Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

Here's another puzzle, not really a riddle.

A man is sitting in a row boat in the middle of a lake holding a bowling ball. He drops the ball into the lake. What effect and to what degree does this have on the water level in the lake, if any. Assume for the purposes of this discussion that the bowling ball has a density such that it's weight is equal to four times it's volume of lake water.

Geoschmo

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Jeez, I can't even say it one time slow. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Um... I think the level of the water will drop. The bowling ball will displace its volume, but it was already displacing four times its volume while it was being held by the guy in the boat.

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

A blonde was speeding in a 35 mile per hour zone when a local police cruiser pulled her over and the officer walked up to the car. The Female police officer also happened to be a blonde and she asked for the blonde's driver's license. The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, "What does a driver's license look like?" Irritated, the blonde cop said, "You dummy, it's got your picture on it!" The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small rectangular mirror down at the bottom. She held it up to her face and said, "Aha! This must be my driver's license" and handed it to the blonde policewoman. The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, "You're free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all this hassle."

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow
older, it's important that we keep mentally alert. The saying; "If you don't
use it, you will lose it" also applies to the brain, so.......Below is a
very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence. So take the
following test presented here and determine if you are losing it or are
still "with it." The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you
have made your own....OK, relax, clear your mind and.... begin.

===========

1. What do you put in a toaster?







The answer is "bread." If you said "toast," then give up now and go do
something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, "bread," go to:

Question 2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?















Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk," please do not attempt the next
question. Your brain is obviously over stressed and may even overheat. It
may be that you need to content yourself with reading something more
appropriate such as "Children's World." If you said, "water" then proceed to
Question 3.

3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from
blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is
made from black bricks, what is a greenhouse made from?













Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks," what
are you still doing here reading these questions?? If you said "glass", then
on to Question 4.

4. Twenty years ago, a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany. If you
will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany
and East Germany. Anyway, during the flight, TWO of the engines fail. The
pilot, realizing that the Last remaining engine is also failing, decides on
a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he has
time and the plane crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between
East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors? East
Germany or West Germany or in "no man's land?"















Answer: You don't, of course, bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else, you
are a real dunce and you must NEVER try to rescue anyone from a plane
crash... Your efforts would not be appreciated. If you said, "Don't bury the
survivors" then proceed to the next question.

5. If the hour hand on a clock moves 1/60 of a degree every minute then how
many degrees will the hour hand move in one hour?















Answer: One degree. If you said "360 degrees" or anything other than "one
degree," you are to be congratulated on getting this far, but you are
obviously out of your league. Turn your pencil in and exit the room.
Everyone else proceed to the final question.

6. Without using a calculator -- You are driving a bus from London to
Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, six
people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Sweden, two people get off
and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In
Swansea, three people get off and five people get on. In Carmathen,
six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What
was the name of the bus driver?















Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember your own name? It was
YOU, dummy...the very first line says that you're driving the bus.

Now pass this along to all your "friends" and hope they do better than you
did.

[ August 04, 2003, 23:15: Message edited by: Wardad ]

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">While in the boat, the bowling ball gets full displacement for its weight due to the nature of boats. Once in the lake, the bowling ball gets full displacement on its volume only. So, you have -4+1 = -3 bowling ball volume displacements (lake goes down).

So, the water level drops a number of inches such that the number of inches dropped * the surface area of the lake (after taking into account irregulariteis in the shape) is equal to three times the volume of the bowling ball. In other words, it will drop, but scarcely noticeably.

Also, the lake level may temporarily rise somewhat due to the splash and ensuing ripples.

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

seems to me it wouldn't change, except for ripple's.

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

Yep, it would drop 3 volumes.

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">That was a long bus drive back and forth, wasn't it? Didn't people get off on the ferry?

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

Crypto? Isn't that just a cipher? Doesn't 'crypto' require that the substitution table change?

Impressive job there, man. And thanks for laying out exactly how you did it. That was especially cool.

