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Space Empires Evil Ruler Handbook.
In the spirate of the "If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord" lets develop our own Evil Ruler Hand book.
1. - If your most feared enemy comes alone to your home world and wants to fight you to the death, simply order your ships to destroy his. 2. - If your enemies leave you a huge horse as a war trophy after having appearant beaten them, destroy it where it stands. Do not take it back to your home world! 3. - Glassing a planet is the cheap alternative to landing troops. 4. - When they say they come in peace, don't believe them. 5. - If they run during combat, chase them down and destroy them. 6. - NEVER trust your ministers to rule your empire better than you. 7. - Mine fields are a great for protecting planets early in your empires history. 8. - When choosing racial traits for your empire, choose wisely. 9. - When your ally sends a bunch of lone ship into your Home system, and parks it near your sun, DESTROY IT IMMEDATELY! 10. - If your ally has what you want, declare war upon him and take it by force. 11. - When encountering a new race, first destroy his ship, then offer him a treaty. This is called Gun Boat diplomacy. 12. - Encourage your enemies to colonize within your space. Then land troops on thier planets and collect your new slaves. [ May 24, 2004, 06:39: Message edited by: Atrocities ] |
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13. - A partnership treaty gives you excellent intelligence with which to plan an attack - and you can even re-supply your fleet with their food and fuel first.
Edit: Overlords must have secretaries to check their spelling! [ May 24, 2004, 09:01: Message edited by: Joachim ] |
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14. Start your career from chosing name for yourself and your empire: Malevolent Tyrant of Hatred Stars is not the best name for treacherous villian like you. Philanthropic Patron of Enlightened Democracy is much better.
Edit: missed the baker's dozen http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif [ May 24, 2004, 08:13: Message edited by: aiken ] |
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15. Dark obscure nebulas are friends of Evil Ruler. Find those of them which lies near your rival's Homoworlds, and then send space yard ship there. When you'll be in the position to conquer the galaxy your ships won't need to bypass border defences and could tear up the heart of enemy empire quickly.
[ May 24, 2004, 08:22: Message edited by: aiken ] |
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16. Never play in a PBW game with anyone else who Posts on this thead. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif
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17. If you and your long time ally are stand together against powerful enemy, make your friend a proposal to take over his fleets in order to use the combined forces against your common foe. As soon as you get all the ships - invade your ally's space with his own ships and capture his planets. Such a credulous ruler like him has no right to existence.
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Re: Space Empires Evil Ruler Handbook.
>>3. - Glassing a planet is the cheap alternative >>to landing troops.
Glass the planet with Napalm. Burning aliens make funny noises http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif |
Re: Space Empires Evil Ruler Handbook.
18. Never forget to extensively mine alien race's homeworlds and colonies (especially the ones with shipyards) while under treaty BEFORE you enslave them. It is only for your future slave's protection -- think of the children/nestlings/whatever!
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19. Teach your people to be accustomed to getting by with less. Sauvvy politics is for losers. Likewise radioactives and organics.
[ May 24, 2004, 13:05: Message edited by: Arkcon ] |
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20: If I do need to ensure the safety of a given ship, I will make sure this give has several backups components. Therefore, a Star Destroyer will not have a single Self Destruct Device, but at least five of them to prevent the ship from falling in enemy hands.
