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Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Taz quickly grabs the 300th Cantina post...and whirls on over to David's thread to see what I'm doing!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif
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Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
OK, Episode 2 closes with thumping good music, pictures of the TSSS Phong's Head zooming past the screen, and the occassional still shot of Captain Jean Luc looking heroic, photon torpedoes hitting the klingon ship, Kamog stuffed in the brig with jawas, S'Katchoo doing the hokey kokey with a bunch of ponces, a still from the Captain's video, more pictures of Jena Luc looking heroic and the like.
OK, episode 2 was a bit of a minger. What are we doing for episode 3? we need something with a bit more action, a more pazzazz and joi de vivre Any (sensible) ideas |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
I still vote for S'Katchoo's Brain.
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Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
How about the oen were the DS9 folks went back in time to the Tribble episode in the Old Star Trek. We would have to "behave" ourselves as to not contaminate the time line. RD could be the villian trying to kill of Kirk and mess up the time line.
And I would get to try out to Real "Tribble Wings" made with real Tribbles. UMMM Tribble wings, ALGGGGGG . Drool slobber slobber..... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
After remembering just how bad the original episode was, S'Katchoo's brain clinches it.
Here's the synopsis (Couldn't find a script). |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Cue opening credits, sights of the TSSS Phong's Head shooting through space and even more heroic pictures of the intrepid crew of this galactic marvel...
The episode banner pops up onto the screen, "THE QUEST FOR S'KATCHOO's BRAIN" Camera pans back to a space view of the TSSS Phong's Head. The camera zooms in through the viewport to the main bridge, where Captain Jean Luc Le Grand Chat is dictating a message to Starfleet about the recent battle with the Klingon cruiser The TSSS Phong's Head is on a routine mission to monitor the methane clouds of Fart Point. All is calm and our brave, heroic and extremely sexy captain decides to have a cup of tea in his ready room. All is peaceful on the bridge of the TSSS Phong's Head, with all the crew happily getting on with their tasks, even the fey Mr S'Katchoo, who has recovered from his "Village People-esque" experiences with the minger crew and is busy at his science station... The captain is happily imbibing his cup of tea, and looking at a well thumbed copy of the May "Hot Federation Babes"...He is astonished to look onto his view screen into the bridge when a beautiful young woman beams onto the bridge.... The Captain is staggered to see some fresh young blart on the ship, and rushes onto the bridge in, ahemm, anticipation of showing her his favourite holodeck programme involving the marmite, ball bearings, prohpylactic, swarfega and small labrador called Barney... Without a word, the cute bird touches a band on her wrist and everyone is rendered unconscious, including our heroic captain. A few minutes later, Captain Jean Luc awakes, as does Mr Power Man and the rest of the bridge crew. "Hey, where has that wretched ponce Mr S'Katchoo gone, if he has stolen another shuttle craft and is doing his saturday night fever impression in a nebula somewhere, I swear I will phaser the bugger" shouts Jean Luc "Doctor Geo to the Captain" squarks the intercom, "dammit, Captain, I'm a doctor not a cavity reconstruction specialist, get your furry backside down here to sickbay The Captain goes rushing down to sickbay, Mr S'Katchoo's body lies on a diagnostic table, on full life support. Doctor Geo explains that his brain is gone ... miraculously removed with some technology that the doctor has never seen before. Every nerve was sealed and there was no blood lost. However, Geo tells the Captain that the downside is that if the mincing tart's brain isn't returned to his body within 24 hours, Mr S'Katchoo will die... Dammit Captain, I am a doctor, not a plot writer... Hmmm thinks the Captain, S'Katchoo will snuff it if we dont get his brain back in 24 hours?? tempting, it is sooo tempting not to try it! PS note to self, go down to ten forward and check that Taz/Guinan hasn't come up with a new meaty dip for the tribble wings [ June 02, 2003, 18:10: Message edited by: Captain Jean Luc Le Grand Chat ] |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Captain , I have reviewed the sensor logs from the encounter. The cute bird's ship was of an unknown but advanced design. It appears to have an advanced Ion Drive !