[ August 04, 2003, 12:34: Message edited by: Loser ]

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

> >Know Your State's Motto
> >
> >Alabama: Hell Yes, We Have Electricity
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Arizona: But It's A Dry Heat
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Arkansas: Literacy Ain't Everything
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >California: By 30, Our Women Have More PLastic Than Your Honda
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedys Don't Own It Yet
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Florida: Home of the headless drivers
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Georgia: We Put The "Fun" In Fundamentalist Extremism
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, Leave Your Money)
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes ..... Well Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S"
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Louisiana: We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Maine: We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Maryland: If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets)
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Michigan: First Line Of Defense From The Canadians
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes... And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Mississippi: Come And Feel Better About Your Own State
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars Hard At Work
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Montana: Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-wing crazies, and Very Little Else
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Nevada: Hookers and Poker!
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >New Hampshire: Go Away And Leave Us Alone
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >New Jersey: You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto right here!
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent pets
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To an Attorney ....
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >North Carolina: Tobacco Is A Vegetable
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >North Dakota: We Really Are One Of The 50 States!
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Ohio: Home of Lake Erie and the Mistake By The Lake (Cleveland)
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Oklahoma: Like The Play, Only No Singing
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Oregon: Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >South Carolina: Remember The Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Tennessee: The Edjucashun State
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Texas: Si' Hablo Ingles
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Vermont: Yep
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Washington: Help! We're Overrun By Nerds And Slackers!
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor?
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >West Virginia: One Big Happy Family... Really!
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Wisconsin: Come Cut The Cheese
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >Wyoming: Where Men Are Men .... and the sheep are scared!

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Sorry, this was lame. I am sure we could do so much better on this one.

Ohio: Convienently located close to several interesting states.

Ohio: You probably know someone who lived here once.

Ohio: We don't care what North Carolina says, WE invented the damn airplane.

Ohio: The "Silicon Valley" of the nineteenth century.

[ August 05, 2003, 18:25: Message edited by: geoschmo ]

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Likewise.

Colorado: Because No One Actually Skis in Utah

Colorado: Better Than Kansas, Really

Colorado: We Have Rocks, They're Better Than Yours

Colorado: Don't Ask About the Indians

Colorado: Like You Haven't

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

Geo : I lived in Ohio when I was 1.

Loser : My dad loved Colorado. But then, he was a geologist.

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

Erax: I love Colorado, that's why I'm still here. Some time I'll rant on what it means to live in an 'At Will' State and try to express some of the real reasons I should be somewhere else. But it's a great place. I was just trying out the self-depreciating humor that Geo laid out first.

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

'At Will' ? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...s/confused.gif
Sorry, my English is from the 80's. New, regional or local expressions are a bit confusing to me.

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

Hey now, I grew up in New Jersey and I have no problem with this:

> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >New Jersey: You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto right here!
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

This one is a little wrong. Moderator, feel free to edit or remove it if you so desire.

Colorado: AoC at Fifteen and so Many Military Bases: What Do You Think Happens?

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I agree, Wardad... that's just freakin terrific.
http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Sorry, this was lame. I am sure we could do so much better on this one...</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">OK GEO,
How about
> >Ohio: 2 days of Sunshine State http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I don't know. That might work for Washington. Ohio doesn't have a reputation for not getting any sun. On the contrary it can be pretty hot and brutal here in the with the humidity. The midwest weather does change quite often and quickly though. Along those lines you might say something like...

Ohio: Half the time it's sunny, half the time it's rainy, and half the time it's snowing.

Or

Ohio: Springtime in Ohio. It's the best week of the year!

[ August 06, 2003, 18:55: Message edited by: geoschmo ]

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

In D.C., a guy sees a sign in front of a house:

"Talking Dog for Sale."

He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog isin the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Sure do." the dog replies.

"So, what's your story?"

The dog looks up and says, "Well, I discovered my gift of talking pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running."

"The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals."

"Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

The owner says, "Ten dollars."