21: Likewise, such a decision will to lessen the odds for the crew to disable the said devices, if they would rather surrender than die in the explosion resulting from the self-destruction. 22: If a trade partner has something of value for me, I will not declare war to get this thing. Instead, I will trade for it (by exchanging ships) and will afterwards destroy the ship I have just gifted to this partner. Therefore, I will get this technology to help my Empire in the war to come, without having to grant anything in exchange. (The meanest players may very well build a decoy ship instead, but I wouldn't advice doing so) 23: Contrary to the general belief among Evil Overlords, allies do have their use, as they will do the dirty work on my behalf. Building up distrust between my allies, or any other alliance, does work for the daring Overlord , as long as I make sure nobody fathoms my schemes. 24: Likewise, it is advised to make common cause with weaker Empires than my own, since stronger allies may very well have high demands and will do their best to keep my Empire in check. On the other hand, such an alliance would be a boon for a weak Empire, thus allowing me to exploit them in every possible way. I will remember to limit their own expansion however, as they might be too willing to turn their backs on me at the earliest opportunity. 25: As many of my colleagues have forgotten (even if only their graves are now a testimony of their mistake ; when a grave remains to tell about their rule), I will establish rules on the numbers of children a family is allowed to have on every single world. As soon as the population nears fifty million inhabitants, I will forbid all procreation, for otherwise I would not be able to evacuate this planet at once if an enemy was threatening it. 26: If I intend to capture an enemy world myself, I will make sure to glass a few other planets belonging to the same Empire. Indeed, my new thralls are eager to revolt, and so I need to convince them that their fate is much more enviable than the one of their brothers and sisters. Killing most of them would be the perfect remedy to put these thralls to good work, without having to fear riots or uprisings. 27: Nobility is not to be mixed with politics, and so I will not let emotion pervert wisdom. Therefore, if I have an asset at my disposal, I will use it even if it is said to be "unbalancing" and other such silliness. Moreover, I will not give my ships an inherent weakness to give my opponents the slightest chance of winning. 28: However, it doesn't excluse allowing the defeated Empires to live in peace once they have decided to surrender to my might. In fact, I must crush any leader daring to oppose my righteous rule, but I must also help him to get up once he has fallen to his kness. It will give me a better reputation, as my neighbours will realize I am to be trusted. At least, until I have the strength to destroy them all, and this time there will be no surrender, cease-fire or any kind of treaty. (It is to be noted that I will want to weaken an Empire willing to sue for peace before giving my assent to his request ; after all, he is likely to oppose me in the future, and I do not need to let him remain a threat) |
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29. I would never send a message, like "My awesome armadas are moving to your system XXX to grind it into dust! You're doomed, muawahahaha!", to my enemy before general attack. Those good rulers are sometime sly enough to disturb the best evil plan, so I won't give them an additional chance.
[ May 24, 2004, 15:34: Message edited by: aiken ] |
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31. While allies can be useful at times, always remember: If they show the slightest sign of weakness, wipe their putrid stench from the galaxy. After all, they were just waiting for the opportunity to do the same to you.
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32. To prevent your enemies from discovering the location of your homeworld, put an innocuous looking "This storm appears to be opaque to most scanners" storm over it http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif
Well it WOULD work, were scanners not so easy to research http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif |
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33. - Never underestimate the power of stellor manipulation. A good cloaked star killer parked in orbit around your enemies sun is worth a 100 ships on that systems Warp Point.
34. - A "explorer ship" is a prelued to an invasion fleet, destory any such ships that enter your space. 35. - Treaties are meant to be broken. |
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36. A cloaked star kiler parked in orbit of you ally's sun is worth more than one around your enemy's
37. Obscuring storms are good places to build star bases and fleets. Especially if that storm is in an enemy's system. 38. Capturing and analyzing an enemy colony ship is cheaper than researching a new colony technology. 39. Having an enemy race that breaths the same atmosphere as you is a good excuse for jettisoning captured population in to space. 40. When you laugh, use your diaphragm. MUHAWHAWHAWHAW!! (and always use at least two exclamation points) 41. Make a ship set that's entirely black. (That's so evil it's cheating) [ May 24, 2004, 18:23: Message edited by: Urendi Maleldil ] |
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46. I will always remember that obsurcing storms are useless against scanner technology and not base my entire strategy on my Fleet of Doom lurking invisible in one.
[ May 24, 2004, 19:05: Message edited by: Phoenix-D ] |
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42: I will acknowledge that there are actual threats which may be lurking in the least welcoming corners of space, waiting to endanger my Empire (and above all, my life). Therefore, I will set up a very tight blockade around any red nebulae which happens to be too close to my worlds for my liking. Mines and spy ships are to be deployed in the wormholes leading to such nebulaes, for there is no way of detecting an enemy ship in the mist of the interfeces of such systems. As soon as the technology is available, I am to close the wormholes leading to these awful systems, while keeping a close eye on any wormhole being opened directly to this nebulae.
