Yew maht be uh Jehd-eye redneck if...
 

You might be a redneck Jedi if...

1. You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all."
2. Your Jedi robe is camouflage-colored.
3. You have ever used your lightsaber to open a bottle of Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill.
4. At least one wing of your X-Wing is primer colored.
5. You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder.
6. You can easily describe the taste of Ewok.
7. You have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.
8. You ever lost a hand during a lightsaber fight because you had to spit.
9. The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.
10. Wookies are offended by your B.O.
11. You have ever used the Force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.
12. You have ever used the Force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.
13. Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son, come on over to the dark side...it'll be a hoot."
14. You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light.
15. You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your landspeeder.
16. Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women.
17. You have ever accidentally referred to Stormtroopers as "them damn Yankees."
18. You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.
19. You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with a redwood deck.
20. You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels on the rocks during the cantina scene.

http://www.incompetech.com/gallimauf...i_redneck.html

Re: Yew maht be uh Jehd-eye redneck if...
 

21. You have the highest known concentration of midichlorians, because of inbreeding.
22. You discover that the woman in your love triangle, you-your best friend-the girl,is your sister and it don't make a damn bit of difference.

Re: Yew maht be uh Jehd-eye redneck if...
 

23. You make a stupid topic such as this one.

Re: Yew maht be uh Jehd-eye redneck if...
 

NA, you prolly don't know this but a while back there were over half a dozen threads like this one. They're all dead now, but up until a few months ago (about 1 month after I registered) they were very much alive.

23. (ignoring NA's comment) If you enrage both Ewoks and Wookiees by saying "ah, all those furry critters, they're all the same ter me."
24. If you abstain from using a lightsaber and use a shotgun instead.
25. If, in the above case, you modified your shotgun and had it emit a buzzing sound to fool other Jedi into thinking it was a lightsaber.

Re: Yew maht be uh Jehd-eye redneck if...
 

26. If you try using your own 'modifications' to your lightsaber in combat, and accidentally blow something up.

Re: Yew maht be uh Jehd-eye redneck if...
 

27. If your light saber is also your razer.
28. If your the reason why warning labels were added to Light Sabers
29. If you became a Jedi only to meet chicks
30. You speeder has a Light Saber rack.
31. If you named your light Saber after your mother/sister.
32. The fact that you named your light saber
33. You think the little Green guy would make for some "my'tee fine eat'n."
34. If you have ever used your light saber to skin a TaunTaun.
35. If you practice throwing your light saber at the broad side of a barn without using force powers.
36. If you have ever used an R2 unit for sex.
37. If You are heavily attracted to female wookiee's
38. If your X-wing is painted Orange with blue stripes and white stars.
39. If you think teenage girls are space angels come to rescue you.
40. If you have ever lit a cigerret with your light saber.

Re: Yew maht be uh Jehd-eye redneck if...
 

Han Solo is a redneck?

Re: Yew maht be uh Jehd-eye redneck if...
 

41. Your Varmint rifle has an eletronic scope and night vision



Hangs head in shame

Re: Yew maht be uh Jehd-eye redneck if...
 

You might be a redneck Jedi if...

42. you forsake your Jedi robes for a pair of blue jeans, a baseball cap, and a pod racing t-shirt.
43. force powers means never having to look for the remote control again.
44. you have a mullet that isn't made of tentacles.
45. one of your force powers is spitting tobacco over really long distances.
46. while blasters might be too random, a bow and arrows with a stick of dynamite never fails to find its mark.
47. you find storm trooper helmets make mighty fine spit buckets.
48. your x-wing has bumper stickers.
49. one or more of the parts or your x-wing are held on by duct tape.
50. you refer to the Death Star's primary weapon as the super varmit gun.
--
TAZ

Re: Yew maht be uh Jehd-eye redneck if...
 

51. You hunt womp rats.

Re: Yew maht be uh Jehd-eye redneck if...
 

For breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Re: Yew maht be uh Jehd-eye redneck if...
 

Re: Yew maht be uh Jehd-eye redneck if...
 

"Bad jedi policy no sex was!" - Yoda Upon learning that lack of noogie drove Anikin to marry Padme, have sex, concieve children, and hide this from the order in order to remain a Jedi. "If only the Jedi were allowed to have sex then perhaps none of this would have ever happened Master." - Obi Won

Re: Yew maht be uh Jehd-eye redneck if...
 

