Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
 

Mead? Did someone say mead?

A shabby lump in the corner (that everyone had assumed was a pile of old barmats) stirs to life. It's dogscoff- he allows his mug to be filled.

"Can't have mead without boar."

*dogscoff drags a squealing boar from under the table and slaughters it. Then he stuffs an apple in its mouth and places it on a skewer above a freshly-ignited pile of furniture.

Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
 

Hmmmm, this is not good. I go away for three weeks, come back from holiday, and find that the only amusing things to happen in the cantina is an assault of killer bee's, and the laughable thought that Rollo could get anywhere near Famke Jansen..

GT takes a large club, walks over to Rollo, takes off his little viking helmet and proceeds to repeatedly whack the hirsute German over the noggin shouting "Famke is mine, she is mine, get your nasty Teutonic hands off her, she is mine"

Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
 

*dogscoff is torn. Should he come to Rollo's aid in a gesture of norse solidarity, or assist his old friend/business partner/employer/arch-nemesis Growltigga?

He decides to compromise, and beats the both of them across the skull with a steaming, half-eaten leg of roast boar.

[ September 22, 2003, 11:45: Message edited by: dogscoff ]

Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
 

As Rollo is crashing through the walls of the cantina and hurled outside, only three words can be heard:
"Ahl be bakk!"

[ September 22, 2003, 13:39: Message edited by: Rollo ]

Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
 

Hee hee, you may well be Rollo but I have just loaded my super new food fighting projectile hand cannon with a magazine of armour piercing high velocity heat seeking bratwursts!!

You may be back, but you will be going through that wall again shortly thereafter

Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
 

the old wize one, sitting at his favorite table, indulging in his favorite cuisine, notices the food fight going on among the various members, hmm, looks interesting he remarks.. he pushes his call button and a LH clone mozies over and he places his request. The LH clone leaves and goes into a back room behind the bar.....

Shortly thereafter, out from various hidden recesses within the cantina's walls, suspicious looking wide muzzles protrude upon the scene of mayhem within the precincts of the establishment.

A whooooooshhhhhhinnnngggg sound emits thru the attmosphere and each of those menacing mancinations erupts with cream pies and large trouts, indulating GT, Rollo (before he got to the door), dogscoff and the rest of the members present in a gooey, sticky and smelly mundane of pies and large trouts. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

a relaxing Mac http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...s/rolleyes.gif

Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
 

Erax peeks out from behind Rollo's mead barrel... "Uh oh, the Boss is back, better straighten everything up before he gets REALLY mad." He pulls out a Bar Trek communicator and hurriedly mutters something into it.

A few minutes later, the doors in the back of the Cantina open and a horde of Salma Hayek, Britney Spears, Liv Tyler, Liz Hurley and Kristanna clones dressed in french-maid costumes hurries out and begins to clean, dust and straighten everything up.

"Don't forget the Boss", Erax calls out while sampling Rollo's mead...

Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
 

Ooo, cream pie fight !

Erax grabs a passing Britney clone with his free hand. "Hey Mac, be a good fellow and point the cream pie gun this way, lemon-flavored please !"

Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
 

Erax, your wish is my command http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Old Mac gives the order to a LH clone and all the barrels in the wall point at poor or Erax, wwhhooooooosh

Erax is pelted with creamy Lemon cream pies from head to toe.... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

mac

Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
 

Erax and the Britney clone fall to the floor under a mountain of lemon-flavored cream.
Just before they are completely buried, his voice calls out :

"I owe you one Maaaaccccc."

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
 

Growltigga, slightly concussed and confused by repeated porcine assaults on his head by Dogscoff, drops his club and reaches for his red hot poker hand cannon, now cunningly modified to assist in the food fight by projecting high powered bLasts of appropriate condimnents for the said pork dish...

"OK Dogscoff, you want traditional, you have got traditional" a jet of apple sauce is shot into Dogscoff's face...

"You want Greek, you have got Greek", a second bLast of tzatziki hits the smelly Scoffo in the jaw,

"You want fusion, you have got fusion", a torrent of lemon grass scented black bean and ginger dressing blitzs the sticky Scoffo to the floor...

"Oh, and just for our teutonic chum, you want German, you get German" - Rollo is hit in the chin by a 5 kilo lump of semi digested sauerkraut and is catapulted through the wall of the cantina...

