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Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Primitive proposes: Ye lets get our act together and build it as fast as possible Cantina.
Look what poor Taz’s got in his sig: Experianced bartender, needs bar. Who can resist the wishes of such an adorable little furry creature http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Folks, why limit ourselves to a bar?
Let's build an entire Mall "Ye Olde Galatice Shopping Emporium and Cantinna" Think of the kinds of patrons we can draw. Both "player and non player characters". I wonder what adventures we will have in the isles of Walmart, Sears, Home Depot, Victorias Secrete? |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
I like gryphins idea, perhaps we could all own our own stalls and wreak havoc with our products! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif
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Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Raging Deadstar
Nice idea, Hmm, I wonder, do you think we should let mac have the Victoria Secrete franchise? BTW: Don't forget you'll be paying rent to holding account till the Great Kat returns, (and he will return). mac, it is your turn to start the thread. Variations on the name anyone? |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
I have posted a new poll for everyone to vote,
Gryphin, I'll take Victoria Secret if Lizzy H. can be my ahem assistant... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif just some ideas Mac |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
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Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Primitive has just visited “Plato's Pub”, recommended by Dogscoff as a (temporary) replacement for the Cantina. The drinks was OK, but the conversation was about as interesting as watching paint dry. Having seen pain dry many times before, Primitive returns to the wreckage of the cantina.
Primitive love the shopping mall idea. In memorandum of the late kat, he will open a both to sell leather thongs, body oil and such stuff. Ehh - or maybe not, may attract the wrong crowd. |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
..while passing through the post office and city hall, I noticed these posters on the wall..
http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newup...1048263855.jpg http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/newup...1048263871.jpg The only question I have is.. "Are these Wanted posters a job offer in disguise? or has Taz gone and done something to warrant this?" Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Well done, David. It's amazing what a Tazmanian Devil will do when he's out of work and bills need to be paid. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif
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Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Hey that doesn't look like the taz who works behind the bar! It must be his brother... WHy taz is shipping off his brother and redirecting the money to taz's account. Sneaky Sneaky http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif
As for the shopping mall idea if it happens i'm gonna be opening a cloning emporium. Anything you want done within the day, mac should be happy about this because he forgot to read the fine print that his liz hurley clone will cease to exist in a couple of months, better get some more "mileage" on her old boy before she goes kaput! And if Gryphin meant he was taking it in his post below i'll ship him a couple of shania twain and kylie clones with added endurance (should keep up the ol' boston sex fiend) and while he's busy open up my stall [ March 21, 2003, 18:44: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ] |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Ok, mac, you can have the Liz H clone
Which remainds me, who will have the cloning concession? Oh Wait, I'll take it. |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
mac places an order with RD for a new refurbished Liz H clone http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif , always can use a spare,.... besides, whats better then a Liz Hurley Clone?, 2 Liz Hurley Clones http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif ....
Nice Pictures David G. Taz or his brother or cousin, or look a like.. excellent Mac seeing that the poor Taz is currently out of job, withdraws 10,000 minerals from his secret hidden Swiss bank Account. He then hires a sexy, young Female Tazmainian Devel to deliver it to the poor Taz along with a keg of good old Coors. just some ideas mac ps. don't forget to vote in cantina thread post |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
...Hey, anybody know why peoples's shooting at Taz? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif
Posters? What posters??? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...s/confused.gif Oh, those posters. Look NOTHING like Taz. Really. Really, really! That some other guy!!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...s/rolleyes.gif Besides, I worth much more than a measly 1,000,000 minerals! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif David E. Gervais, you haven't been hanging around with that Bugs character have you? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif Mac, thanks for the 10,000 minerals and that cute she devil! She was just feeling good enough from the keg...! You are forgiven for rigging the vote!!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
So far it looks like the majority wants a new name, so if it holds up, we shall have to post another poll with new names to be voted on.
Also if the majority would like to have it in a Human/Alien Mall. Taz, glad you like the young companion http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif just some ideas mac |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Primitive once again returns to the desolate plain after a visit to Plato's Pub. He really misses the Cantina. His attempts at conversation among the philosophers had not gone well.
