Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 

Howdy, Hutties!

I've been working in the Labs, scouring the universe for tasty treats, and as it turns out I've come up with the Hut's newest dessert:

The Federation Fruit Cake

I'm offering 100 free meals at the Hut to the person who can guess what's in it!

Bon Appetit!

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 

Federation people?

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 

Top-of-the-line Fed scientists?

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 

Citizens of the Fruit Federation from Space Food Empires?

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 

Lol... The FDA! Food and drug administration!

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 

"Call them Roms like the Feds did and puree them all for gel pastries." - Thoughts of a certain klingon in a rather disturbing book by Diane Duane(sp?). Althought it must be noted that nobody was either puree'd or turned into a gel pastry.

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 

"It's not the chemistry that causes it; it's a fundamental independance of mind from body; not that I really liked the effects even when I was subject to them. Besides...."
Jack takes a clean straw, and pokes it into the dimensional rupture. It pokes back out in four different directions, all of which are straight.
"That thing can't be good for anyone."

"Well, it's a quantum hypotnuse blend of trans-polarised carbon nanotubule fibers and nano von-neuman molecular bonds held together by a blend of gravitons and gluons."

"Unless, of course, you found some other recepie."

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 

I say the fruit cake is made out of strings. Everything is made out of strings.

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 

NULL ASHTON WINS!!!

LOL

I was actually thinking Superstring when I wrote that post!


Yay STRINGS!!!

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 

RudyHuxtable is a CAT!

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 

A new dessert? Sounds good, I'll try it! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 

"Who ever said it was? Oh, of course I forgot to tell you... The Drushocka in question was left in an uninhabited trinary system in an immobile ship to see what would happen. We left, and detected a quantum rift - when we came back the system had 354 suns, apparently from 96 dimensions."

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 

Free takeout orders, and 100 free meals... All I need are lotsa free drinks, and I'm set for a long time!

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 

I'll also put in a free Dimensional Rupture for you.

Thinking of a ad line for the DR:

"Ever tried one of Hank's ultra-uber Galactic Cores? Ever had ten in a row? Well..... this is better."

And then beneath the ad pic in tiny indiscernible letters:

"StrategiaInUltima Inc. is not responsible for any damage caused to you, your firends, family, property, or dimension. Use at own risk. May cause irreparable damage to the dimensional boundaries when used. Excessive use can lead to other dimensions. Do NOT feed this drink to a Drushocka."

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 

NullAshton places some dimensional stabilizers on himself before trying the Dimensional Rupture. Mmm...

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 

Three hours later. The Hut is abuzz with animated conversation, good meals are served, teeth are broken on Fried Cryslonite Twinkies and everybody is generally having one heck of a good time.

Suddenly, NullAshton looks wierdly into infinity, lets out a scream and is sucked into an inside-out dimensional gateway. Even the jukebot stops (is that bot still alive btw?) and everybody stares in a quiet menaced way at where NullAshton was sitting a moment earlier.

"Well... I guess that concludes my dimensional weapons test. Time for a visit to the FCB&G. Time for payback..."

Everybody slowly moves their menaced stares away from NA's previous position and moves it menacingly at Strategia, who calmly gets up and leaves.

NullAshton was found, very harassed, and for some reason dressed in only a loincloth, three days later on a small island in the Southern Oglionick Ocean on Paraam V. The primitive Paraamians, who have yet to invent metalworking, picked him up and started worshipping him as a god, until he disappears in a dimensional rupture again several years later and reappears in the Hut just after Strategia walked out.

Everybody fixes their menacing stares on NullAshton again, who has no recollection at all of what happened.

"What?"

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 

Hmmmm, I thought I had dimensional stabilizers on me...

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 

It's a powerful pandimensional weapon. Dimensional stabilizers stabilize only something like fifteen, sixteen dimensions at the same time, max. Pandimensional weapons will still have effect. You should use a pandimensional stabilizer. Then it will taste wonderfully.

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 

Does transdimensional-technology stabilizers work? That's all they were selling in that last town over.

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 

Transdimensional? Well, four to six hundred max. You will need an entire new dimension full of those if you want pandimensional stabilization, as there are googolplex to the force of googleplex to the force of googolplex dimensions, and that was only at last count. I may have missed a few quadrillion.

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 

Strategia walks back in.

He doesn't look good.

He looks like he's been severely harassed by a T-Rex.

"I've been severely harassed by a T-Rex. They've got that darn Barry out in front again. He wouldn't let me in. He even turned down my Dimensional Rupture! Can you believe that?"

a quick glance at the faces in the Hut, all turned towards Strategia, reveals that they do believe it.

"Hank... get me a Galactic Core. Extra-strong. Don't hold back on the hyperquanta."

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 

NullAshton starts to work on better stabilizers. At the same time, he starts construction on dimenisonal weapons.

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 

Spare yourself the trouble, NA. Here's a pandimensional stabilizer. Oh, and any future Dimensional Ruptures served in the Hut for non-B&G patrons will be low on protoquanta, so as not to elicit a dimensional trans-shifting reaction along the third c-axis of the 54th temporal plane.

And yes, I'm making all of this up.

And NA, when you have those pandimensional stabilizers online, I'll give you a free Dimensional Rupture.

