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Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
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Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
I would expect the process involved is probably the one you mentioned involving direct stimulation by electrical or other means of the subjects sensitive areas. This would facilitate the device being used as a means of "behavior modification" with a slight adjustment to the power setting or polarity. This would be more in line Gt's known predilliction towards physical punishments of an, ahem, "creative" nature. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif
[ August 05, 2003, 14:49: Message edited by: geoschmo ] |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
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The idea of Mac having it away with Rags also appeals from a very warped sense of perspective. |
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Use your imagination. Imagine what YOU would like to get out of a machine like that and tinker with it. Look, you Brazilians are renowned for being hot blooded amorous love machines, rig it up accordingly |
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Right Geo, you have been nominated as the victim, I mean, willing participant in the infamous "Lucky Pierre", a maneuvre so heinous it is Banned by most galactic states, and quite a lot of the more straight laced religions too.. All I need is some cowbells, a Jean-Paul Gaultier clone, a clone of that leather man from Village People (the moustache is very necessary for this), a taser, a small labrador called "Purdey", an industrial sized vibrator - diesel powered with a kickstart, a tub of marmite, some ball bearings and a set of 3/4 inch wing nuts, oh, and a large wooden barrel, a rasping file and some bandages and iodene for afters! oh, and to keep Walmart Fiji happy, free beers for all (Taz, put them on Mac's tab) [ August 05, 2003, 16:43: Message edited by: Growltigger ] |
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Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
I am sure I wont be disappointed Erax, can you give it a samba feel as well? and maybe install a pina colada dispenser? together with an inflatable Ronaldo lookalike we can punch whilst in the throws of ecstasy?? and maybe a video on permanent re-run of the 1998 World Cup Final? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif
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Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Sure, in FIVE days I'll have all of that installed. I'll give it twenty-FIVE power settings and thirty-FIVE optionals, including the ones you asked for.
Wonderful number, FIVE. If I say it again, it will be FIVE times I've said it. Edit : Boss, you are evil. Just thinking about the 1998 final is enough to make most adult Brazilians break down and cry. But I went and had a few drinks and I feel much better now. So... the stuff you asked for is all optionals, no problem there. But there is just soooo much more it can be made to do. This is going to be so good, it will almost make you forget about football. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif [ August 05, 2003, 22:53: Message edited by: Erax ] |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
"Pit it on the Gryphin's Tab"
:: Looks at Mac, Looks at "thing" :: Looks at Mac :: Looks at Taz :: Taz - Mix up the following ingrediants for the um "thing" and include this :: hands Tsz a small bit of something :: Any cost over that of a brewski goes back on Macs tab, :: Little do then know the concotion makes who ever drinks it passionate about the who evers DNA was on the something I gave Taz. Little do they know it was Macs. |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Old Mac looks up from his research once again towards the direction of the big hooters in the cornor, he notices Taz taking over a drink, he smiles... (Mac also noticed that Gryphin had slipped Taz something for the drink) hmm, whats Gyrphin up to, oh well, Taz's paws are the Last thing to touch the container and since Taz is hairy it would wipe everything off except Taz's scent.... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif so if the slick Gryphin tried to slip in a Mickey, it'll fall on poor Taz,,, hmmm,, Mac grabs his cell phone and calls his eye doctor, makes an appointment to upgrade his glasses all the better to see those whoppers over in the cornor... aahh, that GT always adding something new to the place http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif
just some ideas mac |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Feeling sorry for what is in Mac's immediate future, Taz mixes the drinks for Mac and 'the thing' EXTRA-strong. He also adds a few dozen 'little blue pills' to Mac's drink. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif
Taz would like to 'help' Mac out further; but there is suddenly a mass rush at the bar from GT's almost unprecedented offer of free beer... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif Taz also turns on the Cantina's closed-circuit video camera system and prepares to broadcast Mac's, ahem, upcoming event live. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Erax vanishes into the unknown spaces in the back of the Cantina to begin his work. In typical cartoon fashion, weird construction noises come forth for a while, then all is silent.
A few moments later, the double doors in the back fly open and dozens of construction robots(in a variety of shapes and sizes) roll, walk and fly out. They partition off the space around the door to the old orgasmatron with rigid synthepLast sheets, then vanish behind it. More weird construction noises ensue. Erax comes out and sticks a label on the partition : ROBOTS AT WORK. AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY. OPENING IN [5] DAYS. |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Oh boy what have i got poor mac into?