"Now, Brussel sprouts go nicely with pork" says the great kt as he attaches a 400 sprout hopper to the bottom of the cannon

Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
 

Erax, I'm happy to see you enjoying yourself in pie cuisine http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif as Mac gives the order for more lemon cream pies to obsecure Erax's body frame from sight with more sticky, gooey, pies, whoossssssshhh

OT. GT, if you have the viking invasion for medevil, they have a Napoleon mod out for the game, everything is changed to the Napoleonic era, weapons, uniforms, guns, etc. you might want to ck it out

just some ideas Mac

Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
 

Growltigga waves a hand at Mac to acknowledge that he does indeed have the Viking invasion expansion pack for Mediaval, thinks it is very good but is still wrapped up in an epic 30 year struggle against the wretched Turks. I am naturally playing the Byzantines (the Roman empire will never die) and the one problem with the expanded game is that the bloody crusades never seem to happen.

I dunno, you spend 10 years fighting savage battles in Lesser Armenia and Rum against the foul Seljuk horde (despoilers of churches, villages, small boys and goats), you are at an impasse, Pope Urban launches a cry for a few crusades to smite the infidel, you think "yippee, when the crusade bashes at the Turks, I shall launch a cunning assault against the knacked Seljuk legions and shall verily give them a good kicking" and do the crusades ever get launched?? no they dont, they are obviously too worried about the colour of the King of France's underwear, bloody Catholics...

Anyway, Rome: Total War, looks amazing, we have a TV show just started here utilising the game engine. The game looks absolutely marvellous and I cannot wait until April next year for that one...

Back to the cantina, GT loads his special "Duffer Seeking Venison and Herbs Gamey Sausage" into the hand cannon, aims it at Mac and launches... the sausage flies into the distance, loops round and hits the old timer right in the left ear....

Pulling out his trusty "Anti-South American Grilled Chicken Fajitas", GT loads that into the cannon and looks around for old Erax...

I go away for 3 weeks and that damn Brazilian lets the joint get into chapter 11! Never trust a Latin unless their names are Caesar or Shakira

Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
 

Erax emerges from the back of the Cantina, after a quick shower to get rid of Mac's cream pies...

"Chapter 11 ? Isn't that the one in which Frodo and friends get chased out of Moria ?" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

His mood for humor quickly evaporates as he sees that GT means business.

"Urk ! I mean, calm down Boss, here, have some of Rolo's mead, I think he left it here as a gift for you, just sit right there while the FBWs in maid outfits clean you off. I'll be with you soon, I have to take apart Mac's pieguns and troutguns."

Erax then vanishes somewhere behind the bar where he proceeds to look as busy and hardworking as possible.

Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
 

Mac calls over serveral LH clones and they begin prying the sausage out of his ear with prybars and giant tweezers.... Oucchhhhhh, ugh, after 15 minutes or so, the large meat monstrosity is finally removed from the lobes of the wizen old one. Mac notices GT over near Erax and firing sometype of malicious intensifying malignant weapon. The illustrious mental giant moves over to the wall behind him and presses a button, "POP" a secret door opens, Mac reaches inside and removes what appears to be a gas mask, puts it on then pulls out a multi barrelled constraption along with a large basket. Mac pours the contents into the metal monster, sights on old GT, pushes a button and "Poof, Poof.... and GT is swatted, knocked off his feat and buried under huge masses of large Trout from his Fyron lip smacking Trout cannon.... Mac smiles and waves at GT, who at this time is emitting a horrendous type of essance. (the trout were 2 weeks old http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif )

GT watch for the horde if your playing Byzintine's

a wiley old Mac http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
 

Gt, suffering under a bombardment of putrid over-aged piscine thingies, pulls out his trusty tennis racket and proceeds to bat them off until the torrent stops coming.

Unfortunately, his tennis racket is now covered in smelly old fish entrails, and Erax is suitable upset as it is stuffed down the back of his troUsers...

This means war you old fart, says the mighty kat, he pulls out the hand cannon and attaches a hopper full of pickled eggs, pickled walnuts, pickled sheepballs and taramasalata, the LH clones dive for cover as the wretched spindle shaked old tosspot is bLasted into a morass of pink, picled and slightly fishy mess...