His "Hey, I see that paint is a little dryer now", had been met with answers like "Maybe, but did it dry by its own free will" and "Of course, It was determined". GT: I see you lurking. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
I have memory and awareness,
but I have no shape or form, as a disembodied spirit, I am dead but yet unborn, I have passed into the afterlife, as was told by tales of old, I am sitting in a lap-dancing bar, marble white and purest gold. I see the cantina patrons rage on high abuses hurled across the sky I cannot move, I cannot hide I feel a silent scream begin inside.... ARRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, I am currently on holiday with the current Mrs GT and in-laws in Paris, returning next week. The mall idea sounds fine, but let me make it clear that any lingerie or marital aid concession will be run by me. Any arcades will be run by the killer mongooses and Abdul and the berber horde will run all falafel concessions...... Then all at once the chaos ceased A stillness fell, a sudden peace The patrons heard my silent cry And stayed their struggles mystified Gryphin was astonished, Mac called me mad But they heard my story further and they wondered and were sad Gazing into the cantina onto a world of doubt and fear The cantina splintered into shattered hemispheres They sat a while in silence and they turned at Last to me. We shall call you Tigga, the god of chaos you shall be..... Listen guys, dont moan, it is either old Rush songs or my drunken rendition of the Marseilleise [ March 23, 2003, 12:32: Message edited by: growltigger ] |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Just an observation... This thread is larger then the B5 thread now. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif We passed it up about 50 or so Posts ago.
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Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
What's going on? We're all standing around in the crater which was once the Cantina... some of us are still alive, some of us are ghosts, and some of us aren't sure of our status. There's ashes and debris everywhere, a couple of 'Wanted' posters... where did all the FBW's go? We really need the new Cantina soon!
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Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Mac, looking at the desolation of where the infamous Cantina stood and all the members just standing around like they are all lost. hmm, Mac takes out his universal spatial phone, places a call, then waits. dum de da, dum de da,...
After a short time, a dented, well used, BC lands in what remains of the parking lot. The door opens in the side and a mixture of various creatures with crates unload. Hey You Old Geezer, where do you want these tents and tables, One being that looks like a head of lettuce yells at Mac. He replies Over that big Crater. The beings set to work, and in less then an hour, They have set up a huge Pole tent with various tables and chairs, and even a small protable Bar. Mac paints a sign and hangs it on the entrance poll... TEMPORARY CANTINA UNTIL DECISISON IS DECIDED ON underneathe, Tazmanian Bar Tender Wanted, 10,000 Minerals.... Mac walks over to a table, sits down, opens a brewski the Lettace creature game him, waves at the ship as it takes off, and sits back and waits..... (hmm, at least it'll keep us dry for now http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif just some ideas mac |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Hey, some lettuce-headded guy told me that I could buy some clones here.
Wha...? Why that lying bastard. Where did I put my Null-Space salad shooter? I'll show him... |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
...the air is still and calm over the bLasted area once known as 'The Cantina'. As the sun bakes down on this cratered scene, a wisp of movement appears on the distant horizon.
In moments this movement becomes greater as a whirling cloud of some kind moves quickly toward the viewer. A sound, like an out of control chainsaw, grows louder as the whirlwind sweeps ever closer. As the wind grows to hurricane proportions and the sound threatens to deafen all, an ominous figure resolves itself... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif The Taz has returned! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif ...Taz reads the help wanted notice... Hmmm, not sure what a 'protable' bar is, but I'll take the job Mac! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif That's 10,000 per day right? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
After being killed, resurrected, killed again, killed yet again as a ghost, re-incarnated as a foetus and now finally born again (literally), baby-dogscoff thinks he's entitled to a bit of a rest.
Yep, things aren't too bad. OK, I can't support my own head yet but I get baths, plenty of female attention and all the milk I can drink. Once I've matured a little though, I think I'll be opening a video store down at the new mall, stocking the world's most comprehensive selection of rubber-godzilla flicks and whacked-out chinese martial arts films with a selection of "speciality" titles in the basement. I might also be able to make things a little more interesting with a new interactive soligraphic dvd player I've been thinking about... [ March 24, 2003, 10:25: Message edited by: dogscoff ] |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
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Yes i'm the person to talk about that, what kind of clone are you after? just name it and it's yours, now we have to talk about the money Theres the Payment of the clone Then theres the allowance of me allowed to buy anything on your tab once the new cantinas open Then theres the insurance payment so you can't sue me if the clone hurts you in anyway Then theres the monthly fee Then theres the EBCP (End Big Crippling Payout) That should bring the price to.... 50000 minerals each + shipping costs, quite a bargain if you ask me, considering they are fully trained for anything, and as mac found out ANYTHING. Hell you can use them as bodyguards if you like! Or if you're lonely they tend to fill that aspect of your life too http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif What do you say Quarian Rex??? |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
..I thought that 'Toon-rules' were applied in this this thread. If that's the case,...
