Re: 1500
 

1,500th reply!!!

Re: 1,500
 

StarBase-1
Where the Admiral is playing darts while the Captain watches:
"So your orders are as follows:" <thunk> "You are to transport..." <thunk> "...Vital medical supplies..." <thunk> "...To our allies on the far side of enemy territory." The Captain squints at the dart board, where the admiral was reading the orders from his dart game, labelled "Order-Generator v1.01".

"It doesn't seem to be a very...accurate method, sir."
"Oh nonsense; the available tasks and zone sizes are dynamically adjusted to match the Captain's track record, the Admiral's dart skill, and the current geo-political situation."

"Sir, is this all you HQ types do around here?"
"Heavens no! Sometimes we play golf. Now be along with you, and send in that pretty secretary of mine to retrieve my darts."

Re: 1,500
 

Transporter Room
The captain is standing in front of a replicator, handing out equipment.
"One for you, and one for you--" He looks up at ensign Fodder, a security person in a red shirt.
"Son, that's just not gonna work."
"Sir?"
The Captain turns around, pulls a blue shirt out of the replicator and hands it to ensign Fodder. "Here, put this on."
First Officer says "Well that ought to substantially increase Away Team survivability."
"My thoughts exactly."

Re: 1,500
 

Ensign Fodder, first name Cannon?

Re:
 

what??? should i ignore the millon voices from the Collective???? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/rant.gif

Re:
 

Bridge of starship
"Captain there's an enemy ship, shields raised and arming weapons!"
"Drop shields, let's see if they want to talk..."

Famous last words #374

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Why drop shields if you're going to talk? You can talk with your phasers and quantum torpedos, can't you?

Re:
 

What?!? Firing your weapons? That's a sackable offence in TNG!

You must talk to aliens at all times, unless you have a Class A (Kirk) or Class B (Sisko) licence. Or special dispensation due to being stuck in the wrong quadrant.

Re:
 

What about being stuck in the wrong reality?

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On a case by case basis, but don't count on it. You need at least three independent verifications that its an evil reality before they'll even consider it. This is TNG

"We come in peace and with a limited special effects budget."

Re:
 

This is the topic that goes on and on...
Some people posted in it not knowing what it was...
They'll continue posting in it on and on...
This is the topic that never ends...

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"There can be only one!" topic

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That was pointless.

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And this is pointless too. Yay pointless stuff!

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This thread is pointless,
That is true.
Maybe we will have,
A monkey in here too.

Silly poetry by Narf's brain.

Re:
 

There was an old farmer who lived on a rock
He sat in the meadow just shaking his
Fist at some boys who were down by the crick
They're feet the water their hands on their
Marbles and playthings and at half past four
There came a young lady she looked like a
Pretty young creature she sat on the grass
She pulled up her dress and she showed them her
Ruffles and laces and white fluffy duck
She said she was learning a new way to
Bring up her children so they would not spit
While the boys in the barnyard were shovelling
Refuse and litter from yesterday's hunt
While the girl in the meadow was rubbing her
Eyes at the fellow down by the dock
He looked like a man with a sizable
Home in the country with a big fence out front
If he asked her politely she'd show him her
Little pet dog who was subject to fits
And maybe she'd let him grab hold of her
Small tender hands with a movement so quick
And then she'd bend over and suck on his
Candy so tasty made of butterscotch
And then he'd spread whipped cream all over her...

Re:
 

A good way for alien planets to avoid disasters such as deadly plagues, asteroid collisions, Klingon attacks, and so on is to make sure that the Enterprise never visits them.

Re:
 

'Quick! It's a Plot! Run and hide!'

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Ahh but as they are "Alien of the week"TM they only evolve from pond slime a few days before Enterprise turns up and their entire civilisation is limited to a few dozen people.

Re:
 

Anyone want to buy an X-Wing? http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll...tem=6526951008

Take a look at R2-D2 built into a car? http://www.expectnothing.com/CAR/xwingdelsol.shtml

Lego star wars: http://www.lego.com/starwars/scrroom.asp?x=x&id=1

New FFN and Nodwick: http://archive.gamespy.com/comics/nodwick/index.htm

Re:
 

That X-Wing has shortened wings??? Bugger http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/frown.gif

Hmmm, backyard project anyone? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...ies/tongue.gif

Re:
 

It's possible to make an actual flying x-wing, using those s-foils as wings, and adding jet engines to it. Add some cannons to the edges of the wings...

Re:
 

Hello? Hello? Is this the forums epitaph thread?
(thank you all for the validation)

Do super heros exist to fight super villains or do they create super villains for them to have to fight? Think about it. A vast majority of super villains were "created" by the fact that there was a super hero around.

OK what is my count up to now?


Gandalf Parker

Re:
 

Ashton smashes Gandalf's head in with a comic book.

Who cares, its stil cool.

