Re: n00bs of DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! - Now submitting pretenders
 

Aaawww... thanks JimboJones1971 by calling me the strongest. You're not doing so badly yourself :D.
Are you sure you're not trying to instigate something...:rolleyes:

Nonetheless,

SirMu thanks for playing. It would have been interesting if you had attack me earlier. You can see in my research graph my research lagged and it hasn't been a lot of turns since I have thunder strike.

See you next game.

Re: n00bs of DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! - Now submitting pretenders
 

What, me? (Cue innocent look.)

Anyway, the important thing to remember is that its those darned fish people that we've all got to keep an eye on, what with their webbed feet and water breathing ways. :D

Re: n00bs of DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! - Now submitting pretenders
 

Now that is something we can agree on. :D

Re: n00bs of DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! - Now submitting pretenders
 

My sea ponies have detachable webbing, so we are only slimy some of the time, and of course, we are not slimy now.

More seriously, my ponies have sore .. tails.. and I'm not intrested in going on the offensive at the moment. Rest assured though that if my two neighbours get any big ideas about restricting my free ranging ponies, both your capitals offer bench front views!

The real reason those two are talking tough about me is that they are trying to distract attention from the fact they are the largest and second largest nations, and scouts assure me that Caelum has bypassed a number of indie proviences.. so he is going to get even BIGGER.

Don't let the worlds most basic disinfomation campagin distract you from the real issue - who is Caelum going to punch next, as his armies are clearly mustered for war.

So are marigon's too - what the hell is the go with his army graph. Though Caelum's flying bird men are a good counter for Marigon's hordes of dudes with crossbows.

Re: n00bs of DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! - Five Nations Surviving
 

Methinks Oceania sounds a bit too defensive? Could it be that Ahab of Oceania is afraid that someone might look at Oceania's position way up the top of the income graph, and his huuuuuuuge stash of cash, and start to wonder if he was, oh I don't know, maybe running away with the game or something? :eek:

Re: n00bs of DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! - Five Nations Surviving
 

Don't worry Oceania, I won't tell anyone about the giant earthquake generator you're building. Your secret it safe with the ghost of She.

Re: n00bs of DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! - Five Nations Surviving
 

OK, I laughed out loud when I read that :D

Re: n00bs of DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! - Five Nations Surviving
 

Oceania has catfish technology? :shock: They must be stopped!

Re: n00bs of DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! - Five Nations Surviving
 

That's become I'm an order power - I'm going to have more income. High fives.

The downside is I don't have sacred researchers, so most of that is going on upkeep :(

Re: n00bs of DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! - Five Nations Surviving
 

Wait, Oceania has catfish AND order? Noooooooooo! Flee for your lives from the well ordered fish!

Re: n00bs of DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! - Five Nations Surviving
 

Any more trash talk after the new turn? My temple burnt down, and a ton of brigands moved in, so all in all a pretty annoying turn in the land of the witch burners. :hurt:

Re: n00bs of DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! - Five Nations Surviving
 

A vampire tried to take over one of my provinces and was swiftly staked. All in all, nothing much happened of note.

Re: n00bs of DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! - Five Nations Surviving
 

Hee... Jimbo,

How are you preparing to conquer the world?

(Can't hurt to ask nicely, is it)

Greetz.

Re: n00bs of DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! - Five Nations Surviving
 

...and stop killing my scouts.

Or I'll have to send better ones. :mad:

Re: n00bs of DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! - Five Nations Surviving
 

She is curious how the ultimately futile battles between the minor nations (see: All of you) are going.

Re: n00bs of DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! - Five Nations Surviving
 

Independants are winning lol. Well kicking my *** at least.

Re: n00bs of DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! - Five Nations Surviving
 

Yo, GFSnl. Why don't you just send some scouts and see for yourself? :)

Oh wait, you did .... yeah, sorry about that. :doh:

Re: n00bs of DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! - Five Nations Surviving
 

Oceania's a bit late, so I've give him an eight hour extension in the hope he doesn't stale.

Re: n00bs of DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! - Five Nations Surviving
 

8 hour delay as TC hasn't posted yet.

Re: n00bs of DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! - Five Nations Surviving
 

I appreciate Oceania's loan of territory. I was behind in income for quite a while; it's nice to be back in the running. I hope Ahab received those carrier pigeons I sent. Flying over the ocean took a lot out of them.

Re: n00bs of DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! - Five Nations Surviving
 

Sounds like fun :-D

I'm running late at work, so going to bump the turn by a couple of hours. Apologies, guys.

Re: n00bs of DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! - Five Nations Surviving
 

No-one has lost an army yet - that will actually decide things.

Edit: It's probably at the point where you could extend things to 36 hours.

Re: n00bs of DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! - Five Nations Surviving
 

Anyone else object to moving to 36 hour turns?

