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-   -   The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut (http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/showthread.php?t=22726)

douglas February 17th, 2005 05:39 PM

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 
The combined Legions of Heaven and Hell find themselves unable to manifest until the stasis field collapses to just the Hut and immediate vicinity. During this brief period, the troops defending the Hut manage to inflict substantial wounds upon AZ and the three Horsemen. Within half a second after the field collapses, Petey notices the apparent teleportation being done, verifies with a few test 'ports that teraporting works again, and launches a full volley of terapedoes. The ensuing destruction is incredible, and yet carefully limited to the FB&G forces by very precise placement and explosive power adjustments of each terapedo.

douglas February 17th, 2005 05:41 PM

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 
Petey notices the battlecruiser on a collision course with the Hut well before it impacts, and directs a dozen terapedoes to cooperatively teraport it to the sun before it reaches the boundary of the stasis field.

Strategia_In_Ultima February 17th, 2005 05:42 PM

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 
Meanwhile, far far away, in the secret spaceyards of the fleet of the Independent Democracy of New Haven, the USS Strategia II is finished. It is an improved version of even the Peacekeeper COMCA, with the PK ship weighing in at about 200-250MT, while the new ship - built into a largish Sphereworld - comprises about 1GT, using a compressed quantum/chroniton hyperdimensional singularity as a power source, with shields connecting ALL universes IN EXISTENCE to each other.

It's prototypical FTL Core MkII is being tested,... and zips the massive DCOMCA (Dyson sphere Command Carrier, as the hull is nothing more than a Dyson sphere.) right into the battle zone. A first blast from the quartairy PDCs annihilates much of the northern hemisphere, taking GT's legions with it.

Fortunately, the Brown Tentacle Rectal Hospital was located on an artificial island in the Southern Arctic, and all Hut patrons had just come to visit RudyHuxtable to see how he was doing and if he could crap again or not.

There. Now the FCB&G is annihilated, unless it was located somewhere in Rio - which I for some reason sincerely doubt.

Jack Simth February 17th, 2005 05:51 PM

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 
Leaving his destroyed flesh behind, Jack has an encounter with death.

Death: "You AGAIN?!"

Jack: "So, are you going to try and keep up form, or have you given up after all these innumerable attempts?"

Death: "I think I'm done."

Death then walks away, while Jack builds a new body for his own habitation from scattered atoms. He then re-establishes the gateway between the hut and a nearby material plane. (After all, everyone was blowing it up from OUTSIDE; all anyone actually hit was the interface. Inside the bubble universe, damage to inanimate objects is quickly rectified by the bubble universe itself, and so only really affects the patrons & staff. In other words, Zero, no need to worry about storytelling your way out of being inside the hut when it got blasted. Sealing the primary demension simply isolated the Hut from that plane of existance.)

NullAshton February 17th, 2005 06:01 PM

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 
My B-Destroyers have 4 type V PDC's on them, so they can blast away any debris that would land on it. Plus, they can use themselves as a shield, with 3750 phased shield points and 1000 or so hull points.

Strategia_In_Ultima February 17th, 2005 06:09 PM

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 
Erm... Jack. Your bubble universe has long been demolished.

NullAshton February 17th, 2005 06:10 PM

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 
Petey saved the hut! Yay!

Strategia_In_Ultima February 17th, 2005 06:13 PM

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 
PETEY?!?!? In case you hadn't noticed, Petey now comprises (or comprised) the roof covering of the structure in which the Hut was placed. And as I said, all patrons were down south with mr. Huxtable... so the peeps up north were just dimensional clones. Also, almost the entire Northern Hemisphere has been blasted away, so there is absolutely nothing left of the area where the Hut stood.

NullAshton February 17th, 2005 06:16 PM

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 
Actually that was a gate-clone. Yay plot-loops!

Jack Simth February 17th, 2005 06:18 PM

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 
Quote:

StrategiaInUltima said:
Erm... Jack. Your bubble universe has long been demolished.

