Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

You are not the only one with PC troubles - my notebook is having some issues and I was relying on it to play whilst on my summer holiday (that begins tomorrow).

I hope to be able to resolve the problem before I head south but it may prove a largish barrier to me remaining a participant in the game.

I have (hopefully) revived C'tis somewhat - gem income has been improved somewhat and research refocussed (to allow the use of aforementioned gems).

I also spent a HUGE amount of gold and may have ordered Chinese takeaway in all the excitement.

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

:shock:

Violation!

Atlantis, we had a NAP-3. What's this attack? I'm very surprised...

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Oh no, hundreds of abysians have been violated by tentacled creatures from the deeps!

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

I am afraid my computer problem is intractable - won't be able to get a turn in for a week.

Sorry guys ....

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Tifone: That was completely not my fault. When somebody gets lost in time and space, they usually don't find their way back to the exact place they left... On the other hand it really says something about your PD if it can be beat by one silly human in a blue robe. I apologize for the trouble he caused, but if he can make it back underwater in one piece, I'll compensate you with a Dwarven Hammer free of charge.

Digress: If you like, we can look for a temporary sub for you while you're working on that. Maybe Santa will bring you a new computer for Christmas?

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Are we going to put off hosting to give Digress a chance to sort his computer out?

It's close enough to Christmas that an extended break wouldn't distress me - family visits etc. are looming close above me already.

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

@ Starshine: Eheh, he was actually very lucky to mind hunt the only commander :D

We'll not attack him, I hope you'll be able to get him back. If you need to build a lab in our territory to teleport him back in the water, we'll refund you 50% of the lab when your mage is safe and we retake the province. Otherwise you can just try to make him fight his way (sea's not far) but as you know I can't reduce the PD...

-

I am for a delay for Digress too. After all the Xmas/Chanuka/winter solstice/everything else holidays are approaching so we could just wish best festivities/holidays each other and decide to meet again on Jan '09.
I'll be on holiday (unable to play) from 28 to 2 :)

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

I need a delay until monday.

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Done

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Here's a look a Crew Chief's humor:
After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction.

The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers.

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor.

P: = The problem logged by the pilot.
S: = The solution and action taken by the engineers.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

Some of these really crack me up..:lol

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

I am back - tanned and even more good looking than a week ago. Its amazing what sunshine, over eating and industrial quantities of alcohol can do to ones looks.

It looks like I haven't missed anything but I have neglected to work on my comedy routines. My neighbours will have to wait for me to attack to see said routines :)

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Going away and coming back on january 2nd!! Plz delay? :) Cya guys!! Best wishes for the new year! :cheers:

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Heh, search goggle with this, case sensitive: "French military victory's" then follow the path. Its funny. :D

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

> If you can read the whole story without tears of laughter running
> down your cheeks then there's no hope for you.
>
> NOTE Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to
> the first two judges, the reaction of the third is even better. For
> those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is.
> They actually have a Chili cook-off about the time the rodeo comes
> to town. It takes up a major portion of the parking lot at the
> Astrodome.
>
> The notes are from an inexperienced chili taster named Frank, who
> was visiting Texas from the East Coast
>
> Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a
> chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last
> moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table
> asking directions to the Budweiser truck, when the call came in. I
> was assured by the ot her two judges (Native Texans) that the chili
> wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have
> free beer during the tasting, so I accepted."
>
> Here are the scorecards from the event
>
> Chili # 1 Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili
>
> Judge # 1 A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
> Judge # 2 Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
> Judge # 3 (Frank) Holy ****, what the hell is this stuff? You
> could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to
> put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are
> crazy.
>
> Chili # 2 Arthur's Afterburner Chili
>
> Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
> Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken
> seriously.
> Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure
> what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two
> people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to
> rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.
>
> Chili # 3 Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili
>
> Judge # 1 - Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Needs more beans.
> Judge # 2 -- A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers
> Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose
> feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine
> by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on
> the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm
> getting ****-faced from all of the beer.
>
> Chili # 4 Bubba's Black Magic
>
> Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
> Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for
> fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
> Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was
> unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally,
> the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-
> pound lady is starting to look HOT-just like this nuclear waste I'm
> eating. Is chili an aphrodisiac?
>
> Chili # 5 Linda's Legal Lip Remover
>
> Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground,
> adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
> Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato.
> Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
> Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead
> and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind
> me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told
> her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my
> tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the
> pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me
> off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those
> rednecks.
>
> Chili # 6 Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety
>
> Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance
> of spices and peppers.
> Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and
> garlic. Superb.
> Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with
> gaseous, sulfuric flames. I **** myself when I farted and I'm
> worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to
> stand behind me except that Sally. She must be kinkier than I
> thought. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my *** with a
> snow cone.
>
> Chili # 7 Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili
>
> Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned
> peppers.
> Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can
> of chili peppers at the last moment. I should take note that I am
> worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as
> he is cursing uncontrollably.
> Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and
> I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the
world
> sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with
> chili which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of
> lava like **** to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy,
> they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, its

