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Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Lt. Gwai would be all for that, and volunteer to program them too, if only he were conscious.
But as far as the narrator knows, he is still unconscious on the bridge, in a growing puddle of allium-induced tears, with his Anti-Sniff device stuck on the shirt in his hand, waiting to be carted off to sickbay . . . http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif And, the narrator would like to ask everyone to stop mentioning those darn vegetables! a few times was fine, he set up a nice little stand and turned a bit of profit. But now he has RSII (repeated small impact injury), and a bad back from it, and yet everyone keeps making him say onions!! *rrrrruuuummmmbbbble . . . " Oh N- *narrator is buried under a pile of his own stupidity* muffle curses in every language ever used in stories (thats a lotta Languages!) pour forth . . . and thats a real problem, since most stories with narrators are for little kids. -this message brought to you by the society for kindess to narrators [ May 05, 2003, 06:22: Message edited by: Gwaihir ] |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Captain, the "Steely Eye" sensors have reported seeing 5 small globs of unknown origin coming from the surface. They have tracked 4 leaving the area.
However they have lost the 5th one. The recent influx of On-er Allium cepa! in the ship has triggered the "Steely Eyes" water flush system. As a result scanning is down 55.987%. I will attempt to find the missing glob as soon as I dry my "Eyes" Gryphin : I play- er Practice with the PEE tube every day. I must say I have gotten pretty good with it. Gwaihir : I greet a fellow Punster. Now we can double the PUNishment. Katchoo If we did as you suggested and added programs to degrade you non-stop until your destination , we could call the Turbolifts TuboDowners. I hope "Number 1 and his team are almost ready to "GO". The "Pressure" is building to have some "Movement" of the story line. |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Ensign TerranC is briefly spotted walking in the corridors before he is killed by an unknown unexplainable EPS conduit burnout, which *should* have created nothing but a mild case of goose bumps.
Another Ensign is electrocuted while trying to carry TC's charred body... |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
You know, someone really ought to do something about the poor unconscious people http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif (S'Katchoo and Lt. Gwai) and the pile of veggies on the bridge - Kamog was off to a good start, he can use a few as condiments on his burger - perhaps others can be harvested for the kitchens . . . and you know, enemy ships (and cities, and bases) probably don't have anti-sniff devices, which brings me to "101 fun uses for a teleporter" . . . although storing such powerful weapons on board may be an inherently unsafe thing to do (sounds right up our alley, eh?)
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Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Kamog finally notices the unconscious fellow officers on the bridge. He clears away the pile of - um - whatever these round vegetables are.
"Mr. S'Katchoo, are you all right?" There is no response. Then he takes a look at the unconscious Lt. Gwai. "Well, I'm an Engineer, not a Doctor! ... Kamog to Dr. Geo. Medical Emergency on the Bridge! Two to transport directly to Sickbay. Computer, transport Mr. S'Katchoo and Lt. Gwai to Sickbay. Energize! " |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Several hours later . . .
Lt. Gwai opens his eyes blearily and looks around. "Huh? Whatzs thish? Whereami? Uhgh, sickbay, hrm, I was . . . in the shower . . . no, it was the bridge, and and and . . . there was a pile, a pile of . . . er . . . they smelled . . . i mustve fainted, . . . hrm." As the remaining 95% of his brain catches up with the rest of his body, Lt. Gwai remembers more accurately what happened. "Oh, NO! I was undressing on the BRIDGE?! Why do I allllllways do something wrong?! I mean, its not like i'm trying to . . . people always over-react anyway. Especially the vulcan academy. I know I'm supposed to stick to the pure science, but it seemed like it woud be so simple to increase the capabilities of that scanner. I just didn't remember to check that the targeting relays could hold the power load. I really didn't mean for it to change focus during the thesis presentation, and certainly not to the director's bedroom . . . Although I must admit, some of the things she was doing were rather educational . . . if only the rest of the administrative board thought so. And now I'm already ruining my big chance for a new start here at starfleet. I have to work extra hard to make up for my mistake." Realizing that he had no good reason for that outburst, he looks nervously around, hoping no one really heard nuch of it. Fortunately, S'Katchoo is snoring peacefully, and the Dr. Geo is nowhere to be seen. Although, there are some noises coming from the next room that sound sort of like the ones in the director's bedroom . . . Lt. Gwai slides gingerly off of the bed, and begins to walk over to investigate, thinks better of it, and decides to go work on the combination phaser/tricorder unit that's been giving him trouble. As he walks out the door, he notices a sign he hadn't seen before. "To enter here say . . . " There is a thud and a yelp (that sounds amazingly like a FBW) from the next room, and as he finishes reading, geo appears (in, shall we say, less than full uniform), diving to stop him, yelling "No, don't say-" ". . . onions," Lt. Gwai finishes reading. **RRRRrrruuuummmmbbbllle** One shortcoming of the Anti-Sniff devices is their tendency to come off when stuck by hundreds of small, smelly orbs, and this case is no exception. When the outpouring stops, he is sprawled unconscious in the doorway under a pile of the cursed comestibles, which is spilling into the medical rooms and the hallway. You know, those things probably cause brain damage. Too much exposure might turn a guy into a vegetable. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif **Er, i hope you don't mind the slight borrowage of your character, geo. I think its pretty consistent tho. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif If not, well, you're the one standing there with a whole medlab full of fun drugs and me unconscious under a pile of you-know-whats. Even if you are somewhat informally attired. [ May 06, 2003, 05:29: Message edited by: Gwaihir ] |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Captain to number 1, please do not direct the chorus line of ovoids to Barry's cargo hold. Please direct them to the captain's ready room for, ahem, more examination......
The sheep head into the captain's ready room, the door closes and the sound of large bolts being drawn can be heard, closely followed by the following song... "my rhubarb refuses to rise to its natural size my baby don't love me no more... daddle daddle dum daddle daddle dum bring on the dancing sheep Oiii" Captain Slog, stardate 13.20 GMT - thank heaven for rubgy songs, but we are currently in orbit round Anus IV, my first officer is acting like a big girl's blouse and has backed out of the away mission, it is down to Ensign Power Man or Commander Kamog to go and expore Fart Point as the captain is, ahem, a bit tied up at the moment.... |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
OK Captain, since I was feeling the "Pressure" I'll help "Move" the plot and command the Away Party-No Away MISSION. This will be ALL work and NO Play. (Ha!)
