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Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
The Taz, noticing that post 100 of this thread is here, grabs the opportunity and claims it for his own! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif
Woohoo! Now on to post 200!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Reply 100! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif
"Welcome to Cantina Post 101, we are hear to fulfill your violent needs. Yes? Certainly, we have many types of Grenade laucnhers in stock!" *Seeing Taz is now back behind the bar RD Orders an apple juice and grabs an oversized wok, swinging and knocking Ragnarok out for the count* hmmm things are slow today! *Delivers another blow to keep the violence quaota up!* http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif |
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Sheesh, and this guy wants a security gig at the new bar? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...s/rolleyes.gif |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Revenge is getting better!!
I have just one a small spat I was having against our local dairy. I am a member of a charoty organisation and we recently held a beer festival in our town. As part of the promotional aspects, I organised with the local dairy to deliver flyers for the beerfest ie the milkmen would deliver a flyer to every house in town they drop milk too. Good idea? I thought so and happily negotiated a £100 fee with the dairy for this service. Result, only about 200 of 5,500 leaflets gots delivered. Most of the milkmen either forgot or threw the leaflet en masse into the B1N. So, luckily, the beerfest went well (Great sponsorship from some brewers did it). But, I had to recourse to the dairy and say, I want £85 back plus a contribution to the £100 cost of printing the leaflets as we couldn't arrange for alternative deliveries cos the bloody milkmen had disposed of the flyer. It has taken 2 weeks of increasingly vitriolic correspondence, but the threat to highlight the story in the local press has resulted in a cheque for £200 from the dairy, but to be fair, as they delivere 200 flyers, I am spending them a cheque for £7.20 as recompense for that... Bastards!, the world is full of bastards. And on a nicer note, I gave a chap a lift to the garage on Saturday when I passed him on the road when he was broken down. He was very grateful, and I didnt think anything further of it until he turned up my house on Sunday with a rather nice bottle of wine for me, and a cheque for £100 towards our minibus fund. He said he felt that was the cost of a roadside recovery, shouldn't benefit from my kindness and wanted to donate the money to a good cause. There is SOME DECENCY left on this planet, not much, you have to dig deep to find it but it is there. |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
[Peeks up from behind booth]
Hey Boss, have you heard this one? Quote:
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Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Rags can act as security for the franchise, if that is what you want Woundwort.
BUt keep in mind that Rags is to security what King Herod was to promoting the Bethlehem Playgroup and Toddlers Association Are you sure you can take the risk? Hmmmm, I am feeling nasty, where is Timstone when you need to shoot a red hot poker up someone's rear end??! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif |
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Of course, if I may make a suggestion, I got a great deal on some really nasty combat droids... |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Hey!! I'm not that bad! The only reason i assaulted rags was because i felt ev...he was posing a threat to the cantinas decoration by....ummmm...urinating in a pot plant in the corner! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif
Anyway if i'm elected for the job of security i promise to keep law and order to a minimum and assault rags at all possible moments for very petty laws http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif Of course i will always take in the profit margin of such acts before acting, wouldn't want to get in trouble with the Cat! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif Also i would hire my own staff (fully combat trained female bodyguards and bouncers) and would of course make sure the bosses have some very attractive female clone karate instructers who will protect and serve at every whim http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif [ July 14, 2003, 11:28: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ] |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Well, I guess that settles that. I'd better be getting back to the site before that foreman droid starts getting delusions of grandeur.
[socco voce]...and I need to double-reinforce the defenses around the manager's office... [departs cantina] |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
OK, I dont recall that the Cantina has ever had theme nights.
We are starting one right now. Tonight's party is themed on Ancient Greece. I naturally, am dressed as Alexander the Great. The FBW's are all in skimpy togas, even Taz has a laurel leaf on. Anyone else joining us? bring your own plates! taramasalata for everyone http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Geoschmo opens the Cantina door and strides confidently in. He is decked head to toe in approriatly themed costume. Thick rimmed black glasses with white tape on the nose piece. A short sleeved white dress shirt, no tie of course, with the top two buttons undone to show his white cotton tee-shirt. In the breast pocket is his trusty pLastic protector bulging with all manner of writing implements, and what appears to be a six inch ruler. His wrinkled shirt is tucked into his polyester pants held up by a think leather belt which also is carrying several beepers. The pants are about 3 inches too short, enough to show his white tube socks and black patent leather dress shoes. Fortunatly Geo didn't have to spend any on his costume as this is how he always dresses.
"So, when does the Geek party start?" |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Clutching his fury hoplite helmet and horse hair crest encased head in his hands, Growltigga sobs into his gauntlets.