The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Cause he's a liar. He didn't do any of that crap." http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...s/rolleyes.gif

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

Different states
>
> You Live in California when...
>
> 1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
> 2. The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell
phone.
> 3. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
> 4. You know how to eat an artichoke.
> 5. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
> 6. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how
> long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
>
> You Live in New York City when...
> 1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
> 2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State
> Building.
> 3. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus
> Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
> 4. You think Central Park is "nature,"
> 5. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language
> makes you multi-lingual.
> 6. You've worn out a car horn.
> 7. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.
>
> You Live in Maine when...
> 1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
> 2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
> 3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
> 4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
> 5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and
> construction.
>
> You Live in the South when...
> 1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
> 2."ya'll" is singular and "all ya'll" is plural.
> 3. After five years you still hear, "You ain't from 'round here, are Ya?"
> 4. "He needed killin' " is a valid defense.
> 5. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue,
>
> Betty Jean, MARY BETH, etc.
>
> You live in Colorado when...
> 1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
> 2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he
> stops at the day care center.
> 3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
> 4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.
>
> You live in the Midwest when...
> 1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
> 2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
> 3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
> 4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
> 5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It
> was different!"
>
> You live in Florida when...
> 1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
> 2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
> 3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
> 4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
> 5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.
>
>
> You live in Arizona when . . .
> 1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
> 2. You can open and drive your car without touching the car door
> or the steering wheel.
> 3. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot
> water in the toilet bowl.
> 4. You would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.
> 5. You can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.
> 6. "Dress Code" is meaningless at high schools and universities.
> 7. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
> 8. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
> 9. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU
> KIDDING ME??!!
> 10. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in
> the face when you open your oven door.
>
>

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Sounds about right, but you missed...

Every time the economy booms everyone talks about all the 'high-tech' jobs coming to the area, "Silicon Mountain" and all that jazz, every time it falters in the slightest they are the first to go.

gosh darn At Will Employment

A tan is valued, but an even tan denotes inactivity.

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

...and after the fourth or fifth time, the itsy bitsy spider decided to wait for a clear day.

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

The Last one will make you choke!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can you guess which of the following are true or false?


1. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

2. Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a bellybutton.
3. A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth every 10 yrs.

4. People do not get sick from cold weather; it's from being indoors a lot more.

5. When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop even your heart!

6. Only seven ( 7 ) per cent of the population are lefties.

7. 40 people are sent to the hospital for dog bites every minute.

8. Babies are born without knee caps. They don't appear until they are 2-6 years old.

9. The average person over fifty will have spent 5 years waiting in lines.

10. The toothbrush was invented in 1498.

11. The average housefly lives for one month.

12. 40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.

13. A coat hanger is 44 inches long when straightened.

14... The average computer user blinks 7 times a minute.

15. Your feet are bigger in the afternoon than the rest of the day.

16. Most of us have eaten a spider in our sleep.

17. The REAL reason ostriches stick their head in the sand is to search for water.

18. The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning it's head are the rabbit and the parrot.

19. John Travolta turned down the starring roles in "An Officer and a Gentleman" and "Tootsie".

20. Michael Jackson owns the rights to the South Carolina State anthem.

21. In most television commercials advertising milk, a mixture of white paint and a little thinner is used in place of the milk.

22. Prince Charles and Prince William NEVER travel on the same airplane just in case there is a crash.

23. The first Harley Davidson motorcycle built in 1903 used a tomato can for a carburetor.

24. Most hospitals make money by selling the umbilical cords cut from women who give birth. They are reused in vein transplant surgery.

25. Humphrey Bogart was related to Princess Diana. They were 7th cousins.

26. If coloring weren't added to Coca-Cola, it would be green.


ALL OF THE ABOVE ARE TRUE (?)
(...and not suitable for name changing nonsense thread.) http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">hey, i can guess. anyone can guess.

1.T

2.F, unlikely. it would mean he wouldn't have had an umbilibable cord, and that's nessasary.
3.T? dunno
4.well, i'm indoors alot and i don't get sick much, but someone who's outdoors alot, shock, changed environment...T?
5.T. read it somewhere.
6.T? think i read it somewhere.
7.T?
8.F?
9.F. i don't spend 10% of my life waiting in lines.
10.T?
11.T.
12.F, 'injured by' requires that the toilet do something. since toilets don't do anything, the person using them does, it's impossible. 40,000 people might have injured themselves with a toilet, though, so T for that.
13.T? it's long, though.
14...F. i blink more than that...i think.
15. F. why? there probable bigger just before you go to sleep. did you know that your actually taller when you wake up?
16.T.
17.T?
18.well, it depend on what you mean by behind. i'd say, F.
19.T?
20.F.
21.T. come to think of it, it doesn't seem to pour quite like milk.
22.T. think i read it somewhere.
23.T? think i might have heard it somewhere.
24.F? ghualish enough to survive as an urban legend, possible enough to be true.
25.T?
26.T? think i heard it somewhere.

