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Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
The camera pans back, reminiscient of the opening of the battle of sterling in Braveheart. The battle lines are forming, and initial skirmishing is going on to boot.....
A ballistae fires its steely arrow, adroitly ripping off the female T-Rex costume off what turns out to be 4 Fu Man Chu lookalikes on a tricycle clutching a boombox playing the sound track to Jurassic Park. A flurry of fiery arrows turns them into wantons.. (that old 4 chinaman in a comedy T-Rex outfit never works!) The torrent of country music is drowned out by the sound of bells and whistles, Raging Deadstar and his nasty army of conservatives, knights and were-gerbils runs gibbering in terror when the evil band of bearded social workers and maths teachers comes charging out of GT's battleline all garbed up as morris dancers....hell hath no fury like a middle aged tosser in bells and whistles waving handerchiefs and who, I might add, should really know better.... The heavy artillery loads up the greek fire, flaming projectiles and stink bomb gas, as well as the anti-Cumbrian evil boll weevil knacker nibbling parasite bombs - boy, is RD going to get it... GT shrugs off the welsh colours, urinates on the paint, waves his magic wand, and turns RD into a fey canadian rugby player, just before the whole Springbok first fifteen charge onto him.... Woundwort, finding out that the dampening field has stopped his vanishing trick, disappears under an nasty horde of mongooses.... and what silly sod is bring cobras to the party, mongooses eat cobras!! |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
With an electric WHOOMP, mongooses fly in all directions as Woundwort activates a Personal Shield generator he found at a trader's booth in the Arrakis bazaar.
"Boss, I've fulfilled my end of the contact from day one. I paid for that Starfury cantina twice over, from my own pocket. I even came here to offer moral support for your onslaught when all the other old customers were out for your blood. And this is the thanks I get! Okay, fine! If that's the way we're gonna play - LET'S ROCK!" Rapidly punching buttons on his wrist computer, Woundwort opens a door in the back of the cantina. Out of the door pours a horde of heavily modified pinwheel attack droids, who begin to lay waste to the legions of mongooses and whatever else GT has to throw at them. |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
Power Man loads up the CATaplut with some items and fires into GT's army.
The CATaplut launches several large picture books into the middle of the teachers and social workers. These are not just Any books. They are CATalogs !! As they hit the ground a change comes over GT's troops. The math teachers grab the books up and start building Log and even Log-Log tables. The social workers grab up the books and start recording their life Works as Log entries. Soon the whole army so tired they fall asleep. Their snores sound like Logs being sawed. GT is so busy he does not see a large CATbird fly through the roof and drop off a chilled can of tonic by his side. GT turns back and sees the can of tonic. Felling the need to replenish his body fluids, and thinking : "Finally this must be a drink from David ", GT POPS the top and drains the can in one Belch Inducing gulp. Only then does he read the label. DR. Franks CATatonic Drink. For a paralyzing DEEP SLEEP this can't be beet. GT is filled with TERROR !!! He falls to the ground with a fit of CATaplexy. His limbs go numb, he can't move or speak. Soon he lies there in a CATatonic state. As for the mongooses, I did say these are SSuper SSpecial SSPiting Cobrasss . The mongoose can't eat what they can't catch!! A Special Squad of the SSuper SSpecial SSPiting Cobrasss streak to Woundwort's aid. The mongooses turn to meet their Arch Enemies. As they approach the mongooses the the Cobras let fly with streams of venom. The SSuper SSpecial venom hits the mongoose where it has a CATolitic effect. It causes the mongoose to burst into FLAME!! Soon a fowl SMELL fills the area as mongooses are all burnt up. It appears that the mongeese's goose is cooked. Hay Taz you can now add Roast Mongoose to your CATalog of food items… Just look at all the neet things that start with CAT. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...s/rolleyes.gif |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
*Raging Deadstar quickly dives to the left of the incoming various sharp objects. He reaches to his side and pulls out the patented "Ghastly Art Student Colour Scheme Paintball Gun". Opening fire (With a rather relaxing thud-thud-thud automated firing sound) on the helpless masses of remainging Mongooses and Morris Dancers. Who, it must be said, rather promptly run in fear from the terrible paint schemes covering them*
"Release the Censors!!!" RD Shouts as hundreds of Censorship people flood the cantina accusing GT Of gross violence and dubious methods that are unacceptable...blah blah...blah...blah...Oh good they're done! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif *Maliki walks over to the more lethal weapon next to him, the mounted harpoon gun, loads it and laughs as it fires into the foray of enemies! It might have took out some censors but they are cannon fodder anyway http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif * |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
Right, outnumbered 3 to 1, surrounded by foes, ganged up on by nasty Americans and a Cumbrian, it is time to get creative......