Power Man activates the Designated Driver Device and heads to the transporter room. He has to turn off the speaker in the Turbolift. It was complaining about Power Man's hair, your suit needs polishing, you never… CLICK !! (what a downer ) As he heads to the transporter he wonders what the Captain could be doing with rising rhubarb, dancing sheep, and getting tied up. (UGH!!) (Insert Trek Captain's Love scene music track 3 here) He arrives and finds Taz and some red shirts waiting. One of the red shirts seems to have a hurt foot. "I am sorry but you can't beam down already injured. That happens After you get there. Go see the Doctor and get that thing fixed." Power Man looks around for a tricorder to take on the Mission. He spots one labeled "Property of Gwaihir" . "I'll just borrow this one. I am sure Gwaihir will not mind. " Power Man sets the controls (we really need to get some more crew) on the transporter's PEE tube. The team is "squirted" down to Fart Point. They arrive with incredible random accuracy in front of a guy waving a towel. "You must be the new crewman Gryphin. Welcome aboard. Come join my Party-No Mission." Everyone looks around them. The team has beamed into a large square that sits between "Old Fart Point" and the "New Fart Point Brewery". The Old Fart Mayor, a Mister Odiferous, is there to greet them. "Welcome, Welcome to Fart Point. We have been waiting for your arrival. Come let me give you the Grand tour." As the team is lead into the Brewery they see a large sign. "Welcome to Fart Point Brewery. Home of the STRONGEST SMELLING ALE's IN THE UNIVERSE ". They see large Vent Holes belching out clouds of gas from huge tanks of bubbling liquid. Huge barrels of ale are being filled up and stacked away for aging. The tour ends in the "Fart Point Tasting Room". A huge bar has been set up with samples of all the types of Ale they make. A selection of snacks has been provided. Power Man reminds the team, "Remember men we a here to Work Not Play. So I want everyone here to Work at getting a sample of every Ale here. That should make for a very "Happy Hour" or so. " Taz admires the huge bar. He starts making a list of the new ales he will picking up. The red shirts drink themselves green faced sick. Gryphin pecks- I mean picks up some free snacks and a selection of ale. He seems to have the appetite of a bird. Power Man looks around, "What no Tribble wings??" Oh they are. Funny I would swear they were not there a second ago." "Power Man to Captain Growltigger we may need some more time down here. There is a lot of (HICK-UP) research left to do." http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Captain to Ensign Power Man, take as long as you need, but ensure that you com in at 15 minute intervals so that we can ensure that you are still alive, and possibly still coherent.....
I will try and join you shortly but unfortunately, I still have a couple of ewes, I mean, strategy and readiness reports, to go...... Note, Mr S'Katchoo has reviewed Starfleet records on the colonists of Fart Point, do watch out, the original settlers were apparently the refuse and gutter sweepings from the most vicious prisons on Earth, people who could survive in any environment, were resourceful, evil and nasty minded oiks who had a tendency to brew alcoholic beverages out of their own bodily wastes...... Anyway, your captain must go, I am busy helping Miss Baaahhbara here with her starfleet revision (she calls it revision, I call it immorral and illegal) Miss Flossy, engage the battery operated back scrubber, make it so Baaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
*In the interests of non-continuity, commander dogscoff issues Gwahir with a uniform from Babylon 5.
Suddenly, a queue of giant sheep in full make-up & chorus girl outfits high-kick their way onto the bridge, baa-ing, whooping, batting their fake eyelashes and flashing their petticoats. "OK, who ran holodeck program SHP-900C and left the door open?" *dogscoff consults the holodeck logs. "Kamog? You have some questions to answer..." As dogscoff begins to herd the sheep toward Barry's cargo bay, he is struck in the jaw by a woolly can-can kick. Unconscious, the first officer is taken to the sickbay. It falls to someone else to lead the away mission. [OOC]I As much fun as this thread is, I really don't have enough time for it at the moment. Don't hold the plot up for me...[/OOC] |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
In the dark recesses under one of FartPoints huge mountains, in a subterrainion Fortress, protected against all forms of warfare, an illustrious, suave, sexy, slightly balding, older gentleman, sits in front of a huge console, surrounded by large montior screens. He presses a series of contacts, from far below, in number 12 converter room, massives switches drive home an enormous mass enhanced by methane gas, which in turn propells a small beam of energy that hurls outward toward the alien ship above the planet.
The beam is a pipe like hollow cylinder of intolerable energy which upon striking the ship, clings to the defensive screens and slowly bores a small entrance like hole, thru the screen and then by passes the metal and armor of the ship. The wizen old one chuckles to himself as his spy beam watchs the machinations of those on board the strange craft and the various creatures inhabiting this metal container. As the old one watches, a sexy female clone, who looks very similiar to an old earth celebrity from years past, brings him his breakfast of bacon, eggs, hashbrowns, rye toast and a brewski. "ah, thank you LH#3," he expostulates with a twinkle in his eye. Refreshment while I watch and see what these creatures from nowhere are up to, in the meantime, let Number2 know we have visitors and to put all defensive stations on alert....... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
In his unconscious state, Lt. Gwaihir (#%^$ it, I can't remember not to type the 'hir' bit, so *poof* my name is now Gwaihir) dreams of his tricorder . . . he hopes that no one picked up his field test model, he left it lying somewhere . . . Its not that it doesn't work, its just, well, the video games might be against regs, and someone might confuse them with a reading or something. And that self-defense electroshocker bit, well, its really hard to accidentally set it off, but, given his luck . . .
http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif ::have fun, guys:: |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Power Man wakes up (comes to) early the next day.
