Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
 

Bad mozzarella is awful but good mozzarella is ... not bad I suppose. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

However a good 4 cheese pizza is food of the gods!

Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
 

Growltigga. Once upon a solar alignment I actually managed to eat a food the Catholic church would reform the Inquisition for...

"Donner Kebab Pizza."

It wasn't as bad as I imagined, and I'm still alive. Although I think maybe my soul was destroyed in the process. (I was sober too whilst eating it.)

Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
 

Ashton enters the bar again, flanked by an army of Meerese. As Ashton makes his way to one of the tables, one of the Meerese trips, and goes flying across the bar. It picks itself up and quickly goes back into formation, embarrased for ruining NullAshton's dramatic entrance.

What's up?

Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
 

Clearly one of your Meerese! *ba-da-boom*

Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
 

No drumroll's, please...

Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
 

Then how do you musically mark a cheesy pun?

Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
 

with a rimshot. ba-dum CHING!

Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
 

I think I'll stick with the riffle of durms and cymbal crash if it's all the same.

Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
 

Ba-dum-pum. Chaaa!

Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
 

See! That's what I'm talking about.

Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
 

Those are overrated, and is not needed if something is actually FUNNY.

Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
 

That's why I specified 'cheesy' puns.

Hell even good puns need musical celebration. It's the law, didn't you know that?

Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
 

Most of us don't follow the law, so why would we care?

Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
 

back when they were available, i would often snack on planters cheese balls. they came in a cardboard can with a plastic lid and a tin bottom. the plastic lid and tin bottom made a perfect surface for improvising a drum-roll and cymbal hit.

my friends hated me.

Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
 

Not a country law, a universal law. Like the law of ninja competence or Kirk-Fu beating any enemy.

Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
 

Well, personally, a good cheesy pun needs to be celebrated with a Marx Bros-esque "wahhh wahhh wah wahhhhhhhhhhhhh"..

A small ker-ching, cymbal crash or cow horn is also acceptable.

Raging Deadstar, donner kebab pizza, sober or drunk, ir a disgusting annd horrid spectacle, and exactly the sort of thing I would expect from a Labour voting smelly Cumbrian oik like yourself!!

Cheese balls? I didn't know they had any!!

Anyone remember frazzles and those foul scampi snacks?

Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
 

frazzles? scampi?

not on this side of the pond...

Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
 

Scampi fries are without doubt the worlds finest snack. You are missing a treat. The only bad thing I can say about them is that they should sell them in far larger sized bags.

Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
 

El Phil

What about the fact that scampi fries smell like the most godawful stench on the planet, and leave your fingers yellow...

I actually know a joke about this but it is too rude to post

Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
 

hmm.. i would guess that it is similar to a joke about cheetos. they stain your hands an unnatural shade of orange.

Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
 

RD sits down in the cantina feeling quite relaxed.

I'm having one of my guilty pleasures days. Just finished watching a combination of Good TV.
Sharpe
Farscape
Indiana Jones And the Last Crusade.

This is what Sunday was made for. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
 

Not the world's most sophisticated joke, but funny I'll grant you.

Given I have an awful sense of smell I really can't comment on Scampi Fries. And they are the world's tastiest bar snack.

Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
 

Nahh, the world's tastiest bar snack, and something you would never dream of eating at home or without the benefit of a few beers, is the PORK SCRATCHING.

Possibly the most vilest unhealthy and overall nasty edible item in the universe. The sort of thing that even Jabba would avoid for his health.

Still taste good after a few scoops of ale, especially if you go to one of them posh west country pubs where they put a pickled egg in the packet as well.

This upsets your digestive system so much that you probably contravene the geneva convention

Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
 

a pork scratching that is a packet? what exactly is this? and who purports to poshery, whom serves pickled eggs?

we have pork skins here, which are deep fried and flavored bits of piggy flesh. sort of the consistancy of puffed-rice, but crunchier and greasier. and porkie-er.

Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
 

I think I've seen every single 'old' farscape episode. Turns out there was a marathon for weeks on end, so I just watched them all http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...ies/tongue.gif

Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
 

good effort on the Farscape marathon NullAshton, although I would reccomend that you take up sport and get a girlfriend (says the man who cannot wait for his wife to go away for a weekend so that I can sit down and watch series 3 of B5 back to back!!)

Puke, that sounds like pork scratchings, although they are not like puffed rice, but more just solid salty bits of pig skin and fat that sit on your stomach like a really horrible vindaloo (from the Rupali Restaurant, Bigg Market, Newcastle-Upon-Tyne)

Pickled eggs may be a pecularity to England. They are eggs pickled in vinegar. Nuff said. Taste like crap, go through your system like crap, and you can still smell them 3 days after you have eaten them.

Probably the best kickstart for the bowel bugle or trouser trumpet I know (even better than baked beans)

Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
 

If you want something to get your intestinal system moving, try pickled habenero peppers... You'll feel one of those suckers burning in your intestine as it's moving through you...and I'm not going to even get started on what kind of burning you get when one of those baby's leaves! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...es/redface.gif

Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
 

you know, i have had some really good pickled habeneros that were stuffed inside green olives. quite tasty. flaming hot.

eat ice-cream afterwards, it helps it move through your bowles!

Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
 

well, from what I've been told, Puke's secret Chili and Tesco's secret Chili, Pack more of a wallop then any of them.
http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...ies/tongue.gif

Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
 

Actually, the best thing to try and do for a lavatorial experience you will never forget is to do what I did a few weeks back.

Went out at lunchtime for a couple of beers, and had a steak and kidney pudding (in suet) with all the trimmings. Followed that with a couple of beers, and then some chocolate cake, and then more beers, then a curry in the evening with some pickled eggs in a pub, followed by a kebab.

The next morning comprised a three hour marathon and several rolls of loo paper before even an acceptable level of bottomly hygience could be attained.

Is this thread getting a bit gross?

Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
 

Let's take our thread to new frontiers!

Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
 

Ashton bends his knees and looks pained for a few seconds, then a massive explosion of gasses grants him escape veolcity.

me, shouting "Well? How does the Final Frontier look like?"

Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
 

STOP PLAYING WITH THAT CLONING MACHINE! Please, we already have enough insane people in here.

Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
 

Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
 

The bar backroom. The final frontier. These are the piss heads of the Bar & Grill, their continuing mission to taste strange new bar snacks, to seek out new beers and new chasers, to boldly get more drunk than anyone has ever been before!

Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
 

its actually quite difficult to maintain an optimal level of drunkenness. as your inhibitions go, the "one more!" syndrome becomes inescapable.

The trick is, i believe, to have just enough. and then to pace the rest out to one every 30-60 minutes, so that you neither clean up nor get tanked.

of course, this is something i will probably never manage, being bereft of any form of self control.

Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
 

Ashton presses a button milliseconds before the wedgie is given, switching spatial positions between him, and Strategia. Strategia is then given an atomic wedgie by his own minion.

Ouch, that can't be good for your health. Want a Red Hot Poker Cannon to go with that?

Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
 

I totally agree. It's a tough thing to manage...

Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
 

/me takes out a pulse rifle and blasts Ashton into oblivion, leaving only a scorchmark on the wall, with his (it's) outline clearly visible.

Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
 

Growltigga has been busy behind the bar, frantically scoffing pickled eggs, pork scratchings, marmite and soft boiled eggs and sauerkraut.

He whips off his trousers, puts on a gas mask, sticks his backside over the bar, points it at Strategia and NullAshton and lets rip.

The resulting blast of marsh gas and semi fermented sickly foods catapults all denizens out of the door and frankly leaves the cantina inhabitable for many years..

The FBWs all feint, and GT is awarded a medal for the multi-tonal twenty second rendition of God Save the Queen on Botty Burp machine....

GT hastally puts his kecks back on and retreats behind the bar (again).

Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
 

Another clone dead... Why do you always have to try to shoot me?

Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
 

I didn't shoot you, just asphyxiated you with some really stinky and noxious trouser trumpet related shennanigans

Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
 

I was talking to Strategia. I'm going to stay out of here a while, while the fumes you released dies down...

Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
 

hey, that sounded like a rendition of Sid Vicious's version of God Save the Queen. I didnt think they gave medals for that one.

Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
 

Puke, they do give medals for national anthems when played through one's bottom....

Now, please can we all be upstanding for my multi-tonal august rendition of La Marseilles

Bum bum bum bum bum bum bummmmmm bum bum
Bum bum bum bummmmmmm
BUm bum bummmmmm
Phhhwwwweeeeeetttttttttt

Such range, such timbre

Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
 

Ashton tosses a match into the bar, igniting the fumes. Growltigger now has most of his hair/fur on fire...

Methane is fun http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
 

Hey the Marseilles with fireworks

Growltigga's backside takes on the aspect of a French Mirage fighter kicking in to afterburnerrrrr

Da daaaaaaaa
Da da da da da
da da da bum titty ti bum
Au secours, mon derriere est flambe
Au secours, mon touche il est flamard
Alors, alors, merde zut alors......
Telephone la Pompierssss immediatement
Merde, vive la France

NullAshton ducks as the Gallic Grande Chat flambees him with a blast of superhot lit chuff gas

Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
 

*SuicideJunkie wanders in with a new arcade machine and sets it up in the corner:
http://free.hostdepartment.com/K/Kat...bat-Heaven.swf

As it bleeps to life, the High Score table shows SJ with 12.2 million points.

Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
 

Now that's why I keep shooting you..... you won't stop BUGGERING me!!!!!

Strategia takes out a pulse rifle, screws on a sniper scope and silencer, then takes aim for NA's errm..... dangly bits and squeezes the trigger. NA's eyes grow to the size of dinner plates, his mouth falls open and a high-pitched whine emerges from his throat.

"So much for reproduction, eh?"

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...ies/tongue.gif

Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
 

GT, what did you say about Bud beer?