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Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
NullAshton sneaks in, hooking up an Infinite Improbability Generator up to the bar's power supply, activated whenever someone opens a door. He then sneaks away again.
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Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
Fyron opens the main Cantina door and walks inside. As the most improbable event, the Infinite Improbability Generator suddenly spontaneously combusts and a new, non-hackneyed plot device emerges.
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The Evil Returneth!
"Yes, it's been quite a while since I was last here," the figure spoke in a clear voice, "I believe the last time I peeked in here you were discussing about Beethoven....." Having spoken these words, the figure - now identified by everyone as Strategia, the person who tried to destroy the Cantina on at least three or four separate occasions - walked to the front door at a calm pace.
Having reached the door, he opened it - which was followed by a large BANG as two hundred thousand monkey-shaped party balloons appeared out of nowhere and tried to cram themselves past the tall, still slightly dishevelled-looking man in the doorway. Activating a portable Unprobability Field generator, which disabled the Infinite Improbability Generator for the time being, he reached into his coat and pulled out an old, slightly dented weapon. Lifting his head up, he adressed everybody in the bar in a calm voice - or, as calm as a voice could possibly be, when its owner was simultaneously trying to prevent two hundred thousand simian balloons from passing him. "Yes..... an old favorite of mine. I remember the days when it saw a lot of action..... Days which, I hope, will soon return....." With that, he brushed a speck of dust off the plasma launcher's barrel and lifted it up. Quickly, he took a step back and opened fire. The first shot vaporized about fifty thousand of the squealing rubber animals, leaving a large open space which was rapidly filled with twice as many floating monkeys. A Gibbon balloon was trying to squeeze a Chimpanzee balloon back through the doorway, while simultaneously being repeatedly hit by an Orang-Utan balloon. A low hum was rising, quickly filling the entire bar. A split second later, the second, far more powerful plasma shot caused a blinding flash of red light as it sprang from the barrel. Hitting the Gibbon balloon head-on, it disappeared into its left nostril before exploding. The fortress-buster plasma bullet caused an explosion so profoundly huge, that the Cantina shook, and a car could be heard trying to engage the upper balconies of a nearby flat in polite conversation. With the monkeys gone, Strategia stepped outside, coat billowing as the last flows of air caused by the explosion died down. A low growl could be heard, and heavy footsteps approached the figure. "Down!" he said in a commanding voice, clearly displaying the plasma launcher. A whimper was clearly heard, and heavy but cautious footsteps indicated Barry was backing away. "I think it's time I raised another army..... Hmm..... Let's see..... Mutated cheeses haven't been deployed yet, if I'm not mistaken....." could be heard as Strategia was walking to his shuttle..... |
Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
NullAshton scratches his head in his ship a good distance away from the Bar and Grill, wondering why the Bar and Grill suddenly turned into a floating D&D dungeon.
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Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
Hi, is this place still open for business? It's been kind of quiet... I hope they still have good food and friendly FBW's here. And the occasional violence! Hmm, I wonder if saying certain words still cause a pile of stuff to fall from the sky. Not going to try it yet, though.
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Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
Well I asked for a Phongsicle tommorow and it's just appeared, so I guess the temporal penguins are still working in the kitchens.
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Re: Phong\'s Head Bar and Grill
With Kamog sitting at a table, having a chilled EEEguerita, Phil looking at his Phongsicle inquiringly and the two green slits having retreated further into the darkness, peace has returneth to the Cantina, though the remnants of the last battle can still be seen; the bodies of barley, hops and dust bunnies, as well as calmly chewing cows, litter the floor. Ashton proceeds to the bathroom and promptly slips on a cow-pie (or cow-petit four, regarding the fact that the cows are 6 inches tall), falling bodily into a largish puddle of the stuff. Cursing, he gets up and resumes his journey.
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Re: Phong\'s Head Bar and Grill
Ashton quickly has pay-back. A group of 5 Daleks, recently aquired by NullAshton, enter the Bar and Grill, looking for Strategia. Once he is found, they go towards him menacingly. Strategia tries to shoot them with his plasma cannon, but his bolts dissapate harmlessly off the armor. "Ex-ter-min-ate" was uttered by the Daleks as one of then reaches out with a plunger-like device as Strategia backs up. Muffled screaming can be heard as the Dalek goes towards the bathroom, with even more screaming heard once the men's bathroom door is closed.
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Re: Phong\'s Head Bar and Grill
El Phil looks on at the gently vibrating toilet block
I knew the plumbing in there was bad, but this is ridiculous. Subtly El Phil checks that his army of furry beasts are ready to drop pod in at a moment notice, if the need arises. Or it seems a funny idea at the time. |
Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
Suddenly, the bathroom door blasts open and out comes Strategia, eyes glowing yellow. The daleks are falling over themselves trying to flee.
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Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
That's what I get for buying the used daleks...
Ashton goes to persuade Phil to release the furry beats on Strategia. |
Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
shaking his head, the yellow glow disappears from Strategia's eyes.