OK, dealing with foes in order of posting... Strike 1 General Woundwort obvious forgets that there is a dampening field in place over all the cantina, which means that all electronic gagdetry has no effect.... Mongooses briefly fly in all directions when said Woundwort stands up, but we are talking about the 3rd light infantry of the 5th Legion, the fearsome "knacker nibblers" and hell hath no fury like an armoured mongoose denied his knacker nibbling for a second... the mongooses dive back in, and Woundwort is encased in a writhing mass of knacker nibbling anger... GT strides out of the lines and kicks said virginian in the bonce. "Listen sunny jim, you know the terms for the old cantina, you read the contract. This is what is called an event of default, the event is what is happening now, the default is what is going to happen next".. A killer mongoose greek fire team marches up to the great kat, and at his directions, inserts the nozzle of their bellows up Woundwort's rectum. "Old business pardner (I believe you Americans say), this is going to hurt you more than its hurts me.. mongooses away, fire crew shoot." Woundwort leaves the cantina in a bottom related inferno.... the pinwheel robots, being technological devices, clatter forward two feet, and then fall over on some were-gerbils. Strike 2 GT walks over to the strange figure, sitting in the corner of the cantina, and smoking what can only be described as the hugest reefer known to mankind. "Power Man old chap" says the mighty, but considerate cat, "I do not know what type of mary jane you have in that thing, but it has scrambled your marbles, and you are hallucinating, may be you should sit this one out" GT leaves the wretched old druggee snoozing and toking out in his corner... And by the way, mongeese has ablative armour Strike 3 RD dives to the left, right into the path of the buzzsaw shuriken launched from a particular unpleasant rodent crewed cannon.. the paint balls bounce of the armoured torsos of the Byzantine legions mailed warrior mongooses who, it is true, are slightly alarmed by the gibbering cumbrian sausage scoffer being awfully strange in front of them.. true, the marshalled hordes retreat from the censors, but not when GT fires up the betsy the bloody hot and painful battle axe and charges into the fray. Gore sprays everywhere, that's for my mum, that's for my dad, that's for my aunt nelly, that's for my aunt lucy, that's for uncle jim bless him, that's for grandpa albrecht, that's for cousin gale (grrrrr), that's for my bro, that's for my step-bro, that's for cousin susan.................................... that's for cousin brian... that's for my sis... Pity for the censors I have got such a big family.... Gore is spread all over the cantina, the censors are annihilated and splattered in bits all over the shop... GT signals the artillery corp, the damn great red hot poker 4000mm pain howitzer fires, and this Maliki person disappears in a bLast of ash, cinders and a rather quick scream of "ouch"... RD living proof that Cumbrians snog otters |
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Get some water cooking Taz, shrimp sandwiches coming up !!! |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
The mongooses stare in confusion as the Woundwort they attack fades into nothingness.
