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Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
The Cats out of town, penalize away.
Bring down the roof, unleash the loo-worshipers, drink the Last of the booze, and start the bonfires. the place is toast. lets take this show on the road |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Maybe we should keep posting 'till GT comes back from the desert...
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Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
I think GT is going to be awfully mad at Puke for taking 2000. I would watch out if I were you Puke. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif
This is post 2002. The same year it is. Wow. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif Well for another 6 1/2 hours at least. |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
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Why is everyone looking at me like that? Oh crap. I did not say this ... I was not here [ December 31, 2002, 23:30: Message edited by: Arkcon ] |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
If he wants post 2k he can delete post. That will bring the number down. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif
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Besides, there's all sorts of unanswered questions that are remaining: What are the "Gryphin Position" and "Circle the Wagons"? And who are "loo worshippers?" |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
So we march on to the 2500 Posts of till the Fury Feline gets back.
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Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
..then again maybe it's just not it's time to die!
I for one don't want to be accused of murder. Especially not the murder of such a fine thread. "Live and let Live!", "Live long and prosper!", Let's "leave well enough alone!" Some say reset the 'post due date' to 2500 Posts, I say why not 10,000? (After all think of all the promotions that will be had by then!) We'll all be Generals and everyone will wonder how we got there! lol Let's keep the secret alive! Just MHO, Cheers! |
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Ok, maybe a little thick, but I always liked my gravey thick! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif Cheers! |
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Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
*Slowly parks his dented battle cruiser into the parking lot, yet again hitting one of the parking meters. Before Raging Deadstar can get out the ship is mabushed by the loo worshipping pygmies run over and cover the ship in toilet paper before escaping to vandalise more property.
Wanders inside to see the New years celebrations still under swing, with ragnarok hanging from the rafters by his belt for some reason, Timstone has currently nipped off upstairs with his polish girlfriend for a few minutes, looks like we won't be seeing him for a while... Puke meanwhile is trying hard to drown the fact he stole post number 2000, drowning it with a lot of brewskis on timsones tab. The other patrons are all sitting back cheering our very own Barry, the singing parking valet t-rex in full concert* Happy New Year guys Kamog: The loo worshipping pygmies were something i came up with *takes full credit* A lot of the patrons were worried about setting foot in the inner sanctum to relieve themselves, so forth leaving a mess outside in the parking lot. Then the sewer god appeared, then our very own puke banished this fiend. Well i think it was puke, if not please tellme and you can have access to my tab. I'm not doing much research on this part of the post! |
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Ok, maybe a little thick, but I always liked my gravey thick! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif Cheers!</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Mmmmm, verbal sauce... "That'sa spicy meataball!" |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Not a bad idea David! This Version of The Cantina is the first I've seen and it's a bloody shame to wreck this Cantina. Why not carry on with it and be happy with all the strange things that happened here. I remember the first time I got here. The Loo-Worshippers were just discovered and were wreaking havoc upon every man that set foot in their holy shrine. It was such a happy time, the time that GT ruled The Cantina with an iron fist. Yes, those were the days!
I join you David in the quest to preserve this Cantina! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon6.gif |
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Yowzer! |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
As the Loo-worshiping pygmies rampage through the parking lot, Puke produces an oversized acetylene torch, and ignites his remaining shots in a spaztic moment of drunken revelry. His phalanx of GHB-miniturized FBW-clones fly into a panic at the suden inferno that has be lit behind them, and dash across the Cantina floor.
The mad dash of movement sends a twitch of panic through all in the room, which unfortuneatly includes the already trigger-happy llamas. The Cantina falls into slow motion, as contrails from the llamas missiles streak hither and yon. Patrons scamper about shreiking, some smothered by exploded Custard Munitions, others with limbs partially gnawwed off by rampaging Pygmies. Puke slams a flaming shot of Grey Goose down his gullet. Security FBWs cut down rowdy llamas with their concealable Anti-Proton-BLasters. Bystandards choke to death on custard, as missiles continue to streak accross the room. In one dark corner, unmolested by the chaos, a perticularly fateful game of chess is being played. |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
At which point an explosion makes the cantina shudder to its foundations, a deluge of custard smothers those unlucky enough to come into it's path.
