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Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
David Gervais... wtf?
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Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Poor GT! Poor Rags!
dogscoff, If I was you I would start running. Really, really fast. Not bothering to look back for quite awhile! Rags; I need an update. I would ask GT, but he seems to be spread a bit thin, at the moment! mlmbd http://www.shrapnelgames.com//ubb/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
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Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
David Gervais, you are as unhinged as the Bolivian navy on maneuvres in the South pacific, Rags, stop whining and be a man, you are obviously one of the world's natural victims...
Now can you two do the decent thing and help me find my internal organs and more importantly, my testicles PS David Gervais, the reason my signature is "ook ook ook ook" is that I went to Sabah in Borneo in August/September Last year and went to the rehabilitation centre for orang-utangs at Sepilok. They said "ook ook ook" quite a lot and I thought it was one of the most sensible things I had heard for ages... especially after being in Japan for the World Cup and I didn't hear too much sensible then (other than yelling "Enggguuulllaaaannnddd Engggaaaluuundnnndd" at the top of my voice and scremaing "1 nil to the Enguuulllaaannnnddd" at any Argentinians who were nearby [ January 10, 2003, 16:42: Message edited by: growltigger ] |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Rags, an update about what all happened outside "The Cantina". I never listen to rumors.
GT, Your Lordship, Sir; I found your testies, heart, both lungs and your heart. That should be enough to reconstruct your fomer self! The Bolivian Navy, do you think they would employ him? mlmbd http://www.shrapnelgames.com//ubb/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Mlmbd, many thanks indeed for the return of my most tender parts, have any drink free on the house...
In the name of good taste, image on screen changes briefly to a nice relaxing picture of a vase of tulips why Growltigga reconstructs himself... Back to the cantina, mlmbd, I have no idea if the Bolivian navy would employ him but the point stands that David Gervais is obviously as stable as a balloon in a hurricane..... Now, as the, ahem, crown jewels are back in their rightful place, and as I am armoured to the hilt and clutching my fully loaded red hot poker hand cannon, where is that wretched poo eating Dogscoff????? Actually, I need target practice first, where is Rags when you need him? |
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While GT is walking (well attempting to walk, his southern region is still in pain I'm sure) towards the fake Rags, the real Rags sneaks out the door and steps behind a acme...shoot can't think of what they are called, those things you push down and and make things go boom... Rags presses down on it and just as GT gets to the fake Rags it explodes. Rags is laughing his butt off in there as he saw GT blow up for the second time in less then 24 hours. After which he realizes that GT has formed back to himself rather quickly this time. Rags gets a look of horror on his face as GT is walking towards the real him in a terminator fashion. "GT, it was all fun and games man. Like a friendly pat on the back ya know?" Rags is beginning to cry now as he knows he is about to recieve a major butt whooping from the great GT. But then Rags pulls out his portable testicle regeneration device and shows it to GT. "Look at this Tigga, it regenerates your testicles to the point like they were brand spanking new. Just push this button and presto, you'll be back to the way you were before Dogscoff blew you up." Tigga thinks on it for a minute then he decides what the heck. So he presses on the button and sure enough. He is back to new. He thanks Rags and he walks away in search of Dogscoff to get his revenge. |
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Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
LOL Rags....this place Kills me http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif
put the knife down! |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Gt, fyi, I have a most excellent and beautiful brain. In fact it was a 'special' order from mensa. (it is the deluxe model with an IQ of 186 Cat#11010011 they called it the dotdashdashdot model, or was that the dashdotdotdash model?) My only problem, is when I got the order, the goofs at mensa forgot to include the instruction manual. Actually,..(I strain my brain to it's limit..) I think they omitted the manual for their own protection!
I'm not worried, it's not the first time I use something without reading the manual! And thanks to you good people here in the forums, I'm finding a multitude of new uses for my brain! Thanks, and Cheers! |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
I'll have to upgrade my brain to one of those Mensa ones. My current brain only has 2K of memory and runs at 12.288 MHz.
[ January 11, 2003, 02:40: Message edited by: Kamog ] |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
You need some serious hardware upgrades! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif
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Cheers! |
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Quikngruvn |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Vaporware, Eh! I guess that means that your brain is not 'limited' to the physical limitations of real world science. hmmm, and that means that your brain can go where no brain has gone before! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif
Btw, the Last time I held my brain in my hands it felt 'soft' and mushy! That's why I chose to call brains 'Software' after all, 'mushyware' just didn't sound right! ..this is goo,.. this is your brain on goo,.. can you tell the difference? Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif |
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Cheers! P.S. it's that extra .288 that keeps you in the game! [ January 12, 2003, 11:04: Message edited by: David Gervais ] |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Hahaha... LOL!!!