Re: n00bs of DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! - Five Nations Surviving
 

36 hours is fine by me.

On another note.

I just happened to fly a little over Caelums borders to test my newly purchased Wing-Wax 2000.
It's to dazzle the chicks with my shiny feathers while I'll do a combined 360 with screw in mid air, that I saw this great gathering of fish and land animals who were having a blast at kicking each others skulls in.
Although the fishies had to leave early, it looked like fun.

Greetz

Re: n00bs of DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! - Five Nations Surviving
 

36 hours would be good for me too.

And I'm glad that battle had an observer, GFSnl. Sadly, my troops were too busy fighting to see your test flight, but it's probably for the best. My rank and file are a *tad* xenophobic and would have likely taken pot shots at you. So I'd recommend avoiding cities for now. I'm sure they'll be more friendly to neighbors once this conflict is over with.

On a positive note, my prototype Green Lions were a huge success! Their fiery acid breath both cooks and tenderizes, for a perfect horse steak every time! Lu-xing, their developer and technician, will be duly rewarded with the title "Iron Chef".

P.S. Aquatic war trolls? Now I've seen everything!

Edit: Apparently some of my troops did in fact take potshots at an overhead scout after the battle was over. I apologize for their overzealousness, and I hope this does not create any tension between both our fine nations.

Re: n00bs of DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! - Five Nations Surviving
 

The ministry of Truth has, after rigorous research, concluded that neither the burned arrow as the green bile found on the body of the scout was the cause of death.

The rapport showed that on a sunny day Wing-Wax 2000 becomes liquid and reduces aerodynamic properties of feathers. In normal situations this poses no problem but only when flying upside down.
It's still a mystery as to why this experienced scout was flying in that position.

Wing-Wax 2000 Inc. will be fined 100 million bird seeds and the CEO's bonus is reduced from 50 million to 49.98 million bird seeds.

We hope this unfortunate incident causes no harm to our warm diplomatic relations.

Singed,

Tweety, The ministry Of Truth.

Re: n00bs of DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! - Five Nations Surviving
 

In news from the lands of Shinuyama, Bogus and his crew have visited... again. In hindsight, hunting down and murdering his family then desecrating their bodies after his first visit was perhaps not the "ideal" course of action. Nevertheless a few intercontinental ballistic arrows were sent and have greatly reduced the threat ahead of our most magnanimous armies re-taking the land.

Re: n00bs of DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! - Five Nations Surviving
 

OK, I have tweaked it to 36 hours hosting time (extended current turn by 12 hours, and changed the setting).

In other news, anyone want to take bets on how Oceania will celebrate his ultimate victory? At the rate that dude is putting up globals, battle outcomes are basically irrelevant :)

Re: n00bs of DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! - Five Nations Surviving
 

Hah. I'm not that worried. 15 gems/turn is nice, but not game-winning, and gift of health only improves his turtling. His troops already have recuperation, and he doesn't have old-age mages. Besides, I have it on good authority that Mother Oak is going down, soon. And there aren't many globals that can be cast underwater :D

Re: n00bs of DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! - Five Nations Surviving
 

Must be time for the happy dance, in that case :-)

Re: n00bs of DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! - Five Nations Surviving
 

The happy dance will have to be postponed, I'm afraid. Earth Blood Deep Well is a bit more serious a matter.

I wish Oceania would just come out and fight.

Re: n00bs of DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! - Five Nations Surviving
 

And now I've punched one of your gargoyles to death, and then I punched most of your army to death. Unfortunately the gargoyle did almost all your casulties before dying (the ponce), but I will have my SC's coming back at you soon you - then I will fight bwahahahhaha-AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Bwahaha.

Still, despite me having three gem gen globals up, Caelum is only just behind me on gem income, so don't ignore him for this side show :P

Re: n00bs of DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! - Five Nations Surviving
 

Do you think Oceania is already planning his victory parade post global-domination? I'm pretty sure he is. My tip is the the highlight of the parade will be an undead Michael Jackson doing the moonwalk down the main avenue of Caelum's capital.

We in Marignon salute our new fishy overlords, and wish to note that our previous propensity for BBQ-ing them in a tasty chilli sauce was an merely expression of our cultural identity and should be taken as a sign of respect rather than hostility.

Re: n00bs of DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! - Five Nations Surviving
 

Yeah, that was unfortunate scripting on my part. Tangle vines really messes up SCs. Ah well, live and learn.

Edit: And after that "explosive enchantress" incident, I daresay we're about equal on gem loss. Ouch.

Re: n00bs of DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! - Five Nations Surviving
 

To all concerned,

Shinuyama has seen fit to attack me through a non aggression pact without notice, so I guess everyone else can see their agreements as 'non binding' :)

Text below

No notice was recieved.

Re: n00bs of DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! - Five Nations Surviving
 

Huh. This may seem an obvious question, but was that "NAP for 3 months", or "NAP with 3 month's warning"?