I look over the blackened waste that was once the Cantina,.. with my left hand I grab the scene firmly and lower it to my desktop. With blinding speed and a whirlwind of hand movement I quickly draw up a brand new scene,... Where there once was waste, there is now a lush green forest a colorful garden and a long expanse of sandy beach. In the middle of this splender is a shiny new building with an exterior terrace facing the beach. There is a long oak bar that serves both the exterior and interior of the building. Beside one of the windows in the building is a large man-made waterfall that cascades down into a pool filled with exotic fish. Above the building is a huge neon sign flashing 'The Cantina'. Next to the door is a small sign that simply says "OPEN: Drinks are free for paying customers!" I waste no time and claim a table next to the window with the waterfall... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
- Primitive returns to the crater left by the destruction of the Cantina.
On the Far side of the crater a large tent has been erected. Loud music and party sounds can be heard from inside. At the near side, someone has built a miniature cantina. It is very nice with waterfalls and all, but no larger than a computer desktop. Having drunk way to many beers in that boring Plato’s Pub, Primitive decides to add a little to the flow of the waterfall. Tiny screams can be heard when the stream overflows and floods through an open window in the miniature. Puzzled, Primitive goes over to the large tent. Maybe it's Primitive's kind of place http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Well, I would love to be enjoying The Tent Cantina (TTC) but I'm still chained up in my eternal damnation because some people seem to have forgotten about me. But soon enough I will sieze control of everything down here and have my revenge... Yes, soon enough....
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Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Star date 3/24/03
Captain Power Man's personal Log. I have finally been able to make time to visit the famed Phong's Head Cantina. My ship "Dread1" is in orbit doing a planet scan and ship engine maintenance cycle. I have gone on this mission to seek out a new place to hold the Ship Officers Poker Night Out party. I have had Spork beam me to the location of the Cantina. I see nothing but a vast crater next to a small parking lot. Taking out my Scannopter I check for any harmful energy. The background levels are high but not too bad. It looks like a lot of "Heck" has been raised here lately. I see a large tent has been put up on the other side of the crater. Maybe I will find some one there to tell me were a guy can get a good drink around here? On the way there I see a small model building. It looks rather nice with a beach and all. Maybe it is a model of a propose replacement cantina? I don't know about the yellow water in the falls though. I walk into the large tent and look around. I see several tables and what looks like a small portable potable bar set up by what looks like a lettice salad bar. I walk unto the bar and in my best "Captain's Voice" ask "How does one get a drink in this place?" |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
*Raging Deadstar walks into the tent of the cantina and smiles slyly as he goes over to each member of the tent and writes down the suggested order of each member. Walking over to a dejected taz who is polishing the pLastic wood design bar, dreaming of the brand new oak bar he will be working behind someday! RD passes the piece of paper to taz and taz's jaw drops to the floor, he speedily begins to collect the expensive wine bottles for mac and begins pouring a couple of dozen of the finest brewskis in the cantina. The rounds of drink are passed around and Mac opens a chilled vintage wine. Taz opens up his paw and demands the money to pay for such an awesome ammount of alchohol. Raging Deadstar coyly steps aside and says...*
"Put it on Ragnaroks tab!" *Raging Deadstar then hides in the back corner of the tent where it is darkest and pulls out a quijabaord and begins to contact Growltigger from beyond the grave! He pulls out a couple of candles and lights them as they ominously flicker. He then holds up ragnaroks tab and all the lights go out, then re-alight. As the lights go out the ground shudders like a great beast has awoken. The middle of the tent where the makeshift pool table is englufed in a red light and a firey pentagram is drawn across the floor magically. The pentagram then cracks open until a giant hole engulfs the floor which flames lick out of. Suddenly Growltiggers voice can be heard...* "DON'T COME BACK TO YOU PAY ALL OF IT OFF!!" *Ragnarok comes sailing out of the portal and lands in a clump with some tables and chairs in the side of the tent. A few red hot pokers fly out and hit primitive up the back entry and he is forced to run to the waterfall in david gervais minature, and cool off his rear end even though he did relieve himself in it! Growltigger then turns round and heads back into the portal and the ground closes up again...* Welcome back ragnarok, sorry if you have to pay off those drinks but hey at least your alive! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif Anyway i just cancelled my tab with taz so I'm safe from tab shiffting http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif [ March 24, 2003, 21:01: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ] |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
