OT (sort of): India, Monkeys & Illwinter
 

So, what exactly was Johan K doing in India last summer? Trying toi recruit an army of Bandar to take over, or training them?

As to where I found this, here. Money quote from that thread:
It's a good thing I'd managed to finish my lunch just before I read that, choking to death while laughing wouldn't have been pleasant...

Re: OT (sort of): India, Monkeys & Illwinter
 

Damn, that's just too many *coincedences* for me. Johan K is trying to take over the world! Monkey army, why didn't I think of that?

I wonder how Johan K will take over his home country Sweden, since Monkeys can't survive the Skandinavian climate. I need to check if the Moose have been more agressive lately..

Re: OT (sort of): India, Monkeys & Illwinter
 

Crossbreeding, obviously.

In addition to being cold-tolerant, your star spawn-maccaque hybrid can also enter the sea.

Re: OT (sort of): India, Monkeys & Illwinter
 

2007-09-21 14:10
Älg tog sig in på Telias kontor
Av IT 24 |

Det blev stor uppståndelse när en älg tog sig in i Telias lokaler i centrala Örebro på fredagen. Den fullvuxna älgen hoppade in genom en fönsterruta. Personalen flydde i skräck därifrån. Det skriver TT.

---

Free translation by me:

Moose entered Telia office

There was great comotion as a moose entered the Telia office in central Örebro this friday. The full grown moose entered by jumping through a window. The employees fled in panic. This according to TT.

---

Telia is the swedish company in charge of/owning the telephone network, broad band stuff, etc; a remnant of the ministry 'televerket', when telephones were part of the public service.

Re: OT (sort of): India, Monkeys & Illwinter
 

All major attacks begin with systematic cutting of lines of communication. Telia is just step one of phase one.

Re: OT (sort of): India, Monkeys & Illwinter
 

It looks to me like JK spent a bit too much time in India. While the target choise of the Moose attack is indeed ominous, as Sombre says, the actual results appear to be somewhat limited.

Still, I have no doubts that if some more time is spent on training we will soon see invincible meese armies galopping through various strategic targets in Scandinavia.

Re: OT (sort of): India, Monkeys & Illwinter
 

I was bitten by a moose once.

Re: OT (sort of): India, Monkeys & Illwinter
 

Time of the invasion draws nigh! We must prepare ourselves for the inevitable onslaught.

!!!!

Did it penetrate your skin? Was there any blood? Did you contact the virus?!

If you get bitten by one of them, you will become one of them!

There's only way to be sure..
*goes away to get his shotgun*

Re: OT (sort of): India, Monkeys & Illwinter
 

Remember to use silver pellets - it's best to be sure.

Re: OT (sort of): India, Monkeys & Illwinter
 

I love this thread.

Monkeys Gone Wild!
 

As my old mentor once told me, "start w/the fundamentals".

Terrorist monkeys are like any other terrorist group (except furry and occasionally Sacred) - go after the head, and the body dies or loses focus.

Find the white monkeys. That is all.

Re: Monkeys Gone Wild!
 

Hmm, does this make Aus safe? IIRC, theres no killer kangaroos or anything in dom3..

Re: Monkeys Gone Wild!
 

There are spiders of all sizes in Dom3, though.

Re: Monkeys Gone Wild!
 

I haven't noticed any small spiders in dom3. They all appear to be bigger than horses.

Re: Monkeys Gone Wild!
 

Whew, we just have the extremely deadly ones http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/smilies/laugh.gif

A few questions/concerns
 

So the moose jumped through the window? and then everyone fled in panic...seems like a reasonable reason for panic.

Was that a 1st floor window? or was the moose wearing a cape?

Are the Indians planning to arm the tiger-riding monkeys?
If so, are we talking small calibre rifles, or uzis and rocket launchers?

What kind of military/industrial base does the smaller monkey opposition have access to? And are they to be considered terrorists or freedom fighters?

And do they possess armored rhino technology to counter the giant snake weapons?

Re: A few questions/concerns
 

There was some mention of a jet pack, but I advise waiting until the investigation is concluded.

There have been some debate about giving them single-shot Explosively Formed Penetrators to allow the gov't. some deniability, but the Indians are reconsidering that due to Iranian EFPs still falling into the hands of the Coalition forces en route to use in Iraq.

I prefer to use the ideologically-neutral terms, "insurgent" or "guerilla" (gorillaz? /rimshot) myself.

Great taste AND less filling!

A waste of money, IMHO. It's been a well-established fact that the only creature than can defeat a genetically-engineered python is another genentically-engineer python.

Re: A few questions/concerns
 

If you'd ever seen the hit film Python vs Anaconda you'd know that isn't true.

Re: A few questions/concerns
 

I believe that we've already done considerable groundwork on this forum towards establishing that even a Very-Large-And-Dangerous (VLAD) class snake will have a lot of trouble dealing with a similarly VLAD-class crocodile.

Naturally, a good deal remains to be speculated as regards the, so-to-say, "nature" of any genetic mutation that may be involved.

And regarding whether or not it's a good idea to put armor on rhinos, let us recall for a moment the words of Abraham Lincoln:

"In the course of human events, it need not be necessary for armored rhinos to be the solution to all our problems, it is only that we ask ourselves the question, "well, what about armored rhinos?" that matters."

Re: OT (sort of): India, Monkeys & Illwinter
 

I was bitten by a monkey once when I was in India. I guess I was undermining his alpha status and he had to take action.

Re: OT (sort of): India, Monkeys & Illwinter
 

I was mugged by monkeys in Indonesia, once. I was carrying peanuts, you see.