"Oh what a headache! I guess I played - er Worked too hard Last night sampling all those ales." He remembers tasting a wide range of ales, from pale golden weak ales that seem to be preferred in some of the New World "colony planets" to deep thick, almost chunky brews favored by the Old world United Kingdome planets. Some Lite ales seem to shine out while some ales were so heavy one needed a Porter to carry them into the house. Still others were so full body they were Stout! Sometime in the wee hours the Away party-no that's Team, was shown to a small room containing several chairs and beds covered with freshly changed linens. Here they rested (Passed Out) from all their hard "work". Power Man checks the rest of the team. Taz is a large fur ball in one of the couches. From his loud snores it appears that it will be some time till he is heard from. He seems to be rather quiet lately. I think he is a bit in "shock and aw" over that Huge bar in the tasting room. He may have a case of "Bar equipment" envy. Gryphin is a pillow of feathers on the bed. He too looks out-of-it for the time being. The two red shirts are sprawled in the chairs. Their green faces are turning a nice Toon plaid mix of green and blue. All of the covers and linens are dirty and will have to be replaced. One thing drinking all that ale has given Power Man is an urgent Pressure to get Going !! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif He leaves the "Re-cover Room" in search of the "Little Power men's room." As he "seeks out a new place to Go" he thinks about having a nice breakfast of bacon, eggs, hashbrowns, rye toast and a brewski. His pounding headache and upset stomach argue against it. "I think I will try some of that "Hair Of the Dog" ale for breakfast." Meanwhile up on the ship. The Designated Driver Device detects a slight pricking of the lower shields. DANGER DANGER DANGER Intruder detected. An android robot unfolds from the controls. This is the Automatic Action Android (Action Andy for short). Andy activates the battle scanners. In a voice that resembles Power Man's old friend Spork it makes its report. "Captain the AAA has detected what appears to be a wizen old PEE tube extending from the planet and penetrating into the ship. Activating the "BOBBIT Maneuver"" From the ship two beams of intolerable energy slice into the offending PEE tube. Within seconds it pulls out of the ship and shrinks back down to the planet. However it is much shorter than before. Action Andy makes one final report. "Captain the intruder has been rebuffed. Returning to normal mode." The AAA then folds back up and returns into the control board. (There that aught to teach mac5732 to keep his PEE tube to himself and not "Stick it" where it is not wanted. Next time at least by us a Drink first!! ) http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif Several "steely eyes" start taking a "Hard Look" at the planet below trying to find the source of the pesky PEE tube. [ May 07, 2003, 21:23: Message edited by: Power Man ] |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
The wise old one, watches as his tube is unprovokedly attacked and pushed back down into the over all mass containment area of #12. hmmmm, it appears someone found my little toy he mumbles to himself, however, he punches some more buttons in front of the consoles and sees that the spy tube registered a high 89% methane level inside various areas of the ship.....Now that would be useful he grumbles, it appears that methane is also used by these aliens from the strong emissions registering on the FartPoint Methane incandescent beam analyzer. Well we'll just have to tap that source and from what the analyzer shows, its almost 98% pure with a slight trace of what appears to be various types of alcohole in trace amounts.
The wizen oldster, munching on rye toast, moves his strong fingers over the keyBoards of his console and is soon followed by a redly impenetrable opacity which leaps spaceward towards the revolving space craft. Upon reaching its target an indescribable pall reachs into the ship with a writhing, coruscating beam of intense power. It soon envelops the various parts of the ship and begins the obduction of the methane found within and sending it down to the immense fortress and into the reaction chambers of a huge, gargantuan machine. Those workers around the metal contraption were estatic as they read the printouts on this unexpected source of 98% pure Methane. "Wow, this is the strongest stuff we've ever seen here on FartPoint", only beings with a trendous internal combustion system could be responsible for this experate of Methane". "The essance of wonderment of such magnitude of Methane must indeed be undescribable within the confines of those areas where the readings are taking place.." http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif [ May 08, 2003, 04:12: Message edited by: mac5732 ] |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Power Man spends several minutes looking for the "little Power Men's room". He finally finds a door labeled "Water Closet" .
"Well if this rooms for water I have some "water" for it." Power Man enters the WC. He sees a small tinkling fountain (just like the one in the old cantina) for washing hands. The walls have pictures of rushing streams. There are speakers playing the sound of a babbling brook…. STOP.. STOP.. If this keeps up I really will BURST! He spots a series of holes along one wall. A sign above them reads "You Are Not in Pain any more". As he is finding Relief Power Man notices that the hole does not appear to be attached to a normal pipe. Instead it appears that his stream is falling in "Golden Arches" into a vast vat of bubbling liquid on the next floor down. The vat looks like one he saw from the tour. It must be a different one though. "I mean I am all for being resourceful and recycling but if that's not a different vat, this is just Nasty." Power Man finishes his "Number 1" and washes up at the fountain. As he leaves the WC the Old Fart Mayor, Mr. Odiferous runs up to him. Thank the "Great Fart", I found you. You MUST call your Captain RIGHT AWAY! We did not do it. We could not do it. Don't let him KILL US !!! "What ? WHO ?? OK I'll call." At this moment Power Man realizes that some of the loud buzzing in his head is actually coming from his communicator. "OH OH I forgot, I had set this thing on vibrate and so I did not notice it till now." Power Man to Captain Growltigger, sorry for the delay in reporting. We got really tired (Smashed) Last night after all of our hard working (Partying). The team is still resting (sleeping it off). We managed to sample 89.456% of the ales. Taz has made up a shopping list that could choke a sheep. I will try to get the team to report in as soon as they wake up (recover). "Oh by the way, Is there something going on up there ? I am here with Mayor Odiferous. He seems rather concerned about your declaring a state of war with the Galactic Federation. He says that his PEE tube is Way too small to assault anyone. And while he admits he "Sucks" it is not methane. He seems to be blaming a wise old retired Major who lives in a subterranean Fortress, protected against all forms of warfare under the nearby "Mount Fartmore". The Major use to command the famous F (Fart) Troop the "Fighting Pains in the Anus" Troop 90210. He now lives in his fortress surrounded by sexy female clones, who serve his every needs. This wizen "Oldest Fart" may not mean us any harm. I suggest that you use the "olive branch of peace" rather than your "planet busters" to contact him. If he does not listen to reason you can always hit him over the head with the branch and Then use the planet busters." Captain I will report back again after I get back to the team. [ May 08, 2003, 17:24: Message edited by: Power Man ] |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
*Meanwhile aboard the TSSS Phongs Head...*
*The injured ensign hobbles down the hall ways, after many turbo lifts degrading him about the length of his gun, his accuracy and shooting technique he finally makes it to the desired location, the computers mainframe room. The hologram fizzles out and the floating droid then releases a cable that connects to one of the many sockets around the room. A red screen pops up and demands clearence to enter. The droid's programming enters "Growltigga, Love God" and "Knockers" as the password. It instantly begins downloading everything possible. Previous mission logs, crew profiles, ship blue prints, cargo information and the captains Online black book of aliens he's "bonked" With all this information transmitted back to the Deadstar satellite floating in orbit around the planet of Anus IV which then transfers the top secret information to the Officials of the Deadstar Continuum. With this task completed the droid reactivates the hologram projector and heads off towards the weapons room, the next phase of the deadstar's plans were on schedule..." ----=Message to The Wise Old One, Mac=---- From: Senator Deadstar Our most Humble Greetings. We would greatly be hounoured by the assitance of yourself. We are troubled by the sudden appearence of the TSSS Phong's Head, who we know have beamed an away team down to the surface. We believe they will disrupt our planetary operations and would require your assitance in the "decapitation, if you will, of this threat. Our Operatives are standing by with orders to cripple the ship and if you would like the honour of exterminating The decorated Captain Jean Luc Le Grand Chat we would be happy to assist you. We believe the cloning of some athletic young liz hurleys bred for maximum stamina will be a sufficiant reward for your co-operation. ----=Message Ends=---- |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Captain Growltigga to Sub-Ensign Power Man,note you have been demoted for unbefitting conduct whilst on an away mission.