52 Upon reading Atrocities statement you wonder if your sister counts.

(warning the below are rated PG-13 for mild retardation and extreem redneckism)
52b. Upon reading AT's statement you make a "handle your own lightsaber" joke.

52c. If your a girl you make the 52b joke except in reference to "I wonder if lightsaber's vibrate".

BTW you'd figure the Jedi could learn to uh you know....polish their own lightsabers http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

Re: Yew maht be uh Jehd-eye redneck if...
 

[bad taste comment]
Or they learn to polish each others light saber like the Spartans did.
[/bad taste comment]

Re: Yew maht be uh Jehd-eye redneck if...
 

Meh that falls under sex http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...ies/tongue.gif

Although that was a lame *** rule "No marriage no sex" think about it if you let the Jedi marry the Lady Jedi or "Jediettes" you get more little Jedi which means you don't have to search the galaxy for a few thousand per generation and instead you could both search the galaxy AND get more "in order" Jedi births which means more younglings and a proportionally larger Jedi force.

Anyway I like the New Jedi Order as far as I can see it in the games http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gifI haven't actually been able to read the books http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/frown.gif but I hear they actually kick ***.

Re: Yew maht be uh Jehd-eye redneck if...
 

I've read most of the New Jedi Order books, and I like them. There are a few exceptions, but most of them are very well written. One of the major differences from previous books is that the "must live" list of characters seems severely reduced, and a fair number of those still on it are largely peripheral characters in most of the books. This means there is actually the occasional moment of suspense where you really do wonder whether a particular protagonist is going to make it out alive. In particular, there are enough Jedi now that being one doesn't automatically put you on the list of characters that can't die. Heck, it doesn't even guarantee that you'll be a major character any more; at least two Jedi get knocked off in the same scene where they're introduced.

Re: Yew maht be uh Jehd-eye redneck if...
 

Sounds interesting could you PM me a full list of the New Jedi Order books?

Re: Yew maht be uh Jehd-eye redneck if...
 

Chewbacca dies in the first book when a moon is dropped on him http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

Re: Yew maht be uh Jehd-eye redneck if...
 

Please avoid posting spoilers here, NullAshton, especially in response to someone who has already stated he hasn't read the books.

The New Jedi Order series starts with Vector Prime by R. A. Salvatore. The rest of the books were written by several different authors, most good, some less so, but the general plot is quite good. If you decide partway through a particular book that it's not very good, you should still finish it to avoid missing plot points that will be important in later, better books. The full list is:

Vector Prime
Dark Tide I: Onslaught
Dark Tide II: Ruin
Agent of Chaos I: Hero's Trial
Agent of Chaos II: Jedi Eclipse
Balance Point
Recovery (e-book, included in the paperback version of Star by Star)
Edge of Victory I: Conquest
Edge of Victory II: Rebirth
Star by Star
Dark Journey
Enemy Lines I: Rebel Dream
Enemy Lines II: Rebel Stand
Traitor
Destiny's Way
Ylesia (e-book, available for download at sw.com)
Force Heretic I: Remnant
Force Heretic II: Refugee
Force Heretic III: Reunion
The Final Prophecy
The Unifying Force

Re: Yew maht be uh Jehd-eye redneck if...
 

Please do not ever say "younglings" again. I cringed in pain every time that word was uttered in the movie... oi. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...ies/stupid.gif

Re: Yew maht be uh Jehd-eye redneck if...
 

YOUNGLINGS YOUNGLINGS YOUNGLINGS!!!!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...ies/tongue.gif

53. Instead of meditating, you go to the local Cantina and get dead drunk on Force Beer.
54. If, after doing 53, when you drive home you catch up with a low-flying TIE Fighter.
55. If, after pulling a 54, you scream at the TIE Fighter to "git the hill offa ma prapertee!" and fire a few shots with your shotgun.

Re: Yew maht be uh Jehd-eye redneck if...
 

56. You have your X-Wing fitted with shotguns instead of laser cannons.

Re: Yew maht be uh Jehd-eye redneck if...
 

57. You're using a damaged x-wing nosecone for a bird bath.

Re: Yew maht be uh Jehd-eye redneck if...
 

and 58. Your front yard looks like the back lot at Wato's.

Re: Yew maht be uh Jehd-eye redneck if...
 

59. "Whah is theyre ah big wall-keen carrpit stayndin' next ter the entrince ter yer stAArsheep, Han?"