*Rags comes flying out of the giant hole that is now in the middle of what used to be the parking lot of the Cantina. Rags flies who knows how high into the sky and falls back to the ground with a great thump on the concrete slab. Rags manages to get to his feet, al be it, with a great headache such as no man has ever had. Rags stumbles over to the edge of the giant hole that was created when he was tossed out of the firey depths, and yells down to the demons that threw him out: "Yeah well you can just go to h***!" Moment of silence. "Oh, wait, too late for that, eh? Sorry, no offense!"*
*Rags then walks over to the man they call RD and offers his hand for a handshake to show his gratitude for saving him from the depths of hell. RD reaches out to shake Rags hand and when he does his hand burns like nothing has ever burnt before. RD yells in pain and he runs around with his hand smoking still from shaking Rags hand. He continues to blow on it and wave his hand around trying to cool it off before he finally dips it in a pitcher of beer. He yells even louder as that causes the pain to increse. He finds a pitcher of water and dips his hand in that. Finally relief from the pain. Rags thinks to himself: "Shoot, I guess I haven't cooled off myself from being down there for the past week. Oh well, that's what he gets for putting all those drinks on my tab." Rags then evilly smiles to himself as he plots out his next move.* *Rags begins to think about it a bit more and he realizes something. So he walks over to Taz and asks him for his tab to look over the expenses. At the top of the tab is the name Ragnarok, but Rags looks closer and with closer inspection he notices that there is white out under his name. So Rags rubs off the white out only to reveal the name Power Man. He ponders this and decides to take it to Taz to find out what to do. Taz upon looking at it a bit more decides that since Power Mans name was on the tab under Rags' name, that Power Man has to pay for all the drinks incured when RD when on his spending spree. So that leaves Rags with a nice clean tab and Power Man with a heck of a tab to pay before his ship is ready to leave.* *Rags walks to the corner booth and sits down with his drink. He begins to plot out his next move.* |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Well that was quick.
Thanks for the wine Ragnarok. What a floor show! I wish I had got a reading on that primative's "back end" energy. Now barkeep I would like a glass of your best ale. And how much for a trip to the lettuce bar? I better get some soon, it looks like there is just the one head of lettuce left. |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
*Rags walks over to Power Man and says: "Power Man, do you realize you have a hefty tab to p..." just then, as the single FBW that is left from the aftermath of the blown to bits Cantina, takes the order to Taz to fix up his head of lettuce order. Taz notices that Power Man has a heck of a tab to pay and he refuses to fix his order up until he pays it. Taz then whispers something to Rags and Rags smiles. Rags proceeds to make his way over to Power Man again and he says: "Come with me." Power Man then responds, "Not until I get my food!" Rags simply waves his hand and a group of Battle Gophers come marching into the Tent area of TTC (The Tent Cantina) and they grab Power man and proceed to carry him off. Power Man is kicking and screaming for the Giant Battle Gophers to drop him but they won't do it. The Battle Gophers finally drop him in a seat and tie him up. They then proceed to beat the living day lights out of Power Man until he is willing to pay his outstanding tab that he now has.*
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Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
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Bah! No matter. What? I can get clones here? Oops. (QuarianRex looks at the salad bar with a smidge of guilt) 50,000 minerals (plus shipping) per clone, eh Deadstar? Tis a mite bit steep it would seem. It's a good thing that my Technocratic Enclave (TM) has already moved on to the population phase of its Sphereworld construction/relocation plan. The rising economy should be able to handle the strain of a sizable purchase. I would like 5 Anna Kournikovas. All fully combat trained of course (I likes them sturdy). Then 100 Alexander the Great/Sun Tzu hybrids. I can always use some extra strategic advisors. Lastly, what do you have in the hulking shocktrooper department? I'm looking for something capable of tearing a tank in twain with its bare hands and