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Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
What is going on around here? This thread has fallen down to the middle of the second page; in threat of going to the third! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif
*Ragnarok borrows Narfs hammer and walks to RDs little corner and wacks RD across the head a few times. Then he returns the hammer to its original owner.* "Thanks Narf." http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
* minipols hasn't visited in a while so he drops in, orders a nice cold Duvel and slurps away. Damn, i thought i got some salts with that? I sure as hell won't tip the waitress now. *
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Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Yeah Ragas, there just doesnt seem to be the same appetite for cartoon violence that there used to be...
Sign that we are all growing far too old and conservative in our tastes or what? |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Cartoon violence? Hhhm. Southpark rocks as do the "old school" cartoon shows like tom & jerry, roadrunner and so on.
I like any cartoon because that means i can sit down and relax, basically be lazy http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
minipol, is that just before someone dings you in the face with a frying pan, with a humourous "DDDOOOOOONNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGG" noise?
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Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Woundwort, what statue? I thought I had strapped C4 to a holographic projecture?!!! what is this red button by the way? why is it flashing? what happens if I push it? BOOM! oh that does.
Oh well, no worries eh? she'll be right PS GT pulls out his cricket bat, and swipes the message bot mightily, it flies in a great arc across the cantina, till its hits Rags in the derriere, rips through his fey clothing and buries itself up his bum.. Note to Woundwort, I will let you off a month's rent if you self destruct that bot NOW [ July 23, 2003, 14:22: Message edited by: Growltigger ] |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
*After being hit Ragnarok walks out of the Cantina looking like hes just been riding a horse for 42 weeks straight without getting off, and/or he was just searched for drugs of the non-legal sort up his bum by a 300 pound man named Billy Bob.* http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif
*Ragnarok knowing better then to get into a fight with the great 'Tigga simply walks over, and shakes his hand and says (with a slight bit of pain in his voice, "Great hit, sir. Home run I do believe."* *Ragnarok then retrieves a "donut" seat and proceeds to sit in his usual corner booth.* |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Rags sits down as an ominous ticking sound proceeds to come from his rectum.
The patrons of the cantina overturn the tables and get behind them, kind of reminiscient of the 101st at Bastogne... Wailing mournful music starts...the lights darken, and augmented by the ticking sound from Rag's fudge tunnel, GT proceeds to sing sad songs about the breifness of existence, the terseness of life and the end of being as it relates to having timebomb stuffed up your jacksy |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
[slight buzz is heard - transport beam has activated]
[ Rags - you owe me one ] [ July 23, 2003, 16:03: Message edited by: General Woundwort ] |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Woundwort, read the penalty clause for crossing me in your contract and beam that bomb back!
Growltigga carries on singing mournful french piaf-esque dirges about the problems of mortality when 5 kg of TNT is about to go off in your back bottom |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
[star-trek like commo squeal]
I could beam the bot back, Boss, but it's not like they come with 5 kg of TNT as standard equipment, you know... |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Edited for possible not beaming of bot back.
[ July 23, 2003, 16:18: Message edited by: Ragnarok ] |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Woundwort, I inserted 5kg of TNT into the bot via my cunning "TNT-insertor-disguised-as-a-cricket-bat" device. Beam it back before I call my lawyers, and they call their enforcers
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Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Growl,
using a "TNT-insertor-disguised-as-a-cricket-bat" device is very cunning and devious as nobody understands cricket here! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif * minipol turns his head to the bar to order another Leffe when suddenly: DDDOOOOOONNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGG * * after minipol gets his face from the ground, he wonders how he could have missed that frying pan * * minipol notices that after the cowardly frying pan attack, his face looks better because looking worse wasn't possible, hehe * |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
[Star Trek commo screech again - her-eeeee-oooh }
My most abject apologies, Boss, but I've been informed that the bot in question was isolated and destroyed upon arrival here. It seems the security protocols I instituted for the protection of your property are being followed with gusto. Please send further instructions... |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Another small, round, and eminently expendible message bot floats up to Growltigger and flashes a message...
