Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

I will pm crust and try to get him to submit his turn. I want to try to keep on going if possible. I will force host sat. if no one objects. If there's problems I will do a roll back, although I'd rather not do this because of the ensuing confusion.:D

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Sigh, delay till sunday.

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Tifone, you really are a kidder. I like you. Especially because I've finally found where you are. You really shouldn't leave those Macflavous wrappers laying around, They don't decompose well. :D

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

If Abysia burns said wrappers neither Ermor nor MacFlavvius is liable for whatever harm that causes Abysians or the world. Is that a good enough excuse to cast darkn ess? :D
Ermor does not intend to cast utter darkness at this time or any, why blind all our trading partners BEFORE we run up a huge international debt. ;)
Oh and the council of Arch Theurgs recently considered voting a wright lord as our great god, but they though better of it, (this is why we have H3 preists at the polling stations :D) So all hail the great Bush, who hasn't turned up yet...

Just to remind you that if anyone at all is offended, just PM and I'll stop posting the stuff.

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

I like almost all humor including political humor, so keep it coming. If someone finds offence with the jokes here, well they can go elseware, some place dark and hot. I suggest Abysia.:D

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Abysia is hot but not dark, Abysia is bright, and will turn even brighter, as any unpeaceful invader, and the people which Bwaha send to us because they get offended by Mithras's jokes, will be used as torch.
:mean: :mean: :mean: :mean: :mean: :mean: :mean: :mean: :mean: :mean:

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

I agree completely. Abysia shall henceforth be the home for all those with burning political issues.

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Thanks, Gregstorm. With 2 votes in favour and 0 against (all the other members of our little Parliament are around with chicks I hope) the motion is passed and Abysia becomes the new "holiday place" of boring people (uff, we were running out of food for the salamanders).
Of course for stocking the "boring wastes" of you guys we want a little refund. :D

(On a totally unrelated note, glad to have all of you back again in the nest of jokers pplz :cheers:)

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Our scientists have discovered a alarming byproduct found in Macflavous burgers. It seem as though the secret sauce contains bioflavonoids that impact the memory of the consumer. See :http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7685541.stm

After removing said compounds the secret is found, Macflavous produces such awful food that it causes memory loss. The secret ingredients actually block the formation of the chemicals that cause us to remember how truly awful the food was.

I E T A has now issued a statment of how toxic these products are. It apears that the toxins bind in the consumers brain cause a secondary effect of poor flavor as well. :D

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

MacFlavius will say only this:
Our burgers are made only of the finest vestal virgins. Yes they are the shadow virgin rejects but we use them :) and we only put a few of the dead shadow virgins in there.
Hey Ryleh we outsource most of our production to you, what are you complaing about?

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Its not a complaint, its a health warning. We want our future subjects to have healthy Brains. :D

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Hey Starshine, I thought you were attacking me this turn. Did you reconsider your war of aggression? Well no worries. We will prosecute your leaders for crimes against Ichyidity. No longer will you enslave helpless marine life. :D

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Ermor has found that 80% of MacFlavius production is in Ry'leh, lobotomized workers are better than zombies for some strange reason. In addition to this Ry'leh is our chief and only importer of brains.
Therefore we have drawn up a few agreements with the tentacled people.
It goes like this, if they get into a scrap with anyone else we accuse them of having weapons of mass distruction and dissolve any NAPs with them. And vice versa of course.

Oh and Atlantis to seal the deal Ermor will join the slaps stick routine. (NAP dissolved turn 24, the zombies march over your border on turn 27 :D)

Who doesn't like to see a guy in a robe trip over himself? Even better when he has pie in his eye...

On a related note MacFlavius is now dumping huge amounts of Virgin Burgers into sea provinces known to belong to Atlantis... *Waits for Atlantis to become addicted to fast food and obese* Eat up while you can!

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

We have decided to send the Traitor King to try to convince the working class of Atlantis that our rule is much more benign. We will be a gentle ruler, in fact their taxes will go down for awhile. Due to a new secret sauce they will live a longer more productive life. This is why the corporate decision was made to flood the markets of Atlatis with the original formula of Macflavious burgers. Enjoy. :D


PS. On a note of the weird, a vastness attacked the guy looking in the void gate, and my guy won, ran the bugger off, heh, first time I seen that.