I bet chief engineer Erax would just Love to check under her Hood! Our "Beagle Nose" sensors have picked up the trail of the alien ship. I am setting course to follow and overtake. Captain: I know it's tempting to just continue on. But just think of all the paper work you will have to fill out !! Besides S'Katchoo does play, I mean Practice Ship Maneuvers, in a mean game of Star Fury and I'd miss that. |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Awww cripes i have nothing to do in this episode (did i just say cripes?)
Ok i'll just continue my investigations on the crew of the Phong's head *On Board the Phongs Head the Probe droid is still under the hologram disguise of the ensign, he walks down the corridor and heads into the engineers department. There Erax is currently having a haggis sandwhich. The ensign walks over to him and silently injects Erax with a fast acting drug. Erax turns round to look but only sees the feet of the attacker as his body slumps to the ground* *Erax awakes in his drugged state and is now tied in a chair bolted to a machine. He stares constantly at the decloacked probe droid and is mesmorised by the flashing lights, the drug quickly spreads throuhgout his system and he is drooling slightly* "Chief Engineer Erax, who is your loyalty to? I also want access codes to Jean Luc Le Grand Chats log, i believe you have something that could help me?And is it true you're having an affair with Kamog down here...? " |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
A low, haunting noise ememnates from the hollow space in Mr. S'Katchoo's head as the air from the nearby air conditioning unit blows through.
The noise attracts several hillbillies from Fartpoint who had sneaked aboard. The hillbilles, wearing ratty looking denim overalls, strawhats, and covered in dirt, sneak into Sickbay. Hillbilly # 1: "Hey Pa, this here fella's makes the same noise as yer bottle of Moonshine when you blow on it." Hillbilly # 2: "He sure does, Billy Bo. Grab me that there chair and i'll play us a jig." The Hillbillies shout "YEEEEEHAWWWW* and the older Hillbilly begins to blow in Mr. S'Katchoo's ear, producing a low tone. * oooooo * OOOO * oooooooooo * OOO * oooooooooo * OOO * ooo * OOOOOOOOOOO * Naturally, a hoe-down breaks out, and Sickbay becomes a Hillbilly festival. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Taz, as usual behind the bar in Ten Forward, is experimenting with new <font color = red> hot<font color = black> sauces to go on the tribble wings. He reads the label on his newest find:
------------------------------------------------- Dave's Insanity Sauce Dave's original! This is the only sauce ever Banned from the National Fiery Foods show. Not only is it a good sauce, but Dave says it "strips waxed floors and removes driveway grease stains." Tomato sauce, onions, hot pepper extract, hot peppers, vinegar, spices, soy oil and garlic salt. ------------------------------------------------- Liking the sound of the above description, Taz pours out a generous amount on some of the tribble wings. A hillbilly-looking type fellow approaches the bar and, seeing what Taz is doing, produces a bottle and hands it to Taz. This bottle reads: ------------------------------------------------- Screaming Sphincter Weez gessin it alls strartud when grama wuz in tha outhouse a yellin and cussin. Shur nuff she'd gottin into the hot stuff. Cayenne, vinegar, salt and spices. ------------------------------------------------- Taz figures it's worth a try and covers the remaining Tribble wings with this new sauce. Taz then begins to look for some likely candidates to try these new Hot Tribble Wings on... BTW - both of these sauces are real - they can be found here: www.geckogarys.com/mall/WayTooHot.asp To be tried at your own risk!!! [ June 03, 2003, 04:35: Message edited by: Taz-in-Space ] |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Speaking of sphincters (!) check -> This Site Out
Be sure to listen to the jingle http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Uh-oh, did somebody mention the o-word in the ingredients of Dave's Insanity Sauce? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif
Kamog goes to Ten Forward to try some of the hot sauce on tribble wings... |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Awooga Awooga Awooga Awoooga
The proximity alarm screams as the Captain runs from his ready room onto the bridge. Shields up, charge phaser banks, go to red alert. Mr Power Man report. Captain, out of nowhere, a large number of asteroid side vegetables have appeared in space right in front of us. I suspect someone mentioned the "o-word" aboard the ship.... Mr Power Man, launch photon torpedoes and destroy those vegetables... and can someone tell me why I heard a banjo sounding from the sick bay, and our doctor saying "dammit, I'm a doctor, not an inbreeding specialist" |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
<font color = purple> "Chief Engineer Erax, who is your loyalty to? I also want access codes to Jean Luc Le Grand Chats log, i believe you have something that could help me?And is it true you're having an affair with Kamog down here...? " </font>