"Oh, come on, Boss, you didn't think I'd leave myself open to that sort of treatment, did you? Electroncs, schmectronics. Quantum-level technology, that's the ticket." From the rear ranks, a quantum shielded Woundwort reappears, picks up a barstool and starts racking up a score of mongooses. WHACK "One!" WHACK "Two!" "Hey RD! Two already! There's plenty enough for the both of us, may the best score win!" WHACK "Three!" (and, well, you get the idea...) |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
As the crowd swoops down on the poor old wizen one, as they are about to rend him, limb from limb, they stop, frozen in their tracks, shortly they turn around and go back to their tables to watch the bloodshed being waged within the confines of the cantina between the Furry Feline and his mutinous minions. The wize one just smiles, and slips something back into his pocket. Ahh it works he mumbles and he lifts his brewski towards the waring factions in toast to their steadfast and continuing cartoon violence. He looks towards Renegade and smiles.. aahh if he only knew what is about to happen to him.... he laughs..... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif take my pizza and you pay the piper... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif
just some ideas mac |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
As he's foiled again, Renegade pauses in his plotting to take a look at the chaos surrounding him. Fortunatly, there's still a perch available to watch the action http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif Nimbly jumping about 20 feet in the air, Renegade lands lightly on the rafter of the Cantina. With clear surroundings, Renegade can now watch with amusement the other Cantina patrons attempting to rend each other limb from limb.
"This is for you Mac, you selfish old coot!! Not let me steal your pizza huh?" Dropping his (rather heavy) titanium beer mug on the noggin of Mac, Renegade laughs with delight as the wizened one sways on his feet for a couple seconds, then crumples in a sodden heap....right in the middle of the knacker nibbling mongooses http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif [ April 27, 2004, 04:14: Message edited by: Renegade 13 ] |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
Growltigga smirks to himself. His arch-nememis, that wretched virgin Woundwort has retired from the battle, with his tail well and truly between his legs.
The smirk is wiped off his face when he hears RD's words. "Listen you inbred Cumbrian sausage fiddling morris dancing missing link, my work is based in Manchester. I live in Cheshire, and I AM FROM GOD'S OWN EARTH, LAND OF THE FREE, HOME OF THE BRAVE AND PROOF THAT THE GARDEN OF EDEN WAS ENGLISH, YES KENT, Canterbury to be exact. Anyone suggesting I talk with a stupid accent and come from oop north is acting for trouble". GT wades threw the throng, grabs RD by the throat and proceeds to choke the life out of the wretch, whilst bashing his head against the floor. GT is slightly put off when the cumbrian farmers charge toward the fray. Thinking quickly, he turns to them and says "Lads, what are you doing here? there is a barn dance going on in Carlisle and all your female cousins are there, and they are all about 14 years old". Where once was a crowd of angry Cumbrian farmers, now all that can be seen is a puff of dust and a streak of something moving rapidly up the M6. GT looks at the Cat from Red Dwarf, and says, "Pllluueeeaaaasssee, the only thing that smells good in here is Me, (damn I love this aftershave)" RD awaits his evil plan to come to fruition, whilst being throttled and having his head banged with some force against the floor |
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"Gods own earth? are you sure, England is known for football hooligans, kebabs and Essex Girls.... God really does have a funny sense of humour... And Canterbury.... oooh boy we have a Southerner Here" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif *RD Whilst being choked, throtled and mangled manages a smile.* "Does Mrs GT know about the huge expenses you pay for this army" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif *RD then quickly grabs GT's Red Hot Poker Cannon and fires it straight through GT's foot. Growltigger tries to remain composed, tears welling and bottom lip bitten. RD scrambles away and then grabs his broadsword lying amongst the carnage.* "Come on Ye Olde Southerner. Any Closer to France and you would have been born with a beret! I spit upon your pathetic, and rather expensive, attempts to defeat us!" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif EDIT: Glad to know I can enjoy my promotion to captain before i'm dismantled, dismembered, decombobulated and anything else. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif [ April 27, 2004, 14:06: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ] |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
"Ouch ouch ouch ouch, RD" says GT hopping on one foot, " I have one thing to say to you, you evil north western black pudding scoffing ferret felcher, and that BAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH".