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Guys, look at the oldest joke book:
http://publishing.yudu.com/Library/A...dest-Joke-Book

Bwaha ha ha. :D

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

After a series of rather... intensive negotiations, the Traitor, one Executive Shadhul Ummush, ultimately failed to convince the loyalist Atlantians to go through with the merger.

The sharks however, thought the burgers were delicious and are coming back for more. :D

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

I've decided to coin a new usage of a English word. Dramatized, to be used when your significant other turns off the TV and turns on you.

On a lighter note, did you guys look at the oldest joke book? I was troubled that you have to pay to see the whole thing. I think I will pay the 8 bucks to have it. I spent awhile looking at ancient humor, to be specific Roman humor. Gads, those guys played rough. I was going to use it in this game but I found that it was just too rude to be suitable. Crucification jokes are not funny. I will continue to try to dust off some old jokes for your amusement. :D

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Here's a classic:

Q: What's the difference between a duck?

A: One of it's legs are both the same!

It may have lost some of its edge over the last couple of millennia.

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

My ex is quite a drama queen, and I'm feeling a little sad. I guess I'm suffering a little post-dramatic stress disorder.


Some one seeing a picture of Laconians being
killed by Athenians, observed, "Brave fellows,
these Athenians." "On canvas," interposed a
Laconian.

An orator of Athens said to Demosthenes, "The Athenians will kill you if they are in a rage." Demosthenes replied, "And they will kill you if they are in the right mind."


Agesilaus, intending to march through Macedonia,
sent to ask the king of that country whether
he intended to receive him as a friend or an
enemy. " I will consider," he replied. "Then,"
said the Spartan, "do you think about it, and
we meanwhile will commence our march." The
king very soon sent a message : "Come as a
friend."

:D

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

BA-DUM TISSSSH

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

If Bwaha's life is a cabaret, then he's in the middle of a hostile takeover right now.:D Hell, that pretty much sums it up no matter what you compare him to at the moment.

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Too all who wish avert this hostle takeover send cash and gems. That way I can hire Lawyers and build weapons.:D

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

I'm sending a few old guys and the recently deceased right now, undead make good accountants, they work all night.
I had a nice easy merger right there and you ruined.
*Old guy in robe charges headlong into one of the two most powerful nations on the map*
A bit of help here?

I will send some shambler skin armor to you. That way you'll be able to send more mages.:D

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

I knew we should have planned this, note if anyone has aquatic spies or scryers, look in the sea to see Ry'leh and Ermor tripping over themselves to get at beaten by Atlantis :D

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

SCANDAL IN PATTALA - MARKATAS FOUND IN SHIPMENTS TO MACHAKA SPIDER FARMS.

When loading a regular shipment of spider food, the bandar workers heard strange noises within the crates. When opening they were shocked to discover dozens of live markatas stuffed together with taped limbs and mouthfolds.

It seems the machaka spider stables have been shipping uncountable numbers of markata as spider food using connections with the bandar mafia.

This shocking discovery has forced the Rishi council to take immediate action and dissolve the non aggression pact with Machaka.

Representatives from the MI (markatas international) have lauched infuriating campaigns for a war of vengance. However this has not yet won the ear of higher castes, who thinks there are too many markatas anyway.

The daily primate - front page.

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

The priesthood of Machaka would like to register their objection to the Bandar smear tactics being used.

Monkey diplomats have for many months been telling us that Marketa were huge fire-breathing lizards, and that was the cause of their concern over Marketa population. It was these same diplomats who offered us contracts for cheap supplies of spider food.

It is now apparent that Bandar quality control procedures are far less than they should be, and we have two specific complaints.

Firstly, we specified non-sentient food quite clearly in the initial order form. Eating too much brain tissue makes our spiders particularly bad-tempered and aggressive, and we prefer to avoid that except in times of war.

Secondly, all that duct tape has been gumming up our spider's mouthparts, which causes them great discomfort.

We had been assuming this was some sort of plot of the Bandar government, and were about to declare sanctions. Do the Rishi now deny this?

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Preposterous!! Markata are an ancient race and well known in the machakan jungles. And the notion that such a feared spy network as the bane cult would allow confusion between Rishi official diplomats and bandar mafia lackeys is just silly!! Your shallow lies smell of spider venom.

We shall ignore your verbal web of nonsense but thank you for the inspiration. Duct tape has been handed out among the markata hordes in preparation for the upcoming war.