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Not possible. i ruled out number 12. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[ August 12, 2003, 00:35: Message edited by: narf poit chez BOOM ]

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Would that be why my eyeballs are so dry?

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Goulash? I like goulash! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

5. When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop even your heart!
False. I don't think bodily functions like digestion can be started and stopped instantaneously.

7. 40 people are sent to the hospital for dog bites every minute.
False. That sounds like too many. That's over 20 million people a year!

12. 40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.
False. That also sounds like too many. I don't think it's too easy to hurt yourself using a toilet!

15. Your feet are bigger in the afternoon than the rest of the day.
Maybe. Why would that be? Because they're flattened by your body weight?

16. Most of us have eaten a spider in our sleep.
True. I have had the unpleasant experience of waking up with bugs in my mouth.

18. The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning it's head are the rabbit and the parrot.
There are some people who seem to have eyes in the back of their head. You just walk by behind them and they know who you are without turning their head.

26. If coloring weren't added to Coca-Cola, it would be green.
False. I don't think there's any green ingredient in it.

[ August 12, 2003, 06:38: Message edited by: Kamog ]

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">bugs? i've only had that happen once. spider.

Utah: no, we don't clog naked.

[ August 12, 2003, 07:58: Message edited by: narf poit chez BOOM ]

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">This is partially true I believe. Just in a different sense. All bodily functions do not stop as Kamog said, but all organs do stop IIRC. Sneezing is the closest you'll come to dying in your life without actually dying.

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

Graffiti found on ancient Aztec temple:

"Teosinte is good for your teeth! Say no to genetically modified corn!"

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

BUTTERCUPS http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Toward the end of the golf course, Dave somehow manages to hit his ball into the woods, finding it in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ends up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch. All of a sudden, POOF! In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appears.
She says, "I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups? Just for that, you won't have any butter for your popcorn for the rest of your life; better still; you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life. As a matter of fact, you won't have any butter for anything for the rest of your life!" THEN, POOF.... she is gone.

After Dave gets hold of himself, he hollers for his friend, Fred. "Fred, where are you?"

Fred yells back, "I'm over here in the pussy willows."

Dave yells back, "DON'T SWING, FRED! For the love of God, DON'T SWING!"

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

While sitting at your desk, make clockwise circles with your right foot.

While doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.















What direction is your foot going now?

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Damnit! That's wierd. No matter how many times I try and how much I concentrate I can't keep my foot moving clockwise. The best I can do is sort of a screwed up figure 8 pattern. I am telling my foot what to do and it is doing something different. Freaky! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

1. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

True.

2. Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a bellybutton.

False. That's saying that he wasn't born with an umbilical cord.

3. A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth every 10 yrs.

True.

4. People do not get sick from cold weather; it's from being indoors a lot more.

True.

5. When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop even your heart!

False.

6. Only seven ( 7 ) per cent of the population are lefties.

I thought it was 1 in every 5 people in the US.

7. 40 people are sent to the hospital for dog bites every minute.

True.

8. Babies are born without knee caps. They don't appear until they are 2-6 years old.

False.

9. The average person over fifty will have spent 5 years waiting in lines.

True, but only in the western world. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

10. The toothbrush was invented in 1498.

False.

11. The average housefly lives for one month.

False.

12. 40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.

True.

13. A coat hanger is 44 inches long when straightened.

True.

14... The average computer user blinks 7 times a minute.

True.

15. Your feet are bigger in the afternoon than the rest of the day.

Probably true.

16. Most of us have eaten a spider in our sleep.

True.

17. The REAL reason ostriches stick their head in the sand is to search for water.

False.