> too painful. Screw it, I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I
> need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.
>
> Chili #8 Tommy's Toenail Curling Chili
>
> Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not
> too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
> Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither
> mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3
> passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of
> himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor dude, wonder how
> he'd have reacted to really hot chili?
>:D

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Lol, funny one. :p Makes me want to come in USA another time, taste this thing :D

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Hilarious

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Is it just me, or is the delay on this game getting a bit silly? We've been waiting for BL to submit a turn for 3 weeks now.

While I was more than happy to have a break over Christmas, we're definitely past the festive season now (the displays of Easter eggs in supermarkets bear mute witness to this). It's been 9 days since the last requested delay, which is surely enough time to get a turn seen to...

I'm feeling a little frustrated, as you might be able to tell. There have been a lot of postponements on this turn, without very much public explanation. Has Ylvali just disappeared off the face of the earth, or just from the forums? If the latter, I'd appreciate knowing what's going on, and if the former then I'd like to suggest posting for a sub rather than another series of unexpained delays.

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

I wanted to give him a little longer to send in his turn as I'm not sure what happened to him. If he stales this turn though, he has no more excuse and we'll look for a sub for him.

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

So, it looks like T'ien Ch'i are a nation of forgers! We should have known anyone capable of thinking bits of paper are money would be untrustworthy.

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Unfortunatly forging items is tremendously less fun than it used to be if your mages dont have any path higher than 2.

Add to that the fact that I just drowned my empowered(+3) W6 mage by removing his amulet of breathing while he was underwater... I was just *not* paying attention.

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Can't you redo the turn from the start? =)

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Anyone interested in dispeling the forge should send astral pearls to me (anyone who thinks they can do it better than me post here for goodness sake) Since the hordes of Tien Chi are crushing my field armies I might as well go down biting.
NB in 4-5 turns sending pearls to me might be an unsafe investment (The ermorian gold piece is trading at 1000 for a bandar log makarta) So if you want this dispel cast then send them quick.

Atlantis, Tien Chi... this is your cue to start racheting up the beatings!

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Instead you could send the gems to me along with a receipe of what I should make of them. Free of charge.

Now that is a service, isnt it?

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Bandar Log was doomed, I set them AI and went on a summoning spree. You may now return to your regularly scheduled program.

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

So no one wants the forge down? Fair enough, no skin off my back. We're getting crushed with or without the forge...

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

The Bandar Mafia appear to have been taken over by a strange intelligence from the Outer Void. Machakan scouts report that instead of the normal Bander vocabulary of up to 30 words, they are now down to just 'ook' and 'eek'. Sentence length is invariably 8 words among the Marketa, 16 words among Vanara and Bandar, and an unwieldy 32 words among the White Ones. Yaksha and their relatives communicate in strange whistling and graunching noises, but cannot begin conversation without shaking hands first.

The Machakan high command is not sure what all this signifies, and all our translation sorcerers can make from the battle chants of the monkey hordes is something about 'adding our individuality to the collective'.

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

The sages of ermor have decided it is better to die in bed choking on phlegm than on the battlefield.
If they have antagonised anyone who wasn't already at war with them then good. Ermor hopes it will be remembered when two years when those clever priests and mages throwing up all over the place, this was a much better use of astral pearls than dispelling Tein chi's global :D
Oh and I'm not gone yet I vow to play at a level just below that of the AI until I am truly defeated... perhaps I'll find another way to annoy everyone...

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

The strange monkey zombie disease is spreading rapidly. Who would have thought monkey bites would be so dangerous? The entirety of Abysia now suffers from the problem.

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Actually Abysia's enlightened religious government has been overthrown by the Aristocratic Insurrection (A.I.) which has now taken control. Of course they care only for honours money and all those material and superficial things so their battlefield tactics will suck - have fun with our territories :D

Jokes aside, thanks for the beautiful game and the laughs guys. I've learned and enjoyed a lot. Let me know who wins this!! :cool:

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

I'll say this for the AI - it's very brave. Flamegasm's prophet stood bravely while his army fled around him, and took on an undead monstrosity toe to toe - briefly. Flamegasm itself was last seen shouting "10101010111100001010101000101010!" and engaging in a headbutting contest with a large rock. Brave for certain, intelligent... perhaps not.

