Re: Joker: new game, new theme Submit Pretenders!
 

Best. Start. Eva.

Really, Shiny, I will miss you after cooking you.

Re: Joker: new game, new theme Submit Pretenders!
 

Dear Sir,

While the priesthood of Machaka appreciates the speed at which you supplied the 'God'n'Environment SuperPlus Service<SUP>TM</SUP>', we have some serious reservations over the actual quality of the service. The God Forest was delivered to the wrong location and we received not one, but 5 God Mountains! To make matters worse, not one of these arrived at the right address and our capital now lies in near-permanent shade as the bottom of a deep valley.

On the bright (or at least less shadowed) side, our newly dark conditions are a good growing environment for the giant spiders who's eggs you supplied. We would however have preferred it if the small print explaining the need for incubators had been slightly less well-hidden. I believe that the ambient heat of the caves deep within God Mountain might have been sufficient for the task, but due to the delivery problems mentioned above that possibility remains one for academic debate alone.

Finally, there is the matter of the Pretender you supplied. I am sure that the call center I contacted was outsourced for sound economic reasons, but the agent I spoke with apparently had some difficulty understanding me. I specifically ordered a Colossal Fetish Pretender, and most emphatically NOT a Pretender with a colossal fetish!! When Tamakeri arrived, his subjects had barely five minutes to worship him before he disappeared into the deepest interrogation level of the temple basement with a dozen sorceresses in tow, and no-one has seen him since. The one initiate we sent in to investigate is no longer capable of lucid conversation bar an occasional muttering about manacles.

In view of the gap between our expectations of your quality of service and the realities we have experienced, I have no choice but to request a full refund.

Yours,

Thunbu
High Voice of the Lord Tamakeri

Re: Joker: new game, new theme Submit Pretenders!
 

The top Ermorians were scutteling around the place like ants... one day they had a perfectly good comic, the next poof. Those people were unreliable. So now they had to hire this new guy from across a few oceans, George he was called and apparently he could do interesting tricks with a pingpong ball... Anyway they had other problems the next to free immigrant labour had dried up, so the coorporations had to rely on necromancy to keep production going, it wasn't looking good for ermor, but at least they still had their sense of humour, those that weren't walking dead anyway...

Re: Joker: new game, new theme Submit Pretenders!
 

So far best post goes to Gregs, I actually laughed, and now someone kill be quick so I can bow out, I kept telling myself I was only funny when I wasn't trying :(

Re: Joker: new game, new theme Submit Pretenders!
 

Thunbu and I must have shopped at the same place for a pretender. Atlantis's very own Mr. Tentacles, apparently so unimpressed with the Queens of the deep almost immediately wandered off muttering in a rather miffed tone something about "frog faces" and "pointy coral panties."

Besides Tifone, I thought Abysians were allergic to calamari? Had something to do with the water I think. :P

Re: Joker: new game, new theme Submit Pretenders!
 

Actually, we are allergic to a lot of things. Trust a fool, don't feed us, you don't wanna be where an army of 80+ Abysians is caught by Explosive Dysentery.

Re: Joker: new game, new theme Submit Pretenders!
 

Let's hope the Machakan fetishist's shares this view. :eek:

Re: Joker: new game, new theme Submit Pretenders!
 

I'd suggest staying away from Bandar Log then. I imagine you'll find the curry in particular depressingly mild.

Re: Joker: new game, new theme Submit Pretenders!
 

Also on that not, I'd highly recommend staying away from C'tis. Gods only know what happens to a man's insides in their dominion, and with all the swamp gas around there, you might just have another French Cheese incident on your hands, or even worse.

Re: Joker: new game, new theme Submit Pretenders!