*In typical cartoon style a little RD with a halo and wings dressed in white appears on his left shoulder* "Yes you must help the poor veteran, he doesn't deserve this" *Suddenly another little RD appears in a black robe and holds a scythe* "Don't listen to him, in fact, lets fire a tranquiliser dart full of hormones into her rather large behind and make rags feltz really desperate for Mac!" *RD Looks from side to side before pulling out a tranquiliser dart gun and fires said dart straight into Rags rather inflated behind. Not feeling a thing Rags begins to feel a strange sensation fall over him/her. Lust for that wisen old man in the corner.* Ok thats my evil quota for today filled up http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Erax emerges from the construction site, terribly tired...
He wanders over to the bar, downs a Guinness or two, then heads towards the back of the Cantina. As he passes by the partition he sticks a square label with a '4' on it to his sign. It now reads OPENING IN [4] DAYS. |
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If those robots are doing all the work, then WHY is Erax so tired? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...s/confused.gif You don't think... That maybe he's testing that orgaz-thingy... On HIMSELF??? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
As Mac oogles the rather large bebops across the room, sweat begins to pour down his exterior, he begins to turn different shades of color, his pace maker STOPS...., ugh, The sexy old one, falls over, Someone calls 911, an EMS squad pulls up and takes poor Mac off to the local house of pain....
Camera far left Mac is laying in a hospital bed surrounded by lucious, lavacious, sexy Studen Nurses who are just oooooing and aaaing over the sexy old gentelman laying so cerenely in the bed. He opens his eyes and he smiles, He asks for a sponge bath http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif )).... The doctor arrives and tells him, False alarm there kindly oldster, your pressure went up to high due to a huge adrenilan flow of excitment.... You just lay here for a few days and let these angels of mercy take care of you and get you up and around again.. You must learn to adjust your excitment ya know, your not a spring chicken anymore http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif The doctor leaves, mac looks down at his torso, and the surrounding lovlies, hmm I don't know what the doctor means, I appear to be up and about already, he mumbles to himself http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif ... as he lays back and lets his essance enjoy the feeling of the sponge bath the young fillies are givint him http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif just some ideas Mac |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Taz, I would be worried if old Erax was using the orgasmotron himself - I dont hold with auto-eroticism when there are perfectly good vanessa feltz/rags clones to use.
Era, can you instal an auto wipe facility in the orgasmatoron please, especially for our BRazilian customers who may get a bit wet when watching the 1998 World Cup final. Someone get Mac back from hospital, he and Vanessa/Rags have a hot date in the orgasmatron! |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Taz, supervising construction robots can tire you out real fast, they're not too bright and tend to understand everything literally.
Yesterday and today we're doing the heavy construction work, making space for everything that's going to be installed. We're nowhere near ready for testing yet, and I won't be able to do it on myself because I have to take readings and such during those tests. Which means, of course, I'll need someone to test the thing on. Any volunteers ? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Erax, Mac and Vanessa Feltz/Rags have duly volunteered and we are getting Mac back from hospital, as well as pumping the Feltz/Rags clone full of lurrrrv hrmones.
Do you know, this could be the first case of cantina patrons getting it on together. Mac and Rags, how sweet http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
OK Boss, Mac and Rags it is, tests are scheduled for Sunday.
I will be running a different kind of test on Saturday which will involve all the patrons who stop by. To them, it will just look like a typical Cantina party. |
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Woundwort walks into the cantina. He stops and stares at the partition, and shudders slightly.
"Boss, the Starfury cantina is nearly completed. I expect the work to be wrapped up by Saturday morning at the latest. Anytime you want to stop in for an inspection, feel free." |
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* minipol is finally back from a well enjoyed vaction in scotland. but now he wants real beer so he orders a nice kwak. yummy! glad to be back *
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Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Minipol, how ws your trip to bonny Scotland? and I guess you are never going back as you dont appreciate McEwans and Caledonian brew!
Me thinks that on behalf of the Scottish Brewing Industry, you shoud have a bash in our new orgasmatron, when Erax has finished tinkering with it. It will be grand, you get to watch the 1998 World Cup Final, whilst listening to samba music, being doused in Bacaradi whilst being gently pleasured in some unfathomable manner. Oh, if you would prefer, we can do a Belgian Version which means you get to watch German TV, listen to that Wally Henk or whatever his name was, get doused in Duval and Fou Fon, and are slapped around the face with a nieuw haring |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Observant patrons (if there are such) will have noticed the sounds behind the partition have changed over the day. At first there was a lot of sawing and banging going on, but now it's mostly drilling and zapping sounds. The latter are often accompanied by the glaring purple flash of an antiproton arc welder.
