saying)?

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

Gryphin, believe me, I am desparately trying to forget ever hearing about the Gryphin Position.. I tried it and couldn't sit down for a week and thinking about it, I havn't seen the cat around for ages....

Puke, welcome to the gutter. The day my head is lifted from the gutter is the day I hope to be dead and buried.. I like the gutter and I am very happy there

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

RD: Trajan is right.

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

gryphin how is the map coming ?? Were all ready to start

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

tesco, please check your PM

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Mobile Suit Gundam is one of the greatest franchises in the history of Anime, and you dirty it by mentioning that slipshod "Wing" garbage?

Puke throws a peanut at Raging Deadstar.

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

No i don't watch it, my sisters do, i have had to sit through numerous hours of the cartoon and the avatar looked simmilar, i was waiting for stargate to start.

*Is almost blinded by pukes peanut. (that sounds so wrong)*

HEY!!

*walks up to puke and shouts peanut!, the trapdoor from above opens and puke is buried in a pile of peanuts.*

Couldn't help but bring up the whole trapdoor and fruit thing

*joins gt and the pile of peanuts that is puke and puts his head in the gutter*
Room for another sick mind? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif At this rate we might need another gutter, anyway, nothing really beats thinking about fbw's/hot women in latex and stuff

[ October 03, 2002, 19:03: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

ah, your Kung-Fu is strong, ye who realizes that nuts are fruit.

Puke wrestles himself out of the pile of shelled, honey roasted nuts (packing a handfull in his gullet while they're available) and walks over to RD. "FRUIT," shouts Puke, and quickly steps out of the way.

A cascade of middleaged overweight homosexual men, scantily clad in leather, tumble down upon Raging Deadstar. Barry rushes in with a large push broom, and ushers the entire pile out of the Cantina.

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

Ahhh, the force is strong with this one.

*Pack of gay homosexuals who are chasing RD finally surround him*

RD must think quick. he whispers something to the mob, something about puke and being bigger, all the men turn round drooling and chase after puke.

RD sits down, still sore from the whole spandex incident, still confused why he had spandex on http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...s/confused.gif

"It's the Last time I'm using the universal laundrette!"

Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
 

You Village People!!