Erax valiantly tries to resist, although the flashing lights are worse than the time he turned on Katchoo's disco simulation in the Holodeck by mistake. In desperation, he concentrates on the first thing he can think of. "If we... integrate dee-theta from zero to theta... that is equal to MCp over UA times dt over T minus t... integrated from t1 to t2... which comes out to... theta equals..." The flashing lights grow dim and then go off. Erax has put the probe droid to sleep ! He tries to drag the chair he is tied to, but it's bolted in place. Fortunately, the droid forgot to remove the tools from his back pockets. A few minutes of sawing at his bonds with a pocket knife and he is free. He quickly stabs the intercom. "Engineering to Bridge, we have an intruder aboard ! Send security doon here immediately !" Not wanting to be around when the red-shirt ensigns arrive and start shooting, Erax quickly leaves Engineering. [ June 06, 2003, 15:00: Message edited by: Chief Engineer Erax ] |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Captain to Erax, my nastiest, most vicious, evil minded sadistic violent and extremely attractive Liv Tyler clone space marines are on their way down...
Each of them is wearing a very tight red shirt indeed! I would stay and enjoy the view if I were you. PS but actually, if YOU ARE having an affair with Kamog down there, please dont hang around - leave's more red blooded totty for us real men [ June 03, 2003, 16:08: Message edited by: Captain Jean Luc Le Grand Chat ] |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Acting on the Captain's advice, Erax hides behind a control panel, just as the probe droid begins to stir. It gets up and begins to scan the area just as the space marine squad arrives. Having been discovered, it sprouts several arms, each of them equipped with a different deadly-looking weapon.
The Liv Tyler clone space marines quickly damage, disable and dismantle the droid with a series of awesome space karate, space kung fu and space aikido moves. Erax downloads the whole scene (filmed from several angles) from the security camera network into an engineering tricorder and leaves via a side exit. "Engineering to Ten Forward. Lieutenant Kamog, there's some cleanup work fer you doon here. I'll be wi' ye later, I have, um, some things to take care of." |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
So Chief Engineer Erax, I think the crew of the TSSS Phong's HEad have the right to know whether or not it is true that you and Kamog have been, ahem, having a few "intimate moments" together.....
Damn, we are being distracted from the prime mission which is to recover Mr S'Katchoo's brain (awww, wont a butternut squash from Taz's kitchen due the same thing?).. Captain to Mr Power Man, if you have finished vapourises those vegetables, please set a course to chase that alien ship at warp 9. Captain Slog, stardate 17.51 GMT - I must catch up and subdue that alien ship. No alien must be allowed to board a Galactic Federation Starship and steal the organs of its senior officers. And anyway, no good looking peice of tail should be able to get on this ship without least one of us getting hot and sweaty with it! if Starfleet find out about this, we will be the laughing stock of the fleet! |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
<font color = white>So Chief Engineer Erax, I think the crew of the TSSS Phong's HEad have the right to know whether or not it is true that you and Kamog have been, ahem, having a few "intimate moments" together.....
</font> No, Cap'n, my only love is this ship, I could never betray her (although that alien ship with the ion drives looks veeery tempting). [ June 06, 2003, 14:59: Message edited by: Chief Engineer Erax ] |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
*Luckily the 4 other probe droids had attached themselves to the ships hull and now one of them is destroyed another one comes Online. It sprouts 2 mechanical arms and begins to search the ship for an entrance. It finds one of the few holes left by the boarding party and after much hassle burns through the duc tape, it seems that kamog has neglected his duties for some reason! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif The probe droid quickly hooks himself up to the computer with some footage from the engineering department. It comes up on the main viewer on the bridge with some cheesy music you usually find in porn flicks and a big title comes up. Erax and Kamog... The Truth. The crew watch on in horror as two people who look like erax and kamog get intimate with each other and Jean Luc turns it off less than 1/4 way through in disgust. Is this an altered fake designed by deadstar intelligence to cause mutiny, or was it stolen from the ships cctv camera system.... an official investigation must be "mounted" *
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Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Power Man dodges the large number of asteroid size vegetables “lean left, Right, Left”.