Re: n00bs of DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! - Five Nations Surviving
 

I do not dispute the fact we had a NAP with Oceania, even though the evidence presented was doctored. For anyone to believe we would agree to such things of import in such an off-handed manner is insulting.

Yet let us focus on the issue at hand. It is with a great sadness that Shinuyama once again had to take action against the unprovoked aggression of another nation.

Our slowness to respond to such blatant war mongering was solely due to the aforementioned NAP, an agreement which we hold to the highest degree of importance and legality. However after many arguments within the Council of War, it was decided that the defensive pact between our nation and TC took precedence and forced us to act. Had Oceania not attacked first then we would not be in this situation.

We are not to blame if the fish men of Oceania failed to heed the lessons of recent history, for it was not so long ago when the honorable and chivalrous nations of Caelum and Shimuyama intervened to stop the first great aggressor of Jotenheim.

I assure my fellows that all agreements will be honored by our nation, with the above situations taken into account.

Additionally as soon as the fish men are returned to the Sea - which I will confirm with my commanders has been acheived just now - the forces of Shinuyama will return to their castles and allow them to live their lives without interference.

P.S. caviar is back on the menu and delicious

Re: n00bs of DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! - Five Nations Surviving
 

While I in no way wish to condone unprovoked war warmongering, I feel compelled to ask - may I too please have some caviare? International alliances are important, but at moments like this culinary satisfaction must also be considered.

Re: n00bs of DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! - Five Nations Surviving
 

I can also post documented evidence of him agreeing to attack TC, so this is, needless to say, lying.

Just fyi.

Re: n00bs of DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! - Five Nations Surviving
 

Wow, that's hilarious. Neverhealing units regain hitpoints even if they're sieging a castle with a lab.

Re: n00bs of DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! - Five Nations Surviving
 

I'm keen for some Astral peals, I've got fire, air, water and nature to offer in return.

PM me if you'd like to trade :-)

Re: n00bs of DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! - Five Nations Surviving
 

Amateur hour continues - TC gets resoundingly defeated while trying to take the castle that Shinyuma had already expended a big force against - 7 commanders going down beneath the heels of my golem, along with 150 tiny men :)

If you're going to 2 v 1 me, including stabbing me THROUGH a NAP, you should atleast have a plan to win. Just an FYI.

Re: n00bs of DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! - Five Nations Surviving
 

I haven't checked the turn yet, but it sounds like you won? Honestly it's about time; you have a huge advantage in gems and mages, and used to lead in income too, while I've been at war from practically turn 1.

Edit: What the hell? That's not even amusing. My mages went off script on round 1 just to save on gems, and since that wind guide didn't go up my bane lord gets crushed by a meteor. Whatever, game, what-ever.

Re: n00bs of DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! - Five Nations Surviving
 

And to top it all off, I fast-forwarded through 10 or so variations on that same battle and won. every. single one. That victory was a frikin' fluke of the RNG, even with my mages deciding to be frugal all of a sudden!

Re: n00bs of DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! - Five Nations Surviving
 

***Breaking Alert***

CIA (Cealum Intelligence Agency) breach.

CealumLeaks has just released new evidence of the atrocities of the Oceania - Tien 'Chi war.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nCNrvkJQUc

Quality is meh... we're practicing.

***-***

Re: n00bs of DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! - Five Nations Surviving
 

lol. Just my luck that those failmages are my youtube debut. Ah well, here's some audio I was able to recover from my bane lord's black box.

Round 1: "...just three score troops? Forget battle doctrine, we can take them easily..."

Round 3: "...did Lu-xing just take out our bane lord? Damn, Zhuge Liang is gonna be pissed"

Round 4: "****, a golem! What were the orders again? Fire arrows and... what? Hurry, do something!"

Re: n00bs of DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! - Five Nations Surviving
 

Does wind guide even affect big rocks from the sky? If so, I didn't know that. If so, EVEN FUNNIER.

Edit: As to my effectiveness, Oceania is argueably the worst MA race in the game. But yeah, let's take it from here.

Re: n00bs of DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! - Five Nations Surviving
 

There seems to be a school of thought that Oceania is basically an incomplete nation capability wise (when compared to the other MA nations), hence it being so crap.

I think UNWIN (or whatever it is called) takes a stab at fixing that, doesn't it?

Re: n00bs of DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! - Five Nations Surviving
 

I'll need a 12 hour extension or so, due to a project I'm working on.

Also, I find it somewhat hilarious that my own PD worked against me. But there's a certain logic to that; in a battle between legends, mundanes just get in the way.

Edit: So thanks, Cthulhu, for clearing the stage for our showdown.

Re: n00bs of DOOOOOOOOOM!!!! - Five Nations Surviving
 

I've put up a 12 hour extension, as a few people are struggling with the due time.