Not quite; it was ordered (by a politician - how often do those orders to the general public actually get done?), blasting had been accomplished with "normal" weapons at the site, and wanton destruction was done on both sides of the interface - but nothing attacked the pocket universe itself (at best, the seal might have severed the connection between). I might have missed something; if you find it, quote it to me.

NullAshton February 17th, 2005 06:33 PM

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 
New WarpDefender I's are stationed around the Hut in orbit in geosyncronous orbit. Around 10 stations in all are placed there. The WarpDefenders have 6 massive mount APBs, along with 8 PDCs, fighter and sat bays, along with mine bays and cargo holds, and with ECMs, combat sensors, and multiplex tracking. Zipper IV's, a large fighter, is then mass produced. Around 5,000 fighters are now patrolling the hut, armed with 2 phased shield generators and 3 antiproton beams.

AgentZero February 17th, 2005 06:33 PM

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 
Erm... Strategia....? The Hut was only located down the road from the Bar & Grill. If you took out the better part of the Northern Hemisphere, the Hut's gone, too. Congrats.

TerranC February 17th, 2005 07:23 PM

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 
*TerranC surveys the extent of the destruction, sighs, kneels down for dramatic effect and begins to say:*

You bastards! You blew it up! Damn you! Damn you all to hell!

*TerranC then gets up and proceeds to wander this desolate planet of the destroyed taverns and eateries all by himself.*

NullAshton February 17th, 2005 07:26 PM

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 
The starbases in orbit use their yards, and create a new Won-Ton Violence Take-Out hut. Yay!

RudyHuxtable February 17th, 2005 07:59 PM

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 
Hey Hut Fans!

I'm taking quite a pounding here in the Hut! People are getting pokers in their naughty bits, blisters are forming on places that shouldn't be blistered and people in general are running in terror! What better time than now to introduce our very own Kid's Menu!

So far it's only got Xiatiburger and Phong Fries, but we're working in the lab to come up with other great malnutritious treats for the little beasties!



And hey, it's ungroovy to stick pokers in people. Blow up the Hut all you want, but no pokers in my bum, 'kay? I just had it lifted.



Coming Soon:

The WTVTOH Floor Plan and Tourist Map
Extradimensional Rollercoaster
Bumper Dreadnoughts
Pin the Tail on Atrocities


Check here for details!

Bon Appetit!

NullAshton February 17th, 2005 08:01 PM

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 
The starbases in orbit is capable of precision strikes on the planet. If you're outside the hut, my starbases can vaporize you http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif The starbases are also making items for the bar as well, supplying them.

General Woundwort February 17th, 2005 08:49 PM

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 
[OOC - Woundwort logs back on and spends 10+ minutes tracking what happened between 9AM and 4PM PST...]

[OOC - Obviously, a lot of people here have a lot more spare surf time than I do...]

Ten glowing torpedo-shaped objects materialize next to the ten bases, and...

[OOC - who am I kidding? I don't have time for this nonsense! If Growltigger wants this bar, let him come get it himself!

Sorry to be cranky, class isn't going well and I'm not in the mood for this!]

NullAshton February 17th, 2005 08:52 PM

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 
The torpedo-shaped objects are promptly vaporized. Go target practice!

mac5732 February 18th, 2005 01:08 AM

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 
unnoticed by all the mayhem around the hut, small ghostly creatures are missed by all the defenders of the "Hut", unbeknownest by the defenders, the minions of the inner sanctum have washed up into the new?/Old/? Hut and used their uncanny and ghastly talents to insert their inner sanctum concoctions within all the food stored not only in the Hut but also in all the Ships flying protection above it. In addition, they slowly pour an unknown liquid into all the beer kegs and bottles, the tops are put carefully back so they are unable to be seen as being tampered with. After their diabolical raid, the tt worshiping minions depart, flushed back to their haunting grounds. Within a short time all the patrons, defenders outside and above, are grabbing their stomachs and behinds, rolling around on the ground, while up in the ships, all screens are covered with a film exparated from their crews. Ambulances soon arrive and begin transporting all of them to MiPartsr4sale, which turns out to be a medical research facility dealing in providing various articles to needy recepients. The screams of the defenders were heard for miles around as they were slowly wheeled into the inniards of this formidable establishment..... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...es/biggrin.gif