The honour of the Federation and illustrious service on TSSS Phong's Head only means you get drunk either on board or when I say you can. Tell that snivelling mayor that I will withhold my engines of destruction, provided that miserable reprobate toad of a major in his undergorund fortress agrees to meet my assassination team, I mean, my friendship team when it beams down. Tell that mayor that if he doesn't accede to this demand, I shall be forced to use planet buster bombs and phasers against the major's underground fortress such that Anus IV will be blown up its own bottom....... He has been warned....... |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Power Man mutters to himself:
WHAT DEMOTED!! Why that @#$#$% puffed up %^%&& CAT ! I'd like to give his tale a YANK or TWO ! And after all my hard Work too. How Else are we to "seek out what's Brewing" if we don't sample what ales us?? I wonder how "The honour of the Federation and illustrious service on TSSS Phong's Head" is served by his "daddle daddle dum"ing his "rising rhubarb" and getting "tied up" by "dancing sheep". Maybe I ought to send my Uncle, Admriel High Horse at Federation Command Central a short note? I am sure Captain "Cat" would Love a FCC investigation. It looks like I had better start doing a little "Sucking Up" myself. Taking out his communicator Power Man calls up to the ship. "Power Man to the Great, All Powerful, Massively Endowed, Handsomely Striped, Powerful Singer, Captain Growltigga, I, your now even more lowly Peeon Power Man will tell "that snivelling mayor" your Great and Powerful words. He seems to have run off however so I must track him down." I hope you will reconsider your supremely wise and just actions. From what we have Worked so Hard to discover, Fart Point Station and Anus IV would be a great ASSet to the Federation. At least let your Away Team know before you "wipe out Anus IV's bottom". We would like to get the Sh++ out of Anus IV before you give it the "Blow Job"." Power Man Out. Now which way back to the Re-Cover room ??? Were did that mayor run off to ?? |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Mr. S'Katchoo, having returned from his stay at the Betty Ford Clinic (aka Sickbay) enters the bridge just as the Captain begins issueing orders.
Captain: "..Sound red alert, bring the ship to battle stations, raise shields, charge phaser banks, load and arm all photon torpedoes, rig the shuttles as ground assault craft, arm all marines with ground attack weaponry and make sure the "planet buster" bombs are ready for launch.." Mr. S'Katchoo gives the Captain a raised eyebrow. Shields?..Phaser banks?..Photon torpedoes?..Shuttles?..Marines?..Planet buster bombs? What does this Captain think this ship is? The Death Star? But..the Captain wants "action", so i'll give it to him, muses Mr. S'Katchoo. Sitting down to his Science Station, Mr. S'Katchoo unlocks the bottom cabinet and takes out his Guitar. Finally, with the Planetary Speakers on full bLast, Mr. S'Katchoo begins playing: "Get your ski's shined up, Grab a stick of Juicy Fruit. The taste is gonnnnna move ya! Take a strip, Pull it ouuuut. The taste is gonna move it when ya pop it in your mouuuuuth! Juicy Fruit, it's gonnnnna move ya! Juicy soft, it gets right to ya! Juicy Fruit, The taste the taste the taste is gonnna move ya!" Meanwhile, down on Fart Point, people all over cup their hands over their ears and scream in terror... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Power Man is still wandering the halls looking for the Re-Cover room and muttering about that *&^%$% CAT. Suddenly his ears are deafened by loud guitar music and some voice Kat-erwauling something about "grabbing the stick of a juicy fruit".
"This must be "The Word from our sponsor" we have been waiting for. Boy, you can't tell me they don't crank up the volume on those things. Well I know how to handle commercials." Power Man hits the mute button on his helmet and blocks the rest of the noise. Power Man realizes that he may be lost. "I know I should have turned Left at that Last branch." He sees that the walls have taken on a different, smoother, almost grown look. "This almost looks like Organic Tech!!" He rounds a corner and sees three Old Fart Crones standing around a small vat of bubbling liquid. They are chanting as they add in various ingredients : Eye of nute, toe of frog, wing of Bat, and tongue of dog this is how we make this Grog. Oh this must be how they make the "Shake A Spear" ale. I'm glad I did not have any of That Last night. Suppressing his Manly Needs Not to ask for Directions Power Man asks the Old Fart Crones for the way back to the Re-Cover room. They of course delight in telling him "Where to Go" and "How to Get There". "Well How RUDE! Getting told off by those Old Farts. I will just have to keep looking for a way back myself" Will Power Man find his way back? Will the rest of the Team ever wake up?? Will we get another Commercial??? Stay TOONED….. [ May 09, 2003, 00:02: Message edited by: Power Man ] |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Captain Slog stardate 12.01 GMT
After, ahem, interviewing the dancing leather clad sheep in my ready room, I arranged for their permanent installation in cargo bay 1. I had noticed that the air was getting a big green in the cargo bay, but was amazed when all the methane appeared to be sucked out of the ship and down to a fortress buried under a mountain range on Fart Point. Given that the Away Team has been silent for the Last few hours, and was a bit incoherent before that, I assume that our brave away team has succumbed to methane poisoning. This evidence of hostile intentions, together with the laceration of the PEE tube sent up by the planet, leads me to believe that the natives of Fart Point are not friendly. Given the absence of communication, I must assume that our away team are dead. My course of action is clear, the Prime Directive (as amended and supplemented by the Growltigga Directive and the Hussein Codicil), requires me to revenge any unprovoked assault upon Galactic Federation starships. Mr S'Katchoo, you are now acting weapons officer in the absence of our dearly departed Mr Power Man and for the strange silence of Mr Dogscoff. Sound red alert, bring the ship to battle stations, raise shields, charge phaser banks, load and arm all photon torpedoes, rig the shuttles as ground assault craft, arm all marines with ground attack weaponry and make sure the "planet buster" bombs are ready for launch. Make it so..... Miss Patsy, please signal the mayor of Fart Point that they are now at war with the Galactic Federation. advise him that he has 5 minutes to hand back my away team, and to deliver the perpetrator of the PEE assault and methane sucking to our transporter room in chains and mildly beaten.. tell him that failure to comply will result in termination of the planet with extreme prejudice No methane breathing stinky wizended shindle shanked old tosspot sucks the sheep out of my ship..... |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
...Gradually recovering from his overzealous 'Taste-testing' of the liquid refreshments, Taz waits for the couch he is on to 'drop-out-of-warp' and stop spinning.