"You know Boss, if you didn't like that statue, all you had to do was say so..." |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Woundwort, oh for gods sake, call youself a suitable satanic lackey able to fun a cantina and terrorise it with the levels and intensity of cartoon violence expected from you??!!
Growltigga blows a whistle, and several Jean-Paul Gaultier clad fey looking Belgian sailors turn up (all called Henk except for the big one who is called Wuffles). Gentlemen, rectal explosives need inserting, that funny looking bloke in the corner who's lower intestine is ticking. The happy laughing Belgians (there are some you know) giggle and sprint over to Rags, pin him down, rip off his troUsers and insert a 5kg C4 enema, attached to a large alarm clock/detonator All done boss they say as they disappear off into the kitchen... OK, to quote that famous song by Europe, this is the final countdown for Rags, I really did think that Raging Deadstar would be here to watch his arch-nemesis explode a la "one Last wafer thin mint sir" a la Monty Python -The MEaning of Life... 5 minutes and counting |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Which cartoon is that, Boss... South Park?
Starfury sector, out. |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
You got it Woundwort, although here, we tend to shout "They've killed Rags, they've killed Rags"
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Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
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Well see you guys next week. I'm leaving for Scotland tomorrow. 8 days of rain are coming my way. woohoo. (why woohoo you might think? is minipol crazy? of course, i am, otherwise i wouldn't be coming to this cantina right? but what's my point. i go to scotland, it rains, we'll have to do indoor activities. What is Scotland known for besides nessie and funny people walking around in skirts? Right. Whisky. lalalalala. drink drink drink lalalalala.) * minipol orders a "Straffe Hendrik", drinks it and walks out. * |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Och, I love Boonny Scotland me, roamin' in the gloamin', highland flings (if you are lucky), lots of good seafood and organic meat, whisky, strong beer, lots of booze, horizontal rain and storm force winds, freezing temperatives and bagpipes, ye' canna beat it.
The number of times I have stumbled along the promenade in OBan singing a derivation of "Scotland the Brave", the first verese of which goes as follows: There's a fine Scottish lassie With a big hairy assie Who is lifting up her kiltie At a young ladddy booyyyyy Singing... nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah etc Brilliant, pure magic. Makes you want to wear a kilt, grab a claymore and shout "Freedom" at the top of your lungs |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Um... Rags not go boom ?
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Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
*Raging Deadstar teleports down, walks over and shakes Ragnaroks hand, orders an apple juice, waves goodbye to ragnarok and tells rags to say goodbye to sitting down*
Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif (It's good to see people bullying rags whilst i'm away http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif ) |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
2 minutes and counting
Rags, I am a lawyer so if you want to record your Last will and testament, feel free to do so. Otherwise, you know, Cantina rules apply and I automatically get all of your assets as a result of a cantina related death (how do you think I afford to run this place?!) |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
1 minute...
Do I get the feeling that me and Rags are the only people here? OK, drastic measures, free beer for all visitors |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Waaaa? Free Beer? Did someone replace Gt with a clone again? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif
Geo |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Motion is just an illusion. Need proof?..
Check this out. Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
David Gervais, the motion that Rags is about to experience is not going to be an illusion, but kind of like a Saturn V rocket shooting up to the stars on a pillar of fire. Rags will do his best impression of a rocket launch yet...
oh, and by the way, 30 seconds and counting. I am surprised Rags hasn't been in the cantina pleading for mercy. and no Geo, I am not a clone, but given how dead the cantina has been in recent weeks, I needed to do something to spark up trade. |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Less sophist guile from you Mr David Gervais, otherwise I may have to play "exploding bum cricket" with your derriere as well.