Erax comes out, looking a little less tired than yesterday. The sign now reads OPENING IN [3] DAYS. The beer mugs today are projecting a brief holographic note for the patrons : HELP FILL THE ORGASMATRON DATABASE. COME TO THE PARTY TOMORROW. FREE ADMITTANCE. OUR RESIDENT CLONES WILL PUT ON A SHOW FOR YOUR BENEFIT. |
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*Raging Deadstar quickly disguises himself as a seedy taxi driver and flys off in a banged up taxi he found from the bar down the street. Pulling up at the hospital he jumps out and opens the rear door. Pushing a button he activates the taxis hologram projector and it turns into a limo. RD quickly puts on a suit and gets out, flanked by 2 liz hurley clones *evil grin*. Going to Macs room he asks the two clones to persuade Mac to come back to the cantina. Within 10 minutes he's dressed and discharges himself. Soon they are outside when the two clones grab Mac and throw him through the "Limo" door and climb in to restrain him, with the "filthy old man" trying to get in to gratifying positions with them. RD climbs in the front, deactivates the hologram projector and heads back to the cantina* Mission Accomplished Sir! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
OK, it's Saturday, time to fill out the 'tron library. RD, Mac, please wear these 'Phong's Head Cantina' caps for the day. See, I have mine on already.
No one else here ? We can get started, then. The Cantina's back doors open and the FBWs, clones and former space marines come out, dressed in a variety of costumes (neeedless to say, they are all skimpy). They clear away a space in the center of the Cantina, which rises to become a stage. The lights go dim. Throughout the day, the Cantina clones will alternately be singing and dancing on the stage and serving drinks to the patrons. All of the patron's, um, thoughts, will be picked up by the psych transmitters in the Cantina caps they wear and transmitted to the 'tron computer, where they will be classified and stored in the database. So enjoy yourselves folks. If there's anything you'd like to see, speak up and we'll arrange it. |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Mac grins as the LH clones try and restrain his poor worn torso http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif upon reaching the cantina, as he is being escorted inside, someone puts a strange looking hat on his head..hmmm, I need a cold brewski he yells out... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif Mac is assisted into his favorite chair, several Liz Hurley clones stand next to him, as he opens his newest research papers on this new organimatic theory, he shall publish his findings upon completion of his thesis upon further research, in the mean time, the old buzzard downs a brewski and orders another as he continues to read his research paper....
just some ideas mac |
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As for Scotland, i will definitely return. Howevern they pay 66% taxes on their whiskey and so it's a lot cheaper to buy your whiskey in Belgium. |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
The sign now reads OPENING IN [1] DAYS. Yup, I was too tired to update it.
Since the Boss wasn't around, we'll postpone the test with Mac and Rags 'till he arrives. See you all in a few hours, I'm off for some rest ! |
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Erax, I am around if awfully busy so not logging on as often as I would like.
DO NOT POSTPONE THE TEST. CARRY ON AND GIVE IT SOME OF THAT LATIN SPIRIT (AND I DONT MEAN BACARDI) |
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OK Boss, right on it. "Guards... seize them !!"
The FBWs seize Mac and Rags/Vanessa and quickly carry them to the partition, which is pulled aside to reveal... a wall with steel double doors. One of the FBWs pushes a button which causes the doors to open with a 'whoosh' sound. The captives are unceremoniously tossed in and the doors close behind them. "Now let's see how they fare against our pet Rancor... ohohohohoho..." No, wait, wrong line. "And now... the test begins. Master will be pleased." Erax zips over to another room with the control panel, on which a screen displays the following : Settings Locale : Hotel room Decor : 1940s Balcony : yes Garden overlook : yes Waterfall : no Flamingos : no Music : yes Time : night Temperature : Tropical Humidity : Tropical Run function 0 at start ? : yes Function 1 : remote Function 2 : remote Function 3 : remote Function 4 : remote Function 5 : remote Library infeed : remote Log all activity : Heck yes With a satisfied expression, Erax presses the Start button... [ August 12, 2003, 12:26: Message edited by: Erax ] |
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Geee Erax, all that praise i give you for your story and you mistake me for rags, i'm insulted! *Shakes head* Terrible Terrible, if i had GT's red hot poker cannon you'd get some, i mean look at him *looks at vanessa/rags* Am i that easily mistaken for that. Hell i'm a celary stick compared to "It" In fact "It" could probably devour me as quickly as a stick of celary. *Raging Deadstar sits back down on his long couch and sips an apple juice and makes some plans.* Hmmm Erax, GT said he wanted "situations" for the orgasmatron so i have a dominatrix Jordan clone which would like to go in the orgasmatron with you, location : tallulahs torture dungeon! (Might not scare you, but i find Jordan revolting) Don't worry, i'll inform you when Mac and Rags have finished! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Sorry RD, I was in a hurry, couldn't keep the Boss waiting you know. The original post has been fixed already.