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 

Don't need it, already got those done. Gimme another free one http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 

'kay. Got enuffa them, ya know. Gotta whole new dimension full of 'em. I call it my "backup storage tank for emergencies".

In fact, everyone, here's a free pandimensional stabilizer and Dimensional Rupture on me.

And no, I won't be selling Hank the recipe anytime soon.

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 

NullAshton starts doing tests on the DImensional Rupture, making sure his stabilizers will work.

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 

NA, when you're performing an action, please italicize. Everybody else does it as well. Makes it easier to see when there is an action/event in progress or when someone's talking.

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 

NullAshton pours a bit of it into a testing chamber. He then procedes to drink it, and nothing bad happens. Yay!

Up to you if anything good gappens http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 

NA looks strangely at a point three meters in front of him in the air. Then his eyes grow to be the approximate size of a largish sombrero. The top of his head is being pulled into the dimensional singularity at his center of gravity. So are his feet. Eventually, he looks like something of a human donut before he vanishes with a smallish bang. Two seconds later, however, he reappears, safe and sound.

"You should sell this to an amusement industry, would go great as a rollercoaster."

Strategia hopes NA isn't mad at him for making him say three words.

edit: Happy NA?

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 

Yes. Yes I am mad. Here's what I would have said.

"You should sell this to an amusement industry, would go great as a rollercoaster."

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 

Howdy Hut Fans!

As it turns out, profits for the Hut are up by 7,293%.

I'm starting to get swamped with work, and would like to hire a general manager. I'm taking applications.

Now, preferably the GM would be a woman, mid-20s, stunningly attractive and a lover of dorks.

I'll settle for one of you!

Bon Appetit!

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 

Perhaps you could take a leaf out of the B&G book... I believe they use clones of actresses and other celebrity bombshells with tweaked likings as FBWs... perhaps time to set up a little cloning operation, no?

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 

other than that being a woman part, i fit the bill... can i be your new manager? i'm kidding, of course. i doubt the continual explosions, dimensional rifting, and near-apocalyptic events would be good for my health. but i would like a Nova please, with a side of Phong Phries.

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 

I think Brick won't like your taking Phong Phries... and btw they're on the children's menu.

No, I was thinking more, like, clone, say, Hilary Swank and get her to be GM. Would also cut down on costs as she wouldn't need a bodyguard if she gets harassed. And she'd be an excellent asset in a possible future war between the Hut and the B&G. (The Second Bar War - BWII. BWI was already terrible, BWII will be even worse. I suspect carnage everywhere. Not to think about BWIII... Man I can't even imagine what weapons will be used to decide the BWIII, though I do know that BWIV will be fought with rocks and sticks... who am I (almost) quoting here? Those who know get a free Dimensional Rupture! (stabilizers included))

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 

Okay so anticipating Bar War II, I hear one yay for Hilary Swank.

I'm a fan of Salma Hayek myself. Sexy accent, ample "assets" on both ends, and short. I like em short. I sent her an email an hour ago.

Any other female requests? I'll try to get Hil and Salma to work together... scantily of course.

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 

*DON'T* let them know... just clone them off and tweak their brains a bit

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OHHH OHHH

Strategia smart! Me like Strategia idea! He brains!

Okay so two clones. They're cooking right now. In the oven. 375 degrees.

Any other female clones guys? lemme know. Frankly I'll make an entire staff, who will work for free, of beautiful women. Celebrity and non-celebrity. In the oven.

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 

375 degrees... Centigrade or Farenheit?

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Bar wars II? Ooo...

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It hasn't started yet. I imagine the poor sods over at the B&G are still recuperating from BWI (also known as the Great War or the Drench War) and that their defenses are weakened and their offensive troops low on morale... hmm..... TO BATTLE!!!!!

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 

NullAshton prepares his fleet for war. 20 B-Destroyer IV's form the front of the fleet. 10 B-Destroyer III's are on the edges of the second row, with 10 P-Blaster I ships in the center. 400 large fighters, Zipper VI's are launched from underground bunkers, zooming around the fleet.

I'm ready. Anyone else ready?

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Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 

What appears to be 8 moving moons approach the fleet as well. They are not moons, in fact, they are 10 megaton worldships. Each has 10 massive wave-motion guns, along with a core mounted null-space cannon. These take up a defensive sphere around the fleet, with the fire arcs providing a complete 360 degree firing arc around the fleet. The extra 2 worldships take positions at the front of the fleet, giving additional firepower in front.

Wonder what they'll bring against us? Light cruisers?

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 

In the depths of space, fires the size of entire countries light on the back of a massive object. With an immense ponderousness, it shudders...And moves. Accelerating constantly...Uh...Check that...Accelerating like a drunken mongoose with a migraine, the planetiod N.S.N. Murphy's Law heads for the scene of the battle, at a speed that occasionally exceeds that of light. Sometimes, even by a large margin.

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 

Meanwhile, sitting in front of the big screen TV with my large phries and wings, I note that the referee is about to blown his horn to signal a foul. I wonder who will be blamed for the rip in space time?

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 

Microsoft.

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 

The laws of the universe says that light always moves at light speed. Sorry, you can't move faster than light like that http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 

Err... what? I didn't move faster than light.

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Talking to narf.

Re: The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut
 

Of course you can. You just need to substitute Newtonian physics for Einstienian physics with a little space-time manipulation.