Raging Deadstar wipes his face clean for the umpteenth time and looks down at the game of chess with mac, whom is sitting back slowly sipping a brewski smiling one of his old smile, the smile that says "I Have you beaten 5 different ways, now move already!" Raging Deadstar moves his rook forward, takes mac's bishop, and falls into despair as Mac then says the words checkmate. He stands up and valiantly congratulates Mac on his stunning victory, buys mac a brewski then does what any self respecting cantina resident is doing at this point. He turns, picks up his 1 month old baguette, spies the pygmy dancing around a fallen ragnarok, swings back, FORE! And proceeds to watch as the pygmy is sent flying across the room by a fearsome golf swing. Feeling better after his defeat Raging Deadstar dives over the bar, ducks as a rocket of custard explodes above his head. He pulls out a tape recording device, whispers a word and throws the tape player across the room to where a group of trigger happy llamas are firing there munitions. One curious llama piskc it up, presses play, hears the word onion shouted out on full volume and the group are covered by the falling rampage of onions! Touche! |
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Mensch, on the verge of uttering curses upon the lot of the Cantina's remnants, suddenly closes his mouth, turns, and starts to walk away. He kicks a beer can, which unbeknownst to him contained an entire civilization of 200 trillion sentient intelligent beings. They all die. The god of which, enraged that the Last 200 billion years of prodding evolution have gone to waste (an old beer can apparently), burns himself out of existence by zapping the fourth hair down from the knuckle on Mensch's left hand pinky. A puff of smoke and that familiar smell of trying to light an already used match on the kitchen stove. He climbs in his craft and sets off scowling all the way and looking for something new under the bright glow of the galactic center. |
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Mensch, on the verge of uttering curses upon the lot of the Cantina's remnants, suddenly closes his mouth, turns, and starts to walk away. He kicks a beer can, which unbeknownst to him contained an entire civilization of 200 trillion sentient intelligent beings. They all die. The god of which, enraged that the Last 200 billion years of prodding evolution have gone to waste (an old beer can apparently), burns himself out of existence by zapping the fourth hair down from the knuckle on Mensch's left hand pinky. A puff of smoke and that familiar smell of trying to light an already used match on the kitchen stove. He climbs in his craft and sets off scowling all the way and looking for something new under the bright glow of the galactic center.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Heh, Jmenschenfresser we did get rid of the pygmies for a while, but the recent invasion of health inspectors insulting thier way of living and a few weak bladdered llamas have left them slightly miffed! |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Mac thanks RD for a good game of chess and watches his golf swing admiring the dexterity of the drive, aaaa, nice shot, Mac orders another brewski on Rags tab, looks around and mumbles to himself, "its a shame the "device" has been engaged and nothing can stop the countdown, the only problem is, no one knows the exact time or post that the "device" shall pour forth its unknown containments" so everyone, throw a loo worshiper, pound the llamas, drink a toast or two, becareful of the "O" word, and remember, this
THE "DEVICE" IS COUNTING DOWN http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif just some ideas Mac |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
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*Sees mac pointing to a thermonuclear device covered with onions and llama dung* Zounds. [ January 03, 2003, 03:14: Message edited by: TerranC ] |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Oh, that's THE DEVICE. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif It's making me feel very nervous and uneasy. I think I'll go to the opposite end of the cantina and try not to think about it...
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Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
No, you knuckleheads http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif , THE DEVICE is something we can't see. Read the foregoing Posts. We saw Mac going in a hidden room. Hmm... I'm curious who dropped the thermonuclear device out of his/her pocket. I go to work and see if I can stop the countdown on the thermonuclear bomb. Could be fun...
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Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
GoooOOOoooOOOoooOOOoooNNnnGGggg
(puke quickly hides a large mallet behind his back) what nuclear device? I thought it was a stylish bell. The device that I'm worried about, is the one the donkey was talking about. And while your aged baguette may be mighty, my stale foccica has range: THUNK! take that! [ January 03, 2003, 09:11: Message edited by: Puke ] |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Who are you wacking?!
