Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon
 

OK, this is a wee bit gross, so if you're of a queasy disposition you might just want to skip over this and go read the latest installment of Hell is for Heroes, before I add the next bit. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif






Still with me? OK, so I'm up at 3:20am at the moment mostly on account of jetlag, and there's this infomercial on the telly about some natural health product or another, where the promoter is claiming that a lot of the minor ill health effects we feel nowadays (ie: chronic tiredness, etc) is due to the fact that we're carrying around a bunch of undigested fecal matter in our colons. Told you this was gross. Now while I normally wouldn't argue the point, aside from the fact that undigested fecal matter is an oxymoron, given that it's not fecal matter until it's at least partially digested, before that it's just undigested food.

The 'Health Expert' (that's what the show calls him. Not even a doctor?) claims that people have 15-40 POUNDS of this gunk stuck on their colon walls. Now what is want to know is, is the colon actually that big? I'm a fairly big guy and even I feel uncomfortably full if I eat more that about a pound or two, and I always thought the colon was smaller than the stomach. So how can one have even 15lbs just coating the walls, let alone filling the whole colon? It just don't make no dang sense to me.

Too tired to think of another shameless Hell is for Heroes plug, so just go read the damn thing. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...es/biggrin.gif

Re: Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon
 

Perhaps this gunk is awfully dense, somewhere on the order of lead. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...ies/tongue.gif

Re: Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon
 

...Personally, I still say that extra 40 pounds is fat. It's the better explanation.

Re: Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon
 

ROTFLMAO!!! (oops, there goes 40 lbs...)

Re: Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon
 

If there was that much weight just sitting there, I think I'd feel it clunking around in my guts after a while http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

Re: Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon
 

As a physician, I think this is incorrect. The fact is that if you go in for a colonoscopy (the large intestine), you take the preparation (horrible tasting liquid) that does make you use the bathroom quite a bit over about a 12 hour period, but folks don't lose 40 pounds. Their colons are cleared out to allow the scope to see the walls/polyps, etc.

Most of these informercials are not substantiated by scientific fact. Just buy the snake oil and be done with it http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif

Re: Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon
 

For most people, it takes about 24 hours for food to transit the digestive system. So you'd have to eat at least 40 pounds of food a day to keep 40 pounds in various stages of digestion.

More actually, allowing for absorption of water and other nutrients.

Re: Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon
 

Infomercials in Ireland? The terrorists have already won!

Re: Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon
 

Ah, don't worry. I'm in Canada visiting my folks. Hence the jetlag. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif I figured it probably wasn't physically possible for someone to have that much crap (pardon the pun) sitting inside them. But I tells ya, this infomercial was something else. It was set up like a panel show, where the two hosts grill the guest on various aspects of their platform, except unlike decent panel shows where the guest actually gets grilled, every single question the 'hosts' asked was obviously designed to make yet another statement as to the wonderousness of his new product, with absolutely no follow up.
Host: "But is it safe?"
Guest: "It's perfectly safe."
Host: "Amazing. And how does it work again?"

And the funniest thing? The guest used the 'fact' that his kids had bigger, thicker and longer faeces that his. In his own words, his 5 year old was expelling something the 'length and thickness' of the guests arm, and this was taken as evidence that there was something wrong with the guest's digestive tract. Now I don't know about you but if I had a five year old that was dumping logs the size and thickness of my arm, I'd be more concerned about the state of his digestive tract than my own.

And what's this sicko doing poking through his kids poo anyway?

Re: Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon
 

I was thinking the exact same thing! There is something seriously wrong...with both the kid and the parent! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/shock.gif

Re: Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon
 

Get that kid to a doctor, and get his parent to a psychiatrist!

Re: Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon
 

Perhaps he meant the size of 40 British one pound coins? I mean, it technically is "40 pounds". And I could believe that there's a bunch of crap about the size of a roll of coins lurking around in there...

But, of course, it's an infomercial. It's all about crap anyway. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/cool.gif

Re: Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon
 

Or two £20 notes..?