Aris_Sung February 18th, 2005 02:40 AM

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 
<Aris Sung walks down a road and comes to the intersection where these two waring houses...er, I mean eatery/hang-out joints are located. He looks at the devastation wrought from the numerous battles he read about as well as the many immense ships parked everywhere. At the same time, he wonders at what fun he's been missing. Too bad he forgot his gear at home. So he turn's around and heads back to his base to get his posse, gear, and other fun stuff to defend the hut. Defending one's territory from invaders is an honourable fight to join.>

Strategia_In_Ultima February 18th, 2005 06:37 AM

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 
Quote:

StrategiaInUltima said:
...NEWS FLASH

A large group of very rare Xiati/Cue-Cappa crossbreeds, of which none were supposed to exist after the Genological Riots, have complained about a disturbed psychotemporal quantum field near the Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut. Upon inspection, officials concluded that the restaurant had been replaced with a quantumchroniton illusion that functioned as the gateway between the material world and a pocket universe. Councillor Hackett, the councilman that ordered the investigation, demanded it be removed immediately, and the original Hut put back in its place.

When asked, Hackett stated that this occurence had nothing to do with his new Intragalactic Inc. TX-23 interplanetary sports car, or with the firebombing - which happened sometime later.

Growltigger Enterprises has generously offered to place tight security near the restaurant, if it ceded corporate control to GT Enterprises. When the hut proprietor, a mr. Huxtable, refused, another firebombing consumed the entire alcohol storage building next door, where the main ingredients for most of the establishment's drinks were kept.

GT Enterprises has refused to comment on this occurence.

Quote:


The dimensional gate was Jack's, not mine. I just showed a recent news flash to the patrons in which a councilman had ordered the annihilation of the pocket universe and that had already happened, according to the news flash.


You see, Jack? Your pocket universe had already been demolished.
I'm sorry for you.

And AZ... I know the Hut is gone, too. I stated that the first shot from a quartairy PDC annihilated just about the entire fricking northern hemisphere.

NullAshton February 18th, 2005 12:32 PM

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 
Good thing I don't eat or drink anything at the hut yet... Also a good think scans are done on all food leaving or entering my bases. Now excuse me, as I go play a mod with worldships...

Strategia_In_Ultima February 18th, 2005 01:24 PM

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 
A 250MT Peacekeeper Command Carrier and its escort ships, all three of them similar 250MT COMCAs, glide slowly through interstellar space. Severely damaged from a battle with eight Scarran Dreadnoughts, they are now easy prey for any passing raider.

Today, however, it is not a group of raiders that the ships need to watch out for.

It's a fleet of five standard 25MT COMCAs packed to the brim with boarding marines.

The fleet slowly but surely closes the gap between them and the damaged PK COMCAs. The lead NH COMCA sends a message to the others.

"Attack."

The ships suddenly display an immense burst of speed and hyperjump a few kilometres right into the middle of the PK flotilla. The first few seconds of battle are the fiercest. The PK COMCAs try to keep the NH COMCAs at bay by frantically firing whatever weapons they have left and by pushing the engines far beyond their current safeties. Then the first NH COMCA locks on with a PK COMCA. Boarding marines stream out of a massive amount of freshly-drilled holes in the PK COMCA's hull. The fighting is fierce. Batch after batch of fierce marines charges headfirst into batch after batch of Peacekeeper soldiers. The PK troops start to lose the battle after having lost more than half of their soldiers. The battle is then quickly decided, as on the other ships. The newly aqcuired 250MT COMCAs are being towed away to a secret NH fleet facility.

A new DCOMCA will soon be ready.

NullAshton February 18th, 2005 01:27 PM

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 
I really want one of those worldships...

Strategia_In_Ultima February 18th, 2005 01:31 PM

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 
I really want to add DCOMCAs to Capship to help get the Strategia IV through the Deus Ex Machina field surrounding the FCB&G, to deliver a massively strong precision strike at it and annihilate it completely once and for all. And there ain't no Angel of Death that can stop me!