Gt walks over to the geriatic pile of puss and asks "when does the horde arrive and where then you old sod, I havn't seen the horde yet"

Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
 

The researchist smiles at GT as that entity has brought him some pickled cuisine for his gullet. As the cagey old youngster begins to fill his inniards, he replies to GT's question of the horde, look east el pussy kat, look east... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif they usually appear when you least expect it...

As the wiley one continues to indulge in a repast of pickled estacy, a sharp rumbling begins to make itself heard from within the old one's anatamy, "oh oh, he mumbles to himself, he looks and smiles at the Golden Kat standing before him and with his left hand places his gas mask back upon his wizened countenance....... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

just some ideas

[ September 25, 2003, 03:04: Message edited by: mac5732 ]

Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
 

Looking for a spot of potted meat and an ale, The Teal Avenger walks thtough the door of the oddly-named establishment.

Perhaps this was not the best night to wear the dress teals.

At least it smells good. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
 

For your enjoyment:
http://www.thrudthebarbarian.com/Aliens.html

And to deter anyone who thought we needed a plot around here...

Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
 

Classic "Thrud" that...

Thanks Mac, the bloody horde has just turned up in Georgia and Khazak. Just what I needed on my left flank. Thanks a lot you miserable old [insert string of expletives of choice] so-and-so, thanks a bundle, I bet you had something to do with it too.. snick'n frakk'n rick'n rakk'n

Right, I am right royally narked. GT reloads the red hot poker hand cannon with its rightful steaming ammunition and looks around. Hmmm, Teal Avenger is new blood, bend over sonny and let uncle Growltigger show you a hot time...

Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
 

* minipol enters the cantina and shows off his newly acquired barbar glasses *

wiiieeeee. a special promotion here: buy a case of 24 barbars and you get 2 of the special glasses for free. i have some drinking to do.
lalalala http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
 

GT, Glad to be of help, better that the horde is bugging your game and not mine http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif (so far), did you see my post that there is a Napoleonic Game Mod for Medevil? Its all of the napoleonic era with all the trimmings. Its all based on the Medevil game system and is found in their mod section.

Old Mac watches as GT mounts his raging Thermo Nucular genetic modified war elephant and takes off after the Teal Avenger... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

just some ideas Mac

Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
 

Stunned by the warm reception, the Teal Avenger waits a second too long before pulling the small furry rodent out of his pocket. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

SPLUT!

...Looks like another uniform ruined.

Oh Barkeep, A glass of your cheapest for myself and the incontinent oldster over there.

Elephants may never forget, but they just never learn either. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...s/confused.gif

Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
 

A dry wind blows through the empty shell of the cantina.. a couple of tumbleweeds tumble by....

The cantina has obviously seen better times, the paint is cracking, the ullage trays are overflowing, food scraps are rotting on tables, and the Last of the FBW's has handed in her notice and boarded a bus to more "tip condusive" climes....

Even the Byzantine horde of killer mongooses have decamped to happier places, vowing to keep up their eternal struggle against Dogscoff's evil horde of Seljuk Turks...

All is quiet, all is still, the ghostly wind whistles through the tattered banners and streamers which used to adorn this happy place...

A forlorn roar from the weed encrusted carpark signals that Barry the T-Rex has decided to leave for an acting career as a stunt rex in Jurassic Park 15.

The only movement (other than the tumbleweeds) in the cantina is the large, tuxedo clad tiger sitting at the bar, nursing his Last bottle of Spitfire, and filling out the various Chapter 11 forms to hand to his lawyer..

He gets up, takes a Last look round the cantina, goes up to the large doors, takes out a key, closes the doors and locks them. He looks at the key, throws it down the nearest drain, and walks off toward his waiting car. The car drives off, and the cantina is left deserted, an empty wreck of its old self, a shattered testament to the fun, intrigues and cartoon violence that used to go on there. Only the ghosts of the laughter, fun, genetically modifed squid and general naughtiness that used to go on there, are left. Only memories...

But then, maybe it is true, that the memories of a person or a place never fade, until such time as the ripples of their lifes or its effect cease to wash through us all..

Life is like a bowl
of rice pudding
fully rounded
but over, too soon

Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
 

Minipol walks over to the cantina.

He sees the lock on the door and then notices the sign: "Cantina closed due to lack of visitors. And the visitors that do came in, either brought their own beer or wrecked the place. Thanks for nothing, The Owner!"

