Smack - Running
 

Bazooko has been slowed down while Jazzepi invades Berlin.

So, to fuel my gaming addiction, I'm creating another game in the Six Lands, MA this time. (Game name has been updated for llamaserver requirements.) Presenting,

Smack

Age: MA
Mods: CB1.3
Map: SixLands
Provinces: 90 Land, 3 Water
Players: 6 (Land only)
Experience: Any
Nations: Any (Except water)

Renaming: Allowed
Graphs: Off
All Other Settings: Default
Host Time: 24hrs

Hosted on: Llamaserver (Thanks llamabeast!)

All the rules in Bazooko apply. This is a Vegas-style game where NAPs have little or no meaning. Your reputation will not be sullied if you commit dastardly deeds and betrayals. Anything possible in the game goes.

Nations/Players: :up: = Uploaded
Abysia vfb :up:
Marignon cupido2 :up:
Machaka jimkehn :up:
Pythium OmikronWarrior :up:
C'tis lwarmonger :up:
Pan Denisius :up:

Re: Skag - Recruiting, 3/6
 

I was looking for another shot to experiment with Pythium. So, sign me up.

Re: Skag - Recruiting, 3/6
 

2 years (almost) I've had this game and have not played Machaka. Not even SP...so......I will take Machaka.

Re: Smack - Recruiting, 4/6
 

I'll play as C'tis.

Re: Smack - Recruiting, 5/6, 1 spot left!
 

Pangea for me.

Re: Smack - Recruiting, 5/6, 1 spot left!
 

Great, we are full!

cupido2 please pick your nation.

Everyone else, please email your pretenders to the llamaserver, subject "Smack".

Re: Smack - Full, Upload Pretenders
 

Errr... Marignon for me.

Uploading pretender now

Re: Smack - Running
 

Wuah every province has a hefty 50 indie guardforce. They are of course no match for my elite marignon supertroopers but are surely unbeatable for you common people. If you need help to get rid of them, just send me some gold and my Grailknights come and get rid of that deadly menace for you.

Marignon cares for you.

Re: Smack - Running
 

Abysia needs no help from puny humans!

Magma shall spew forth from the Smouldercone, and we will light the fires of our glorious civilization in the heathen lands. The peasant rabble had better get ready for some global warming.

-- Begbie, Prophet of the True Flame

Re: Smack - Running
 

Pay no heed to the scantily clad warriors of the warmer climes. We only want to be left alone.


-Gary....So-So Lord of Mediocrity, Unexceptional God of the Underachievers, Insignificant King of the Uninspired

Re: Smack - Running
 

:eek:
SCANTILY CLAD WARRIORS!!! Didn't you know, that in the Holy Book of Teh Bird it is written:
All ye crytures shalst weahr hyghneceth et goesth to ye pedii clothes so none canesth see theyre scin but ye handen et facii so ye god shalst be verye happilie et no wicke spiritii shalst haven its joyen to sicnesse ye souhl???

I send an inquisitor to Machakan lands to oversee that the rules of the Holy Book of Teh Bird are followed!

:rulz:

Re: Smack - Running
 

Remember...Gary is the Insignificant King of the Uninspired. They have felt no inspiration to read no stinkin Holy Book. They barely have enough inspiration to read the comic pages in the newzpaperz.

But after all......they ARE clad....just scantily so.

Re: Smack - Running
 

:eek::eek:

STINKIN!!! COMICS!!! Don't you know that in the Holy Book of Teh Bird is written, I cite page 16'120 verse 12:

"[...] an thou shallst only readen ye Holy Booke of Teh Bird for only ye Holy Booke of Teh Bird shallst shoue ye waye for ye souhl et readen en alter booke only opehns ye waye of maliciosii spiritii of which ye comicii paintures arest ye darcesti waye to opehns ye waye to ye souhl as laughter shallst be sin to Teh Bird, ye only god thou shallst prayen as He arest ye Savviour et ye beginn and ye end but He arest ye infinitii with no beginn et no end, as laughter is tearin ye facii to wicke facii as ye facii of Abysii which shallst be ye signii of ye falsii prophetii who willest arriven in ye worlde to beginn ye Haarmageddone which willest calle forth Teh Bird to savve ye choosen with purii souhls to rulen uver ye worlde [...] and he who sacrilegii ye book of Teh Bird with feculencii wordens shallst be purifiid by ye flames at ye stake of Teh Bird as He arest ye Savviour et ye beginn and ye end but He arest ye infinitii with no beginn et no end, and cleanest ye souhl of ye faul spiritii as [...]"

So I will immediatly send an inquisitor to Machaka. And scantilly clad is no excuse for not beeing clad high-necked with no skin to be seen but the face and the hands. You are warned!

Re: Smack - Running
 

Uh oh ... Abysia borrowed a Holy Booke of Teh Bird from the library since it sounded interesting, but there was a wee bit of an accident. Or maybe a scrilegii?

In any case we are shipping the ashes to Marignon so they can dispose of them as they see fit.

-- Begbie of Abysia

Re: Smack - Running
 

The Inquisitors appreciate the efforts of Abysia to enlighten themselves and learn the truth of Teh Bird, as Teh Bird is, as it is written in the Holy Book of Teh Bird to cite only one of the many references to Teh Bird: "[...] as He arest ye only god, ye A et ye Z et all ye letterii inbetweenee as well as all ye ascii-codicii, so [...]"
I will send a friar to Abysia to teach your people the wonders of Teh Bird and preserve more Holy Books to the ensuing ages.