With phasers set to “Chop and Dice” the massive orbs are cut into nice size chunks. Two of the cold storage cargo bays are filled with the chopped On- er vegetables. “This will keep Taz in tribble wing sauce for a Long Time.” Captain: I have tracked the alien ship to a rough, frozen world in the Sigma Draconis star system. It must have landed because I cannot detect it any more. Scanners are not picking up any signs of advanced civilization on the surface. The world seems to be a deep Ice Age. I have detected some ruins on the surface. We are now in orbit over the ruins. I can detect only limited life. (After all Mr S'Katchoo is the science officer. Not me.) Captain: I seem to be getting a strange reading from something just outside of the ship. I will need to do a surface scan to determine what it might be. Captain… Captain….? What are you looking at on the main screen? OOOOh AAAAH EccccK!! What are erax and kamog doing to each other??? So that’s were kamog went. |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Kamog goes down to Engineering to see what kind of cleanup work is required... there's thousands of little alien-droid parts scattered all over the floor. Kamog picks up some of the bigger pieces to examine, but nothing looks salvageable. Oh, well.
OK, where's the vacuum cleaner? Kamog opens the door to the little storage closet in the Engineering area. The vacuum cleaner is covered with an inch of dust, spider webs and dead bugs. Also in the closet are fossilized banana peels, apple cores, a broken broom, a leaky bucket, and some mummified rats. When Kamog brings out the vacuum cleaner, the wheels fall off. Giving up on the vacuum cleaner, Kamog picks up the broken broom and sweeps up all the droid bits from the floor. After finishing the cleanup and putting the broom away, Kamog looks down the hall and sees the pretty space marines. "Wow, I didn't know we have Liv Tyler clones on board! Maybe I can get them to teach me space aikido!" Kamog goes up to the Liv Tyler clones, and they are all watching the view screen. ...What? What's this on the screen? Some of the clones start looking at Kamog, then at the screen, and then back at Kamog again. "Hey, that's not me! I don't think that's Commander Erax, either. We didn't do that, it's fake!" The Liv Tyler clones don't seem to believe him, and Kamog quickly leaves the area. |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Kamog finds Erax and lets him know what is going on. The two of them try to analyze the tapes to prove it's a forgery, but their skills are inadequate. Erax takes a turbolift to the bridge and tries to avoid everyone's gaze as he walks up to the Captain's chair.
"Cap'n, that tape we just saw is a fake ! Unfortunately, only Mr. S'Katchoo has the skills to analyze it and prove our, er, innocence in this matter. We must find his brain and get it back, Kamog's reputation and mine depend on it !" In a lower voice he says, "... And yours too. If Starfleet hears of this they might wonder what kind of Captain allows this sort of, um, fraternizing among his officers." |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Oh lord, you are right Kamog and Erax, no Galactic Federation Starship has ever had a couple of felching officers on it!
Mr Power Man, find us that brain knicking female immediately. |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Captain : I have detected power readings from deep in the planet. I cannot get a good enough reading to beam a team directly there. I can put a team down on the surface in the center of the ruins. I suggest you put an away team together and see if you find away in from there.
You had best bundle up Sir. It is COLD down there. |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
*As the Captain prepares his away team the camera pans across to the planet and zooms in to the icy wasteland. Patrolling the perimeters to the ruins are two deadstar scouts. Two vanessa feltz clones stalk forwards on all fours with a turbolaser turret mounted upon their backs. Standing on top of them are two Deadstar scouts. They're both wearing purple and black costumers simmilar to what that silver number that seven of nine wears. Now that the away team has ideas of intimate liasons with these two patrol units may i remind you that these scouts have the ability to suck the life out of anyone they choose, an added ability this particular race has. (*Hint* anyone caught tampering with these guards will have to have very low sexual prowess and the ability to finish in under a minute! I'm sure the good Captain wouldn't want people with such a lack of sexual ability on his crew) They stalk the outsides of the ruins, protecting the deadstar research team who are studying an alien race and culture in a village a mile or two away! It seems the Away team may have some trouble if they beam down to the ruins http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif *
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Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Quote:
Chaps, take the phaser rifles with you and dress up cold. Assemble in the transporter room whilst I get the photon torpoedoes and planet buster missiles ready to be fired on a moment's notice. Dont worry, the honour of the Galactic Federation means that I promise not to fire them until you are safely off the planet (fingers crossed). Make it so |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
*Dogscoff arrives in the transporter room wearing full battle armour and sporting a massive gun like the one Vasquez had at the start of aliens. He is also wearing a set of pastel blue fluffy ear-muffs.