While he is waiting he thinks back on the experience. Fascinating how all the booze seemed to become whatever you were thinking about at the time. And that bar - wonder if that can fit in the PEE tube for the return 'beam-out'? Suddenly Taz is assaulted by the most lethal-sounding noise imaginable: The Infamous Juicy Fruit Theme Song. Jolted into action, Taz staggers to his feet and activates his communicator. "Taz to Captain: Some fiend is using Banned WMD's (Weapons of Mass Deafening) on us. Request you beam us and the nearby bar to safety." |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
suddenly, a hoard of drunken rats attacks the doors of the recovery room.
your still in the recovery room, except for power man, right? |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
The wise one stares at his spy screens which show the anitquated ship above, raising shields and bringing weapons on line. "Well now it seems these infernal, pesky, intruders are preparing for some type of aggressive infatuation with our illustirious FartPoint. Ok, if thats what they want, heheheehhe, then they shall reap that which they attempt to sow.. ahahahhah, laughs the wizen old one.
At that moment, LH#69 enters the inner sanctum of the control room and reports that she has received a message over the inter galactic express communicator. Apparently a group of what appears intelligent beings are requesting a get together to help irradicate the musky ones cluttering up our space. That is most obliging of them replys the Old Great One, send them that we accept their kind offer and to submit those lucious sounding LH clones immediatly. LH#69 rushes back to her communications room. LH #2, make sure our screens, weapons, and the secret ooze weapon are on line and ready to commence there most destructive implementation upon them the minute that old rust bucket up there fires. The old one records a message for LH#69 to send to this supposed Jean luc le Grand Chat Kat . LH#69 sends the following msg to the ship above There is nothing either intrinsically right or intrinsically wrong about liberty or slavery, democracy or autocracy, freedom of action or complete regimentation. It seems to us here on FartPoint that the greatest measure of happinsess and of well being for the greatest number of entities, and therefore the optimum advancement toward whatever sublime goal it is toward which this cycleof our existence is trending in the vast and unknownable scheme of things is to be obtained by securing for each and every individual, the greatest amount of mental and physical freedom compatible with the public welfare. We of Fartpoint warn you that any interruption of these fundamentals upon any of our race shall be construed as an act of war which shall be profusely pursued against those perpetrators of such despicable actions... "LH69 Send it. The humble old gentelman presses a switch on his console which in turn lets loose the unestimatable power of the bartookis beam, which snatchs the bar and ales from the landing party and returns it to within the confines of the immense fortrress. In addition, he pushes another button which sends out a small pointent beam at the turncoat mayor, ZAP, mayor no more... heheheh LH"3, what is the status on our cloaked fleet of Battlemoons? They are cloaked and directly above and below the intruder sir, she replys. The old one leans back, releases some essance of methane modules, and smiles...... |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Yeah! Juicy Fruit! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif
Kamog runs to the replicator, creates a few dozen packs of Juicy Fruit gum and starts handing them out to every crew member. Come on, let's sing along... Juicy Fruit, the taste is gonna move ya... |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
[and there's still a kareoke machine somewhere. hehehehe.]
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Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Power Man continues to “Trek” through the halls of Fart Point. As he turns a corner a Old Fart worker (who looks like an old movie star.. Charly or Charleton something) crashes into him. The poor fellow is clearly upset. He shouts:
I just found out something Just Nasty!! “Sol-Ent” Green ale … IT’s Made From People.. PEOPLE !! The poor sodden Sot runs off down the corridor. He clearly has gone “rownd the Bend!” Power Man suddenly remembers he “borrowed” Gwaihir‘s tricorder. “I can use that to find a way out of here. “ He turns it on and begins to scan the area. “WHAT ?? This thing is telling me there is a “+30 Goblin warrior” just down to hall. It is also showing me that there is chest with a +12 “helm of protection” behind me. Wait... This thing is stuck in “Game Mode” It looks like I am in the middle of the game “NeverWinter Nights”. Power Man fiddles with the controls trying to turn off the game. Finally he simply drop-kicks the tricorder across the floor. This causes the device to be “Re-Booted”. After a short time for memory checks, hardware checks, device driver loading and Finally a musical “Bling Bong Blong” the screen displays a list of program icons to chose from. The list includes Games, Phaser, Scanner, Shocker, Still More Games. (I’ll have to get Gwaihir to load some of these on My system). PM selects Scanner and starts Really scanning the area. Power Man is filled with “Raging Dread” at what he sees. There is Much More to the Fart Point station than appears on the surface. Power Man pulls out his communicator: Power Man to Taz, I am glad to hear that you have woke up (recovered) . I have been looking around this place. There is something “Big a Foot” going on around here. Be on the lookout for Anything!! Power Man to The Great, All Powerful, Yada Yada Yada, Captain Growltigga (Ya I am still “Sucking up”) : I have cleverly discovered (got lost in) a Vast underground area of Fart Point. I have discovered a vast amount of Organic Tech and other items. There Must be “Other Forces” at work here. Captain there is no way those Old Farts could have made this place. I urge you to calm down and reconsider any “Rash” Actions against Anus IV. Why don’t you order up some of that “Milk, Guernsey White, Warm” you like so much, and take a “Chill Pill” to cool off your Fiery Furry temper. The whole Federation and all Tigga Kind may be “Judged” by what you do next. Power Man traces out a “root” that will lead him out of the Bowels of Fart Point. “Lets see now I go Left, then Right, then Left again.. Boy this is just like driving the ship. I should be back with the Team in one or two Posts!!” (There, that should be enough “Plot Points” for now.) Keep on Trekking… http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
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"Uhhh, never mind Captain about the beam-out. I'll stay here and check out a few things." http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon6.gif Quote:
"Hmmm, I believe I hear Tribble Wings 'on the hoof'!" he mutters to himself http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif Taz sets his 'Mask' pistol to Allegiance SubVersion. (How else did you think he got the makings of tribble wings in the OLD Cantina?) http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif With a WHOOSH, Taz opens the door wide and shoots the rats. Even an unusually large skinny one at the rear of the pack. (He also just missed what appeared to be a fat big-headed one who runs off.) http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...s/rolleyes.gif Quote:
Taz tells all the rats, except the large skinny one, to sleep it off in the room. He then tells the big skinny one to lead him to wherever the bar has gone. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
LH#10 sitting at her spy beam station, keeps an eye on the landing party from the surrounded ship above, she notices the funny looking whirlwind following a skinny rodent towards the fortress. She presses the hot switch which puts her into instant contact with 'The Wise One'. She explains what is going on. The Wise One in turn calls LH#1 who is in charge of security. LH#1, notify our mobile assault team, Have them go out and retreave the whirlwind. LH#1, activates internal security and 25 armored and fleet of foot Britney Spears and Shania Twain Clones immediatly set out to capture and bring to bay the oncoming furball.
