Re: 320.2! 301.5, 311.3, 65.4
 

Reply 400!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Re: 320.2! 301.5, 311.3, 65.4
 

this has gotten udderly silly

Re: 320.2! 301.5, 311.3, 65.4
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Da-Bam-Bam

Re: 320.2! 301.5, 311.3, 65.4
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Ok, mister cow scientist. How long did it take for you to figure this one out? Or are you really a cow scientist? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Re: 320.2! 301.5, 311.3, 65.4
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Wow, that was a powerful joke. Man, you have to be a regular jokster to figure that one out. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...s/rolleyes.gif

Re: 320.2! 301.5, 311.3, 65.4
 

[quote]Originally posted by Ragnarok:

Quote:

Wow, that was a powerful joke. Man, you have to be a regular jokster to figure that one out. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...s/rolleyes.gif

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">yeah, i know it was pretty hard to udderstand.

Re: 320.2! 301.5, 311.3, 65.4
 

someone explain me how did this topic about... hmm.. what was the original title? anyway, COWS, become that long?

Re: 320.2! 301.5, 311.3, 65.4
 

the original title was "empty," because it contained an empty post that the author wanted ignored, because he could not delete it. lots of people replied, afirming that yes, it was indeed empty, which really bugged the author whom was embarassed to have created the thread by mistake. we keep posting here because no one wants him to live it down, and its an excuse to dredge up horrid attempts at humor that would never pass on a more reasonable thread.

the names have been omitted to protect the guilty.

i know that was long winded, so i wont udder another word about it.

Re: 320.2! 301.5, 311.3, 65.4
 

So, it was an udder disaster for the author.

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Bunch of lies.
I stare at the glass of milk and see no butter.
I can't believe it is not butter !

Re: 320.2! 301.5, 311.3, 65.4
 

you cant believe its not bUDDER?

Re: 320.2! 301.5, 311.3, 65.4
 

The funniest joke in the world:

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
--------------------------------------------------

Funniest joke in the states:

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes and bows in prayer.

His friend says, "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man."

The man then replies, "Yeah, well we were married 35 years."
--------------------------------------------------

Funniest Joke in Uk, Germany, Belgium: Respectively:

A woman gets onto a bus with her baby.

The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!"

The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off. Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."
--------------------------------------------------
A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say, "That's not it" and put it down again.

This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army.

The soldier picked it up, smiled and said, "That's it."
--------------------------------------------------
Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stamp out fires.

Why do elephants have flat feet? To stamp out burning ducks.
--------------------------------------------------

Funniest Joke in Canada and Australia: Respectively:

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 Celsius.

The Russians used a pencil.
--------------------------------------------------
This woman rushes to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off, "Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's wrong with me, Doctor?"

The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says, "Well, I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight ..."
--------------------------------------------------

It's sad isn't it?

[ October 04, 2002, 03:22: Message edited by: TerranC ]

Re: 320.2! 301.5, 311.3, 65.4
 

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif Those are some good ones. Althought I don't agree with the first joke being the funniest in the world. It's close but not the best... I heard one the other day that is one of my most favorite now. It goes like this...

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel hanging from his pants. The bartender notices this and says, "Excuse me sir, but did you know you have a steering wheel hanging from your pants?" The pirate looks up at the bartender and says, "Arrr, it's driving me nuts!"

That is one of the best jokes I have ever heard. I died forever when I heard that one.

Re: 320.2! 301.5, 311.3, 65.4
 

why do you all post jokes here? its a thread about milk, butter and emptiness isnt it?

Re: 320.2! 301.5, 311.3, 65.4
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">No... the greatness of this thread is a topic only Last a couple Posts... Then it changes without warning. We were talking about cows a few minutes ago, now we're on to different jokes. That's what makes it so much fun, is to change the subject without warning.

Re: 320.2! 301.5, 311.3, 65.4
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Then why the hell am I here looking for golf tips???

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<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">You want a golf tip?

Hit the little white Ball into the hole that has the flag in it. If the ball doesn't go far enough, just pick it up and throw it.

That's how I play golf at any rate...

Re: 320.2! 301.5, 311.3, 65.4
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">You want a golf tip?

Hit the little white Ball into the hole that has the flag in it. If the ball doesn't go far enough, just pick it up and throw it.

That's how I play golf at any rate...</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Heh, good tips...

Re: 320.2! 301.5, 311.3, 65.4
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">You only learn those tips after years and years of being a bad Golfer. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Re: 320.2! 301.5, 311.3, 65.4
 

Well I see we had another name change, just how DO you change the name IF you did not make the topic?

