OT: If You Were God For One Minute
 

If I were God for one minute I would ask myself why oh why do people keep saying these words? In a modern day society, a word like Daggummit just needs to be forgotten.

I hate this word, I do so ever hate it. In fact I have fixated upon it as the word of my doom, and will forever dedicate my life to its irradiation.

It isn't even a word, it is something some person thought up that, to me, sounds really dumb.

If I were God but for one minute, I would eliminate this word from existence, then give my self a sizable bank account and make all the beautiful women in the world love me. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[ February 03, 2004, 12:47: Message edited by: Atrocities ]

Re: OT: If You Were God For One Minute
 

<font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">Bad idea ! Your bank account will turn into a sizable debt at no time http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Re: OT: If You Were God For One Minute
 

How about the word Dagnabit(?) I grew up watching a bunch of westerns, and it was always interesting to see what words they were using instead of those 7 words you can't say on TV. I still use words like dang or darnit from time to time, although I use the original words more often (at least out of hearing from my 3 year old).

As far as being God, I would make sure everbody on this planet would get the cure for diseases like cancer and AIDS, so that the pharmaceutical companies couldn't get greedy and charge whatever price they felt like charging. Then in the Last few seconds left to me, I'd follow Atrocities track and make myself filthy rich. If you're rich, then all women will love you.

Re: OT: If You Were God For One Minute
 

Thank you for the new word, Atrocities.

Never heard that one before, but I think its very cool. I’ll be sure to use that a lot in the future http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Re: OT: If You Were God For One Minute
 

<font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">Yes Sir, you are correct!

Re: OT: If You Were God For One Minute
 

You forgot "dadburn it." Heh heh.

I've always been kind of partial to the kind of things that came out of Colonel Sherman Potter's mouth on MASH. Things like "horse hockey," or "cow cookies." My kids always thought those were funny.

If I were God, I would probably realize that things are the way the are for a reason, sigh, and let it go at that.

Re: OT: If You Were God For One Minute
 

I would bring my wife home, or at least tip the scales so that she comes home safely. I never knew I could miss her so much. Now I am getting sad again. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif

Re: OT: If You Were God For One Minute
 

Hmmm, if I were god for a day? easy, I would cure all the ills of the world, end famine, stop war, make the world environmentally friendly, banish George Bush to the moon (would he notice you think?), promote well being and organic practices across everyone, make everybody nice and friendly, and finally, I would tell all the girls in the world that is was me who did all this, they would naturally be drawn to me as a labrador is to cow flop to roll in and hey ho, after my hard day of labour, I could have quite a few days of naughty fun

Re: OT: If You Were God For One Minute
 

<font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">yup.

Re: OT: If You Were God For One Minute
 

<font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">You are evil Primitive.

Re: OT: If You Were God For One Minute
 

I'm kinda with Growltigger, but simpler: If I were god for a minute, all the corrupt and/or evil bastards out there would drop dead.

I believe the ensuing cleanup and reorganization would be a good exercise for the survivors; hopefully it will be "character building".

(oops, day, minute, second, whatever.)

[ February 03, 2004, 21:28: Message edited by: atari_eric ]

Re: OT: If You Were God For One Minute
 

What, nobody suggested "nuke the world and start over" yet? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Re: OT: If You Were God For One Minute
 

<font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">what, you didnt notice me not replying? i figured everyone would know that was my line, and i wouldnt even have to bother voicing it.

although i would like to see all things come to an end - mostly for the arrogant sense of satisfaction that would come from being 'there' at the pinicale of our civilization and the knowledge that nothing greater would ever be achieved (Ramses II, eat your heart out) - I have to admit that Cipher has the answer that I would most like pick as well. For all the flaws in the world, I'm rather happy with it the way it is.

Any idealized Version that I could construct, be it utopian, dystopian, or appocalyptic, would only be based on stimulus and inspirations that I have recieved from the world we have. so I guess it isnt such a bad litte world after all - and even if it is such a bad little world, I guess I like it that way.

Re: OT: If You Were God For One Minute
 

I wonder how much you could crank up karma-like effects before the laws of physics break down...

Re: OT: If You Were God For One Minute
 

Hmmm,

I would probably stand there in awe of myself for exactly 59.995 seconds... ( sigh )

Re: OT: If You Were God For One Minute
 

If i were a GOD for one minute:I would give everyone free food,drink,Money,medical & gasolene http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif .I would exile/transport, George Bush from the planet earth to the: OTHER SIDE OF THE MILKY WAY..As a matter of FACT,I would exile All politician Cronies too.Thats including BOTH, Democrates,Repulicans,Independents & media http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif .Maybe not Fox News bill orilly.

Re: OT: If You Were God For One Minute
 

Rather than intervene directly and personally and cure all ills, I'd rather give humanity a (hard) nudge in the right direction and let them sort things out for themselves.

First I'd appear simultaneously and with some big, spectacular and undeniable miracle in every church, mosque, synagogue, temple and whatnot in the entire world and say (in the appropriate Languages) "Right, I'm God and I'm sick to death of you lot bickering and fighting over how I should be worshipped, so I don't want you to worship Me at all. I don't want any more priests, monks, rabbis, nuns, shrines, altars, prayers, statues, idols, hymns, chants, offerings, blessings or anything. Just take Me for granted and get on with your lives. By all means continue to get together at the church every Sunday morning for a sing-song and I'm all in favour of organising charity works and such, but you'll have to do all that in someone else's name. And for My sake let that poor old bloody Pope retire. Can't you see he needs a rest? You've all had the same message now so there's no excuse, now get out there and be nice to one another."
Then I'd disappear.