"Phew. Somebody must've slipped a drop of The Abomination into that mineral water. That gives me an idea....." talking into a comms device, Strategia returns to the safety of the bathroom. Moments later, the Cantina entrance bursts open as all surviving Salagull veterans come flying through. Wildly trying to avoid the shots fired from patrons' pistols, they unleash their payloads, and gallon upon gallon of The Unnamable Brew rains down upon the patrons, who start to dissolve..... |
Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
Ashton whistles as he takes out a pocket Infinite Improbability Generator, and presses the big red button on it. The Salagull veterans mysteriously turns into canned grape sodas, and fall to the ground harmlessly. He then decides to stay in the bar, ready to press the button again.
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Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
A small 'click' is heard coming from El Phil's pocket There is a pregnant pause.....
Nothing happens and the patrons let out their held breath. Then the roof of the cantina caves in as several dozen drop pods smash through it. Each pod bursts open to reveal a squad of heavily armed pandas carrying plungers and large bags. As one they rush into the toilets. As the dust settles on the side of the pods the immortal legend "Emergency Plumbers" can dimly be made out. |
Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
SJ walks in carrying a large package, and goes about unpacking it near his personal table. As the dust clears, a plaque can be seen on the wall, bearing a dark coloured, slightly inconspicuous feline head.
SJ sits below, grinning as if a 4th-place replacement player had, in a single turn, managed to slaughter 75% of the first place player's military in a PBW game. A round of Brewskis for everyone, on me! |
Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
Most impressive, SJ, but I'm afraid it just isn't quite up to my standards for causing mayhem from an initially inferior position. Why, I was all the way down at 10th place when I joined...
Douglas wanders off, lost in musings about turn 2409.6 of PBW game Shattered Hopes with its 29 "Star Destroyed" log messages http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/cool.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...ies/tongue.gif |
Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
Hehe, that was sweet.
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Re: The Evil Returneth!
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Re: The Evil Returneth!
And now, almost 70 turns later, it's me vs Glyn and we both launch major attacks exactly simultaneously. This is going to be... interesting. Hmm, I do have the speed advantage thanks to Propulsion Experts, so I could track down and destroy his fleet eventually, but all the fighting would be in my space. My economy can take some major hurt though, and I might end up with a significant fleet left to attack a comparatively defenseless foe. On the other hand, his economy can't take anywhere near as much damage as mine can, so mutual destruction might favor me... This is going to require serious thought. Now if only I'd waited just one more turn... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/frown.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/frown.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/frown.gif
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Re: Gravity Shielding!
The Kyoryu Imperium donates a system gravitational shield to the B&G, so that douglas and his fleet of sun crushers shall not damage this fine facility. Now gimme free drinks.
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Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
*Strategia promptly nukes the shield-gen using his orbital plasma launchers. Douglas is seen with a big evil grin across his face.*
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Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
The reality police walk in. They don't look very happy. Their gaze crosses the room until they find their target. Moving as one they reach out and drag Strategia away for 'nuking' something with plasma based weaponry.
"Now now son. Don't fight, your just making things worse for yourself." Kicking and screaming Strategia is dragged from the Cantina. |
Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
While kicking and screaming, Strategia accidentally (suuuuuure) kicks Phil in the head. Phil then clutches his lower abdomen in pain, and is also dragged out, mainly because of his nit-picky behaviour regarding nuking stuff with plasma launchere..
By the way, plasma is an atomic weapon of sorts; it consists of superheated ionized atoms, i.e. nuclei, so it is a nuclear weapon. You can nuke something with plasma launchers. End of argument. For having proven his statement to be right, the Reality Police release Strategia after questioning, though not without subjecting him to a full cavity search. Phil is not so lucky however..... |
Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
Does something undergo fission, or fusion? Nope.
Strategia is re-arrested and placed in reality jail for twice as long, since he tried bribing the police. Phil is set free. |
Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
Indeed Phil is not as lucky as Strategia.. He is far more lucky and recieves a sincere apology and his own weight in gold as compensation for false arrest. To top it off it he then wins the Regulus System lottery. This can only mean one thing:
"Brewskis all round!" As Strategia is hauled away in a reality police prison van a faint cry can be heard, even through the thick, thick armour. "I'll get you next time Phil! Next time!!!!" |
Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
Wooo, free brewski's! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif I'm there.
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Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
Free brewski? I'm not sure what a brewski is, but sure, I'll drink it. I'm guessing that it's something like beer and it's hard to say no when it's free.
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Re: The Evil Returneth!
With a resounding SPLORCH, the Reality Prison explodes, everything and everybody inside reduced to gooey bubbly rubble, save for a single figure standing in the blast's centre.
"PHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIL!!!!!" the figure screams at the top of his lungs. Three seconds later, a fighter swoops down to pick Strategia up and return him to his Mothership, to plan his gruesome revenge..... |
Re: The Evil Returneth!
Free brewskies? *Grumbles, and sits at RD's table* The usual fare for me.