There is always one, and this one looks in dire need of a good time. Growltigga claps his hands, "Cameron? Lucy? Drew? aah good, I see you have your shortist togas on.. please take this nerd, I mean Geo, to the pool room. Please ensure you take gallon vats of humous, taramasalata and tzatziki, lots of chicken feathers and a small tub of swarfega and use it wisely. Bring him back for a kicking after you have, ahem, given him a good time... and dont lose his ruler, I have plans for that (says Growltigga hurriedly looking up various terms in a medical anatomical dictionary). http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif [ July 14, 2003, 16:29: Message edited by: Growltigger ] |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
dogscoff arrives in a toga. He has seaweed in his hair and beard, and clutches a big old trident. Taking a short break from his usual obsesseion of Greek mythology, (and fulfilling the old "lord of the sea" role for old times' sake) he has come as Poseidon, God of the oceans.
Anyone looking out te window will notice a 800ft long Kraaken by the name of Donogh parked at the rear. 'scoff has also brought his own entertainment in the form of 12 sirens, the beautiful sea-maidens who would lure sailors to a watery death with their irresistable singing voices (he also has a pair of ear-plugs). The sirens immediately start working their magic, and many cantina regulars begin trying to drown themselves in nearby bodies of liquid (drip trays, pints of beer, toilets etc.) |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Growltigga, listening to the sounds of giggling and occasionally snorting from the pool room upstairs, tries to work out why Dogscoff has a thing about genetically enhanced super-squid with Celtic names.
Sheesh, couldn't he have named it "Stavros" in honour of the Greek theme. and hey, I guess calamari is on the menu tonight, anyone got anyone lemons, cornflour and an 800 foot wide frying pan? OK, we have yodelling lovelies, kamikaze regulars sticking their heads in the fishtanks, we need some satyrs, centaurs, horses, vestal virgins, funny little bald fat men in togas making philosophical statements, plate throwing, dodgy resinated wine, chariot races, nude nymphs disporting themselves everywhere, really dodgy food, funny dancing and mad bazouki players... OK, got all that... Let's find out what was so mysterious about those Elysian mysteries! |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Attention cantina guests, attention. To the owner of the giant wooden horse, license number ILUVHLN, you left your lights on.
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Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Geo, now covered in feathers stuck to his taramasalata body-suit is hoiked back into the pool room by 3 rather pleasant feminine arms, lucky swine.....
OK, the bazouki player is really kicking off, come on chaps, line up and let's start with "Never on a Sunday" Can someone get that centaur off Mac, he is too old for this cross-species stuff... And who is that dressed as Poseidon? doesn't he know that that all that "Zeus-making-ladies-pregnant-whilst-manifested-as-a-golden-shower" was just make believe? oh god, he doesn't. Someone get a towel for the Nana Miskouri FBW!! Yeehaw, and when do we get to recreate the sacking of Troy? bags be Achilles http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Suddenly a distinctly feminine squeeling sound comes from the pool room as Lucy comes running out closely followed by Eddie, formerly known as Geo, chasing after her. "Mother!" he cried, "come back!" as they disapeared out the front door...
[ July 14, 2003, 17:14: Message edited by: geoschmo ] |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Eh, Geo, what on earth is going on there (I havn't seen Charlies Angels II yet)?
Explain please Dah dum dah dum daha dah dahahdahhdum dah dum dah dum etc |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Sorry Gt. Just trying to get into the spirit of the Greek thing. I guess that one was a little too subtle. Nothing to do with the movie, I haven't seen either myself. Would it help if I change my name form Eddie to Geoedipus?
Just then a Galactic Express delivery man walks in the Cantina carrying a package. "I have a delivery here for a Ms. Pandora." He sets it on the bar and leaves. Anyone inspecting the package will see it's clearly labeled: DO NOT OPEN [ July 14, 2003, 18:02: Message edited by: geoschmo ] |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
*Raging Deadstar wanders through the door with a particularly beautiful entrouage. Instead of coming as a god he decided to bring some people as gods. So after hooking up with some of the most beautiful clones he had he dressed them up as the Muses*
"I'm sure as hell not messing with dogscoff tonight! That sea creatures huge!" "Oh boss, thank you for the promotion. News is General Woundwort has hired some droidekas for protecting his office! Not like anyone is going to get anywhere near that place with me in charge http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif " *He quickly takes the most beautiful muse to dance with and lets Growltigger take the rest for a night out* |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
The doors that lead to the Cantina's recesses open wide and hordes of beautiful FBW's in skimpy togas run out to mingle with the guests. Just before the doors close, Erax emerges, dressed in a standard white toga and a winged round helmet. He seems to be hovering two feet from the ground.