NullAshton February 18th, 2005 03:03 PM

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 
8 Null-Destroyer class battlemoons decloak in orbit around the earth with gravity dampners to prevent tidal effects, and are now guarding the hut. 21,000 phased shields, cloaking systems, gravitic sensors, ECM systems, combat sensors, multiplex tracking, a thousand shield points regenerated a combat turn, 5352 armor points, a repair bay, 186600 supply points, and 20 point defense lasers. Its main weapon is a null-space projector on a core mount, doing over 4K of damage, bypassing all armor and shields except leaky armor. 10 massive wave-motion guns are mounted on the battlemoon, each doing 700 damage. 8 massive anti-proton beams are mounted, each doing 175-300 damage. BuckyTube Gel plating is installed on the ship, 1750 kilotons.

Growltigger February 18th, 2005 04:55 PM

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 
A silence descends across the Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut.. a tumbleweed skitters across the bar room floor on its lonesome journey, all is quiet, all round the house, nothing is stirring, not even that bloody mouse Narf...

A rather overmuscled, heavily befang-ed nasty looking (but yet debonair and handsome) tiger pushes open the door, blissingly shortcircuiting all the ineffective forcefields and dampening fields in the hut..

He stubs out the rather large havana he has been smoking (naturally, on the nearest member of staff) and cradles the steaming one-and-only red hot poker hand cannon in his armpit. He scratches his derriere blissfully and has a look round the wrecked hut.

"Ladies, please. As you recall, PROPER cartoon violence is conducted mano et mano, eye to eye, backside to backside, legion of byzantine killer mongooses to army of ninja killer micro-shrimp, and preferably with large hand weapons and an awful lot of attitude and extreme prejudice.

What we do not do is attack each other with large fleets of spaceships in what effectively is a boasting contest a la my todger is bigger than yours. Surely it is all about a healthy mix of linguistic creativity, imagination, elan and savoir faire with a measure of sexual tension to boot....

I am here to announce that Tigg-Scoff PLC WILL NOT be considering any takeover offer for the Won Ton Hut. We will instead be reinvesting capital in the cantina, with all new look FBW's (it stands for Fluffy Bunny Waitresses by the way), theme nights, theme fights, tribble wings and a variety of amusing and interesting anecdotes for your delectation and delight. Crikey, we have even persuaded Mac to bathe for the occassion...

I trust you will be all able to join us for a cheeky half or two..

PS of course, not making a take over bid does not mean that gratuitous violence may not occur!!

tesco samoa February 18th, 2005 04:57 PM

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 
You guys/gals need some coffee cups

http://cgi.ebay.ca/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?...e=STRK:MEWA:IT

NullAshton February 18th, 2005 05:34 PM

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 
This is for protection of the hut. And to vaporize anyone I don't like...

Jack Simth February 18th, 2005 05:51 PM

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 
(I was wrong? Oh well. In that case....)

Jack again rises up from the ashes of his own distruction, and this time Death doesn't even bother to make an appearence. He quietly rebuilds his body, and then surverys the wreckage of his creation.

"They broke my universe. They broke my universe. NO. I LIKED MY UNIVERSE. I suppose I'll just have to break theirs. Fortunately, I've got a few allies I can call a favor in from...."

Jack starts to form a Gate so he can call on his allies, but then stops immediately before the seal can get him. He blinks for a moment in confusion, and then a slow, evil grin spreads across his face as he analyzes what he saw in that brief glimpse of the shield.

"Well, looks like I won't need to call in that favor after all."

Jack immediately sets to work, building a small golem, who's only purpose in life is to fix such planar seals, then makes it independant and watches it work. It immediately tries to link itself up to the seal around the plane in order to reinforce and repair it. Unfortunately (for the golem), the trap in the seal takes effect, and erases the golem from the timestream. Unfortunately (for the seal) the golem was connected to it at the time, and so the trap continues on, removing the seal from the timestream. Unfortunately (for the local universe) the seal was tied in to the plane's very existance, and so the trap continues through strats to unravel the entire plane of existance.