Re: 1,500
 

Planet

The away team beams down. Nifty SFX, but the actors got their cues wrong so they run up to where they're supposed to be right after the SFX. A really ugly team of blue alien monsters-- Oh, no, wait, that's the TV studio board of directors. Oops! Ah, there they are. A really ugly group of GREEN alien reptile-monsters stands a short distance away, weapons raised.

The leader speaks.
"Kill all Redshirts! Don't fire at anyone else!"
Since there are no redshirts, only one blueshirt and some goldshirts, they lower their weapons. One of the aliens lifts his weapon and shoots the blueshirt.
*CRACKLE*ZAP*"Aaaargghhh!!!!!"
"Oh dammit, I should've known not to bring a colorblind soldier with me on patrol....."

Re: 1,500
 

Enterprise Ready Room

"Captain we have a problem."
"What's that Number 1."
"I'm an incompetent idiot. But that aside our redshirt insurance has lapsed."
"Damn! How much to renew it?"
"That's the problem. No-one will touch them. They have a life expectancy lower than Palestinian suicide bombers!"
"Bugger."

OK so a few beers may have influenced this post.

Re: 1,500
 

I say we dye all ensigns blue, so they won't die.

Re: 1,500
 

That raises a philosophical question:

"Is it the redshirt that condems ensigns to death, or do those who are domed to die end up in a redshirt?"

It could be that even in blue they'll still end up just as dead, but slightly more colourfully.



Ahhh company "recruitment" or "free beer" don't you love it? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif:D:D:

Re: 1,500
 

What if we have robots fitted with red shirts go into the front lines? They'd soak up the hits, and the blue and gold shirts wouldn't be in any danger.

Re: 1,500
 

But these are "Aliens of the week"TM. They evolved specially just to shoot expendable extras and then be impressed by Kirks stilted pause filled speechs. I think they evolve with the inate ability to spot un-named characters and then kill them.

Of course this is the great debate in redshirt-ology: Unamed or shirt colour, which gets them killed?

Re: 1,500
 

Well, since I remember one named redshirt who didn't get killed (The blood-drinking space-cloud episode), it's obviously being unnamed.

Re: 1,500
 

NewGuy Syndrome; anyone we haven't seen before that goes on away missions is very likely to die. Maybe as part of away team training they should stand in line in front of the camera for several episodes before actually going on an away mission.

It might also help if they introduced themselves.

Re: 1,500
 

If they're standing there being clueless, they're going to die. Simple as that. I almost don't feel sorry for them...

Re: 1,500
 

You know I think there's a secret starbase somewhere cloning redshirts. Surely there can't be anyone left in the universe who doesn't know that being a redshirt will get you killed?

Re: 1,500
 

Strategia, why did you put 1,500 in the topic?

Re: 1,500
 

There is one exception: wearing a red shirt is OK if your name is Scotty.

Re: 1,500
 

Ahh but he had a name. That should solve it in favour of only unnamed extras getting wiped out. Works for me.

As to why 1,500 was in the topic it is Strategia. There doesn't actually need to be a reason, in fact there probably isn't http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

Re: 1,500
 

Perhaps because the thread past 1,500 posts?

Re: 1,500
 

Yes but it did that quite a few posts before. None of the other posts had mentioned it and Strategias post had nothing to do with it.


So that probably was the reason http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

Re:
 

Hello?!? Ashton changed the name to "1,500", not me!

Even if you dye all the redshirts blue, well, read what happened on the planet.....

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On Star Trek: Enterprise, they had a homage to redshirts dying. Lieutenant Reed was wearing one of the old redshirts, and a convientently placed explosive killed him.

Re:
 

I rented the DVD for A.I.: Artificial Intelligence and watched it. This movie is 3 or 4 years old, it's the one with the boy android (Haley Joel Osment) who has real feelings. I never saw it until now.

That movie is good but it is a very sad story and it almost made me cry! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/frown.gif

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! This topic is dying! KEEP IT ALIVE!

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Get me a crate of madness and the backing music from Benny Hill! And a few skimply dressed bimbos to run around after in a comically speeded up fashion. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

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/me is already mad

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Nice wavy lines. You do sine waves?

The Race to Insanity and Beyond!
 

I finally learned what those little numbers on shirts mean. Until a few days ago, I only understood S, M, L, XL, and XXL as shirt sizes, and I was mystified by numbers like 17 34-35. I knew that medium size fits me so I buy "M". If it had those weird numbers instead, I didn't buy those particular shirts because I didn't understand.

Finally I got frustrated and asked the salesperson at the clothes store. I didn't understand her explaination so I bugged her some more and finally I understood that the first number is the collar size. You put a tape measure around your neck and the number of inches is the collar size. The other two numbers, like 32-33 is the sleeve length in inches, and if there's two numbers like that with a dash in between, it's a range and either one is OK.

Re: The Race to Insanity and Beyond!
 

... are we there yet?

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

Re: The Race to Insanity and Beyond!
 

NEVER!