Thinking of which, I cannot recall that you have ever been a recipient of cartoon violence here in the cantina. Maybe it is time for the old frying pan trick. And yes, I am about to get taken off into real life for a few weeks. I have only had 1 holiday this year, not like the 8 I had Last year! |
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Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
I see Gt, the 'motion' that Rags is about to experience is more of an e-motion and go-motion type. (the kind that 'stretches' the boundries of human/virtual endurance.) I was talking about 'visual-motion' which is a matter of 'perception'. No doubt Rags will have his eyes shut during his upcomming experience so he'll miss out on the visual-motion. But that's ok, the rest of us will enjoy the show http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif
Btw: I suspect the reason for the slowing down of Posts here at shrapnel is due to many people being on vacation and have been sucked into real life for a few weeks. Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Sorry Rags, David Gervais is too much a gentleman to have that happen to him. You on the other hand??!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif
5-4-3-2-1 the cantina patrons dive for cover as Rags lower intestine explodes, a jet of fire, carefully channelled thanks for GT's shaped charge, explodes out of his rectum... a second passes and noticably, Rags is now severally feet off the floor, balancing on a pillar of flame, he accelerates, smashes through the roof and jets off into the sky. The cantina patrons all run into the carpark where they join barry in gazing at the ascending yank.. GT looks at his watch, 5-4-3-2-1, the secondary charge goes off and Rags explodes at 3000 feet into a blaze of beuatiful fire.... Hastily umbrellas are hoisted as bits of Rags fall to earth over a wide area. Cue party, cue Weather Girls, Cue Gerry Halliwell, Cue startt of new dance hit, "its raining Rags, hallelujah its raining Rags" Camera pans out at vision of the cantina carpark turned into a mass disco, booze is flowing and everybody is having a great time. Dont worry about Rags, we have the technology to rebuild him, or failing which, he might make great compost. Now, anyone for a game of cricket? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
*As everyone is partying David Gervais sits down in his chair and begins to relax. Raging Deadstar quickly puts on a mask and sneaks up on him. A good swing of the the forearm later with agigantic wok and david gervais is sprawled out on the floor with a giant red bruise coming from his head. RD removes the mask and carries on partying, knowing the "pan handler" has struck again!* http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif
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Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
..as the party begins I notice a bit of strange movement out of the corner of my eye... several of Rag's bits and pieces are liquifying and merging togeather. Omg,.. Rags is a 'terminator' and no doubt "He'll be back" once he fully 'merges' back into form.
Oh well,.. Bartender, a 'mug' of Jack Daniels please,.. Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
David Gervais, you may be right, quick, get the liquid nitrogen cannon up here quick. We can freeze him and them smash the bits up with a hammer...
or maybe we can take the bits round the garbage compressor at the back of the cantina, and then crush it in that, or maybe we can get a flamethrower and bake his bits... Hey, Rags in pieces looks like being far more fun than when he was whole! |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Raging Deadstar, I feel our first hunt coming on (when you have reassembled yourself anyhow). How could you viciously assualt David Gervais like that?
With that smiling face, cuddly beard that looks like it has been slightly foxed, heavily badgered and possibly mildly beavered, he is just to cute to attack violently for no reason. It would be like setting fire to a kitten (dont ANYONE SUGGEST THEY HAVE DONE THAT) or flambe'ing a puppy! Actually, if you and Rags are joined as one, we can have a great double chase, whilst us lot are dressed as doctors, and the FBW's are dressed as nurses! Oh wow http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
The image of them joined together arguing about which way to go during the chase.
The image of GrowlTigga dressed up as a nurse. |
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Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Boss, I need some sleep. I could swear I read 'setting fire to a kitchen', and I wondered why you would be upset by that.
Anyway, while you all were having fun out in the park, I used my Mercury costume's 'flash mode' and repaired the roof in time not to have bits of Rags come in through the hole and land in our beer. I've also replaced the charred floor where he took off. Hmm... a Rags/RD combine... would that be like that three-headed giant in The Holy Grail ? |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
..groggy and a bit disoriented, I feel a sharp pain on my head. I reach up and find an abnormally large goose egg bump on my head. I press it flat and as I do so another grows on another part of my head... I push that one in and another grows,.. omg,.. the 'Pan Handler' has given me a case of perpetual bumps.