I'm glad I was manufactured in a Steelplant in Germany by the name of Krupp. No problems with mechanical systems. All I have to do is some lubrication from time to time (hint, hint...). |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Oooooooh Yeah! I just went on an pixel plotting frenzy and flooded my Avatar thread again with a bunch of new pics!
Drinks are on me people! (and an extra bottle of STP for Timstone!) Cheers! |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Wow, thanks! What is STP actually?
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Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
STP is/was an oil made by Penzoil if i remember correctly. The commercial said STP oil treatment. Will help keep you lubricated.
[ January 12, 2003, 19:41: Message edited by: desdinova ] |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
I was gonna say Valvoleen, but thought you mught mistake that for Vaseline! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif If you like an easy to use lubricant how about WD40 it cleans and lubricates and comes in a nice spray can with a long thin nozzel to get into the hard to reach places!
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Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Growltigga is slightly unnerved at the sensation he is getting from his troUsers after using Rags' testicular regeneration device!! he sidles off to the office and takes a peek... oh my god, Rag's device was obviously set on maximum or something as GT's testicles are now the size of bowling balls and making it hard to walk....
what will our ferocious furry feline hero do now? where is Rags when you need him... HEEELLLLPPPPPPPP |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
1. Don't sit down.
2. Don't ride any bikes. 3. Don't scare away the FBW's. 4. Try taking an extra cold shower, or bathe in an icy river. 5. Go somewhere where it's snowing and stand in the cold for an hour. 6. Find Rags' device, adjust the dial to a lower setting and push the button. |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
"Cheers Kamog" says Growltigga, currently sitting in a large bath of imported glacier water which is being kept at sub-zero temperatures by the FBW's..... "the problem I am encountering now is that my plums appear to be growing, in fact my happy sacks are getting unfeasibly large and trying to sit down is like riding a space hopper" - the FBWs and even the Kylie clone have vetoed me going anywhere near them as any application of my lovepump is liable to cause a structural breach to the cantina... ooh aah me plums are really stinging...."
Where is that dratted Rags and his testicle enlargement device when you need them???? HELLPPPPPPPPP as the bath water proceeds to steam...... |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Desperate to make amends before GT is back on form, Dogscoff tries ot think of a suitable tribute. Trouble is, what do you get the Kat who has everything? He already has all the FBWs and female celebrity clones he could ask for, he has his own brewery so booze won't go down too well, I'll have to appeal to his megalomaniacal side. He already has at least one army, so I can only think of one thing to out-do that.
By means of some prudent bribery, extortion and assasination, I've managed to get you something really special 'Tig: I've manged to secure for you a guaranteed winning ticket for this week's Big Red Button Lottery Draw. Use it wisely, and enjoy. *Knowing how 'Tigga's mind works, Dogscoff decides to stay away from any potential Big Red Button targets for a while... |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Ahem, the idea is NOT to pop them, just release some of the pressure!.. and when done right you will hear a prolonged hisssssssing noise, not a loud pop! I sure hope you don't suffer the agony of the pop the whole pop and nothing but the pop!
Cheers! |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
*dogscoff really doesn't want to see this. He downs 2 bottles of ouzo and immediately passes out under a table, thus rendered blissfully unaware of the impending groinal catastrophe.
With a bit of luck I'll wake up just too late to help with the clearing up. |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
The cantina goes quiet, an ethereal drumroll resounds around the cantina and a variety of faces peer over hastily dislodged tables at the sight of the mighty kat holding a knitting needle in the direction of his oversized happy sacks...
The needle is applied, a vibrant hissing, as if from a very large anaconda, can be heard and the susurration of quite of lot of breaths, held in by the frightened patrons, being let out can be heard.... Oh my god, goes Growltigga, I am losing them, and with a bLast of actinic fire.. the unfeasibly stretched testicles explode, the cantina roof is rocketed up into the sky and all that can be heard is a feline voice, crying in the distance..... OOOH MY PLUMS |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
*Dogscoff wakes up, abruptly. He grabs hold of his head as the hangover kicks in, then immediately grabs his nose instead.