Darn, i have to find me a new cantina.

* minipol walks off, carrying some beers in his left hand and a hammer in his right hand *

Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
 

After an extended absense from visiting the Cantina Ragnarok returns. As he slowly walks up towards the Cantina he can see some of the old regulars standing in front of the Cantina with their heads bowed and saying nothing. For the first time in history, the Cantina was quiet.

Making his way to the door, Ragnarok reads the sign saying that the Cantina is closed he then too joins in the quiet remembrance of the great times that had been had in this building. All the fine battles with the great RD. Giant Battle Gophers long for those days, but alas, those days are but history.

After standing at the doors for a little while Ragnarok turns around and begins to walk away, wishing he hadn't taken that extended leave for a better life, thinking that if he hadn't, maybe the Cantina would still be around. The good times enjoyed in this building would be but a memory. Ragnarok continues his walk away from the Cantina into the slowly setting sun. It was fun while it Lasted, he thinks to himself. The Cantina will be missed. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif

Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
 

Woundwort jumps off a rapidly-decelerating warp shuttle and walks up to the boarded-up facade of the Home Cantina.

"Good grief... Sancho wasn't pulling my leg. He's really done it."

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

Nothing to do but meditate in silence for awhile.

After an appropriate pause, Woundwort clears his throat and makes an announcement.

"Gentlemen and ladies... in memory of the long history and traditions of this fine establishment, I want to invite any and all who are interested to come to the Phong's Head in Starfury sector, where I will be holding a wake in honor of the original Cantina's sad passing."

Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
 

Rags, minipol, hang around for a short while,I have been saving one Last crate of super strength ale for a quiet cheeky half to say fare thee well to old times!

Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
 

The wizen old one walks up to the cantina and notices the lock on the door. He stares in disbelief. Tears begin to slowly edge their watery way down his facial torso. OH..... he wails to the world at large. Now what will we do for discussions and further research into forbidden areas... he laments.... The old one, walks to his rusted, well used, ShaNa destroyer, walks up the entrance way and is gone for several minutes. Suddenly he returns, walks over next to the cantina door, opens up a portable table and chair, connects his cell phone and orders his usual breakfast of bacon, scrambled eggs, hash browns, toast and several brewskis from one of the local restuarants. He sits back and begins to ponder this unsavory sight of a closed cantina....... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif

a sad Mac

Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
 

Having heard of the legendary Cantina from its counterpart in Starfury sector, Renegade walks along he sidewalk towards the location of the Canina. As he approaches the area, he notices an older man sitting before a boarded up door, eating a meal.

It can't be.

The legendary cantina can't be closed.

Not now, not when we all need a place to discuss, argue, create!!

Staring in disbelief, Renegade opens a communication to his ship, the Halitosis.

"Begin immediate research into mortgage law, and find out if there's anyone willing to spare a few credits to reverse this...this....atrocity. Put the word out that I can spare the few thousand credits I made off vaporizing that pirate ship a few days ago."

There must be something that can be done.

Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
 

Of course something can be done. I wouldn't be that incarnation of all that it is clever, expensive, evil and cunning if I wasn't a lawyer!

Watch this space, lock your refrigerators, hide your valuables and put your girlfriends in chastity belts

Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
 

... Erax hides in the former Cantina's basement, hoping everyone (but especially the Boss) has forgotten about him...

Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
 

Talking about "Da Boss" Erax, did he already pay you the wages from that Last 3 months that he still owes you?

Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
 

Hmmm, Erax hiding in the basement? maybe I can relaunch the cantina as an opportunity for rich businessmen to hunt people a la that awful Jean Claude Van Damme movie set in New Orleans..

I can see it now, discrete marketing to wealthy executives and professionals, bring your own rifle, and have the opportunity to hunt your very own Brazilian..

Gosh, the phone has not stopped ringing. "Yes Mr Gates, we can guarantee a great chase with old Erax in the basement, What's that? you want to use a high powered harpoon gun, and you want his wedding tackle preserved to hang on the wall of Microsoft House as a trophy? Not a problem for a small fee!"

Cheers Erax, I beleive you will rebuild my fortunes. Now if only we can clone you a few times for the head of General Motors

Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
 

Oops, I've been discovered ! Me and my big mouth.