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Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Erax joins Dogscoff in the transporter room. He is wearing a snow-camo parka with lots of pockets with tools and such. There's a phaser in there somewhere, now if only he could remeber which pocket it's in...
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Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Captain Slog - Stardate 1800 GMT, I am about to send my intrepid crew down on a potentially lethal away mission to the planet. We have detected signs of life on the freezing iceball we are orbitting, and we are also convinced that the Evil Deadstar Continumumumum is involved in this heinous plot to steal our science officer's brain.
I suspect the Deadstar Continumumum have some evil plot hatching, it probably involves some Vanessa Feltz' clones with laser turrets mounted on their backs and an evil ability to suck the life out of any red blooded male who can Last longer than a minute with them. YOu never know what those cunning fiends are up to... I feel that I should go on this mission. It is potentially too dangerous to send the crew on, and I should be there to lead my troops into danger. Of course, I will be wearing the most advanced and toughest battle armour known to galactic science, as well as being festooned with grenades and carrying "Bertha", my favourite 4 barrelled twin plasma cannon. The Captain suits up, gets a couple of red shirts in tow and heads down to the transporter room.... |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Kamog shows up at the transporter room wearing a heavy, down-filled winter jacket. On his utility belt is a tricorder, a PPG pistol, and several ninja throwing stars. Across his back is an old samurai sword. In one hand, he's carrying a phaser rifle and in the other, a nice bouquet of flowers.
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Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
The transporter room briefly becomes a trifle breazy as a minature whirlwind spins into view.
Suddenly the whirlwind resolves itself into - the Taz. Taz is wearing - well, his usual fur... And he is armed with - His usual 6 inch fangs and (if necessary) a temperment that would make a crazed wounded rhino seem positively mellow. He is also carrying a sachel loaded with various ACME gadgets and his favorite noise maker: an antique .50 cal gold-plated Desert Eagle Revolver. (He just loves the 'booming' sound it makes! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif ) "Taz reporting duty, Captain!" |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Captain Slog, stardate 08.54 GMT, my brave away party are assembled in the transporter room. It does my heart proud to see the chaps standing there ready for anything and as focussed as a kittne in a feather factory. Whatever happens to us on the planet, I know that the honor of the Galactic Federation will be upheld. I am impressed at their ingenuity, my engineer has even bought a bunch of flowers in case the mysterious young totty who stole S'Katchoo's brain can be wooed that way. Nice touch..
Mr Transporter operator, beam us down. The away team appear on a frozen, miserable looking rocky landscape, half in shadow and looking as forlorn as the Last puppy in the shop window. Mr Power Man, please give us bearing to those life signs you discovered earlier on. Commander Dogscoff, please take tricorder readings of our immediate surroundings. Mr Power Man, please ensure that the TSSS Phong's Head is at red aler and is ready for full planetary assault mode. I want a phaser strike on a second's notice should any horrible vanesa feltz clone thingies turn up... |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
*dogscoff, a trifle twitchy after staying awake all week with the aid of various stimulants in order to watch the four "alien" films back-to-back 16 times in a row, clamps a cigar in his teeth and takes some tricorder readings.
"Another goddamn bughunt..." [ June 06, 2003, 09:19: Message edited by: dogscoff ] |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
The Captain fires up "Bertha" and lets loose a torrent of plasma bolts and whatever was moving...
"Yeee hawwwwww, eat hot plasma you muthersucking alien scum, this'll hurt, yeehawwwwwwwwwwwww" |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Erax hits the deck, just in case 'all directions' means what I think it does.