She also put on notice the Lopez and Kyle Armored assault Clones for possible ship board assault in case the master decides to board the ship. Meanwhile over in the fortress cantina, the overhead speakers were picking up some sort of ritualistic singing coming from inside the ship, something about "Does you chewing gum lose its flavor over nite", all the clones looked at each other but then started to sing along to the catchy tune.... What next will those despotic demons above come up with to ruin our poor Fart planet. Now they are sending out their ritualistic music... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
More thoughts drift through Gwaihir's fevered brain . . .
"That tricorder, that one had . . . it had . . . the program for the Phaser attachment . . . the old Version . . . oh no, i meant to delete that! . . . without the phaser piece, the one thats on my workbench in my room . . . it gives a loud "phaser unit not attached" error message . . . and about half the time it falls into an infinite loop saying that until you rip out the power cell . . . I sure hope no one tries to use it, especially if they are trying to be stealthy! . . . " ::Sorry for the confusion, Powerman, I have a couple (read: way too many) 'corders (I collect and repair/cannibalize busted equipment) . . . the phaser stuff is on board. Still, have fun! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif :: |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
[hoard of rats. still a lot here and there. and they like badly done singing. some of them are starting to improvise on the 'singing' their hearing.]
in an abondoned warehouse, 10 rats are singing 'juicy fruit, in a yellow subemarine'...badly. |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
The Scene: The Grand dark halls of the Palace of Deadstar!
*The grand opaque black metal carvings and walls streach up into the void of darkness above him. Purple strip lights light little areas of these walls and grand carvings excavate into the floor. Hidden by a black robe sits the leader of the Deadstar Continuum, The godess. Her bright red hair gently falls from beneath the hood which hides her beautiful features. Her fishnet clad crossed legs poke from underneath the robe. A servent walks in, a clone of the Ex Kittie Bassist Talena Atfield and serves her a drink. Senator Deadstar nervously stands before her as she sips the beverage and relaxes into her throne. "So what is the Status of the Continuum?" She asks, her voice sending a shiver up Raging Deadstars spine. "My godess, We have encountered a New Race, apparently called the Galactic Federation. The only contact with these comes through a narcistic, trigger happy Captain called Jean Luc Le Grand Chat, our probe droid is currently on board and has reported he has a weakness for dancing sheep. We have allied ourselves with the true power of Fart Point, a wise man called Mac. With your approval the destruction of the TSSS Phongs Head is immenent!" The Goddess smiled underneath her hood, her manipulative mind quickly formutlating a plan. "No, i suggest we monitor these beings a while longer, but they must not discover our Niridum Radioactive Extractors and the Brewery, they are vital to the next few stages of our expansion! No i suggest you keep a cloaked fleet of 3 Anathema's ready to intercept and destroy the ship but firstly capture and interrorgate a crew member, we need to learn more about this enemy!" Senator Deadstar nods and turns to leave the room knowing what rewards laid in wait of him if he were to suceed. He quickly orders the droid to capture one of the crew on board...*] *On Board the Phongs Head the Probe droid is still under the hologram disguise of the ensign, he is currently sharing the lift with a science officer known as S'Katchoo. The hologram pushes the stop button and the lift shudders. The vulcan complains but the hologram disappears and the probe droid activates it's sonic disrupter by playing N*sync (or N*Suck) at high level volume. The Vulcan S'Katchoo falls to his knees and is administered a drug and the droid begins the process of interrorgating the crippled vulcan. It activates it's Electric Taser, it's chemical poisoning device and it's large trout and begins salpping the vulcan across the cheeks constantly* "Firstly my Vulcan Friend, what are you doing at Fart Point?... And why is your eyebrow taped up?" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Science Officer S'Katchoo's head recoils from left to right as he continously gets slapped in the face with the trout.
*slap*slap*slap* Droid: "What are you doing at Fart Point?" *slap*slap*slap* Mr. S'Katchoo: ".. must .. hold out ..." *slap*slap*slap* Mr. S'Katchoo: ".. fish .... tenderising face .." *slap*slap*slap* Mr. S'Katchoo: "... loosing self ... control .... getting .. aroused ....." *slap*slap*slap* An odd smile comes over Mr. S'Katchoo's face as his willpower (and panties) break. Mr. S'Katchoo: ".. must seek .......... ale ... go bodly ........ cantina ......... before ...... shama-lama-ding-dong ..." *slap*slap*slap* Mr S'Katchoo: ".. slap it .... like you want it .... heeeeeeeeere fishy fishy fishy ..." *slap*slap*slap* http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Power Man, follows the path back to the Re-Cover Room. Suddenly the tricorder shows several +2 rats between him and the Room.