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Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Don't look now, but that IS a pygmie in your pocket! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif
Would anyone like a piece of my coconut cream-banana custard pie with whipped cream on top?... FOOD FIGHT! ..I sit at a private booth and activate the force-field for my own security! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
You cowart! You start a food fight and now you retreat?! Pff... Come out and fight like a man!
Damn pies, they make it near impossible to disarm the bomb. Ow! More food on my hands. Come on guys! Give me a break, the bomb needs to be turned off! *In a flash of good thinking, Timstone activates his Timetraveling Gearbox, jumps on it and escapes to another timeframe, the time that the bomb was only just set by Puke.* *Timstone disarms the bomb without even brewaking sweat and returns to his original timeframe.* "Timetraveling is sooo cool!" he shouts and receives a nasty custard pie right in the kisser. Timstone grabs some food nearby and joins the cantinawide foodfight. |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Ragnarok grabs his Twin Pie Launchers (TPL) and loads them full with pies. He then starts running around the room like he was Lara Croft from Tomb Raider firing pies like there is no tomorrow. He hits Timstone in the ear as Timstone was just getting ready to throw a pie at David.
Ragnarok then hears a noise that sounds like a high speed football flying towards his direction. He turns around and theres 4 pies flying at him. He bends backwards in a Matrix style move and avoids them all. He then springs back up and spots RD who was the one throwing the pies. Rags reloads his TPLs and just starts going hog wild on RD with the pies. RD is forced against the wall and Rags just continues to pummle him with pies in the face and anywhere else it may hurt. ( http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif ) With smoke rolling of Rags TPLs he pulls them up and blows the smoke off. He then spins his TPLs on his fingers and holsters them like an old western gun fighter. |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
*Raging Deadstar slowly gets up and wipes the pie off his clothes slowly. Ragnarok has the biggest grin on his face and slowly turns round and his smile falls as he sees his adversary. Raging Deadstar continues to talk in fake japanese ninja accent*
"You have insulted my 'honour'.....now you must pay...yes....hoo hah" *He then proceeds to pull out his baguette and cracks ragnarok right between the legs. as ragnarok limps around with tears in his eyes RD grabs a blender, picks up a custard pie, some O-word and some llama dung and creates a very pale looking smoothy, grabs the hosepipe kept behind the bar and attacks the limping ragnarok with a classic culinary cocktail of chaos (alliteration or what! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif ). Ragnarok is swept away by the delluge. Raging Deadstar laughs, turns round and gets a custard pie by timstone right in the face, SPLAT!* *Upon this travesty Raging Deadstar threatens to send his latex clad polish girlfriend to the time of the black death, Timstone being a demon and all sells RD his soul to save his night of romantic passion, RD Accepts and takes it to his ship, puts it ina jam jar and places it next to his collection of nuclear pocket lit, a 200 year old jar of mayonaise now home to a sentient species and his jar of assorted shrunken demons and calls it a day* |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
"Hick".......Round on me!......."Hick"
(Oooh I don't feel so well http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif ) |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
The Activation of the Temporal Gearbox cause fluctuations in the fabric of reality, causing a breakdown in the data files used for the mod that was keeping Puke's Nausea Styled Battlemoon in orbit over the Cantina. The light from the skylight brightens, as the internal glow from the Battlemoon gets closer.
losing internal cohesion, the Battlemoon begins to fall appart. 50 Megatons of vomit and organic weaponry (and a whole lot of contraband booze) begin to tumble at terminal velocity towards the Cantina. Smaller fragments begin to impact first, disabling vehicles in the parking lot, slaying a few pygmies and the odd escaped llama or two, and burrying those outside in knee-deep spew. The main bulk of Nausea one tumbles slowly (for dramatic effect) towards the Cantina-proper. Patrons appropriately scurry about. The rocket-propelled foodfight continues, as Puke flings flaming shotglasses of Grey-Goose at any who attempt to pie him. RD's baguette is coated in burning alcohol, and would-be combatants cower in fear from his newfound burning sword. |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
I like the idea puke, i really like that idea
*starts chasing pygmies with his flaming baguette (that can sound so bad in the minds of those who worry that their genitals can cactch aflame)* |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Rags is still laying on the floor in pain after the royal butt whooping he recieved from RD. Rags finally gets up and goes to a near booth to finish recovering. He has a couple drinks and he finally gets up once more and dodges flying pies as he makes hi way over to RD. He taps on RDs shoulder and RD turns around, he then says: "Hey RD, Truths?" RD thinks for a moment then accepts. RD proceeds to extend his arm out to shake Rags hand to seal the deal. Rags then pulls his arm back and raises one leg and his arms extend out into a Ninja position. He forms his fingers into a position that looks like claws. Rags then yells out with the highest voiced pitch he can muster: "TIGER CLAW!"