What's that smell? Kind of like cat fur, but also like unwashed underpants and fish... [ January 13, 2003, 16:38: Message edited by: dogscoff ] |
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and as for the fish, well cats are famous for liking fish so what do you expect? Ooh my poor aching exploded glands, my poor knackered knackers, my poor wobbely dangely ones |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Rags strolls in the Cantina and grabs his nose at the smell. He is wondering what the heck it is when Dogscoff, who obviously is hung over, tells him what happened. Or what he remember of it anyways.
Rags begins to feel really bad about not getting in here in time to get the device to him. But then Rags points out that the device was on the bar the whole time. But apparently no one saw it. Rags apoligizes to Tigga and he buys him whatever drink he wants. Rags gulps down his drink and stumbles out of the Cantina still feeling bad about what he caused to happen. |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Rags, many thanks indeed for the free drink, the bottle of 1954 Mouton Lafayette Formidable generously priced at 18,000 minerals goes along way to redress my hurts...
but look.. what it doesn't cover is that between Dogscoff and yourself, my tender parts have been whipped off, exploded, regenerated, inflated, double inflated, triple inflated and then exploded again and are currently hanging in pieces across 3 counties... I have a certain status as a feline casanova to maintain, and how can I do that if my peaches are non-existent and non-functioning? what I want to know is what you and Dogscoff are going to do to remedy this situation? I am going to look bloody silly mounted on Barry leading a chase if I have no gonads aren't I? the killer mongoose just wont follow a leader who is short in the lovepump department.... |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
18,000 minirals?!?! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif Well there goes my life for about 3 years. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...s/rolleyes.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif
Well I don't know how we can fix it. Only thing I can suggest is go back in time using Timstones gearbox and take your old gonads before they exploded 3 times (or more) and bring them back to the future (now) and have someoen sow them back on. (Perhaps that FBW over in the corner that is eyeing you and licking her lips. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif That is the only thing I can suggest for now. Maybe dogscoff has some ideas. I will let you know if I come up with something else. Edit: A couple spelling errors. [ January 13, 2003, 17:41: Message edited by: Ragnarok ] |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
..Gt, I said to use a 'pin' not a knitting needle! Mind you I can see where you might have had trouble griping something as small as a pin, but you could have had one of your FBW's tend to you!
Ah well, a painfull lession, but one you'll surely not forget. ..and I concur, you should investigate the time-travel solution proposed by Rags. Some might say that by going back in time you're altering history, but in this case, I believe the effects will be limited to 'Your' history, so I vote you give it a try! Cheers! |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Gt, I think I have a temporary solution for you,.. What you have to do is get to a zero-g enviroment and a cool one at that. then you'll have to apply a patch of ductape to each of your 'royal expanders' and carefully puncture a tiny hole through the ductape and that should release much of the perverbial hot air Rag's device is generating in there. Remember, make the hole as tiny as possible, I suggest a #2 pin like the ones used by taylors when hemming a thin fragile material. Like I said this is only a temp solution and the major brawback is once the 'jewels' are down to a more managable size, you'll have to remove the ductape. I further suggest you get as drunk as possible before removing the tape. Here's a 40 ounce JD to help with that.
I must warn you about one danger,.. if you use too big a needle your 'jewels' could 'POP' like a baloon! I don't need to tell you how painfull that would be. Cheers! P.S. if the skin on your jewels has stretched to the point of being semi-transparent then it's too late to try this temporary solution. [ January 13, 2003, 12:22: Message edited by: David Gervais ] |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Cheers Dogscoff, I think your link is possibly incorrect or spurious...
I do love the "They do, Huck. I guess the principles of Liberty and Truth really aren't much good up against a 4000 BlatterWatt Phased Polaron Array" line, one of the finest of the Sci Fi literary genre I feel... OK, that cheered me up but my plums are now reaching gargantuan size and are in severe danger of taking over the cantina..... HEEELLLPPPP PLEAASSSEEE, I know need two baths to cool down my incorrigable hyper-powered genitalia..... keep that ice cold pump running please...... OK, following David Gervais' advice, I am now preparing to pop my plums..... AWOOGA AWOOGA all cantina patrons take cover, all cantina patrons take cover....AWOOGA AWOOGA [ January 13, 2003, 12:33: Message edited by: growltigger ] |
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..and now I stop typing to preserve any sanity I have left! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif Cheers! |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
You forgot the coolers, for when they are in heavy use.