Meanwhile, Jack produces a small demiplane about five miles in radius, and puts a temporary gateway between the crumbling universe and his own, stable universe.


"Anyone who wants off the sinking ship better hurry!"

With that, Jack heads off into the plane of his own creation, and starts rebuilding the Hut.

NullAshton February 18th, 2005 05:59 PM

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 
I wonder what a null-space cannon firing into that gateway would do...

Anyway, the g-spike engines of my battlemoon use their drive to fix this universe. Wooooooohooo!

RudyHuxtable February 18th, 2005 07:58 PM

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 
Hey Hut Fans!

I've just extended an underhanded olive branch to the Bar and Grill. Seeing as how we made so much revenue from recent sporting events (that was some Air Hockey Showdown, huh?!) I've offered to install a wormhole to bridge the two establishments and create one super joint, OR I've offered to buy them out. Either way, some great things are brewing!

I'll keep you posted. Until then, stay righteous!

Bon Appetit!

RudyHuxtable February 19th, 2005 04:50 AM

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 
It would appear that my overtures to the Bar & Grill are being ignored. They seem to think that it's groovy to continue this crazy intergalactic restaurant war!

Do you know what the Huxtable says to that, kids?

That's right! GAME ON!

Let the beatings begin all around!

And don't forget to try the new Mushroom XiChung Burger!

Bon Appetit!

AngeldelaMuerte February 19th, 2005 10:25 AM

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 
Quote:

StrategiaInUltima said:
Erm... no divine or unholy shield could even approach the strength of a modified Peacekeeper Command Carrier with hyperdimensional shielding. The Divine and Unholy is unique per universe, and thus count for only one universe (or in this case dimension too), but my shielding connects hundreds of dimensions with all their universes at the same time... meaning it's better than a Holy Hyper-Shield Generator.

I know I promised I wouldn't but I can't help myself! (Sorry Tim) Strategia: The sentence 'Divine and Unholy is unique per universe' only serves to underline your ignorance of the Divine. Interpretation of the Divine may vary from universe to universe and from culture to culture upon a single planet but the nature of the Divine is constant throughout this and any other universes. The Divine is the force that brought this and the infinate number of other universes into existance. Nothing created by the minds and hands of men can compare to the power of that which can create Infinity. Your Peacekeeper Command Carrier is a mere trinket, a toy, next to that sort of power.

I'm going to stop now, because it's just been pointed out to me that all this 'Well my ship's got super-duper-uber shields!' is nothing more than a geeky form of 'My male reproductive organ is bigger than yours.' And that's just infantile.

NullAshton February 19th, 2005 02:19 PM

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 
Don't make me bring out my interlaced carbon-nanotube armor which redirects all energy attacks, and can also cloak without using power, and is uber-good at deflecting kinetic attacks. Basically, its super-uber, and can stop any attack.

Strategia_In_Ultima February 19th, 2005 03:36 PM

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 
Oh yeah? Well, to be frank, I think I can mod something in without any trouble that has a massive resistance, armor, unbelievably high emissive armor, a weapons strength that could be enough to take out your ship in one shot, Master Computer capability, massive standard + bonus movement generation, more combat movement, Quantum Reactor, needs no supply, has a cloak level of 999, is 0kT in size, costs nothing, etc.

Heeheeheeheehee.....

Strategia_In_Ultima February 20th, 2005 08:55 AM

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 
pretty torn apart from a struggle with two miniature sharks in the B&G, Strategia enters.

Piece by piece.


"Ooh... my head. Say is that my arm? Hank..." tries to lift himself up to the height of the bar, a pretty difficult task with just one shoulder and a bit of arm attached to your head, while your neck happily dances away freely "...get me a Spatial Rift. Extra strong please."

a stray leg hops in.

"Not another one! I've already got five here! How am I supposed to know which is my real set of legs!"

outside the B&G, Angel has set up a cloning chamber, manned by her fluffy rabid killer rabbits, that churns out legs at a rate of two per minute.