43: I will remember that having too big an Empire is ground for being declared "Mega Evil Empire", especially if I am regarded as being a successful Evil Overlord. Therefore, I will do my best to hide the true strength of my Empire, while maintaining the façade of a peaceful and enlightened leader. Obviously, I will not appear as a weakling either, since I would then be a likely target for another would-be Overlord. If my Empire seems to be the most powerful in the galaxy, paranoia is the wisest course of action to take, as your allies might be plotting to bring you down as you are reading these lines. 44: If I ever happen to have the slightest doubt about something, don't. Only a lunatic Overlord would take any chance when it can be avoided by careful planning, and so I will gather the best intelligence available fore making any move. Thus I will create the Space Patrol to act as cannon-fodder and suicidal reconnaissance, and these bold scouts going where angels fear to tread will mostly be my too intelligent advisors and other threats to national security (and to my own hide, obviously). 45: Research will be my sole priority, for even vast numbers of ships will avail little if they cannot hit the enemy or do any significant damage. I will not consider giving my technology away to petty allies and cunning foes either, but instead I will do my best to find a weakling ruler willing to enter an unilateral technological exchange with my Empire. In exchange for my protection, this Empire will focus on specific areas for my exclusive benefit, areas not critical if possible. (It would not do, for example, if my partner decided to give away on a whim the secrets of the fabled Stellar Destruction device to my arch-nemesis) [ May 24, 2004, 19:05: Message edited by: Alneyan ] |
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43. When my wonderful citizens are under attack on colony ships and transports I will overrule any sort of command/coup/uprising and order them to ram the enemy ships. A couple million Citizens is nothing compared to saving my illustrious reign (and hide)
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47. Always trade ships with either no engines or no weapons
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48. I'll welcome rulers who are willing to trade with me. But I'll ascertain that hypnotic code, which forces my partner to accept trade without viewing for details, is included into trade message. After that I'll put all the partner's planets, ships and techs to my Want list. Square deals should be favorable for me, first of all.
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49. - Never over look diplomacy. It can be a useful tool for your empire in your quest to rule the universe.
50. - War is a game of chess that neither sides is trained to play well at the onset, but as time progresses, tactics and strategies are learned until finally one side will have the knowledge to win. And in the future, if they fail to employ the lessons they have learned in one war in the next, then they are doomed to serve in heaven while their dead enemies rule in hell. [ May 25, 2004, 20:05: Message edited by: Atrocities ] |
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There must be more we can add to this. Come on now, think! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif
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51: I will never refer to myself in the third person. It is a sure sign of psychosis and if I do so I will immediatly seek professional help.
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Narf, that should read:
His Supreme Eminence will never refer to himself in the third person. It is a sure sign of psycosis, but anyone who dares to make such accusations will be executed. |
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LOL Please keep them coming.
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59. Major Displays of your power can be achieved by constructing masses of only the BIGGEST Hulls available to you. Nothing says "Evil Overlord!" like 20 battlemoons hovering over an enemies planet (It also helps that these massive displays of power can fight back! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif )
60. In the Universe nothing is "Pro Bono" if Empire A sincerely wishes to help you with no strings attached/threats/requests or Star Destroyers hovering in your space then you must either... a.) Go to bed, "One more turn Syndrome" is bad enough, sleep deprivation making you believe a decleration of war is such a request is entirely another. b.) Thank them courteously, inform all the other empires that Empire A's enemies (Empire B) intend to betray them all. This will force a pre emptive strike on Empire B allowing you to take the Foolish Empire A intact for your own wicked purposes/desires/fetishes/do we need to say anymore Captain Kirk wannabe???! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif . c.) If both of these make no sense you are obviously an ancient evil twisted emperor who rules with an iron fist....BUT builds ships with exposed exhaust ports and suspended walkways with no railings. You have become one with the force and George Luca's bad script writing *shudder* [ May 26, 2004, 23:33: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ] |
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61. When first encountering a new alien race, kill first then ask questions later. They must know you mean business (and the whole universe is yours anyway)
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52: While following a fixed schedule is very fine, I shall not strictly abide by it. Even the best of my plans can be countered, giving my crafty foes the window of opportunity they sought. Likewise, I will strive to remain unpredictable, as information is a powerful weapon to be used against my rule.