He floats over to GT and whispers to him, "Hi Boss. I think you'll like the security measures I built into the clones. An organic battery organ can store amazing amounts of power ! (*) I almost feel sorry for the guy who tries to fool around with them without your permission. Oh, I also built a replica of that teacher thingy from our old space adventures and used it to teach them martial arts. Should be an interesting combination. Ah, yes, about the costume, I wanted to be Hephaistos, but you know what happened to his marriage. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...s/rolleyes.gif This was the next best thing, and I had this antigrav belt I wanted to try out. * - Fact : the Brazilian electric fish (electrophorus electricus) can deliver a 300 - 500 volt discharge to its prey. |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Raging Deadstar, you get the job, I like to see initiative and a willingness to resort to terminal violence at the slightest whim.
Have you ever considered a career in the legal profession? I personally wish that us legal types could resort to extreme violence as needed. Not so much letters being sent with "Without prejudice" written on them, but more like "Disagree with this proposal and we shall terminate with EXTREME PREJUDICE". Joy, the thought brings a tear to my leg |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Mac uses his new Centur high pitch whistle which creates an astounding subsonic noise that can only be heard by centurs, This in turn causes the attacking creature to pull back with fear at the wizen oldster... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif He then looks around for fresh fodder, he spies Timstone over on the opposite side of the cantina, He looks, he salivates, he gallops across the floor, OH poor Timstone groans Mac, I can't watch .. Mac turns his head and watchs the God Look alike parade that is currently prancing thru the door leading to the patiio, Oh man, Tesco is going to love this out there he smiles to himself, The old wizen great one, leans back, waves at Taz behind the bar, orders a brewski from his favorite Liz Hurly Clone... and watches the show....
just some ideas Mac |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
This party is really kicking off. Just to give you advance warning chaps, but the theme for the next party will be "Morocco". This is primarily at the request of Abdul and his berber horde who still want rewenge against Rags and RD.
Kalispera mes enfants, let no one touch that package. I really mean it. Mac, I beleive the centaur was molesting you, and frustrated by its unrequited love, it is now really molesting Timstone!! ooh, that's gotta hurt Geoedipus (great name great name), just put on a toga and get back into that room with Misses Diaz, Barrymore and Lui. When they have finished with you, I want you to assist me with a little medical experiement I have in mind. Can someone pull Raging Deadstar's head out of the fishtank? first, you need to take Rag's hand of the back of his neck! Anyone hungry? right, I will sort that. OUt in the parking lot, Barry flicks the large switch which sends a couple of zillion volts thorugh the car park floor. Donagh the giant squid is crisp fried, just before a horde of sahsimi chefs charge out, rapidly chop it into bits, cover the bits with corn flour and lightly fry in olive oil with a lot of lemon juice. Calamari anyone? Erax, has you done servicing that Giselle Bundchen clone yet? |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Growl,
what beer are you serving here? (When i see bier or beer in the threadname, i just have to pop in) On a sidenote, i'm going to Scotland in a week or so to drown myself in whisky wooohoo. It's in drumnadrochit, nice and close by Nessy. |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
As a discerning Belgian, you will find that we serve lots of rather good ales, ranging from the classic British draft real ales and belgian and continental lagers and beers (all ice cold).
What we dont serve is fizzy American recycled urine. |
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*blurble blurble* Only Rags does! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif *blurble* |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Minipol, the connossieurs amongst our North American customers DO ask for their carbonated urine to be filtered to remove any lumps, but generally, I find that a pipe run direct from the Cantina "Little Boys Room" into a soda stream and chiller unit, and then directly into bottles marked "King of Beers" or any tosh like that, suffices for most yanks in the cantina.
Let's face it, would you rather drink a bottle of Spitfire or a bottle of Duval as against a rancid pustulent weak fizzy oikish pissmire like Coors or Budweiner??!! I would rather drink an alcopop than touch that gunk |
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* minipol takes notes. maybe his plan to open a local cafe without having too much funds will take place anyway * Edit: lots of spelling mistakes. i need a beer [ July 15, 2003, 10:27: Message edited by: minipol ] |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Yeah, I am slightly worried about Dogscoff's affinity with giant squid. You would have thought that a man of his stature would have diversified into sea serpents, large sharks with teeth and maybe an octopus or two?
Heyho, as long as he brings the giant squid, we will never be short of calamari and chips and minipol, word to the wise, when in the cantina, stick to real ale, dont ask for a Brewski unless the taste of ammonia is to your liking!! [ July 15, 2003, 10:38: Message edited by: Growltigger ] |
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Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
You are right, stick to British or Continental Beer. Dont try anything American other than the margueritas http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif
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She looks striking with that long long hair, doesn't she ? |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
A smallish droid hovers up to Raging Deadstar. It flashes a message to him through the glass walls of the aquarium...
"Check your private Messages" It then quickly hovers out before it gets used as a baseball, or something worse... |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Geoedipus returns to the Cantina, strolling arm in arm with Lucy Liu now, gazing lovingly into her eyes.