Strategia_In_Ultima February 20th, 2005 06:52 PM

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 
after pulling himself together (the extra-strong Spatial Rift was a powerful catalyst. No limb can resist the attraction of Hank's Spatial Rifts) Strategia stands up and burshes some dust off his (rather torn) gery maffioso tux.

"Guys... this is serious. They're throwing black holes around at the B&G."

as if on cue, Angel pops her head round the door and flicks in a rather large black hole.

"I feel... an irresistible attraction... must... enter... black... hole... No! No! Must... resist... psychic... black... hole! Must... resist!... NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

that last word was uttered when the entire Won-Ton saw the keg full of hyperquantums - the key ingredient for a Spatial Rift - beginning to slide slowly but surely towards the black hole.

Jack Simth February 21st, 2005 04:07 AM

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 
Jack Points out the black hole to Hank
Jack "Looks like someone spilled their drink; you might want to mop that up."
Hank "Got it."
Hank grabs a rather unusual mop, and plops it right into the middle of the black hole, then swabs it around a bit; in a moment, the mop has soaked up the black hole. Hank then wrings the mop out over a bucket, and pours the resulting drink into a glass.
Jack "I knew there was I reason I didn't order any of those."

(Bad pun, I know, but hey - cartoon physics, right?)

Strategia_In_Ultima February 21st, 2005 09:07 AM

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 
meanwhile, cloned legs of Strategia keep hopping into the take-out at a rate of two per minute. Soon, the legs begin to consume more alcoholic beverages than the patrons - something deemed absolutely impossible...

Hank: "Er, guys, shouln't we do somethin' 'bout the leggies? I've almost no Speetial Rifds left in sdorage... somebo'y shoo' the damn legs!"

Jack pulls a pocket universe out of his vest and flicks it to the legs. He then fills it with Spatial Rifts. The legs hop towards it and disappear. Jack then lets the pocket universe experience its end.

Legs still hop in at a rate of two per minute, though.

NullAshton February 21st, 2005 09:23 AM

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 
The cloning machine is suddenly vaporized by a wave-motion gun from space. There, no more legs.

Strategia_In_Ultima February 21st, 2005 05:58 PM

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 
I thought no more "my COMCA is bigger than your COMCS" but cartoon violence instead... I know, it's been said by a B&G person, but it's much more fun this way.

Angel pops in, mourns her team of fluffy rabid killer rabbits, and sets up a new cloning chamber with a new team of fluffy rabid killer rabbits.

Jack Simth February 21st, 2005 06:36 PM

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 
Jack "Barkeep, how do you expect just-cloned critters to pay off their tab at the end of the night?"
The bartender consideres this for a moment.
Barkeep "You know, I don't rightly know. Well, I suppose we'll see - I'll just demand everyone in the bar settle their tabs; can't be racist, after all."

Bartender "Everybody - it's time to settle your tab!"

Jack pulls out a single copper coin, and the bartender looks at him disgustedly.

Bartender "You haven't actually ordered anything we charge for, you know. Why do you sit in a bar and drink water, of all things?"

Jack "Well, I haven't been able to feel the effects of alchol since the first time I escaped the reaper. I can drink as much as I like, but I don't feel any of the effects - good or bad. So I just take water. Here, at least, you name them nicely."

The bartender goes around collecting payment. In the case of the cloned legs (as they don't have cash), he charges each an arm and a leg - as they don't have an arm, he substitutes another leg, charging each pair a leg and a leg. This leaves them rather put out, as all they are is a leg and a leg. He then places a few phone calls, and sells the separated cloned legs to a medical facility, which pays for them extravagantly, and grafts them to those unfortunates who were missing legs.

For some reason, this makes the legs that hadn't ordered yet very, very hesitant to order drinks, and they keep whispering of the event for as long as they stay, so the incoming legs hear, and leg it out of there as fast as possible.

The bartender uses the funds to order more materials, of course, and restocks. He then starts asking the more intact patrons to cover their tabs.