18. The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning it's head are the rabbit and the parrot.

False. Lots of animals can see behind ifself without turning it's head, such as Owls and Eagles.

19. John Travolta turned down the starring roles in "An Officer and a Gentleman" and "Tootsie".

True.

20. Michael Jackson owns the rights to the South Carolina State anthem.

I'll say true.

21. In most television commercials advertising milk, a mixture of white paint and a little thinner is used in place of the milk.

Although lots of food shown on TV and Food magazines aren't food, there is no need to simulate milk. False.

22. Prince Charles and Prince William NEVER travel on the same airplane just in case there is a crash.

True.

23. The first Harley Davidson motorcycle built in 1903 used a tomato can for a carburetor.

False.

24. Most hospitals make money by selling the umbilical cords cut from women who give birth. They are reused in vein transplant surgery.

False. They'll probably sell them for their stem cells.

25. Humphrey Bogart was related to Princess Diana. They were 7th cousins.

False.

26. If coloring weren't added to Coca-Cola, it would be green.

False! The black colour of Coke is because of the syrup in it.

[ August 15, 2003, 17:35: Message edited by: TerranC ]

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

24. Most hospitals make money by selling the umbilical cords cut from women who give birth. They are reused in vein transplant surgery.

False. They'll probably sell them for their stem cells.

The placenta is also sold to cosmetic companies for make-up and moisturizer. Something they do not like to advertise.

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">The statement doesn't specify at what time in his life he didn't have a bellybutton; sometimes an injury (especially war injuries) will require skin to be removed from that area, which sometimes includes the belly button. It is possible that during and after his career as a director, he did not.

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

What's the difference between Mechanical and Civil Engineers?

Mechanical Engineers build weapons.
Civil Engineers build targets.

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">OK, at first I couldn't do it. I start making clockwise circles with my foot, and the moment I start drawing the number 6 with my hand, my foot starts circling in the other direction. I tried and tried, and after several minutes, I was able to do it, and now I can do it every time.

What you do is: first, just keep making clockwise circles with your right foot, and do this for about 20-30 seconds until you get used to it and no longer have to think about it. Then, quickly draw a 6 in the air with your right hand. Once you can draw the 6 quickly in the air, you can do it more slowly and still be OK.

Then, I thought of an even better idea. Instead of drawing the 6 normally, from the top down and making the small circle in the counterclockwise direction, draw the 6 in the opposite direction from usual. Make the small circle of the 6 first, in a clockwise direction, and then extend the curve up to complete the 6. Then it's easy to keep the foot circling in the clockwise direction.

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

i managed it. with intense concentration. how is everybody at the old 'rub your stomach and pat your head'?

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">It took me about four tries to keep my foot going clockwise. After that, piece of cake.

As for "the old 'rub your stomach and pat your head'", I do perfectly, but they tend to come out on the same beat.

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

its very interesting, if im rubbing my stomach with the left hand and patting the head with the right i can do it perfectly without concentration. the other way around is more difficult though.
Jack, foot going clockwise??

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

Taera:
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">It's an exercise on distinguishing nerves; it took me four tries to keep my foot going clockwise after trying it.

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

A verbal riddle. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif Say it out loud to solve it.

sofa king
we tod did



http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

[ August 17, 2003, 15:20: Message edited by: CEO TROLL ]

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

Here's a riddle for anyone. A box without hinges,key,or lid yet golden treasure inside is hid. One more.What has roots as nobody sees,is taller than trees up ,up it goes,and yet never grows? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Egg: Box is the shell, golden treasure is the yolk. <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Numbers - you have square roots, cube roots, nth roots, et cetera, and it goes up to infinity, but the numbers are there, defined by the system, not growing.

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Ok Bilbo (or was that Gollum?). http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

[ August 17, 2003, 21:15: Message edited by: Imperator Fyron ]

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Ok Bilbo (or was that Gollum?). http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">The first was Bilbo, the second Gollum
(link) ... and apparently the expected answer for the second was "mountain" - oops.

Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
 

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, "What is this, Father?"
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded,
"Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the Last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24 year old blonde woman stepped out. The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son -
...."Go get your mother."