You'll probably find that there is one world-record case of some hugely obese, chronically constipated McPerson who hasn't moved their arse or bowels for the last six months and subsequently had 40 pounds of gunk hanging around in their bowels. The advertisers then use this exceptional case as a benchmark to convince the audience that this could apply to them. If you (can stand to) watch the ad really carefully you'll probably catch a reference early on that says something like "did you know that you could have up to forty pounds of blah blah blah". Note the words "could have" and "up to". These indicators of vagueness are quietly dropped almost immediately and the idea that *you* are carrying the poo equivalent of quintuplets in your digestive tract is portrayed more and more as a certainty as the ad continues.

EDIT: Rremin me why we're having this conversation again?

Re: Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon
 

Males and poop jokes?

Re: Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon
 

OK, you wanna know where it went totally over the top? Like I mentioned above, the 'health expert' guest claimed his kids were dropping logs the size and thickness of HIS arm. Not his kid's arm, HIS. And he figured out there was something wrong with him because he thought his should be proportionatly the same size. PROPORTIONATLY?! That would mean a 'healthy' human adult would be having a bowel movement that was BIGGER THAN THEIR LEG! Well, he was right about one thing, there is something very, very wrong with him, but I think it's a bit north of his digestive tract.

Re: Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon
 

*dogscoff produces a turd the size of a small urban light-rail commuter train.

*dogscoff airs it as an infomercial.

Re: Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon
 

LOL, that's nasty!

But hey, on the topic of crap, anyone catch the second part of Category 7: End of the World? Yeah, crap. I mean, in the end, they disperse the storm by shutting off all the power in DC which drops the temperature by a few degrees which apparently is enough to disperse a storm in seconds?! Maybe I'm spoilt in Ireland since we don't import the crap, but I was thinking with shows like CSI etc, we were finally getting away from that whole junk science thing. I mean, at least put an effort into coming up with a plausible ending to the story? Seriously, correct me if I'm wrong, but once you get a big nasty storm on your front yard, the only thing left is to ride it out and hope for the best. After all, the electricity supply is usually the first thing to go, and I've been through a lot of nasty storms and none of them have magically disappeared within a few seconds of the lights going out.

Once again, made-for-TV movies have screwed me out of another two hours I want back.

Bleh....

Re: Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon
 

But weather controlling machines are so cool! Who cares if we don't know what we are talking about, we are Hollywood writers! Don't ever go work for Hollywood AZ, it will turn your writing into a log the size of my forearm.

Re: Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon
 

CSI is hardly decent science, you know. Actually most shows on TV aren't; any time they go anywhere near my specialty (biology) it makes me cringe.

Which casts very strong doubts on the rest of it, especially given that I can pick out ridiclous stuff elsewhere, as well.

Re: Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon
 

But if you can suspend your disbelief, it can be worth watching.

Re: Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon
 

Exactly. I mean, I've heard CSI isn't exact science and all that, but they at least make it fairly easy to suspend one's disbelief. But that Category 7 malarky, well, one would have to be a mentally deficient turkey with a lobotomy to have been able to suspend one's disbelief on that one.

Re: Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon
 

But technology is *EVIL!!

* Now lets see those people live out in the wilderness for say, ten years.

Re: Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon
 

*Happily raise his hand*

Re: Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon
 

Droppping the temperature a few degrees wouldn't cause a storm to disippate(sp?, especially if it is a large storm with lots of momentum built up. Usually those storm create their own temperature and weather patterns. When we get hurricanes here, teh temperature usually drops by several degrees any ways.

Re: Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon
 

While we are on the topic of crappy infomercials....

I saw this one latenight infomercial by this one alledged baptist preacher. He was selling these green money cloths that if you prayed with them at least twice a day, they would bring you "untold" riches. Notice te key thing is that you have to buy them from him for about ten dollars for a four by four inch scrap of cloth. Being a christian myself, I know that this is all a bunch of crap but the commercial was quite funny...



(Note: please do not start another religion flame war again. PLEASE.)