RD looks at Rags arms with bewilderment and is confused about the whole situation. Rags then kicks RD swifty where it counts and he then proceeds to do the can-can dance and continues to pummel RD in the southern region. Rags finally stops kicking RD and he calls Timstone over. Rags wispers something in Timstones ear and Timstones begins to laugh uncontrolably like a evil madman. Timstone then takes his gearbox and sends RD back in time to the point where Rags used his TPLs on RD. Timstone then just sets his gearbox on auto repeat so that RD is stuck in that time loop for a few hours. |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
I hear ticking. tick........tick......tick
Well, maybe I was hearing things! mlmbd http://www.shrapnelgames.com//ubb/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
omg, I just found out a terrible secret,.. the Pygmies are actually Gremlins! well at least I think they are, I saw one eat one of the pies and then it transmuted right before my eyes... Now it's got gas and every time it passes wind a depleted uranium cell is ejected. Quick everyone get to the life pods, unless you know how to deal with Gremlins! 'Phaaaap!' look out there goes another one. omg the gremlin is heading to the engine room! Aaaaaaaaaaah run for your lives.
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Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
As the members are enjoying their food fight, and Puke's Battlemoon is disintergrating, a voice reverberates from everywhere in the cantina
HAHAHAHH, I AM THE DEVICE, TICK,TICK,TICK, NOTHING YOU CAN DO WILL STOP THE SWITCH, TICK TICK TICK, NOT EVEN TIMSTONES GEARBOX SHALL WORK AGAINST ME... HAHAHAHAH TICK, TICK, TICK Mac, hearing the voice runs over to the auto pie dispenser by the dance floor, plugs in some minerals, grabs his pies, turns and yells charge and jumps into the frey swishing pies fore and after, port and starboard, and screaming something about doomsday is coming so enjoy while you cann...... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
ROFLOL! That was great man. Truely great. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif I couldn't have done better myself. But I officially declair you the winner of our little skirmish. You out witted me this time. But next time it shall be a closer battle.
*After Rags fervent beating and his incounter with the FBWs he stands up and uncomfortably walks outside the Cantina still in his Spandex outfit. He strips it off and puts on normal clothes and Boards his ship. He flies off and through the exterior intercom he declairs: "Until next we meet RD, until next we meet!" |
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*Timstone escorts his precious latex clad gf to his ship (skillfully avoiding the debris of Nausea One) and returns to the cantina.* *When a poor customer comes close enough Timstone reaches out and grabs his soul and puts it in a jar he got from RD.* *After Timstone did this a few times he gives the jar full of souls back to RD, smiles and receives a full bLast of custard pie and some other stuff. Anyway it smells horrible. Now a bit mad, Timstone leaves The Cantina for what it is and returns to his ship for a thorough shower and the night of passion.* WEEEE.... it's weekend again!!! Quote:
I really should learn how to type without errors. [ January 04, 2003, 18:22: Message edited by: Timstone ] |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Demons don't have souls, dammit thats news to me
*Walks away happily stroking the jar full of souls, heading towards the Parking lot* Yes ragnarok, i guess i win the skirmish, until we meet again my friend Since the cantina is coming to it's end i suggest drinks on my tab all round http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
*Raging Deadstar is very close to losing the ability to reproduce after being stuck in a time loop for 15 hours getting hit where it hurts. As the temporal gearbox loops yet again raging deadstar smiles extremely evily. For even though he has been stuck in the time loop he has remembered everytime and is looking for vengeance. Ragnarok attacks with his twin pie launchers, RD counterattacks with the hosepipe and ragnarok prepares to use his tiger claws technique