Hey guys, do you know that Raging Deadstar has 15 girlfriends? they are all called Flossy!! Yep, I am from Canterbury, the deep south of England, I suppose like the equivalent of Alabama but without the rednecks, stupid accents and Americans... And as for England, it is god's own earth football hooligans? what are we doing now in the cantina (PS Chelsea to win 2 nil on the return leg and beat Monaco on the away goal rule PPS Slae Sharks to make Europe after getting through on thr wildcard), kebabs? never touch them, I like my food not to look like a girl's private parts Essex girls - fine with me, dont knock 'em until you try them, or at least, knock them when you try them.. And yes, Mrs GT knows about the expenses. AS long as she gets the opportunity to terrorise the kingdom of the danes, and shop of course, she is fine Monsieur Le Furibond Etoile Du Mort, you 'av met your Waterloo you stupid Cumbrian Knigggut, GT pulls out his most fearsome weapon, the flaming serrated armoured plated eggwhisk of doom....(you know, one of those with two whirly things and a handle you resolve, except this one is evil and on fire) RD's broadsword is rapidly chopped into bits, and ask the eggwhisk of doom delves in, organs, blood, boldily parts, hair, clothing and other mucky bits of RD (including that purply wobbly bit by the spleen) are sprayed all round the cantina...... RD is no more, he is shredded and gazing round, GT sees that the Byzantine mongoose horde has annihilated it opposition. The cantina is his. Now for some peace and quiet, taking RD's still steaming head, GT drops his kecks and sits down upon it, opening his copy of the financial times, and settling down for a nice quiet crap. Ahhhhhh, peace, at Last. [ April 27, 2004, 14:25: Message edited by: Growltigger ] |
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*The silence is absoloute as GT Claims the Cantina for his own and surveys the damage.*
*Well it would be if it weren't for the manical laughter of a disembodied presence.* "Tut Tut Tut GT. It would seem victory was yours, but you have not seen the Last of myself. Not until the end times of the forum when the one known as Ragnarok will bring the end of the cantina and your glorious reign." And with that the presence dissipated... *Hundreds of Light Years away deep in Deadstar Space a body suddenly wakes up and looks around, clutching it's chest as the onlookers watch..* "Lord Deadstar?" "That Guy is One SICK Eggwhisk wielding Southerner!!!" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
Growltigga sits comfortably on the dismembered head of RD, at peace with the world, and feeling mightily releived. Damn, there is nothing like a good brawl to make one need a heavy dump. Growltigga finishes reading the financial times, and is pleased to review the brief obituary of Raging Deadstar in it.
He tears off the page, and uses this to wipe his fur down. Fine, that daft Cumbrian sheep molester can come back anytime he wants. The eggwhisk of doom is ready and waiting for his next feeble attempt to usurp the cantina from its lawful owner. Now to get this place cleaned up, recruit some FBW's, reinstall the pygmies in the loo and Barry in the carpark (awww look at him picking over the carnage, ain't he sweat), and find Taz again to run the bar Note to self, ban Ragnarok from cantina, or alternatively, or just kill him when he comes in [ April 27, 2004, 15:05: Message edited by: Growltigger ] |
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*A message pops up on Mac's laptop*
From: Raging Deadstar To: Forum Chat Bar & Grill My Plan worked, we fought bravely, you have returned from lurking and i have just bought 40% stock in the cantina because shareholders dislike Collateral Damage and Revoloutions! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif *A Seccond Message pops up* General Woundwort is charged with storing and selling American drinks upon your premises and with your liscence. The FB-NAD (Federal Bureau of Non American Drinks) is on it's way to issue fines and arrests. [ April 27, 2004, 15:05: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ] |
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Errr RD, you have bought shares in thr wrong cantina.