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Re: MUUWAAHAAHAA!
NullAshton classifies Strategia as armed and dangerous, and a fleet of Beamer dreadnaughts zoom in through a recently opened warppoint, to surround Strategia's battleship, which was recently captured by crew insurrection.
Surrender your weapons, and yourself, right now, or our troops will attack! |
Re: MUUWAAHAAHAA!
AUs from the battle Phil smiles at a FBW and gets another drink in. The toilet door swings open and the armed Plumdas amble out reporting that the plumbing has been repaired. They climb into their drop pods and return to their orbiting white van.
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Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
Quote:
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Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
That is totally untrue.
Atoms which have been ionized form a plasma. IE: the electrons have been stripped off. Plasma is a soup of nuclei and independent electrons, fusion and fission have nothing to do with it. - The temperatures required for fusion in the sun are hot enough to make it all into plasma, but plasma does not imply nuclear reactions of any sort. |
Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
No it isn't. Not even a little bit. Your confusing two concepts there. If your doing magnetic containment fusion then yes you need a plasma. However a plasma isn't fusion.
Plasma is a ionised gas. Nothing more. Hell lightning strikes produce plasma as do arc welders. Are you claiming that we could just scrub nuclear fusion research and use a few arc welders to power the world? |
Re: Gravity Shielding!
Ah hell. All we need to do is begin to actually produce significant amounts of anti-matter. Current worldwide production per year is currently miniscule, but I was reading in Astronomy magazine that a quarter of an ounce of antimatter would provide sufficient energy to power all the world's lightbulbs for 20 days. Now that is a power source!
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Re: Gravity Shielding!
Quote:
It's the same problem with using hydrogen as car fuel - it makes an excellent energy storage medium, but unless you can find large amounts of it in a usable state in nature, it's useless as an energy source. Sure, hydrogen is the most abundant element in the universe. It is rather less abundant on Earth, and most of it is in various compounds, such as oil and water. |
Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
True. Every energy "source" on the planet is actually utilizing solar radiation.
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Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
That, or supernova shrapnel.
*A small energy disturbance appears near the bar before fizzling out. After a few more tries, it finally blossoms into a misty blue warppoint, and the faint smell of coconuts and ocean spray begins to waft through. |
The.... other place
Wasn't there a rule against advertising rival drinking establishments? As I recall the consequences of breaking it involved the evil doer in question, an enraged Yak, a copy of "Angling Times", a standard 300 Volt EEE cattleprod and a large baying mob.
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Re: The.... other place
Its hardly a rival.
More like another franchise in the chain. Besides, I merely gave Renegade the antique warppoint opener. He's the one who used it. |
Re: The.... other place
Eee cattleprods? I gotta get my hand on one of those... Are you sure 300 volts is high enough?
Anyway, for the antimatter, just find a warppoint to a nearby anti-matter jet. Problem solved! Of course, the revised Geneva Treaty bans anti-matter weapons, if I remember correctly. Those people who have those anti-matter torpedos are breaking this treaty, and should be destroyed. Besides, anti-matter torpedos suck. |
Re: The.... other place
Quote:
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Re: The.... other place
Yes but Quantum torps are hardly much better. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif
Anyway SJ could be done for the entrapment of Renegade, which sounds somewhat unpleasent if you ask me. I don't know, promoting a rival chain, entraping an innocent(ish http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif Canadian. Your crimes just keep racking up SJ. I hope you have a good lawyer. |
Re: The.... other place
Who needs a lawyer when you can just not fake your own death. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...ies/tongue.gif
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Re: The.... other place
Turin is inexplicably drawn to, and saunters meaningfully toward the smell of salt air and piņa colada...
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Re: The.... other place
Hearing about "Free Brewskis", the wizen old one saunders into the establishment, looks at everyone, waves, staggers over to his table and orders a few free brewskis, Now this is the way to start the day he yells as a FBW brings him his order, ahhhh, he mutters as he swigs the lst one down. He slowly looks around making sure that his arch pizza thief is not if sight and seeing the grey one not here, orders a pizza... then sits back to watch the shananigans going on....
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Re: The.... other place
even free beer comes with a price. as the bar tender begins to draw a pint, a horrible stream of bile begins to gush fourth from the tap. He tries to shut of off, but it remains open until it has disgourged a sizeable mass of quickly-congealing vomit.
The newly formed pile blinks, and looks about the room; puke is here. |
Re: Phong\'s Head Bar & Grill
When bile blinks, that's when you know you've had way way way too much of...something.
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Re: The.... other place
Quote:
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Re: The.... other place
This sounds like a job for.... Plumdas!
The newly repaired roof caves in, again, as a drop pod hurtles down from the orbiting white van. The PlumbingPandas head straight for the cellar to check the beer supply taps. The sound of vicious fighting errupts from under the Cantina. The occasional scream and whimper tear through the air. "Of course RD is very protective of his brewski supplies. I suppose I should have remembered that." |
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