He does a quick check, No this thing's not back in “Game mode”. It is really “smelling a rat" out there. Power Man thinks "I will sneak up on "Those Dirty Rats" and try out the Phaser program." BEEP BEEP BEEP I’m Sorry but the program “Phaser” is not available at this time. Please try again later. BEEP BEEP BEEP I’m Sorry but the program “Phaser” is not available at this time. Please try again later. BEEP BEEP BEEP I’m Sorry but the program “Phaser” is not available at this time. Please try again later. “STOP that. Quiet!! Oh NO here come the Rats MY WAY !!” Power Man drop kicks the loud tricorder into the Rats stopping their charge, and also once again “re-Booting” the thing. He quickly takes out his powerful phase pistol and ZAPS all of the rats. (Wait A Minute.. Do I smell cooking Tribble Wings?) Power Man grabs the re-booted tricorder, enters the Re-cover Room and shuts the door behind him. He wakes up the two red shirts (who’s faces are finally back to normal). But he can’t seem to get a response from Gryphin. “I guess the “Old Bird” can’t hold his booze like the rest of us. “Power Man to the Great, Powerful , etc. etc. etc., Captain Growltigga I have made it back to the Team. It appears that Taz has gone off “In Search Of” our Ale and that huge bar. Both seem to have disappeared. Captain, I am going to take the team and do a through search of every nook and Crack of Fart Point. We will explore the “dark and smelly” parts of Anus IV. I hope to “Get to the Bottom of Things” and find out what trouble is “Brewing” around here. Captain, Captain ?? Please respond. Captain ? …..” “Oh Great. First Number 1 disappears and now the Captain goes “Postal-less” Power Man has the two red shirts carry Gryphin (who is a light as a feather). The team starts Treking deep into the Guts of Fart Point. (growltigger, You haven’t posted in a bit What has happened to you?? Sheep get your tongue ??) http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Guys, I can't keep up. I just don't have time to make the quality of post I would want to. I'll pop in now and then.
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Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
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As for himself, he figures that this might be a chance to 'get to the bottom of things'. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif Taz hides his weapon and stops spinning. Giving friendly hugs all around, he says, "Take Taz to paradise.., err I mean your leader!" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
I, walk into the dimly lit bar and instinctively go to my regular table by the fake window with the fake rain,.. "Taz I'll have a nice cool glass of JD on the rocks, and put it on RD's tab."
..aaaaah, feels good to take a moment to relax. I thought this place was lost, I missed the name change and wondered where all the people went. Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
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Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
*Senator Deadstar looks around in his control room as he watches Science Officer S'Katchoo get extremely aroused by getting fish slapped over and over again. Seeing this he pushes a few buttons and hopes the outcome will work..*
*The Probe droid floats over to the Vulcan and it's huge metal claw shoots out and impales S'katchoo to the wall by his neck. It then fires a poison dart at him and watches as the fast acting poison takes effect. The probe droid opens a hatch up and pulls out a ballerina's costume which he deposits on the floor. The droid lets go and reactivates it's hologram projector and the hologram ensign smiles as S'Katchoo puts the costume on over his uniform and pirouettes down the corridor before leaping away. Senator Deadstar smiles at the havoc the Vulcan could unleash. A few button presses later and the ensign disappears down the hallway, looking for someone more stable to interrorgate!* http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
The Armored Spears and Twain Clones latch on to the one team member that appears to be some type of carnivorous whirlwind. They attach manacles to his frame and proceed to lead him back to the fortress for interrotation. The poor creatchers appears to be drooling and salivatating from his profucious openings as he regards his captors. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif
Meanwhile, back at the fortress, the sharp Wisen one, advises his planet security to release the new mutated Rat forms, the ones which carry Lexington IX's. The new transmorganizer ray weapons. They immediatly head towards the 2nd landing team member, the one in the strange looking power suit.... In addition, a smallish type hollow beam is inserted thru the screens and armor of the waiting ship, the special essance of methane squad quickly releases a new mixture of essance into the ship's quarters to record the reactions of those on board... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
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I'm now setting a course to planet Minogue2 where we will all be able to take a tour of the Kylie Clone Factory. Once we get there, remember the red zone is for the imediate loading and unloading of Kylie Clones only, Please keep on the yellow path through the factory. I have a nifty new gadget to help me navigate, it's called a 'Warp-Point Generator Mark-V' It allows me to open a warp point to anywhere in the known universe. (I would have purchased a Mark-X but that model opens a warp-point to anywhere in the UnKnown Universe [and randomly at that] So the Mark-V is much safer for a rookie navigator like myself http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif Cheers! |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
The camera pans over an orbital view of the swirling methane clouds of Anus IV. The camera pans out to reveal the sleek but battered lines of the TSSS Phong's Head, navigation lights twinkling in the darkness of space.
Captain Slog stardate 13.54 GMT, the facade of the TSSS Phong's Head being a rustbucket has gone on long enough, we are at battle stations, it is time to de-cloak and reveal our true selves... Space shimmers and the TSSS Phong's Head is now revealed as the most be-weaponed, tough, vicious and all-out nastiest starcruiser in the history (or future) of galactic warfare.. the "go-faster stripes", fluffy dice hanging off the nacelles and quad exhausts just go to highlight the multiple turrets and launchers....... and the flashing lights of the disco kicking off in Ten Forward Captain to Lieutenant Commander Power Man, good man, flattery gets you everywhere, keep up the good work. We need to get to the bottom of the mystery of Fart Point. I suspect collusion from the evil Dead Star Continuumumumumu...... Power Man, try and find out what has happended to the other members of the away team... I am aware that Guinan, I mean Taz has been kidnapped, and we are currently checking the starship for intruders as Mr S'Katchoo has obviously been interfered with (and wont stop grinning anyhow)..... Where is my first officer? I need him to hold the fort whilst I launch a counter strike against the nasty old bugger in his fortress...... Security, assemble the martial horde of Salma Hayek and Liv Tyler lookalike security personell, make sure they are armed "for bear" and meet me in the transporter room... Captain Growltigga puts on his super-duper impregnable powered armour suite, and grabs his trusty cricket bat which doubles as a phaser cannon.... Suddenly, alarms go off round the ship "Awooga Awooga, small hollow beam trying to stick methane into the TSSS Phong's Head". GT and the security force charge to wear the beam has struck, and using the beam as ingress, transport into the mountain fortress of the evil Mac.... The Federation assault company materialises in a strange dark undergorund auditorium. Mac is sitting in his command chair in front of a circle of sand, kind of like the bullfighting arena at Ronda........ Mac panics when he sees the Federation troops and the mighty Growltigga.. He hits the sprinkler system which turns the sand into a sea of mud..... he calls for reinforcements and a horde of Liz Hurley, Britney Spears and Shania Twain clones rush into the auditorium...... Growltigga sees his moment, and orders his troops to charge..... the camera pans back (kind of like that bit in the Fellowship of the Ring when the goblins are chasing the fellowship in Moria) as the legions of Liz Hurley, Shania Twain, Britney Spears, Salma Hayek and Liv Tyler lookalikes charge towards each other screaming and yelling through the mud... Growltigga also seees his moment and pulls out a disrupt-o bomb. This explodes with the effect of disintegrating all the weaponry and clothing the girls have..... "So" Growltigga says as he sidles up to Mac, "what we have is about 2,000 assorted beauties rolling about in mud wrestling with each other and all stark naked"...."Yep" says Mac "Damn good isn't it" says Growltigga, "this is why I joined Starfleet" The chaps gaze on silently at the truly beautiful sight in front of them...... |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Power Man and his Team are winding their way deep into the Guts of Fart Point.