Re: Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon
 

Not starting a religious flame war, don't worry (checks the charge on his Logic-o-Matic brand flamethrower, just in case) but unless those little strips of cloth were VIP passes into heaven, I don't see how what he's doing can be squared away with the Christian faith he claims to profess. From what I remember of my Catholic upbringing (which isn't much, thank's to the miracle drug, Represitol!) one of the basic concepts of Christianity is that you don't get squat in this world, because the "untold riches" await you in the next, and that those with more in this world will have less in the next. Hmmmm.... Maybe those little cloths DO work, and he's trying to make everyone on Earth filthy rich in order to stake out a bigger piece of the pie in the next life.





Ah, well, I'm going to Hell anyway. I'll take four! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...ies/tongue.gif



Edit: Typo!

Re: Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon
 

Lot was filthy rich and totally righteous. It's not the money, it's the love of money.

Re: Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon
 

Thank you narf.

Re: Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon
 

You're welcome. Random trivia, *anytime.

* Offer not valid.

Re: Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon
 

Yay! I'm back in Ireland! Yay! And my flatmates have managed to royally bugger my computer. Boo!

Um, by the way, didn't Lot have his home and all his worldy possessions destroyed by God, have his wife turned into salt, and end up living in a cave where he ended up impregnating his two virgin daughters? Not exactly the poster boy for rich & righteous if you ask me...

Re: Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon
 

Different Lot; there were more than one of them

Although the other Lot also had his worldy possesions destroyed, his sons killed, his wife left him and he was stricken with leprosy, I beleive, he ended up with twice as much stuff, sons that weren't drunk most of the time and no disease. (I can't remember if his wife came back or he got a new one)

It's the part of the Bible that gave us the phrase 'The Lord giveth, the Lord taketh away, blessed be the name of the Lord.' - Said while sitting in the dirt, diseased.

Re: Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon
 

"The last shall become first, and the first shall become last"

Not sure of the exact phrasing, but that's the general idea.

Also, Lot's "comforters" weren't exactly nice guys when he was diseased, with boils covering his body, etc. Not nice guys at all, if I remember correctly. Was it his wife who said "curse god and die" ?? Or one of his "friends"? In either case, not something I'd say to a spouse, or a friend!!

Re: Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon
 

Just to clearify, I believe you guys may be confusing this Lot with Job. Job is the one who lost his children, his livestock, was cursed with leoprasy and his wife said to curse God and die.
(Another note: the reason that she said that is because she and Job both thought God was causing the calamities. Little did they know that it was actually Satan taking everything away from him. This account was the ultimate example of integrity.)
He did end up gaining double what he had before. Oh, and Narf, it was the same wife who came back to him.
Now Lot on the other hand lived in the city of Sodom just before it was destroyed.
While leaving his wife looked back and was turned into a pillar of salt.

AgentZero: You are right when speaking of Lot losing all he had and impregnating his daughters. But they were the ones to initiate it.
Lot later moved from Zoar and began dwelling in a cave in a mountainous region. The prospective sons-in-law of Lot evidently died in Sodom, so Lot’s two daughters were without mates. They caused their father unwittingly to have sexual relations with them while he was under the influence of wine. This they did to preserve offspring from their father. As a result, each daughter had a son, from whom the Moabites and the Ammonites descended.

Anyways, this thread should get back on topic...

Re: Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon
 

Right, thanks.

Re: Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon
 

Ach, knew I had something wrong. Thanks for the correction.

Re: Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon
 

Or larger, his upper leg! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/eek.gif

Re: Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon
 

I thought an Ammonite was a swirly fossilised giant snail thing.

Re: Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon
 

Names get re-used.

Re: Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon
 

Ack! It's happening again! TV's been screwy the last few days & we can only get one station, so I just sat through part one of a piece of drivel called Supernova. Self explanatory, it's about people suddenly realizing the sun's about to go supernova. Of course, no one bothered to mention to the writers that our sun isn't big enough to go boom and they didin't even bother coming up with a half-baked excuse for why it suddenly can, which leads me to believe they didn't bother checking. Shoddy bit of fact-checking, that.
Plus there's an American news reporter with an English accent, and I've never heard an American reporter with a regional accent, much less a foreign one. Shoddy bit of casting, that.
And finally, there's a bit where our hero is brought to a massive underground city, designed to support enough people to create the genetic diversity required for the species to survive. Implausible, I thinks, but at least someone in the movie isn't totally daft. But our hero's reaction to it. "This is madness!" And a failed attempt to escape. Now the hero is a) supposedly very intelligent and b) believes the sun is about to explode, so one would think he'd be rather pleased that someone's come up with a way for some of humanity to survive, if they have any chance at all, but no! He thinks it's a terrible idea. Apparently the total annihilation of all human life is ok, as long as you get to spend it with friends & family. Shoddy bit of writing that.