That would take quite a lot of my minute, since I'd have to do it in human-time rather than God-time, so I'd have to be quick with the rest.

Next I'd visit thousands of engineers, students, inventors and entrepreneurs across the planet, implanting in their heads the knowledge necessary to make a cheap, clean and limitless energy source, and a cheap, clean, safe and easy-to-build spaceship, thus ushering in a new age of wealth, exploration and discovery for the entire human race.

Just to make sure humanity was motivated to make proper use of this gift, I'd go to Mars and plant a big black obelisk just in the spot where the latest probe is just about to explore=-) On closer examination (ie when humans actually get there) there would be a label on the back that said "Made in Taiwan." And underneath that: "Just Kidding, keep up the good work" and signed "God"

The free energy thing might stuff up the world's economy though, as giant oil and power companies go bust (Oops, sorry Dubbya http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif ). I'd compensate for this by speaking to the heads of the megacorporations in their dreams (first sending them instantly to sleep if they happened to be awake at the time) and compelling them to spend big wads of their corporate cash on goodwill projects in deprived areas all over the world to distribute food and medecines, and to build roads and schools and hospitals and irrigation and to train people and whatever else is needed. Hopefully all that new activity and industry would soak up the job losses and economic depression caused by nuclear power stations and oil rigs and oil tankers (and priests and monks and nuns) suddenly becoming obselete.

I think those few actions should be enough to redirect peoples' energies in more positive directions. The religion thing should sort out half the world's conflicts, and the sudden abundance of energy and the prospect of space exploration should sort out most of the rest, and then with everyone suddenly being so nice to one another a tide of goodwill would sweep the Earth and things like curing ilness, saving the environment and feeding the hungry would follow on naturally.

If course, being God, I'd have had the knowledge and Power necessary to accomplish all the above in exactly 55 seconds. I'd use 4 more seconds to I'd have a quick look around the cosmos for intelligent life on other worlds, and find out if the universe actually does have an edge, just to satisfy my own curiosity,

Finally, with my Last second I'd alter myself so that when I stop being God, I will have a sixpack and a metabolism that allows me to eat all the cheese and red meat I want without worrying about my cholesterol.

Oh, and if I had a half-second left I'd be sorely tempted to take the asteroid belt, a few of jupiter's moons and all the crap floating about beyond Saturn and turn it into a massive Ringworld between Earth and Mars with a breathable atmosphere and continents carved to spell out my name and obelisks all over the bloody place but to be honest I think that might be a bit much=-)

Re: OT: If You Were God For One Minute
 

The idea of Dogscoff is nice, however, he forgot one thing: Knowing human nature, he should also make a patent signed to God of those new, clean pollutionsless energy sources and techniques into every patent office of the world. Then some smart *** engineer like myself could't run into nearest patent office and claim the patent of those techinques and become shamelessly rich (or even try to argue about it). http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[ February 04, 2004, 11:30: Message edited by: Karibu ]

Re: OT: If You Were God For One Minute
 

Yeah, good point karibu.

Re: OT: If You Were God For One Minute
 

Nice idea Dogscoff; but it probably would NOT work. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

I think all that would happen is that the religous leaders worldwide would get together and proclaim that your grand stunt was...

http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon8.gif THE DEVIL'S HANDYWORK! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon8.gif

...and good old rationalizing humanity would continue on as before. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...s/rolleyes.gif

Re: OT: If You Were God For One Minute
 

You know whats irritating now? For those of us in America I am constantly being bombarded by congressman that are freaking going crazy over that stupid half time show during the SupreBowl! Congressman! They should get a life, and worry more about those Enron dudes who stole all that money and not worry about tv! If they are offended they should just turn off the TV!
their choices Or how about the vice president having golf with the CEO of one of the few companies who got awarded the contracts for rebuilding Iraq?
Sorry for the explosion, but as a veteran who just got out of the military Last year, i felt like I am being spit on by the crap politicians are hiding.
Sheesh!
sorry i will get off my soap box and I will lead my crack Panther assassins to knock off a few unwanted politicians.

Re: OT: If You Were God For One Minute
 

If I were God for even a second, I would instantaneously cease to exist!

*Vanishes in a puff of logic.*

Re: OT: If You Were God For One Minute
 

<font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">I agree with Cipher and Narf. If I were God, I would know as much as God and would know there is a reason to leave everything as it is.

Edit: I would appear to be saying the same thing. But really I came up with the same answer as soon as I read the title. Good to know others think the same way.

[ February 22, 2004, 11:52: Message edited by: Randallw ]

Re: OT: If You Were God For One Minute
 

I would create 1,000 smaller gods, so that they make the religions of Earth & Beyond more diverse.(10/60 seconds.)

Manufacture 1 race per planet in the universe, all intelligent, so that competition would occur.(20/60 seconds.)

Create a wave that destroys the universe after 500,000 milleniums, which would prompt a cycle of recreation.(40/60 seconds.)

Forge multiple avatars of myself, which are to be seeded periodically on Earth at varying times. These are to become permenment and powerful legends, through even the recreation cycle.(50/60 seconds.)

I would save the 10 other seconds for use at a desperate time, when the universe is truely threatened by something that may reverse my dictations. (50/60 seconds.)

[ February 22, 2004, 12:39: Message edited by: Sabin ]