He opens one of his pockets and pulls out a motion detector. "Cap'n, whatever it was, it's stopped moving." [ June 06, 2003, 15:09: Message edited by: Chief Engineer Erax ] |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
*dogscoff, breathing heavily, takes his finger off the trigger and allows the gun to spin down. The long barrel pings quietly as it cools.
Oh, I feel better for that. And it only cost us 3 ammo crates and a half-dozen redshirts. Let's get on with this mission shall we? Tricorder readings indicate a society of dirt-tech humanoids living on the surface, why don't we go see if they'll sell all their womenfolk in exchange for a bag of cheap pLastic jewelry and a nintendo gameboy. Erax, have the crew back on the ship prepare the turbo-showers. |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
*Deep down in a science lab on the said planet an evil looking scientist marvels at his creation. There were 10 of them, all looking like black Versions wof the bluey alien off farscape just with large claws and fangs to rival taz's. The strange thing about this female aliens are they also have 6 breasts and male wedding tackle http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif . He smiles, inspecting them all maybe a bit too closely http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif (the deadstar continuum dosen't really question our scientists turn ons, it would take piles of paperwork and thousands in therapist bills)They all smile seductively when a voice comes over the intercom.*
"Doctor, we have a reported sighting of Galactic federation away teams on the planet. We need your most evil, beastly, rabid creatures you can find to attack them!" *The scientist begins to cry thinking about sending his beloved "beauties" to their deaths. He equips them with a couple of machine plasma rail guns and tosses them a few pulse grenades. To get them in the mood to kill he quickly brings up his dossier on Jean Luc le Grand Chat...* "This...Cat thingy....*sob* *sniff* Killed your mother!!! But not before raping her and using her as a sex toy!!! Ummm *sob* *sniff* Anything he says is a lie and you must exterminate with extreme prejiduce and pleasure!" *The creatures, non too bright, believe him and storm out the room leaving the scientist to cry over a lack of "bizarre pleasure" for the night before him...* Ok guys, to keep Ratings up heres a bunch of evil aliens to kill. Although i think one of them has a thing for Kamog after seeing the flowers. Will Erax be jealous? what will he do? read the next post! |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Oh goody, we are playing space marines..
Look alive people, this is hostile territory and I want everybody watching each other's back at all times. Remember your training everybody and if you see any tentacled monstrousities, I expect you to blow them away before you ask questions.. Growltigga puts on his forage cap, spits on the floor and cocks his gun... Right, Mr Dogscoff, tell us where we need to go so those alien bastards can come get some! |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
*Suddenly, dogscoff sees -or maybe hallucinates- something moving from the corner of his eye. He immediately starts indiscriminately spraying bullets and harsh language in all directions.
"GET SOME! GET SOME! GET SOME!" |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Taz, due to his keen tasmanian hearing, is the first to note the charging alien women(?). He quickly takes in the formation that these creatures have assumed for the attack:
-> * * * * --> * * * ---> * * ----> * ----> T Looks like a good time for TAZ BOWLING!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif With a roar Taz spins madly and hits the formation head-on... As the dust settles, Taz notes that he left a 7-10 split. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif -> * . . * Oh well, 8 out of ten isn't bad! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif Heads up Kamog, I think one of those Last two is coming for some flowers!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif [ June 07, 2003, 03:49: Message edited by: Taz-in-Space ] |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Goody, it was a good idea to bring flowers, now some ladies are noticing me! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif But I was rather hoping to give them to a nice, beautiful lady, preferably not one who is trying to kill us. Maybe there will be more friendly women underground?
Are these aliens really female? I'd rather not have to shoot a woman... |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Erax caught the incoming aliens on the motion detector a while back. By the time Taz charged them he was already well hidden behind a large rock. When the aliens start shooting, he starts looking for his phaser.
"Not this... no, not this either... hm, this will have to do for now." As the steam clears, he gets up and tosses a crescent wrench at the nearest alien, hitting it squarely on the head. The creature goes down, but the others turn their weapons on him. He quickly dives for cover again, searching for something else to use. "I've got their attention, now what ?" |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
"Ugh, these creatures certainly aren't going to get these flowers."