The shares in the REAL cantina are owned by Tigg-Scoff PLC, which in turn is jointly owned by those cowboys of the spaceways, Dogscoff and Growltigga. R U Sure that you havn't mistakenly bought shares in Manchester United.... and PS if you had bought 40% of the shares in the real cantina, rule 7 of Blue book would mean you have to mandatorily make a offer on no less favourable terms for the rest of the shares. I would check your substantial acquisition rules if I were you.. blow, I have reverted into lawyer speak |
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1. Since when has Tigg-Scoff PLC went by the book? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif
2. This isn't the real cantina. This is the "Forum Chat Bar and Grill" Not the Phong's head http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif |
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We have gone by the book at any time when there is the remotest chance that we would have been caught by the regulatory authorities, the enforcement agencies, or in extreme cases, any offended deity
Bugger, you are right, I have wrecked the wrong cantina. Oh well, at least I dont have to run the place and repair the damage, and I have so wanted to see what that hellfire blitzkrieg cannon would do to structures. Do you know, a battle royale in the cantina is just not the same without Ragnarok to abuse, and Dogscoff to join in the fray! |
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I must agree, Ragnarok was always the best "whipping boy" of the cantina. And There was no Gaint Mutated sea monsters with celtic names http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif
Although i guess thats why is signed those shares in Ragnaroks name, so the cannon is a great idea... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif |
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Done, do we evacuate the cantina first? keeping in mind Mac and Power Man are comatose here, or do we just fire the gun off and see what happens?
after all, when you are talking bodycount, the higher the better!! |
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I'm light years away in a far away galaxy communicating by Macs laptop...
Go for high body Count http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif |
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Whilst RD and Tigga are not looking Ragnarok slips past them. Ragnarok then looks for the shares to erase his name but then he notices that RD signed them in invisable ink, therefore there is no name on them right now. Ragnarok pulls out a permanant marker and signs the shares in RDs name. Then slips back outside the way he came in and no one even noticed him.
Once Ragnarok returns to his hideout he hacks into RDs computer and starts making Messages come to Tigga that read "Tigga, this is RD...you are fat and have bad body oder!" Many other Messages such as this are sent all the while Tigga thinks it is RD that is doing this. Ragnarok sits back and then sends RD a nasty virus that wipes his computer completely and he then laughs evily. [ April 27, 2004, 15:58: Message edited by: Ragnarok ] |
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*RD Laughs hilariously as he watches the goings on over at the cantina. On His computer*
"Rags, Rags rags. *Shakes head* You are aware those were the new shares for the original Cantina that GT Owns...No, Oh well http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif I guess you own the Phong's head... And you have a very angry ex-owner next to you" "Also, i'm not there http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif And the computer you just hacked was Mac's, currently i am several Hundred Light years away in an Unknown Destination laughing at you..." "Of course you could keep the shares i have bought in your name and plead for GT Not to destroy the cantina you now own http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif " |
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My dear friend, of course I knew that. But when you signed them into my name you used invisable ink! Therefore my signature is no longer on it and I signed yours onto them. So you now own the Cantina and I am sure Tigga will not be happy with you.
"Also, i'm not there http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif And the computer you just hacked was Mac's, currently i am several Hundred Light years away in an Unknown Destination laughing at you..." I hate to disappoint you once again my friend. But working in the IT and computer fields for a living I traced your IP through Macs computer back to your secret hiding spot/unknown destination. Whilst I did infect Macs computer (sorry about that Mac) I got yours as well as I did not want to leave any stone unturned. |
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As for Computers, well we of the Deadstar Continnuum don't use IP Addresses, and Not Windows either (we ain't that evil!) Our computers are obviously more advanced than yours, considering you have to overturn stones to find stuff on yours http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif Look on the brightside, you have a cantina On the darker side i just took control of the cantina defences and have a Wall mounted Red Hot Poker Cannon aiming directly at you... *Rd Wonders though....who's shares did Ragnarok sign, and who's computer did he just blow up http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif * And of course even if this cantina was still in my name, I never said i didn't want GT to test out this giant cannon on it. So i guess you're fried Raggamuffin http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...s/rolleyes.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon6.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif [ April 27, 2004, 16:25: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ] |
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As the dust settles and the SMELL dissipates Power Man Looks over the Battle Field. It came down to the barbed wire but my barricade of Log and Log-Log tables held off the mongoose. My Cobras and old Battle AX kept them at bay.