Erax leaves a cardboard cutout of himself in the basement to fool Mr. Gates (can't be that hard) and attempts to leave via one of the Cantina's less known exits, wearing a Groucho Marx disguise.

Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
 

and the poor Brazilian walks straight into the rather rich bunch of rednecks who have paid a fortune to Growltigga to get to suit any latin american with facial hair...

Erax, you dont get to leave the cantina. All exits are watched and these clients of mine have paid an awful lot of money to get the right to cause you suffering and to stick your head on a wall!

Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
 

"LOOK !! IT'S ELVIS !!"

As the rednecks look behind them, Erax ducks back into the Cantina and starts building his defenses. The Cantina's innards are a maze of tunnels, fully explored by none, crammed with weird alien gadgets which have accumulated down there over time.

Send 'em in, Boss. Don't worry, you'll get your money, I won't hurt them.

Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
 

Erax, half of the cash they are paying me is based on a success fee. I therefore need to you to get bLasted into atoms to get that fee, but do me a favour and keep your head out of the firing line, as the lads want trophies and I get a further fee if your head is unscathed.

oh, and by the way, can you dress up as Ronaldo as some of the French businessmen are paying extra to shoot a Brazilian football player.

Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
 

Sadly, I do not look one bit like Ronaldo or any other Brazilian football player. And I played (back when I did play) as a goalie.

Don't worry about the success fees Boss, some of your clients will definitely think they got me. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Edit : Why would the French want to shoot Brazilian football players ? They beat us in 1998 and now have the right to mock us. I think the English and Germans would be more likely candidates.

[ October 28, 2003, 11:11: Message edited by: Erax ]

Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
 

The French just want to shoot everybody, and yes, Helmut Kohl has offered a hefty fee is he gets to smear you in German mustard, stuff all your orifices with sauerkraut and then get to beat you to death with a bratwurst, but I have directed him to speak to Mephisto on this as I think it is a bit weird!

As for the English, yes, all I will say is that I have a large shotgun loaded with szechuan pepper ready to be fired at you if all else fails.

By the way, a large contingent of Turks have also offerred hard cash to bLast you out of existence!

Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
 

Where on earth are Rags and RD and Taz when you need them!?

Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
 

Rags is walking towards the Cantina as he hears some comotion going on there. On his way there he bumps into Erax who is running away full speed, quick thinking by Rags leads to Ragnarok cuffing Erax to the Dreaded Dwelling Derelict Two Ton Devil Bunny who is walking with Ragnarok. Erax struggles to get free but the Bunny is too powerful for Erax. Ragnarok bust into the Cantina and looks into GTs eyes and exclaims: "I'm Baaacck.....Oh, and I brought a gift." Ragnarok then hands Erax to GT for whatever punishment is in store for him. Ragnarok finds a dusty bottle of vodka and drinks up while waiting for the action to begin.

Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
 

Thinking quickly, Erax clambers atop the bunny and calls out, "Hey GT, remeber 2002 ? Let me refresh your memory, Brazil 2, England 1 !!"

Growltigga can't contain his rage and lets out a hiss, showing his sabertoothed fangs. This is too much for the poor devil bunny, who takes off at top speed with Erax riding it, while Gt scrambles for his shotgun.

Erax begins to hum the Merry Melodies theme as random bLasts of Sczechuan pepper whizz by his head.

Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
 

The older distinguished gentleman who was sitting near the front cantina door, notices some activity inside the aforementioned establishment. Well, he mutters, seems there is still some life left in the old girl," as he gets up, packs up his table, throws the breakfast dishes on the ground, which shatter into thousands of sharp, pointed stilletos of pain (in front of the door, of course http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif He then walks carefully thru the door, looks around sees Rags, GT and Erax, saunders over to his favorite table in the cornor, dusts off all the dust and debris, sits down, and looks around for Taz or a FB to order a brewski or two.....

Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
 

..I walk into the Cantina and notice a strange crunching sound. I look down and see that I have been walking over shards. Oh well, Good thing I am wearing my steel soled shoes.

I see Mac over at one of the tables, "Hi Mac," I have a present for you,.. I just made a very special mug. It holds 3.14159.. Galons of brew. It apears to be magical, when you try to empty it, it just keeps on pouring.