Kamog fires his phaser rifle - and misses. He blows away a fake styrofoam boulder. He fires again, and misses, hitting a pile of snow. "I know I should have spent more time shooting targets in the holodeck instead of training in Klingon batliff combat... speaking of which, I forgot to bring my batliff!" Kamog gets behind cover and tries to adjust his phaser settings. "Why do they have to make these controls so user-unfriendly? Now, how do I set this thing to wide-angle stun...??" He takes a screwdriver and opens up the little panel on the side of the phaser rifle, disconnects several color-codes wires, and re-routes them. "Oh, no, the stupid crimp ring broke off -- where's my soldering iron?" While Kamog is re-attaching the wire with a small piece of duct tape, the alien comes charging. Kamog steps to the side and strikes her on the head with the rifle, knocking her down. Kamog quickly wraps tons of duct tape around the alien's arms and legs. |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Kamog turns on his communicator.
"Kamog to Phong's Head. Transporter chief, please beam this prisoner up directly to a high-security cell in the brig. We'll interrogate her later." |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
*As the alien is beamed away it blows a kiss to Kamog and begins to serenade him in a gargling voice!*
Looks like you've pulled kamog, waht will erax think? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
*The Aliens get up and all turn their guns on taz. Well all of them except the two taz missed. One of them is heading towards Kamog drooling. High above the planet a Deadstar satellite watches the action. Senator Deadstar watches as the creatures move for attack. The one remaining alien looks at taz and is subtly impressed and moves towards him. So 2 of the attack team are smitten by the heroics of the away team, but that leaves 8 to destroy the Federation intruders. They fire their cannons with an average aim and watches as the snow melts and is sprayed everywhere when hit. The steam clears and they wait to see if their opponents stand...*
Kamog, you don't want attention of these things. You may have misread my Last post. Yes they have 6 breasts and can be quite affectionate but they also have the male sexual organ. Unless you like that kind of thing, it would add substantial evidence to the Kamog and Erax mystery! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif Think of them as a single sex species [ June 07, 2003, 12:26: Message edited by: Senator Raging Deadstar ] |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Taz tenses as the alien females? fire. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif
He remains motionless as bolts of light zip in all directions. This is apparently is what saved him as much of the surrounding countryside is obliterated and Taz remains unharmed. That scientist must have neglected to teach these aliens how to aim! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif When the aliens have used up their current gun charges, Taz takes advantage of the momentary pause and takes a gadget out of his satchel. It's an ACME Thermal hand grenade! Taz quickly dials it to: Antarctic in Mid-winter. Tossing the grenade in the middle of the alien pack, he dives for cover... ...Foom. (short for Freezing Boom) The grenade goes off and those aliens are now quick-frozen in mid action. In this cold environment, that should hold them for a good long while! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon6.gif |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Kamog starts scanning the nearby area with his tricorder. ...Let's see, maybe there's some way to get down underground where the power readings came from.
By the way, we'll need to bring S'Katchoo's body with us so that we can put his brain back when we find it. I believe Dr. Geo has devised a remote controller for S'Katchoo so that he can walk around without his brain... |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
*Senator Raging Deadstar thinks to himself....*
DR GEO!!!! He has a body to control by remote control???? *The scene switches to the the sick bay where Dr Geo is laughing incontrollably as he makes S'Katchoos body flirt with an overweight hillbilly female (around 60 years old) with pigtails, freckles, wrinkles and those weird checkered shirts tied below the breast (although it's pretty far down on this mature women, lord help s'katchoo if he encounters those sagging beings!) Suddenly the women grabs S'katchoo and drags him to the sickbay bed and proceeds to tear his clothes off!* I'm pretty sure S'Katchoo might want a new body after this http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif *Jean Luc le Grand Chat shakes his head as he hears the noises of sickbay come of his intercom....* |
Re: Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave
Down in the depths of the impregnable fortress of FartPoint, an wizen older gentleman continues to follow the escapades of the Crew of the Infamous TSS Phong and her crew.... and he chuckles to himself as he downs a brewski or two... if they only knew ..... .........
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