What a Battle. Even out numbered 3 to 1 GT still wins!! I am sure it will make a fine story and be added to the rest of the Tales there in Canterbury. Note to GT: You are the one who must be seeing things. That is not me in the cantina. I have been out in the field cooking your Mongooses (Mongeese??) The only Old One is "get an idea" Mac. I must get a better English-English to American-English translator. I don't know if was the "oop North" accent but some of the terms just did not translate. I mean just what is a "Cumbrian Knigggut" ?? It was fun but now I must leave. England may be God's land, but as the song goes, "The Bluest Skies are in Seattle." I am off to explore, and conquer my latest SE4 universe. ( I am using an expanded system name file and now have over 250 systems to take over.) Power Man takes out his portable hair dryer and uses it to dry up GT's DAMPing field. As the power comes back the small ship slowly disappears. The Last thing to fade away is my smiling face in the window." http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif Well so long, or in English-English, TA TA … PS.. Congrats on your promotion Captain RD. |
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The Last one is.....On second thoughts i don't think you'd want to know. And Thanks for the congraltulations Powerman, good luck conquering the universe http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
Now that the chaos has calmed down, Renegade gingerly pulls the very uncomfortable pointy object from his rectum, and climbs down from his perch to survey the damage. Dropping down onto the floor, which made a squishing sound as he walked on it, from all the gore, Renegade walks up to Growltigga and confronts the tyrant:
"What was that unprovoked attack for?!?!?? I was harmlessly watching the action, and you just up and violated me with a very painful object!! I expect an APOLOGY!! NOW!!" After stating his demands in a reasonable fashion, Renegade slowly backs towards the door (and possible escape, in case of more red hot poker cannons http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif ), and faces the big Cat. |
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The knacker nibbling mongooses, having sunk their sharp (yet steely) fangs in the scrotal regions of Mac, pull back in horror, spitting frankily, holding their little rodent noses and pulling faces... "ooh great commander, we will happily chew the cojones off anyone, be they living, dead or somewhere inbetween, but even the most heinous and disgusting lord of the nether regions has better bodily hygiene than this old codger, its tastes like really moldy old parmesan.. blyuuurrrkk!!
The mongooses head towards Power Man and savage him instead! Renegade, lurking in the rafters, fails to notice the air artillery corp of the Byzantine horde tracking in on him. Several guided red hot poker anti-aircraft cannon loose their munitions, and the silly old sod is blown off through the ceiling. GT, in the midst of smashing a were gerbil to pavement pizza with a piece of censor, notices Woundworts' transmogrification. If he wants quantum technology, quatum technolgy he gets. Pressing a button on betsy the axe, GT laughs as the nasty Virginian disappears from the cantina, and reappears suspended in mid air over the deepest canyon in the land. A la Wild E Coyote, Woundwort disappears into the depths, smashing into the bottom with a puff of smoke and a resounding crunch.. Having massacred the were gerbils and conservatives, an all out assault is launched on Raging Deadstar. No oikish northerner is going to give defiance to the great kat in his own cantina. Cry havoc, and let slip the rodents of war. Cue, explosions, screaming hordes, mayhem etc oh, and a small aubergine |
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Well, I guess that being suspended over a canyon means I'm out of the damper field, right?