capable of withstanding hellish punishment (I'm talking being able to take the sonic barage of Celine Dion without crumpling, tall order, I know). Also, if they had true hermaphroditic reproductive capabilities, a gestation period of three weeks, and could reach combat-ready maturity in six months, well, that would be great. I could use about 10,000 of those. How soon could I expect them? And could you put a... ahem... rush delivery on the Annas? *QR examines the tent, sees the furry bartender drooling on/polishing glasses, a conspicuous pentagram burned into the parking lot, a strangely amonia-smelling yellow fountain the size of a desktop, and various surly patrons, some in various states of human combustion. I like the ambiance here. Perhaps I'll get a beer while I wait. |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
*Raging Deadstar whom has been sitting back clutching his hand and cursing quietly, that hadn't gone to plan. He drinks the rest of his drink (non alchoholic of course!) and begins to feel sorry for the new guy who ragnarok was about to beat up. So RD gets up and watches as power man is taken to ragnaroks ship. RD pulls out his laptop which he had just posted his latest game turn and sends an e-mail to ragnaroks master computer...*
-=-= In Ragnaroks Ship=-=- *A loud beep can be heard and brings the almost unconcious power man back awake. Ragnarok looks at the pc and opens the e-mail, it was from Raging Deadstar with a voice message. He plays the file and the word Onions can be heard throughout the ship. A giant black hole appears like out of various cartoons appears and a large pile of onions fill the bridge of ragnaroks ship, burying anyone alive..* Now for Business. *RD runs off to his ship and returns 10 minutes later with the fully formed Anna Kournikova clones wander in, in very revealing sexy black dresses* 5 Anna Kournikova clones with added endurance and combat abilities. 250000 + 1000 Shipping. I'll give you a sample Alexander/Sun Tzu Clones for now. + The Big End Crippling Payout of 50% which is 125000 for all of those clones. + I get access to your tab So the toal cost is 376000 Minerals please As for stormtrooper/army/bodyguards talk to primitive over there, he may not be house trained and might try and mug you but i could clone him for you. Or you could try the speciality Rabid Vanessa Feltz??? She would certainly suit your needs for being able to rip a tank in two http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif [ March 24, 2003, 22:25: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ] |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
All right if that's the way things work around here.
Power Man tells Taz while I am not into the tying up and beating seens, I'll let Spork know. Those Battle gophers remind me of the story Spork told when he got back from his Last trip to the planet "underground". I am not sure how my bill got so large, but I do know my tabs. Here is a Very Rare item that I am sure covers my bill. Power Man hands Taz a small black retangular artifact. Insribed on it in white is the word TAB. Under that are two arrows. Taz is amazed at the fine workmanship and value of the artifact. He shouts, "Your TAB is written off" The FBW finally returns with the lettuce order. Power Man takes the order and leaves. I'll eat this outside. The are in here is getting stale. |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
All right if that's the way things work around here.
Power Man tells Taz while I am not into the tying up and beating seens, I'll let Spork know. Those Battle gophers remind me of the story Spork told when he got back from his Last trip to the planet "underground". I am not sure how my bill got so large, but I do know my tabs. Here is a Very Rare item that I am sure covers my bill. Power Man hands Taz a small black retangular artifact. Insribed on it in white is the word TAB. Under that are two arrows. Taz is amazed at the fine workmanship and value of the artifact. He shouts, "Your TAB is written off" The FBW finally returns with the lettuce order. Power Man takes the order and leaves. I'll eat this outside. The are in here is getting stale. |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
OOPS sorry about the double post. I am not sure haw that happened. It is hard to use my computer because I seem to be missing my TAB key.
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Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
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P.S. Ghosts can't smell or taste, so we don't really care what kind of liquid flows down the waterfall, and yellow is just as good a color as any I suppose. Boo! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...s/rolleyes.gif [ March 24, 2003, 23:05: Message edited by: David E. Gervais ] |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
QuarianRex looks at the fearsome bill of 376000, then at the Kournikova clones, his decision made for him. He efficiently barks a few orders into his handy-dandy trans-spatial wrist-com and waits.