[ January 14, 2003, 15:14: Message edited by: Timstone ] |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
..I walk into the Cantina to celebrate my recent promotion. I think my new ID photo turned out ok!
Cheers everybody, the drinks are on me! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Happy promotion David Gervais, Growltigga purs all in the cantina a nice glass each of Chateau Lafite Rothschild Mousardin. RIght MR Gervais, that will be 37000 minerals...
Thanks Dogscoff, but I think these nadgers I have are going to do me proud, especially as it says tank capacity 4 litres on the side of them..... and the chrome plating on the outside of my happy sacks is really useful, especially when I am trying to pluck nasal hairs or defluff my navel... |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
GT: Are your "happy sacks" in proportion with the other part of your love installation? I think it looks very strange if the other part is tiny in comparison with your newly aquired stainless steel chrome-plated bowlingballs.
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Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Gt, 37,000 Minerals! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif just kidding, I spent more than that on kleenex during my Last cold. I'm not short on minerals, I have 3 Huge Rock planets in my home system and two adjoining 'asteroid-belt' type systems next door! I got more minerals than I care to count!
btw do you have any idea of the value of that collection of 100 year old Scotch you acquired from me when you left my bunker? It may be "Spoils of war, but there was nothing spoiled about that collection!" Cheers! |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
..ok, who shut off the power switch that caused the forums to be down for about 9-10hrs? I was gonna upload a few more new avatars and couldn't! When I woke up this morning and shrapnel was still off-line, I began to feel the tiny pings of withdrawl symptoms (shaking hands, frequent peeks to see if the forums were back up, trouble deciding where else to go on the net while waiting..) I'm so glad the forums are back up, I feel much better now!
Cheers! [ January 14, 2003, 12:01: Message edited by: David Gervais ] |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
I feel much better too David Gervais, that sly minx of an FBW who was winking at me had a reserve pair of titanium encased and heavily shielded wobblers to sew back on to me..
so now I is hanging loose and full of juice and the happy owner of a chromed pair of testicles.... ho hum, all is well that ends well.... Now, I have a fully loaded red hot poker hand cannon and all I need is a Dogscoff shaped rear end to unload a full magazine of red hot pokers in to..... huzzah |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
'Tigga, never fear, I have an answer to your problem.
Recently developped in a lab in Belgium, i have managed to procure the prototype of the world's first pair of fully-featured prosthetic testicles. These highly advanced, computerised robo-nads are fully controllable and adjustable, and carry their own on-board, self-contained power supply (uranium not included). They fulfil all the functions of a normal pair of Sandras, but with a much higher fuel efficiency. They have a pager and vibrate function, they pick up FM radio and play mp3s, are fully waterproof and will work in a temperature range of -110 degrees C to more than 2000 degrees C. The only thing is, they are a little heavy (3kg with a full uranium pile) and will tend to clang loudly together when you walk, but considering all the added features built in I'd say that was a minor inconvenience. |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Yo GT! You need my timetraveling gearbox? I can arrange you a little trip back into time to help you get your nuts in a proper size. You know what, we'll take Rags with us, he can help us with the device he left on the bar to reduce your scrotum back to normal. After we've come back it's like nothing happened. The killer mogooses will follow you royal hiny once more. And you won't look silly when mounted on Barry's back anymore.
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Congratulations on your promotion, David! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif [ January 15, 2003, 05:57: Message edited by: Kamog ] |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
David Gervais, I am not sure what you are referring to when you accuse me of purloining your aged scotch collection... you wont find any full bottles of mature scotch in the cantina.. ok, hic, you may find some empty bottles..... all our scotch is matured for at least 7 seconds...
Timstone, you will have to ask the FBWs or the current Mrs GT about the length of my rod.. to quote Brian Blessed in Blackadder I, "only the Queen and a thousand turkish whores know that".... I suspect the forums were down after I connected my new turbo powered gonads to the cantina's electricity supply in order to charge them up... sorry guys, I forgot we were on a 3 amp fuse |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
GT, just got a check. Thought you might like this; "Glenfiddich Ancient Reserve". Consider it a "Welcome home pribe, er.....I mean, ah... a "Welcome home present"! Enjoy, Your Lordship!
<font color=purple>mlmbd http://www.shrapnelgames.com//ubb/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif </font> |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Cheers, Glenfiddich ancient reserve will go down (and probably come up) very nicely thanks
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