{punches a few buttons on the wrist computer...) "Sancho... NOW." Woundwort transports out of the way of the approaching granite, to... somewhere else. Sorry, guys, you're on your own as far as the rest of this brawl is concerned. I've got an empire to build (for the PBW company to tear apart), and a Mod to unleash. |
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"Hey GT, You're from manchester if i recall correctly, the only place in the country you could pick up a girl in a kebab house (LOW Standards) and you have the nerve to think you're Northerners http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif "
*RD proceeds to continue to smash mongooses with Bar stools (hey, they're high quality considering they've survived that long). RD smiles as his PBC Character gets slaughtered and throws down his flaming baguette, before pulling out his trusty broadsword with serated edges As he whistles two rather terrible things begin to happen* *Firstly a hoard of stereotypical Cumbrian Farmers charge growltigger with pitchforks and combine harvesters (These Guys scare me http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif )* *Secondly a rather well dressed alien walks from the rest room. It's Cat from red dwarf, perhaps the only more stylish and cool cat than Growltigger's self proclaimed position. He struts over and looks at the GT, shakes his head, and proceeds to mock him about all things GT Holds dear. One particularly harsh insult is the "You're about as stylish as a Brazillian Football Player!!"* *Meanwhile RD Awaits, his evil plan is coming to fruition...* [ April 27, 2004, 12:57: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ] |
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Cipher shimmers back into the scene. Hmmmm... looks like the coast is clear. Let's see now... A little catsup... aah, some horseradish...
And after washing a rather dirty eggwhisk that happened to be laying around, whips up a quick batch of cocktail sauce. Indeed, enough of the shrimp have been gathered and boiled to produce enough complimentary shrimp cocktail for what remain of the patrons. I think we've all had entirely enough of that coffee, Taz. Too much caffeine and suddenly we're all insulting each other's haberdashers. Would it be improper to serve ale with these shrimp? [ April 28, 2004, 03:03: Message edited by: Cipher7071 ] |
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Do the troubles and tribulations of a cantina owner (not sure I still own it) and despotic violent feline tyrant never end?
Renegade, you see this armoured plated fiery eggwhisk of doom that I am revving up? you see the door? you have two seconds to get through it before I "whisk" you up and as I am touching cloth, drop a log down your neck (after the head has been removed). Power Man, you need psychriatric help. No one can cook a mongoose, they just dont taste good and the armour and scimitars tend to put people off. Do I own the cantina? if not, who does? I need a lie down, a stiff drink and possibly a good back massage (if I can find an FBW). Cipher, have a beer with those shrimp. They were borrowed from Dogscoff and weren't much cop anyhow. They were defeated by a were-gerbil with a jar of marie-rose sauce |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
The air shimmers above the cantina and once again Power Man's face appears. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif
GT you say I need psychriatric help You are the one that needs to see a shrink and FAST. I try to improve this forum with references to Chaucer and Louis Carroll and some, I think, rather nice pun's and all you do is fill the place with gore and "drop a log" down people's chopped off heads !! As far as the Mongooses go I did say the cobras were special with SSuper CATalytic Venom. This caused the armor itself to burst into flame to cook the mongooses. I have not tried eating them so I don't know how they taste. But I see that Berry has been eating a lot of them. He cracks the armor like a shrimp and puts a lot of CATsup on them. He uses the scimitars as a tooth pick to get the Last bits out of the armor and from between his teeth. Yes you do need to lie down, but with a physiatrist. Maybe he can shrink your FAT HEAD. With that Last CATcall I disappear. Once again TA TA…. [ April 28, 2004, 16:11: Message edited by: Power Man ] |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
I have no idea who owns the cantina... Apparently I do according to rags. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif
So i'll give you all the shares i own to this cantina for a once only price. You blow this place up and Make Sure Rags is here when it does http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
Raging Deadstar, sounds like a good option but you know Rags is like haemmorroids. However much you try to get rid of them, they just keep on itching and coming back.
Power Man, not sure I like the fat head remark, but that coming from a resident of Seattle who claims to know Chaucer and Carroll, I will take with a pinch of salt. Tried psychiatry - it doesn't work and I think I gave the therapist more problems than he could cure on me! If I were sane, do you think I would be posting on this thread. As to the gore, I think it was you lot wanting a war, and of course I was only happy to deliver |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
Watching the pathetic sight of Growltigger brandishing an eggbeater like it was a sword, Renegade can't help himself. Falling to his knees, he bursts out in hysterical laughter, and watches as Growltigger comes at him with the beaters.