..Raging Deadstar thinks he was wise to wear a costume and mask to the party, but the fact that it isn't a costume party makes him stand out like a sore thumb. (He should have dropped the pan, as I was pressing the bumps on my head and new ones were growing, the exact same phennomina was happening to the pan. It was a dead giveaway as to who was responsible.) ..at Gt's suggestion I bring up the liquid nitrogen canon and instead of targeting rags, I aim at RD and with a quick pull of the trigger turn him into a popcicle. I pick up a chair and procede to smash him into tiny bits... As the bits begin to melt and reform, I notice that some of RD's and Rags 'pieces' are getting confused and merging with each other.... hmmm, I think a new lifeform is being created. Wahahahahahaha. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif [ August 01, 2003, 12:11: Message edited by: David E. Gervais ] |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Steps in out of nowhere :: Eases himself around the bits and pieces :: Gets to the bar :: orders a glass of what ever Mac drinks (hoping it is safe ::
Guys I miss this place. Wish I could keep up with and compete with you. Um, could you put that drink on Growltigga's tab for "Olde Tymes Sake" Enjoy [ August 01, 2003, 12:24: Message edited by: Gryphin ] |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Mac waves at the Gryphin and order brewskis all around from Taz, he whispers to Taz, "Put it on Dogscoff's Tab http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif "
just some ideas Mac |
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Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
As Taz finishes putting Mac's drinks on Dogscoff's Tab, he notices the rather large bill outstanding...
Taz takes Dogscoff's Tab over to the Boss for his initials. 'Mr GT, sir, I need you to initial Dogscoff's tab so the collections section can get started on it! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif ' 'Also here is the Flambéed Puppy you asked for...' http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif As GT eyes the golden brown fire-roasted puppy, Taz hastens to add: 'I didn't harm a hair on any kittens, honest!' http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif Quote:
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Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
*Suddenly all the pieces of Raging Deadstar start to repel themselves away from Ragnaroks and reform to become RD*
Hey theres no way I'm sharing a body with Rags, i have no idea what his personal hygiene is! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif *Raging Deadstar thinks and then makes a quick call to his ship, where after a few minutes a Vanessa Feltz clone appears. RD Pulls out a Quantum Torpedo Launcher and blows Vanessa Feltz into a thousand pieces, which then proceed to get mixed up with the reforming Ragnarok.* Now the result of this will be fun! A 20 ton Overweight Ragnarok with breasts. Should make good fun for hunting. Of course we better keep Mac away from him/her. With his failing eyesight we could have a problem! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Mac looks up from his research papers and notices what appears to be a large breasted woman (?) across the dance floor, hmmm, now there's a set of hooters worth looking at, d... just need some stronger glasses tho, she seems to be a little hefty in the hips... hmmmm, as Mac trys to adjust his glasses to get a more pronounced look at the aspiration across the way, "Taz, he yells, pls send the lady across the way a drink and put it on the Gryphins tab" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif
hastly glass adjusting Mac http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon6.gif |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
a Rags/Feltz combination, oh my god RD, what have you done? not even Barry would be able to stop that behemoth should it decide to attach Tokyo??!!
Taz, thanks for the flambed puppy, I am going to have a crack team of inspectors check out your allegatyion that no kitten was harmed, if it was? let's just say furballs wont be much of a problem for you afterward if you get my drift, cos you wont have any........ Someone send the Rags/Feltz thing to Mac, I need to see this. Erax, good work, now if only you can repair the orgasmatron (hasn't been the same after I went into it with those 4 kylie clones) - Mac may need it very very soon |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Umm... sure. I don't have its specs,* just tell me what it's supposed to do and I'll go on from there.
* - A search on the forum turned up nothing, this must have happened WAY back. |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Erax, if you dont know what an orgasmatron is meant to do, then you are not old enough to be on this thread!
what on earth were you doing with that Giselle Bundchen clone? playing chess? going to the museum? taking her to the zoo? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif |
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