Re: Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon
 

How exactly would burying yourself in an underground city protect you from a supernova? Might as well try to protect yourself from an atom bomb by opening an umbrella...

Re: Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon
 

Well, obviously, it won't. If the sun actually goes nova. However, at this point that's just the leading theory. If the sun didn't go nova (which it CAN'T!), but did something else that made the surface of the planet uninhabitable, then an underground city at least gives some of the species a slim chance of survival (and not just humanity, mind you, they've stockpiled the DNA of thousands of other species. Coz cloning is just so easy doncha know). And hey, slim's always better than none.

Re: Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon
 

At that point they mightas well have just attached huge rockets to one side of the earth and flown it to another star. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/smirk.gif Iv'e never cared for any of those disaster movies, disaster indeed.

Re: Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon
 

A humongous solar flare would be a slightly more plausible (and survivable) menace than a nova/supernova. Larry Niven used this device in his story "Inconstant Moon".

Re: Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon
 

Yes, well I'm thinking it'll probably end up being something similar, since all these 'disaster movie' writers seem obsessed with happy endings, the concept of having the sun going blooie and killing everyone likely wasn't on their list of possible endings. But I'll probably end up watching the second part to it, if only to assure myself that if talentless hacks like them can get work, then there's still hope for me.

By the way, if anyone has any ideas on getting around writer's block, I and the fans of Hell is for Heroes would much appreciate your sharing. So far I've tried excersize, drink, banging my head against a wall, and a little wink wink nudge nudge. All to no avail. And those are the only cures I know. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/frown.gif

Re: Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon
 

Mmm...Just start writing?

Re: Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon
 

Play some SE4? Maybe some P&N as a pirate for that small scale focus.

Re: Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon
 

There is a tendency to think of the star going nova as equal to a huge bomb that would send out a pressure wave destroying everything around it. The mind-boggling amount of energy might well vaporize planets that are too close, but outside a certain radius you are really not looking at a 'shockwave' but something akin to a huge 'solar flare' radiating in all directions. Space is mostly empty after all. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif The pressure wave would be reduced at a very high rate just like radiation intensity (Inverse square law and all that: http://www.ndt-ed.org/EducationResou...sesquare.htm).

Sure, the surface of a planet would be heavily irradiated, and even scoured of its atmosphere. But unless it was very close to the star (like Mercury) the solid body of the planet could probably survive. So the underground city makes some sort of sense. The thing is, the planet would then be dead. How long could a human-managed ecosystem with no 'margin for error' survive? Judging by the examples provided by the history of previous human civilizations, which almost all destroyed themselves through mismanagement of their own natural resources in much more forgiving circumstances, not very long...

Re: Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon
 

The thing is, not only is the sun not large enough to go 'nova' but it wouldn't happen on anything like the time scale that we of the "quarterly balance statement culture" can comprehend. It would take billions more years for the sun to build up enough 'ash' (heavier elements than hydrogen and helium) in its core to become unstable.

Re: writer's block

Write something else for a while. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/happy.gif

Although I also like the idea of playing a game of SE4, or SE5 if you happen to be a beta tester. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/wink.gif This also exercises your mind in new ways and will help to change those ruts you've fallen into.

Re: Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon
 

What's the nature of the writer's block?

A. I know what needs to happen, but I don't know how I want to write it, i.e. plot is clear but implementation is hazy.

B. I don't know what I want to happen next, i.e. I'm stuck for a plot.

C. ??

Re: Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon
 

C, I guess. I know what needs to happen, and how I want to write it, but when I sit down to write, I just blank. Normally when I write, it just sort of flows, and I usually have a hard time typing fast enough to keep up with my train of thought, but lately, when I try to write, it just feels forced, laboured and just not natural, and I kinda feel like the writing reflects that. Which isn't good.