Enjoy. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Cheers! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[ October 31, 2003, 11:30: Message edited by: David E. Gervais ]

Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
 

Hmmm, thinks the irate cat, not only do I seem to have grown some saberteeth to compliment my very own fangs, but I have this strange urge to find the nearest Brazilian and stick 3 feet of molten hot titanium up his backside.....

And anyway Erax, England thrashed the Brazilians at tidddlywinks you rotter...

As there is now a large giant bunny running round the derelict cantina, GT blows his whistle, and suddenly, the ground vibrates as a giant armour plated sabertoothed cyborg evil minded vicious nasty bastard genetically enhanced dino-ferret comes charging through the wall..

"Sid", for that is the ferret's name, "see that bunny, see that scrawny little Brazilian pillow-biter riding it?, kill the bunny, bring the Latin to me whilst I retrieve and activate my multi-melta super charged red hot poker shoulder mounted anti-backside missile launcher".

Oooh, we havn't had a chase for ages

Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
 

"I'm sorry, but I can't help you. I'm no longer a virgin."
"What, you mean some guy bested you in combat ?"
"Yes... technically."
"Technically ? What do you mean ?"
"Well, actually, it was, um... at tiddlywinks."
"Tiddlywinks !!??? Damn ! And I'm good at tiddlywinks, too !" (this is from the Discworld PC game).

Anyway, back to affairs at the Cantina... Erax is well on his way to the nearest horizon while Sid lags farther and farther behind (all that armour sure cuts down on his speed, hm ?). Soon he loses Sid and doubles back into a hidden Cantina exit, surprising a bunch of Frenchmen who were staking it out and expecting him to come out, not go in. Once in the tunnels, he grabs a hypertaser off a convenient shelf and zaps Bugz, bringing him to a halt (yes, now the bunny has a name).

Hmmm... time to distract the Boss and his clients ! Erax activates the first of his defenses, and releases a dozen Ronaldo clones, wearing the Brazilian team's uniform, into the Cantina and surrounding grounds.

BLast away Boss, bLast away.

Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
 

But our plucky Brazilian tinkerer forgot to note that old Bugz has been "nobbled" with a locator beacon..

Sid, slobbering at the mouth at hungry for rabbit flesh, burrows through the walls of the cantina and appears right behind of Erax.

However, Sid is expecting to murder a rabbit, and the sight of all those Ronaldo's with their buck teeth making him look like rodentia is sufficient to momentarily confuse the vicious ferret. He rapidly bites a couple of ronaldos in half, lunges at Erax, grabs him and proceeds back to the great sabertoothed feline, who is gentle toasting a large sharp pointy (yet rusty) spike in the furnace...

Meanwhile, the Frenchmen, having finally got through the barricade, catch sight of the remaining Ronaldos and proceed to let rip, all that can be heard are various Gallic cheers and the sound of yellow jersey splatting damply against the walls...

Hmm, says Tigga donning his marigold kitchen gloves, I have heard what those customs inspectors get up to and have adamn fine idea of how to show Erax the error of his nasty Brazilian ways!

Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
 

As minipol left the cantina for the Last time not so long ago, he went in search of a replacement cantina.
He didn't find any cantina with the same athmosphere, beer and yeah, let's not forget the crazy sabertooth running the joint and his little slave Erax.
Man, those where the days. Feeling nostalgic, minipol walks towards the catina.
*** BAAAAM ***
Wuh? As minipol falls down, he sees a giant bunny racing by with a person on top...
The fall broke his westmalle beer. Great now i'll have to order the house beer. Minipol vaguely remembers the bartender saying something about "never tasted the house beer". Minipol sees some light in the catina! Great. He enters...

[ October 31, 2003, 12:38: Message edited by: minipol ]

Re: Ye Olde Phong\'s Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth
 

David E. G. Tks, what a great gift, believe me, it will be put to a most excellent use, the research into just seeing if it will ever go empty is most gratifying http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif I sincerely thank you.

Mac reclines back on his favorite chair and begins sipping out of his new brewski mug and the unlimited liquid refreshment found within, and watches the chase that is apparantly beginning to unwind within the confines of the cantina, ahhhhh,

100 bottles of beer on the wall
l00 bottles of beer...
if one would happen to fall
99 bottles of beer on the wall....

a very refreshed (at least for now http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif Mac