"Power Man to Captain Growltigga: Thanks for the Promotion. You have really Raised My Spirits. " I would like you to beam poor Gryphin directly to six bay. It seams that he is not recovering from all of his hard work. I know that the "Good Doctor" may get upset when he sees the "Old Bird". He will probably say something like "Darn It folks I am a Doctor, Not a VET!!" But with this crew, doctor and vet are the same thing." With that, Gryphin is beamed back to the ship. Suddenly the tricorder shows 20 "+10 Large Brewery Rats" approaching the Team. "OK Team spread out. Set your phasers to "Full ZAP" and "fire at Will" (good thing Will is not here). The rats surprise the team when they start firing Back! Their strange rays hit the two red Shirts (who else?? Certainly not me, I am a Regular Character!! ) The two red shirts are transformed into Pink shirts. They start mincing about, and complaining about the terrible room décor and the smelly rats (who they continue to ZAP). They are hit again. This time they transform into Yellow shirts. They start Screaming and running all around. They leave yellow puddles every where. They start Zapping everything. They are hit again. This time they are turned into Very large Green Shirts. With a booming "HO HO HO" They happily start stomping the Rats into "Ratta ca-Blooie". Boy do they look all Jolly, Green, and Giant. Soon all the Rats are gone. The team continues on. They finally reach the Deepest Darkest smelliest Pit at Fart Point. "Captain: We have found something. We are just outside of a large Pit. We can see several large machines that appear to be penetrating deeply into Anus IV. The tricorder is picking up high levels of radioactivity." Captain I can see "Dead People Walking" around the machines. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif You are right there is collusion from the evil "Dead Star Continuumumumumu...... " Captain I think Fart Point is being used to mine radioactives. As a "buy"-product it produces huge amounts of methane and many types of alcoholic beverages that the Old Farts are selling at the " fake Brewery". There is so little light and power down here I can't see much more. If there was only a way to "shed some light on the subject" we could quickly wrap up this whole episode. I am glad that you and the Major have opened up a dialogue. Nothing like "2000 assorted beauties rolling about in mud wrestling with each other and all stark naked" to get two chaps wanting a little "piece - I mean- peace" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif [ May 12, 2003, 16:57: Message edited by: Power Man ] |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Captain Growltigga to Brigadier General Imperator of the Universe and Il Duce of the Galaxy Power Man. You can have all the promotions you want... if you see that mayor, tell him to come on down to Mac's cavern, the view down here is just fantastic...
and as for violence, how on earth could any red-blooded male consider brawling with his enemies when he is viewing Salma Hayek holding Britney Spears in a half nelson, whilst Shania Twain and Liv Tyler and entwined in what I think is a old phoenician wrestling hold and Liz Hurley is rubbing her inner thighs where Liv Tyler kicked her.... and all this repeated about 400 times..... Mac and me are enjoying a moment of entente cordial..... as well as a couple of good brewskis... Growltigga to Phong's Head, stand down from red alert, go to yellow alert and send me down my video-recorder |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
uh, taz did not kidnap me. he kidnapped one of my rats. narf, as i should have posted before, left the planet after selling all his pet rats. when he gets back he's going to be real mad about the mistreatment of his rats too. i mean, TRIBBLE WINGS? these are gentle pets! and turning some of them into geneticly engineered attack rats...
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Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
...Watching from his cell overlooking Mac's auditorium, Taz has a ringside seat to Mac's & GT's Mud Fight of the Century! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif
Making good use of the cell's replicator, Taz creates a few boxes of popcorn, a couple bottles of liquid refreshment, a pair of high power binoculars, and a stereo set playing the Rocky III theme song. (Unfortunately he shorts out the unit trying to replicate a sofa http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif ) Nothing better then being there while history is being made! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif Quote:
See? No worse than your average politician. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
taz will get one whack, then
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Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Growltigga and Mac whisper to each other for a few moments, before nodding and reaching agreement.
With a flamboyant wave, Mac triggers again the sprinkler system and turns on a supersized stereo with some cool flamenco and salsa tunes on it.... The mud is washed off the brawling horde of beeeeyewwwwwtiful young ladies as they continue to scrap in the wet.... Mac and Growltigga turn to each other and shake hands, a treaty is reached and the Galactic Federation, and Mac, Galactic Overlord of Fart Point are now the best of chums...... Now all we need is a triumphal party, we have the music, we, ahem, have dancing partners..., we have a planet full of top booze, thanks to Taz and Narf we have stacks of kentucky fried rodent, we have managed to lose that daft first officer of mine, Mr Ryker, I mean Mr Dogscoff, what else could we possibly need? |
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Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Captain Growltigga activates his teleportation redirection field... Commander Dogscoff is immediately redirected to the Fart Point Homes for Aging Ladies of the Night.....
The said ladies, deprived of any, ahem, business for quite a while and suffering from several years of sensory deprivation, are duped into believing that Commander Dogscoff is actually a good looking chap clutching a large amount of viagra.... Camera fades to ending credits for Episode 1 Encounter at Fart Point amid the sounds of Commander Dogscoff being pounced upon by some right old minging boilers!! What's the next episode "No loo roll - the TSSS PHong's Head encounters the Klingons"? |
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