"Ahhhhhh.......Ooooooo.......STOP THAT!! That tickles!!" As the eggbeater's vibrate against his exposed skin, Renegade laughs and laughs, exhausting himself, and frustrating the furry feline to no end. |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
mac wakes up in the cantina infirmry surrounded by Liz Hurly clones who are just fawning all over him , ooohhhing and aahhhing... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif man whoever knocked me out, I must say I thank you much.. as he lays back he is given a rub down by the LH clones, aahh,, this is the life he mutters, He looks for his computer to send a msg to GT, but he can't seem to find it... hmmmm, must still be at my table.....oh well,.... he reclines back and enjoys the ministrations be showered on him...... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif
just some ideas Mac |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
I envy mac his Liz Hurly clones, but then, their ministrations would likely go to waste on this nickel plated hide. I wonder if those clones might happen to have a buffer and some auto wax handy.
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Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
The wizen old one walks into the cantina and notices how quiet it is in the place. he sees the dust on the tables and dance floor, mostly empty, it sure is depressing he mumbles, where is everyone? Gt, The Gryphin, and all the rest... oh well, he strolls over to his table, sits down, and thinks, man was I in the hospital that long?? He calls over a FBW and orders his usual, scrambled eggs, bacon, rye toast, hash browns and a brewski, as he waits he opens up his newest research thesis and starts to look it over....
just some ideas Mac |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
Egad. Multiple Posts.
[ May 20, 2004, 03:52: Message edited by: Cipher7071 ] |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
How did I do this?
[ May 20, 2004, 03:53: Message edited by: Cipher7071 ] |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
The breeze whistles through the cantina. It's official now. I have become a moron.
[ May 20, 2004, 03:55: Message edited by: Cipher7071 ] |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
Alas. The latest episode seems to have ended in a reduction to barbarism. Ironic that a battle in cyber-space should terminate with the use of pikes and halberds ... all over someone's choice in women. Some things never change. Ah well. The old boy in the corner has returned to mumbling over his books. Perhaps I shall do so as well. There's no conversing with him in this state. Even I have been reduced to dotage. Whatever became of Sam?
[ May 20, 2004, 03:58: Message edited by: Cipher7071 ] |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
You're right Mac, mac,..mac,..mac,.. The Cantina is really quiet,..quiet,..quiet,..quiet,.. In fact just listen to the echo bounce off the walls,..walls,..walls,..walls,..
Oh well,..well,..well,..well,.. I'm getting used to the silence,..silence,..silence,..silence,.. It reminds me of the good 'ol #se4 chat room,..room,..room,..room,.. where all the lurkers hang out,..out,..out,..out,.. Cheers!,..Cheers!,..Cheers!,..Cheers!,.. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
*A Disembodied voice echoes through the cantina*
BOOOOORRRRRRRRRIIINNNGGGG! *Finding it Ammusing he waits for everyone to settle down again* NNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
The old one looks up from his research papers after he hears what sounds like talking, something like Mac...mac...mac.... and others. He looks around only sees David E. G. and RD, he waves at them and has a FBW take over a few brewskis to their tables, he then goes back to reading his papers.....
just some ideas mac [ May 20, 2004, 19:16: Message edited by: mac5732 ] |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
*RD Wonders how in the world he is going to be able to drink Mac's generous gift when he is light years away...*
Oh well, better make an appearence... *RD Teleports back into the Cantina, and when no-one is looking switches the brewski for something less alcoholic* "Cheers" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif |
Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
well, this place has been quiet to long http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif so Bump in the night.... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif
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Re: Forum Chat Bar & Grill
I know what you mean Mac, I too miss the good 'ol Cantina.
Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif Maybe if you changed the name of this thread to something like "The NEW Cantina Revival Chat Bar and Grill" things might pick up. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif [ June 21, 2004, 10:47: Message edited by: David E. Gervais ] |
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