Hey guys, mom, uh I mean Lucy helped me pick out some better party clothes. What do you think of this? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newup...1058274017.gif |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Geodipus, great legs mate, you look lovely in a skirt. Where are all the feathers gone by the way, and what have youu done with Misses Diaz and Barrymore!
Erax, Giselle does look absolutely aspiffing in that shell, kind of like a really attractive piece of soap. Loser, OK, fair comment, I have found some rather good micro-breweries in the USA. My comments are more applicable to the commercial rubbish produced by the great breweries over there. I found a great micro-brewrery in Flagstaff AZ just off Route 66 which was really vbery nice (other than the fact that the pints served were american pints so therefore about a quarter smaller than an English pint). There was also a good brewery in Boston but I cant recall its name, other than that it also did wicked seafood! BTW Woundwort, Barry pounced on your hover droid in the parlking lot and is currently having problems trying to get a duracell out of the back of one of his incisors! |
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*blurble blurble* Only Rags does! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif *blurble*</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">RD...What have I told you about spreading the tru...I mean lies about me?!?! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif *Ragnarok then pushes RDs face into the water even more.* |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
*Raging Deadstar reaches for the lobster deep at the bottom of the aquarium, quickly snatches it and hopes. The lobster flips out of the tank, hits ragnarok in the face and falls, flailing it's pincers around it grabs the most nearest thing. Ragnarok feels a sharp jolt of pain as the pincers find his *ahem* manhood*
Right, i have to head for the Starfury cantina to select my security staff. Put some of the opening ceremonies expensice champagne on Rags tab, he won't want to be dealing with liquids for a LONG time http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif |
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Do not underestimate the power of Uncle John's back woods grain alcohol (everybody has an Uncle John). Additionally keep in mind that, as good as Anglo whiskeys might be, it's not bourbon whiskey if it's not from Bourbon County, Kentucky. And finally, outside of Cuba, where are you going to find better big production Rum than that of Puerto Rico? |
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Mac, notices a strange color in the brewski he ordered, hmmm, the furry feline is recycling again, ugh,,, Mac pours the tainted brewski onto the floor, (with a tear in his eye) what a waste, he mumbles, he reaches down into his mini astro backpack cooler laying on the floor, and pulls out an ice cold Coors, ahhahhah, he mutters, pops the tab and downs the delicious, cool, refreshing, brewski http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif all the while watching the strange happenings over at the fish tank,
just some ideas mac just some ideas Mac |
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Secondly, you seem to be forgetting the radioactive godzilla-penguins, the shrimp micro-ninja, the exploding demolition lobsters and all my other aquatic denizens. Read through the old cantina threads and count them up if you like. Of course those days are behind me now, this is only a short reprise for old times' sake. |
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Hmmmm, I think I need to expand the menagerie of the Cantina kitchen into woodland animals...
No more will there be the Byzantine Hordes of Killer Mongoose, roll on the marshalled legions of killer squirrels, badgers and humpin' bunnies Yee haw, and this greek dancing is knackering, I think I need to join Giselle for a lie down in teh big shell! |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
[Woundwort walks in with a disgruntled look on his face, even after removing the anti-fried-kraken-smell noseplug]
Boss, RD, bad news. They've delayed the opening of Starfury for at least another... (looks on UWW pad) 10 weeks. [OOC - Shrapnel Games Press Release ] Not that that would absolutely prevent the Cantina from opening separately, but it would mean business will be kinda slow until the rest of the show gets going... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...s/rolleyes.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon8.gif [ July 16, 2003, 15:06: Message edited by: General Woundwort ] |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Hmmm, Woundwort, so how do you think you are going to fund the first 10 weeks mandatory fixed payments due to me for the franchise?
I hear that spleen and livers are picking up a great price on the black market. Growltigga sniggers whilst he sharpens his trusty scalpel and lancet |
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No, seriously, I can cover the mortgage. I'm just torqued that the game is in limbo - as will the Cantina, evidently... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Hmmm, I think a goodwill payment equivalent to the first 20 weeks mortgage, franchise rentla and profit share payments will suffice.
I'll have it now in cold hard cahs if I may, failing which I hear there is now black market demand for ringpieces. I wonder what I could get for yours!! |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
[barely audible mutterings] I'm gonna get somebody for this...
[punching a few buttons on my wrist computer... A flatbed gravcart floats in, with 10 large pLasteel crates. Inside each crate, 2 weeks worth of mortgage, franchise rentla and profit share, in gold-pressed latinum] |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Hmmm, thank you Woundwort. I just need PricewaterhouseCoopers to verify payment and your ringpiece is safe from me.... for the moment.
A pity, as I found an old lady in the Philippines who was quite keen to acquire a new one, and was willing to pay top dollar. Apparently hers has been ruined after a life of eating vindaloos |
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