53: I will keep in mind not everybody is as perfect as myself. Therefore, I will handle everything happening in my Empire, leaving trifling matters such as the colour of my ships to the care of AIs. Besides, my Councillors will be entrusted with most of my knowledge, although their poor minds does not allow them to grasp all that they learnt. In other words, I will give them wrong information, in case they decided to turn traitor. 54: Likewise, I will not be too open about my secrets when I need to let my allies into my cunning schemes. Instead, I will feed them with partial truths and contradictory statements, allowing me to know if they compared their notes. If it is so, I will know they are too talkative, and will not put any trust in them. 55: I will apply the "Worst Case Scenario" approach to every problem. In the previous example, I would consider that the allies who did not openly react to my bogus information are not trustworthy. Indeed, they did not ask me to clarify my data, and so are not sincere enough and will not report to me anything out of the ordinary. (It could also mean these allies are too honest to share their knowledge with their other partners ; but I have no use for such allies) 56: Despite my obvious qualities, I will not forget I am still prone to having a few weaknesses. If my enemies send the most attractive creature (according to my fetishes/tastes) I have ever seen to act as an envoy, I will exerce caution and will only negociate with him/her/it through old-fashionned text-based communications. 57: I will remember that Murphy's Law applies everywhere in the galaxy, and so will take appropriate measures to lessen its impact. Therefore, I will not put a single Quantum Reactor in my war fleets, for the ship powered by this fabled device will be the first one to be destroyed in a battle. (Or even by a rogue asteroid, or other such hazards) 58: When dealing with my allies, I will remember to follow the basic rules of diplomacy. What I give to them will be as precise as possible, while my own demands should be as vague as you can get. Thus I will grant my partner the right to colonize Solaris III, the Gas Giant orbiting Solaris Major, whose characteristics are as follow: - Diameter: 142,984 km - Planetary Mass: 1.89x1027 kg - Average Distance from the Sun: 5.203 AU - Atmospheric Composition: Mostly Hydrogen and Helium. (And so on) In exchange, I will ask to be allowed to colonize a few planets in their systems. |
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Turn off the mega evil empire lol and even when you are huge no one attacks you - its the easiest way to win a game lol
That and make all the advanced racial characterisitcs worth 10 points a piece lol - that way psychic, religious, cyrstaline, temporal and others are all youres at once. Nothing like a ship armed with psychic crew conVersion, religious device that always htis its target, cyrstaline shields, organic armour, temporal shipyards and tech on ships. |
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62. If reasonably possible, force enemy populations to surrender. Then, when the inevitable rebellion occurs, you can wipe out a few billion of the aliens....both to crush the rebellion, and show your power to your people. This display will, of course, forestall any rebellion by your own population, with the added bonus of killing a few billion filthy aliens!
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63. Everyone who Posts on this thread is your sworn enemy.
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64: I will put a strong emphasis on exploration and discovery of alien races, as all knowledge regarding my enemies has to be obtained as quickly as possible. As an added bonus, it will allow me to go to war with the said alien race all the sooner, without hopefully an ally around to help them. It is worth mentioning the aforementioned exploration will be carried over by my most intelligent councillors, as I do not want them to remain anywhere near the seat of power. They might have a few fancy notions about who should rule *my* Almighty Empire after all.