Within minutes the sky bursts into a coruscation of light as a Warp Point opens in this sector. As quickly as the sky lightened, so to does it now darken as a ship of truly mind boggling proportions eclipses both the sun and the newly created warp point. As the floating behemoth descends just outside the crater its underside splits open to release a deluge of minerals that just barely misses some poor beat-up looking lad who was trying to eat some lettuce. Long moments pass as the thunderous assault continues, seemingly without end. When finally the cacaophony comes to an end the ship seals its hold and raises back into the sky, its exit marked by the closing of the wormhole. As light returns to the shattered landscape surrounding this meager tent a glorious mound of minerals, just slightly smaller than everest, can now be seen to dominate the landscape. "Ooh, it's so big!", the Annas coo in unison. QuarianRex, brought back from picturing what the Annas would look like in catholic schoolgirl uniforms, replies, "What? That? It's not much. It's a bit of an inconvenience really. If only these primitives would get past using the barter system..." "Ahem", interjects AlexTzu, "Milord I believe that locals currently operate primarily under a system of credit." "Hmm..? What was that? I was distracted by the Annas. (quit touching me there, well, actually don't stop, but not in public you naughty minxes) Credit you say? Well I'll have to remember that for next time. My current debt is now paid in full. Well now, where is this primitive fellow? I wonder if he will mind being cloned into a hermaphrodite?" |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Power Man unplugs his ears and looks around. What a racket! I have not heard anything so bad since Spork cranked up the volume while playing his latest Heavy Metal Rock Group CD.
Brushing all the metal dust off his jacket he realizes his meal is too wilted to eat. He scoops a small hole in the moutain of metal and buries what's left of the greens. Seeing the large blue man and the set of Good Looking Quints he thinks, "Hey maybe I should get one of those to be my new yoman!" |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
*A sly smirk spreads across the young ship captains face as he orders full speed towards the cantina. The fireball ignites as the heat shield coated armour kicks in and the stream of fire hurtles through the stratosphere. Eventually the giant stream of flame cools down and begins to enter the planets orbit. As it enters the oxygen atmosphere a defeaning rumbling can be heard as the bass line to slayer's reign in blood album plays over the ships massive loud speakers. Arguably the pinnacle of ther finest metal music created. Screeching and guitar mastery alike clash as the guitar solo kicks in and the many beverages in the cantina begin to shake. The dreadnought turns down the volume to make sure the tent isn't blown away and parks on the edge of the crater. A young man jumps down from his ship and heads towards the cantina, clothed entirely in black in bondage jeans and mesh tops with a long black leather trenchcoat blowing in the wind! His hair lethal resembling a mace with it's twisted spikes. He walks throw the tent entrance and his flanked by two of his best trained bodyguards, Talena Atfield (ex-Kittie Bassist) and Otep Shamaya (Otep Vocalist) and they look around in their matching leather combat suits, carrying their lethal staffs strewn with blades. Much of this overhyped security was nessercary for someone now feared as leader of belgium!!! He sits down and the FBW seductively walks over to his table to order his drink. He buys himself an apple juice (staying true to his non-alcholism) and orders his bodyguards a drink as a perk, bewing the evil overlord of belgium's bodyguards had certain privellages*
Power Man, You may want to expirience some the finer culinary traits of this tempoary cantina, theres a stall outside now selling deep fried tribble wings, i havn't tasted thyem as taz objects to this meal but i hear they make a nice snack. Quarian Rex, it was nice doing business with you, my transports or shuttling those minerals back to the deadstar continuum, hope you enjoy those anna kournikova clones Also Power Man, if that dispicable ragnarok pulls any sort of cartoon violence upon you i suggest you call him raggamuffin and wreak horrible revenge, if not i'll sort him out for you (As ol' Raggamuffin's nemesis i must stand up for all those who are smited against by the young fiend http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif ) |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Thank You DG.
Boy what an entrance. I'll have to get Spork down here to meet you. With your taste in clothing and music you two would hit if off right away. I think I will get some of those tribble wings. I hear tey taste a lot like chicken. I need to get something to get the metal dust taste out of my mouth. Besides I never did get to finnish my lettuse. Power Man gets a double order of tribble wings with a large ale. He sits down by the small cantina model. As he eats his wings ( RD they are VERY GOOD) he looks at the fine model. Now that the falls are running clean one can get close and look into the tiny windows. Inside the model it looks much like the original Phong's Head Cantina as it was described so long ago (some 193 pages and 2800 replys). Too bad Power man did not get here earler. The small tent and portable bar is just not the same. But wait... What is that tiny half seen shade I see flitting around inside the model???? |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
*dogscoff strides into the temporary cantina. Well, I say strides... he's only a baby, so it's more of a waddle on little baby legs. Still, he looks pretty cool with a ceremonial silk nappy (diaper), swishy purple cape and big ceremonial hat. He orders a pint of breast milk before making his announcement. He is trailed by a crowd of adoring cult followers who cower and wail in his presence.