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Hah was hoping for a hidden binary message but no such luck.. Although at second glance it looks like some sort of winged insect... perhaps there is more to this than meets the eye.

ªðª*

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Does anyone else thin Tien Chi is getting a little too powerful? Not that I care, I'm down to two provinces and my little bag of tricks is running down somewhat, and when I say this keep in mind that it wasn't up to much to start with.

So this is just to say, I'm only one mildy annoying trick away from going kapput. And you guys should really think about getting your act together agaisnt the guy with (I assume) all the artifacts and arcane nexus... just a suggestion, the first person to declare their enmity to Tien Chi gets a small cache of gems and a few rather naff magic items! Just looking to make the game more interesting.

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

BTW T'ien Ch'i, how did the equipped demonbred I sent to your province with the temple in my last turn do? Did he manage to kill someone at least? I don't think he was able to get the province by himself, but as I didn't have the chance to see how he did, I'm curious :smirk:

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Ahem... I did not notice something abnormal-I'm loosing a few provinces to atlantis' SCs at the moment.

Other than that everythings fine;)

Actually... its a lot better than in every single other MP game I played.

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Shall we roll back to the previous turn?

Who is admin right now btw?

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

I don't know - not me, that's for sure.

I'm in favour of a rollback too.

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

C'tis appears to be staling out, which is a bit of a pain.

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

That is definitly a pity - maybe we should search for a replacement?

Btw, Gregstorm, that was not nice. And I'm kind of pissed about the dozillians of scouts.

Maybe I need to send some *cough* scouts too;)

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Hi everyone - staling has been something of an issue. Especially sucks when you spend ages prepping things (defensively - all defense in the lands of C'tis) and then stale, again, and again and again.

My apologies. If we could stretch hosting times out a touch I might do a little better - any suggestions as to how C'tis can compete with the two big boys would be gratefully received.

Sorry for the repeated stales.

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Hmm - I thought C'tis was one of the two big boys. You've had the edge on me in provinces, forts, research, income, dominion and army for pretty much the whole game.

Ossa, 3 scouts is hardly a dozillion. I was a little surprised that my attempt to steal the Nexus went off successfully, but to my mind the alternative to trying to take it off you was basically 'lube up and bend over'.

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Greg - what do you think - should I redo my orders?

At the moment I'm doing an all-out attack on you in retalation. I just felt angered by loosing my nexus and being first in allmost all graphs discontend breeds aggression:/

Should we go for the final war or spend more time building up?

I actually like this game immensely, I dont wanna end it now.

Who's admin btw? I'd extend hosting time if Ctis has more of a chance to continue then!

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Well, if C'tis can't continue then I'll very likely lose any final war without really doing you much damage. You had the Nexus for ages, and that adds up to a lot of Wishing.

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

good - then I'll rdo my orders and wont attack. But I'll try to get my nexus up again;)

ANd we need to find out what our admin password is to allow Ctis to continue

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

My apologies for the continued staling - I get the turn largely done and fail to get the damn thing in. Have two sick children keeping life "interesting" on the home front at present.

Will get the next turn in and then will head off on holiday for a couple of days. If you guys want to find a permanent sub, temp. sub or delay hosting for a while a would happy.

All the stales have hurt C'tis rather horribly - the excellence of Marshmasters can't cover for everything, nor can a criminal lack of forge activity.

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Whereas of course Machaka hasn't been horribly hurt by anything other than seraphs, Pazuzu, Air Queens, invading armies...

Ah well :)

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Well my staling hasn't helped Machaka very much - having dealt C'tis out of the game.

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Well, never mind eh? Emerging triumphantly from a haze of staling would be pretty good about now.

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

My computers gone a bit funny. If I have time I'll turn myself AI. If not then its up to you wether to leave me to stale or turn me AI if you don't want me to slow your turns down. Its been a good game, and I'm sorry to leave, I enjoyed the last, last last, stands :D

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

I need a 72 hour delay in hosting. Will be away for a couple of days. Will try and get current turn in but will need a delay after that point. I will try to chase down an ex-admin with the password to make the magic happen but can't guarantee that I will be able to do so. I am at work finishing something off at the moment and then have to go home and pack the car for an AM start.

cheers.

Re: Joker: new game, new theme, HA Ha ha
 

Good luck finding an admin. I don't know who the admin is currently...

Nice Well, by the way.