NullAshton February 24th, 2005 10:19 AM

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 
Aaaaaaah, the hut has died!

Jack Simth February 25th, 2005 06:39 PM

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 
Quote:

NullAshton said:
I wonder what a null-space cannon firing into that gateway would do...

Anyway, the g-spike engines of my battlemoon use their drive to fix this universe. Wooooooohooo!

(A one-liner to fix a 3-4 paragraph post which ties itself into a previous post? Please.)

Glancing at the portal, Jack notices it still goes somewhere.
"Wha? Someone manage to stop the trap? Ah well, I guess I'll just call in that favor anyway, like I had originally planned."
Jack waves his hands briefly, and then stands there talking, apparently to the air.
"Yeah, is Yaranthozniaha available?"
...
"Great; could you put him on?"
...
"Yaranthozniaha, it's time to pay up one of those chips I won from you at our last game."
...
"Hey, you know I never gamble for cash; after all, what good is money to such as us?"
...
"I need you to turn up the entropy rating on a particular plane: " Jack lets out with a long string of liquid and oddly musical sounds "I don't have the all-surpassing patience to wait on natural decay in this instance."
...
"Very. I want the big freeze and associated proton decay to happen in about an hour."
...
"Five minutes till I can start to see results? Good. See you at next millenia's game."
With that, Jack briefly waves his hands again, turns around, and stares out the entryway portal. After a moment, he produces a small golem and sends it through; he then changes the channel on the TV, and it shows what the golem sees.

The golem looks up at the sun, and watches as it goes out, no longer being able to maintain any amout of energy. It watches as a nearby battlemoon crashes into the ground, able to neither maintain any potential energy in it's orbit nor enough thrust to fight gravity. Strangely, it doesn't explode on impact - it no longer has the energy necessary to do so; it all turned into useless waste energy. It's power systems simply couldn't keep up.

After a moment, the golem watches as the crumpled hull plating just seems to evaporate, as its heavier elements lose their binding energies and decay to elementary particles.

At this point, Jack casts a spell to make an announcement in the doomed plane:


"Better Hurry - that ship, she's a sinkin. All carbon-based life-forms will want to evacuate before carbon bonds can no longer maintain their structure."

NullAshton February 25th, 2005 06:55 PM

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 
NullAshton takes the time to quickly program a device powered by a zero point energy generator.. The device increases the gravitational energy of the entire universe, causing everything to collapse in on itself, into a large black hole before any further degration can occur. The device, now occupying another dimenson, immune to the increased entropy, rewrites the laws of the universe to remove entropy from increasing again, and sets everything else back to normal. The universe rebangs, and quickly rearranges itself to what it was before entropy was increased. Everyone is alive again, all the battlemoons are in orbit, and the sun is still shining. The device stays floating in those other dimensions, in case it is needed again. Everyone remembers what happened after enthropy was increased, however none of the effects are visible.

Strategia_In_Ultima February 27th, 2005 04:55 PM

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 
Strategia sets himself down next to Jack.

"So Jack... you can't feel the effects of alcohol? Well then, you should try one of my own home-brewn Dimensional Rupture specials... I've been negotiating with Hank about giving him the recipe, but I think that a fleet of COMCA tankers full of nothing but alcohol is not NEARLY enough payment. Wanna try one? You'll be sure to feel the effects... you do know the Drushocka are totally immune to the effects of any narcotic compound? Well, I gave a Drushocka a sip once, and its eyes were launched from their sockets and it gave a scream loud enough to shake the moon it was standing on apart. When I got it on board, all it said was "Another... Another...". Well? Wanna try one?"

NullAshton February 27th, 2005 10:07 PM

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 
Drushocka are immune to narcotics?

Strategia_In_Ultima February 28th, 2005 08:46 AM

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 
They're silicon-based life forms... and btw it's just a plot device http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

NullAshton February 28th, 2005 09:20 AM

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 
Ah. What type of plot device? There's good plot devices and crappy plot devices. Star trek shows usually use the crappy kinda.


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