"I am Reborn" he announces. "Prostrate yourselves before me, for I am the holy one." Everyone looks a bit bemused as he explains his new cult. He got the idea from S_J over at Plato's pub, and has decided to get himself a load of cash by exploiting cult-groupies. It's simple really, it's called the Church of Divine Non-Intervention. The basic premise is that God created the entire universe and set events in motion, and hasn't done anything else in this universe since. It explains why God allows wars and plagues and famines to happen, because he's just not looking. And since God's not looking, we can do whatever the hell we want to. To prove this point, dogscoff boks Powerman across the back of the head with his holy sceptre and grabs lewdly at a passing Anna Kournikova clone. Quarian Rex grabs dogscoff by the throat in defence of his AK clone, but the little baby begins to cry and while QR is feeling guilty one of dogscoff's new disciples boots Rex in the groin. Now, let us pray- just to prove that no-one's listening. |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Who let the Kids Out ?? WA WA WA WA.
I thought Minors were not allowed in the Cantina? Now we have a mob of little children yelling in here. The Quintet of Anna K's all run over to dogscoff. "Oh what a cute little baby. Isn't he SWEET!! " He's making the funniest baby sounds. It's almost as he is trying to tell us something. OH he must need his nappy changed!!! He needs A BATH !!!! The Anna K's sweep up dogscoff and take him outside to the model cantina. They they give him a much needed bath in the fountain. ( And it was finally running clean too.) Power Man suggest they "Give the kid a tribble wing to chew on. Maybe that will Shut Him Up" (By the way He is always watching. He is just Very Very sneeky.) |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
*Raging Deadstar looks over from his table bemused by the little baby dogscoff and realises the terrible plan that he is beginning!!!*
*RD works over the details and realises that since dogscoff is a supposedly cute baby, and is dressed in a ridiculous ceremonial silk nappy (diaper), swishy purple cape and big ceremonial hat. This means that every self respecting female in the vicinity will fuss all over him, it's like moths to a flame, he's a bloody women magnet now!! Sure that means ugly women as well, but this is the cantina where said women are FBW's and celebrities. Sure he can't get "it" up at the age he is now and in a couple of years women will avoid him like the plague because he's a toddler but think. All the women will be drooling at the mouth to cuddle and pamper him, they join his cult and you lot won't have the fbw's to oggle and serve your drinks, now i don't mind fetching my own drink and i have my girlfriend at home to keep me happy, but the rest of you won't have such perks. Think... Primitive: No FBW's to rub lotion over your body in the shower! Quarian Rex: Your Anna clones will become obsessed with dogscoff, no attention for you! Ragnarok & Powerman: No FBW's cleaverage to stare at as they lean over to serve your drink! Mac: your liz hurley clones will no longer be interested in you, only dogscoff! The future of the cantina is on your hands! Unless Growltigger returns from beyond the grave we must band together and fight this horrible threat to the good life we lead here! OR We admit defeat and join dogscoffs cult, less casualties, we'll be under control of an megalomanic baby from bournemouth and no doubt he'll keep the woemn locked away in the room his crib is in, and use them all the breast feeding. Also it wouldn't be as much fun as laying down a testosterone driven attack upon the young baby... *Raging Deadstar whistles and calls for people to take up arms with him, a giant fat bastard clone from austin powers burst through the tent door and begins chasing dogscoff round the cantina, trying to eat him! RD's battle trained female bodyguards grab their bladed staff's and stand by either side of him, ready to fight to the death and a bunch of overweight yodelling leiderhosen clad belgians line up behind him! Let the battle begin...* Yeah i'm such an antagonistic little... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
I don’t think we have to worry about dogscoff. Right now he thinks he is “Hot Stuff”. But like that earlier dancing baby on the internet he will get old very fast. The first 2 AM cry for “Breast milk” followed by a 2:30 AM cry for a new nappy will end even the Cute Quint’s infatuation with the little Brat.