65: No matter how developed my ego is, I will focus on efficiency rather than on displaying my wealth/power/technological prowess. Therefore, I will not dabble in building a Sphereworld with no less than 240 Cultural Centers when an enemy fleet is bombarding my palace. In other circumstances, I will think twice before building Baseships with massive-mounted weaponry and no Quantum Reactor or additional supply storage, even if such ships would be quite a sight to behold. 66: Despite my undying love for ships able to dash damage, death, decay and destruction (and other nice words starting with D) on a grand scale, I will not overlook the need for Repair Bays and a space yard or two. My Invincible Armada is not that useful when all the ships have been disabled during a skirmish. Similarly, if I find that the cravens I am fighting have taken up the habit of boarding all my ships, a space yard would allow me to add a Security Station or two on every single ship of the fleet. Thus I will be spared the embarrassment of losing twelve Battlemoons (each requiring two whole *years* to be completed) to a force of twelve lowly Escorts equipped with two Boarding Parties V each. 67: My very first decision as an Evil Overlord will be to assert my claims on the whole galaxy through the Borders window. After all, my Empire does not have any border, for its boundary is the end of the universe itself. Thanks to my outstanding intellect, I will be able to claim ownership of systems I have yet to visit, even if such a move might slightly upset the bloodthirsty Talisman-wielders. (They were dwelling in their holy haven, which unfortunately happened to be seven sectors away from my palace. How annoying.) 68: I will take up learning the Drow tongue to name my ships (or any similar language that isn't widely known), so as to make my design names as hard to figure out as possible. I will be using a naming scheme based on various irrelevant data, such as the position of the four moons orbiting my homeworld at a given moment or my latest fancy. Due to this, I might send in the "Mrimmd'ssinss" Stellar Manipulation ship to make a recon in an enemy system rather than the "Mrannd'ssinss" Explorer ship, but I deem such a problem to be worth the headaches my design names will bring to my foes. 69: As my memory is not as good as it used to be, I will store all I need to remember in my fleets' name, as nobody can know what secrets lie there in the open. A typical fleet name will be: "Invading Fleet, composed of 77 warships and 14 support ships. Spouse's birthday on November 14th. These silly aliens cannot read what I am writing on them, even while the knowledge needed for them to save their hides is displayed here. Work meeting tomorrow at 9 am. A Stellar Destroyer is in the fleet to destroy the alien's homesystem. Buy something to eat when going back home tonight." As shown in the previous example, I may taunt my enemies to my leisure as well, although it does seem pointless since they will not know about it. |
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QUOTE: "57. Despite my obvious qualities, I will not forget I am still prone to having a few weaknesses. If my enemies send the most attractive creature (according to my fetishes/tastes) I have ever seen to act as an envoy, I will exercise caution and will only negotiate with him/her/it through old-fashioned text-based communications. "
Is that "text-based" or "touch-based"? Are they the same? (touch-typists, you know...)... |
Re: Space Empires Evil Ruler Handbook.
Hmm, any medium of communication where you cannot see/touch/smell/hear the envoy ought to work well enough.
However, I would like to make an addendum on this, as it should be more along these lines: 57': Besides, the said communications will be based on SEIV diplomatical system, where you can choose between various actions and select your tone. I will not give the envoy the leisure to write their own Messages however, lest they should manage to bewitch me through the clever use of words. |
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Space Empires, Evil Ruler Handbook Updated.
Also please note that the next number is 71 http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif |
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71. If you ever capture the leader of an enemy empire, and they demand a fair trial, give it to him. That way, the populace is kept happy, because even to your most hated enemy you are fair and just, and if he's convicted and sentenced to death, well, all the better. However, if for some reason he is acquitted of his crimes, have a backup plan ready. As the enemy is going on his merry way from your supreme court, ensure that a suitable "accident" befalls him. For example, a meteor falling from the sky escapes your detection and crushes the car he's travelling in. Whatever you do, make sure he's dead, and can never oppose you again.
[ May 29, 2004, 03:08: Message edited by: Renegade 13 ] |
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Then, with careful media management, you can convince his people that he is still alive and in charge, and, through some brilliant public negotiations (in which you control both sides of the debate) your two nations can come to some kind of 'peaceful co-existance' (ie, you absorb his empire completely.) |
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72. I will give up only one secret to my success as an Evil Emperor. If anyone askes me what that secret is, I will point to Rule number 72. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif
[ May 28, 2004, 19:16: Message edited by: Parasite ] |
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Renegade yours should have been 71 and not 70. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif |
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73. I will always be suspicious of a planet that bears the words "abundance of carnivorous flora" in it's description and yet, is reported to have "optimal" conditions.
74. I will note that the flavor of Phong is reminiscent of sharp cheddar. |
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Renegade yours should have been 71 and not 70. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="sans-serif, arial, verdana">Oops... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/blush.gif I even read that; just slipped my mind when I posted http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif . Sorry about that. I've edited and fixed it. |
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