Re: 320.2! 301.5, 311.3, 65.4
 

Remember to tip the Beer Cart girl as she hands you a cold beer to drown your sorrows over shooting a 6 on an easy par 3.

Cheers!
Trajan

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<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">You don't unless you are a moderator.

Re: 320.2! 301.5, 311.3, 65.4
 

Chicken Salad?

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<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Yeah, chicken salad is good, but its hard work ripping those chickens into little pieces and tossing them in the salad bowl. BTW, what sort of dressing do you use on it?

Re: 320.2! 301.5, 311.3, 65.4
 

HA! Chicken salad is of the past! The new best thing around is... BoneLESS buffalo wings! That's right, boneless. Hard to imagine I know. Me and my friends discovered this tonight at applebees. I don't know if they had them your ways already or not but it's new to my area. And it's great!

Re: 320.2! 301.5, 311.3, 65.4
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">...and did you notice that they ARE NOT troubled with rats? Coincidence? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Re: 320.2! 301.5, 311.3, 65.4
 

Wonder if it's hard to raise a boneless chicken...

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<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Like many third world governments, they must be propped up by a stronger power. *groan* http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...s/rolleyes.gif

Re: 320.2! 301.5, 311.3, 65.4
 

* Activate Sally Struthers’ voice *

Friends every day another Buffalo goes flightless. The victims of a cruel and heartless snack industry. But you can do something to help. For just the cost of $1.00 a day you can bring hope to these poor majestic creatures. Won’t you please help?

* deactivate Sally Struthers’ voice *

Re: 320.2! 301.5, 311.3, 65.4
 

I see Sally Struthers on tv crying all the time. It makes my heart weep to think that the American people can not join together and donate a dime each.

If only we could do that...

Then we could put her in orbit! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

Re: 320.2! 301.5, 311.3, 65.4
 

Someone help with the physics here...

But putting Sally Struthers in orbit has a real danger of offsetting the gravitational balance of our system. I fear that she may draw the moon out of orbit.

And stray refuse (such as wrappers, bones, and KFC buckets) that falls out of her pockets endangers the earth with constant mereoric harassment.

God forbid... any post-meal methane release http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif may alter the delicate balance of our troposphere!

[ October 07, 2002, 15:59: Message edited by: Stone Mill ]

Re: 320.2! 301.5, 311.3, 65.4
 

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">You don't unless you are a moderator.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Thanks Geo....I see this post has inside help http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

Re: 320.2! 301.5, 311.3, 65.4
 

My gods I can't believe that this topic has gone down to unposted.

Re: 320.2! 301.5, 311.3, 65.4
 

And on Monday night too. Lots to post about ya know.

Re: 320.2! 301.5, 311.3, 65.4
 

I just can't believe it; I'm replying to my own post! Talk people! talk!

*can you see that I'm trying to get to 600th post?* *Is it that obvious?*

Re: 320.2! 301.5, 311.3, 65.4
 

Hey Look at this:

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Funny funny funny

Re: 320.2! 301.5, 311.3, 65.4
 

Ruatha, could you change the title again to supercalifragilisticexpialadocious?

Let me write that again:

S U P E R C A L I F R A G I L I S T I C E X P I A L A D O C I O U S

Thank you have a nice day

Re: 320.2! 301.5, 311.3, 65.4
 

Just a fact: Its been awhile since I've posted here.

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<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Yes it's plainly obvious. We would have never figured that one out.

Re: 320.2! 301.5, 311.3, 65.4
 

We are talking:

Look I'm talking.
(ok for the real wake people: I'm writing that I'm talking..)

Sign....

Re: 320.2! 301.5, 311.3, 65.4
 

What's the most annoing sound in the world????

Re: 320.2! 301.5, 311.3, 65.4
 

The sound of one hand clapping. Or the sound of a tree falling in the forest when there is no one there to hear it. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

Re: 320.2! 301.5, 311.3, 65.4
 

If a man speaks in a forest,
and there is no woman to hear him,
is he still wrong?

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If a stealth fighter crashes in a forest, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

It takes a big man to cry. It takes an even bigger man to laugh at that man.

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.

I think in weightlifting, you shouldn't be automatically disqualified for sudden uncontrolled urination.

-Jack Handey

[ October 09, 2002, 19:36: Message edited by: sachmo ]

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TerranC > Julie Andrews? (Mary Poppins)

[ October 09, 2002, 20:03: Message edited by: Ruatha ]

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Anyone have a spoonfull of sugar? I need to take some medicine.

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Even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious....

Greybeard

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<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">ROFLMAO He WAS wrong for being in the forest in the first place! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Re: 320.2! 301.5, 311.3, 65.4
 

...a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down...

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<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Water, water also helps.