As much as I would enjoy a good testosterone driven attack , launching such an attack on a group of little babies, even though one hit me with his rattle, is just too much. Lets try this instead. Seeing that the little Brat is about to be eaten by the fat bastard clone from austin powers Power Man exclaims “OH God, don’t kill the baby !!” At that the sky is darkened, a beam of light splits the tent. A booming voice is heard “OK. I WILL SAVE THE LITTLE BRAT.” A small nun with a very large hat flies in and grabs dogscoff from the clone. She takes little dogscoff and flies up into the sky. The beam of light snaps off, the tent is un-split and a hush falls over the cantina. Dogscoffs little friends forget all about him and go out to play with the toy cantina. They make mud pies in the fountain. (That poor fountain) The bunch of overweight yodelling leiderhosen clad Belgians see the Anna K clones and start wanting one each for them selves. dogscoff finds himself in the custody of the orphanage of the Little Sisters of Devine Intervention. There he can coo and cry all he wants. The nuns there (cute or ugly who can tell in those habits) will give him all of the milk (cow) and nappies (cloth) he needs. Why there is even room there for all of his little friends. There doscoff will learn how to be “Good Little Boy” and never bother anyone again. Have a Good Life little dogscoff. Remember “He is with you, Always”. Also Remember When one prays He always listens. It is just that He doesn’t always Answer. And you DG, stop being so antagonistic. Chill out. Why don’t you go Paint a Fence. ( I have one that needs painting.) |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
Mac, while lounging in his chair at his table watches the shenanigans going on when all of a sudden a light breeze wafts thru the cantina tent... oh my.. snif, snif, D... Dogscoff I think you filled that diaper your wearing and need a changing, Mac yells as he turns colors, with tears runnning down his cheeks. "Someone take that baby Dogscoff into the inner sanctum and get him cleaned up""" as Mac ever so slowly passes out from the wafting odors carried downwind from the Scoff http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif
sleeping like a baby Mac |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
*dogscoff soon settles into his life under the care of the nuns, but never forgets the wrongs committed against him. He soon senses the need to move on, and shortly afterwards the orphanage is burned down while all the occupants are away on a trip. All the children are moved on to the orphanage in the next town, which is run by the same order. All the children, that is, except one...
Due to a strange anomoly in the orphanage's records (almost as though someone had hacked into their computer, but why would anyone do such a thing?) dogscoff is re-homed with a slightly different group of nuns. The Sisters of Shrieking Plasma are a little-known order, dedicated to the teaching of God's word and pursuit of divine understanding through chastity, good works, devout prayer and breaking heads. Mother Superior Mary Ballgrinder is on the convent's firing range when she receives a letter instructing her to collect a baby and bring it up in the ways of the lord. She shoulders her napalm-spreader, and interrupts one of the younger nuns who is in the middle of her morning weightlifting session. She sends the novice to pick up the youngster, then she offers a quick prayer and goes about ordering all the things they'll need to accomodate the infant and instruct him in the ways of the order: Nappies, milk, a cot, a baby sized grenade-launcher, some miniature automatic weapons and a teeny tiny cute little training-body for hand-to-hand combat and bayonet training. *baby-dogscoff smiles to himself, hiding his cult's ceremonial robes under his bedding. Patience. Patience is all he needs and soon he will have everything he requires to exact his revenge. |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
QuarianRex casually enjoys his beverage as he watches the recent spectacle. The arrival of the baby cult, the (temporary) desertion of his Anna K clones (heaven help the man who gets in the middle of those maternal instincts), the arrival of the fat cannibal, and then the apparently divine ascention of that messianic snottling.
Fascinating resolution. Glad that I didn't have to intervene. It wouldn't do to show my hand too early. No, that wouldn't do at all. Now what's going on with that bunch of overweight yodelling leiderhosen clad Belgians? Are they trying to grope my Anna Quints? This should be interesting. Ouch...Did ya have to hit him there?...oh...didn't see that coming...was that a squish?...he'll be walkin' funny...eww...that won't heal right...so much leiderhosen...Ohh the Humanity! Well, it seems that the quints enhanced combat training was quite worth the cost. That'll teach those dirty Belgians not to grope what's not theirs. Now to dress the Quints up like naughty schoolgirls...heh-heh... |
Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
A new cult? What does this cult believe in... oh, we can do whatever we want! Hey, I like that philosophy: no rules, no regulations forbidding us to do things, no requirements on what we have to do? Hey, but this Order of Shrieking Plasma sounds cool, too. You work out a lot and get tons of combat training! Becoming a highly trained super-warrior might be kind of fun.
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Re: Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong\'s Head Cantina - After Hours
*Ponders to himself the idea about dogscoffs cult*
If we're allowed to do anything we want doesn't that mean that we don't have to worship you but still do what we want? So technically we don't HAVE to worship you! *suggests that dogscoff puts a rule in saying all cult members must serve dogscoff faithfully and care for his every whim!* |
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