As ragnarok offers a truce raging deadstar puts his plan into action. He quickly grabs a bottle of booze off the bar and "accidently" spills it on ragnaroks clothes. Rags looks bewildered and doesn't see RD pouring the rest of the bottle on his baguette and lighting it. In seconds ragnarok is turned into a fire ball. The sprinkler system kicks in extinguishing a now very crispy ragnarok. The FBW's quickly hurry over to him, pick him up and drag him up stairs carrying a hand blender, some wax and tape, some jump start leads and some 70's clothes. After much screaming ragnarok returns in spandex pants, a romantic 70's frilly shirt and no hair on his arms, legs or his eyebrows! Also the smell of burning hair can be smelt from rags nether regions after the Fluffy Bunny waitresses tried to jumpstart his love life, literally* Lol, tou'che ragnarok [ January 04, 2003, 12:21: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ] |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Cartoon Physics Laws which also apply inside the Cantina
1. Any body suspended in space will remain in space until made aware of its situation. 2. Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter. 3. The time required for an object to fall twenty stories is greater than or equal to the time it takes for whoever knocked it off the ledge to spiral down twenty flights to attempt to capture it unbroken. 4. As speed increases, objects can be in several places at once (especially in a fight, or if the object is spinning.) 5. Certain bodies can pass through solid walls painted to resemble tunnel entrances; others cannot. 6. Everything falls faster than an anvil. 7. A sharp object will always propel a character upward. 8. Explosive weapons cannot cause fatal injuries; they just merely turn people temporarily black and smokey. |
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Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
*Raging Deadstar lands squarely on his posterior and gets up, happily holding a camera with photographic evidence of Timstones prowess in bed*
I'm not gonna look at it, but if anyones willing to buy if for comedic purposes i'm open for offers *waves film around in the air to catch attention* http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Typical, I am away for a mere 2 months and the cantina goes and gets all smutty and filthy!
I am not sure that I really want to know how inadequate Timstone or Raging Deadstar or anyone else is in bed, after all, one of the cantina patrons is the Boston Sex Fiend, El Gryppho of the turbo charged happy sacks and we know that no one and I mean no one can compete with him!!! Hello everybody, I am back from my sojourn in the desert but unfortunately cannot log on as Growltigga as (a) I do not know my old password and (b) have changed email addresses.. DOHHH Can someone paraphrase what has been going on in the Last 2 months for me? |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Welcome back Gt! If you really are Gt that is. You will of course be required to submit to a thourough DNA test to verify you identity. We will also need you to submit to a snif test by Barry. I don't think we need to tell you the penalty for failing a snif test. Suffice it to say it involves a short trip through the dino digestive tract. So if you are an imposter it's best for you to fess up now.
Geo |
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The laws of cartoons and the cantina. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif Maybe now I can understand what the h... is going on in the cantina. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...s/rolleyes.gif |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Hey, Is the REAL GT back???
Let's try some Tigga baiting and find out. Where is Gryphin when you need him? ------------------------------------------------------------------- P.S. to the real GT, David Gervais is doing the cool new avatars. [ January 06, 2003, 18:00: Message edited by: Wardad ] |
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Cheers! |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
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Cheers! |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Well if your really the real GT you'll know what word comes before Mrs GT's name!
Well whats happened, all the newcomers to the cantina got interested in the gryphin position which was a disaster for the fbw's as they had tons of drunk patrons slobbering all over them *HINT* Kamog *HINT* Then tesco, mac and gryphin invaded the place with llamas, activated "the device" which ominously ticks all the time, and no-one knows when it will detonate! Then the cantina decended into a foodfight, pukes battlemoon imploded in on the cantina, the loo worshipping pygmies returned and well kamog, ruler of the pink winged potato pixies, defined the rules for cartoon violence in the cantina. *In the name of good taste (what good taste! in this cantina?? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif ) Raging Deadstar disposes of the camera, by putting it on board his ship to be used for future bribery* |
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