I have the test results right here, when the Boss has some time I'll tell him how it all went, but in general it was quite satisfactory. |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
In researching the orgasmatron in regards to its use within the prestigious of this facitlity. It was found that this is in reality a psycho-samatic condition in which the targeted subjects are falsly infected with projections of whatever the fiendish delights are of those who are practicing the dark art of its facilitations. The condition is temporary in nature and can be over come or by the use of a orgasmatron neutralizer which not only nullifies the condition upon its target, but in turns, sends the psycic conditions back upon those who orcastrated its use. Therefore, Since the wizen olderster Mac not only completed his research on this topic before being thrown into the room, he also had hidden upon his person the neutralizer which rendered himself and Rags to once again see reality as it should be. Upon coming to their senses, they ordered some brewskis, and some tribble wings, rewired the monitor pick ups within the confines of the room, and watched as those responsbile for this atrocitious display were in turn smited with the orgasmatron's psycic powers and since they don't have the proper neutralizer, are currently reliving the experiences that they had intended for poor old Mac and Rags http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif
just some ideas Mac |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Ah yes. But you see, this was a test run, so we intended to start the program without any psychic input at all, that was going to be added in later, a function at a time (that's why I set them all to 'remote').
So as soon as I switched on Function 0 (which just rests and relaxes everyone in the 'tron) and felt the effect myself, I switched the thing off and went looking for the source of the problem. We found the neutralizer and disconnected it, but by then the two of you were long gone. So we went on to plan B - we did the test with a Liz Hurley clone and some random guy named George who was on standby (he answered an ad we put out). The test results, as I said, were satisfactory. Right now we are adding more ECCM and shielding the control room to prevent more of this 'neutralizer' nonsense in the future. |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Erax, can we instal a cricket bat so as to whack any silly bugger using a neutraliser right in the goolies?
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Um, sure. Consider it done Boss.
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Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Starfury Sector Cantina Now Open
Thought i'd advertise the new digs, please come on in and make yourself at home. We're also holding a poll on what uniform the Fbw's should wear! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Gentlemen and ladies! (I use the terms loosely, of course...)
Please raise a glass of your favorite beverage and join me in a toast... To Geoschmo and PBW... Welcome back... and for crying out loud, don't go away ever again!!! |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
A small shuttle lands in the parking lot. The hatch opens and out steps
TA DA Power Man !!! He looks around and greets Barry and heads into the Cantina. "Hi Everyone. Sorry I have not been in sooner. I have had a bit of trouble on the Home front and did not have the time to visit. " "I had a bit of a problem Finding this place. It had dropped to the third page !!!!" Looking around Power Man sees all of the skimpy outfits on the FBW. OH I Really like the little transparent pink ones with the twirling tassels. And is that an orgasmatron ?? I thought those were Banned in most parts of the Galaxy?? It's very Big too. I thought these were to be used by lonely Singles ?? Approaching the bar Power Man asks "Hi Taz, How about a large order of Tribble wings with Honey Mustard sauce with a large Al to with it?" |
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http://www.gamespy.com/avatars/av/AT/at334.gif http://www.gamespy.com/avatars/av/AT/at335.gif http://www.gamespy.com/avatars/av/AT/at336.gif http://www.gamespy.com/avatars/av/AT/at337.gif http://www.gamespy.com/avatars/av/AT/at338.gif |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
Primitive, OOHHHH, MMYYYY, indescribable outfits http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif Have to boost the old ticker, ahahhhhh, I like number 3 http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif
Always wanted to know what the outfits looked like, now we know http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif just some ideas mac |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
This place is kind of quiet lately... where did everybody go?
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Here. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif
[ September 20, 2003, 11:36: Message edited by: General Woundwort ] |
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Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
I'm here too.
* Minipol sits down and orders a "Barbar". Of course Mr. Tigga doesn't have the special glass that should be used when drinking this beer with a taste of honey. Luckily minipol has his own special Barbar glass with him (can you really leave the house without?) and poors it in. He, the joy of sweetness * |
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Primitive enters the cantina.
This place really needs cleaning up. Spiderwebs everywhere, there is even a nest of killer bee's hanging from the Phong's head over the fireplace. Primitive carefully loosens the nest with his rusty (yet pointy) spear, trying to carry it outside. -- Dang, lost it. Luckily for Primitive the bees goes straight for Minipol and his honey beer. Ah, the joy of sweetness http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
In the royal booth a tattered and little roughed up Viking crawls from under the table, followed by a Famke Jansen clone.
"uuhm, did I miss anything? Bartender!, open a keg of mead from my personal storage and fill everyones mug." [ September 21, 2003, 21:40: Message edited by: Rollo ] |
Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
* AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH minipol tries to shake off the bees but after a few beers running straight isn't easy * AAAA * OUCH * AAAARGGHH *
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