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Actually, Marketa are completely unknown in Machaka. Our spiders did seem to like the taste - perhaps there's a connection there?

As for the idea of the bane cult being spies - this merely shows monkey ignorance of the historical richness of Machakan culture. Bane Spiders have never been, and never will be, used as spies. A six foot figure dressed in jet black armour and wielding a glowing sword is, frankly, not sufficiently inconspicuous to be any use as a spy.

It seems apparent to us that the so-called Bandar Mafia are in control of your diplomatic service, and we suggest that some sound governmental housekeeping would be in order.

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Mr. Tentacles is disappointed at this development since, for as long as Mr. Tentacles can remember, Blood rituals have always seemed to have flopped in Mr. Tentacles's kingdom and Mr. Tentacles really has no other use for voluptuous young virgins. Business before pleasure though. Once Mr. Tentacles's and Mr. Tentacles allies inevitably conquer the surface world, Mr. Tentacles can have all the voluptuous young virgins Mr. Tentacles could want. Mr. Tentacles has waited over 2000 years for this chance, Mr. Tentacles can wait until the end finally comes.

Mr. Tentacles suggests that you send the virgins to Ermor, so that Mr. Tentacles might savor the taste of plundered McFlavious burgers made with spicy, Abysian meat.

Mr. Tentacles will see what he can do about Abysia's fashion issues.

(Mr. Tentacles suddenly visualizes a conversation between a Warlock and his apprentice:
"Apprentice, take a look at this. Do you think these boots make my bum look big?"
"Of course not, Master! You look ~fabulous~!")

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Undead virgin fetish? Need I say more?
Kill the monster!

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Silly Ermorians... In Soviet Atlantis, monster kills YOU! AGAIN!

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Crap, are you really getting popups like that? I wonder if I'd get any points if you can find this page in a Google search for tentacles...

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

The oldest one that I've heard of is circa 1820.

But I'm sure you didn't need to know that.

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Meanwhile, outside the world of tentacles...

This month a mob of Bandar mafiosi crossed the borders of sovereign Machakan territory, intent on pillage. They promptly kneecapped a crew of spear-waving villagers and announced they were in control of the entire province. It is believed that they were members of an elite squad called the Cosy Nostrils, whose motto is "sticks and stones may break your bones, so why use words?"

The next morning, all senior Machakan officials remaining in the province found spider's heads on the pillow beside them. In some cases it took a lot of searching - we would advise the Bandars to use the heads of giant spiders in future.

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

The kind Ermorian empire has kindly offered us the usage of their lands for a government in exile. We accept with thanks.:D


Heres a cool Hubble shot, I think it looks like a bear.


http://imgboot.com/images/Leo/web_1.jpg

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Meanwhile in Ermor the high ups are busy preparing to go to ground, after a string of spectacular defeats and phyrric victories, plans are being drawn up to shift the leading powers into the next dimension, a few of the slightly madder mages are considering pushing the big red button. The licters are sharpening their blades and protesters are marching under the slogan of "Bring our bane lords home!"

We apologise for the confusion, brains are becoming hard to come by as the delegates from Ry'leh lobotomize our peasants and our leadership is starting to eat them through shear nerves, which isn't helping.

Long live George, oh and I gotta say I love the spider gag, brilliant!

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

As the Bandar horde pushed westward into more Machakan territory, they encountered a picket line of warriors blocking their way. "Nice looking province, this," said the lead Bandar. "It'd be a shame if it were to... burn down, don't you think?"

Oh, the irony.
Oh, the simianity!

The ashes will be returned to the deceased's relatives in due course.

Machaka would like to ask the Bandar government why, if they have decided to stop Markata deliveries, there are several hundred rather inconveniently delivering themselves to our northern border. They aren't in the normal packaging, and none of them have been franked. I hope that doesn't mean we have to pay the postage.

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Abysia's shopping-mania is not over yet! 18 b-slaves or 200 gold to anyone interested in selling us a Thirstle Mace! (Unconfirmed off-the-record voices say that the head Warlock has a new fiancèe who particularly likes the creative use of this kind of spiky things in private...) :)

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

We weren't aware your head warlock was in a relationship with our Pretender...

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

So it was. You should have seen the size of the ones that got away, too. They were thiiiiis big...

Now that Flamegasm's arrived on the scene, is he going to preside over the wedding ceremony?

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Starshine asked for a delay thru this weekend. :D