Re: Smack - Running
 

Abysia ponders ... who is the immortal Yna independent in the HoF?

An independent commander in an indy province who has died twice! We hope someone took some pictures.

Re: Smack - Running
 

The llamaserver seems to have become lost in time and space!

Let us hope for an early return from the void.

I've tried to postpone the deadline by 24 hours via the web admin function, but I don't know if that will have any affect.

Re: Smack - Running
 

It looks like the llamaserver is just sick, not actually dead.

It's processing turns, but you may not get a response right away.

Try to get your turns in early if possible, thanks!

Please note that I'm vigorously opposed to rollbacks.

Re: Smack - Running
 

Weee, I never received so many e-mails before. About 18 notifications that I had sent a revised turn file (I have not). Llamaserver gone haywire. But as I saw in the other thread I'm not the only one.

Re: Smack - Running
 

I have disabled Quick-Host for this game, since the llamaserver has gone temporarily insane. The problem is it's not clearing out the received turns. So if you have a revised turn in the queue, or maybe even a turn from the last month, it would screw things up. :(

Re: Smack - Running
 

I think that the problem is now fixed, and that you can resume the Quick-Host.

Re: Smack - Running
 

When I access the llamaserver admin page, I still get this message:

Re: Smack - Running
 

I did not get a turn emailed to me for Smack, so I thought it had not hosted. In addition, the status page on llamaserver showed:

It looked like everyone had their turn in and it was going to host sometime next week, so I did a force hosting, and you all have received the new turn I am guessing.

But the turn file shows I staled, and it says turn 8 instead of turn 7.

Not only that, the Game Status page still shows:

I think the llamaserver is still not feeling entirely well. "Last Update" and "Current Time" should basically be the same.

Are there any objections to just carrying on from here? The only other option is to try the "Roll game back to previous turn".

But I'd really prefer to avoid a rollback if at all possible.

Please let me know your vote:

- Play with turn 8 since everyone staled

OR

- Attempt to use the roll back function


Majority vote wins. Tie-breaker is no roll back.


Edit: Oh it's supposed to be turn 8! It's just that when the llamaserver hosted, it ignored all the .2h files. It's just as if I did not give any orders. Graphs are off so it's hard to tell if everyone else staled too... but the Hall of Fame has not changed at all, except all the non-dead HoF'ers got 1 more XP. Please vote in any case.

Re: Smack - Running
 

Thinking about this more, I should probably have just turned quickhost on, instead of doing a "force host"

I forgot I had turned it off. But now I'm worried about turning it back on, because the status page still says it's on Turn 7.

I'll wait and see what happens on the server and if the game eventually figures out that it forced hosting. In the admin log, it doesn't even record that I did that. Weird.

Re: Smack - Running
 

Did you all see the message from llamabeast?

Just in case:

Well, it sounds like a rollback is not going to cut it.

I think the best option is just to go forward with the current turn with everyone staling, treating the stale turn as a random event. Let's get this game back on the road! Does anyone have objections?

Hopefully llamabeast can send the failed turn to illwinter so they can debug the crash.

And everyone quit using provhax! ( <-- joke :) )

Re: Smack - Running
 

Let's just roll on. If we all staled, we all staled together, so no one has any big advantage. I know events may have happened, but then.....they may have happened anyway. I strongly urge to move on from here with the staled turns.

It will make me feel better for lasting an extra turn.

Re: Smack - Running
 

Well, I just got confirmation that I submitted my turn. And I also got confirmation that I revised my turn, which I did not. Funny. The LLamaserver.net Status Page seems to be refreshing properly, though, as the status for Smack looks right.

Re: Smack - Running
 

Llamabeast found out that the reason the turn crashed is because of lack of disk space.

He kindly regenerated turn 8.

Please use the new turn 8! Do not use the one where everyone staled.

I have increased the timer by 24 hours for this turn only, in case anyone would like to raise objections.

Re: Smack - Running
 

Admin:

We're just waiting for Pythium (OmikronWarrior) now.

Quickhost is on, so whenever he gets his turn in, the game will host.

The deadline is 21:52 GMT on Monday November 10th. The llamaserver seems fine now, so I won't make any further adjustments to the timer or quickhost unless I get a PM from someone.

Re: Smack - Running
 

Ahem, we are sure that llamaserver is to blame, but we see Abysian forces on the Marignon-green provinces. I'm sure Teh Bird isn't too happy about that, as in the Book of Teh Bird is written:
"[...] et thou shalst resceat on yer own green as it est Teh Bird, ye only one [long, interesting, passage about the Greatness of Teh Bird] who gavesth thou yer green and thou shalst not trample on ye green of alterii nationii as Teh Bird, who est ye beginn et ye end [another very interesting passage concerning the wisdom of Teh Bird] will comesth from ye heaven, where Teh Bird [a passage of the ultimate knowledge of Teh Bird follows here] et burnesth on ye stake ye heretics who sacrilegii ye greens et if ye nationii tresspassiae est on flamii like Teh Bird [a passage that describes minutiously the flames, their color, form, etc. of Teh Bird] Harmageddon shalst be nigh et great war et death shallst comesth over all nationii et The Bird [a passage about the splendor of Teh Bird follows here] willst crush ye paganii [...]

Re: Smack - Running
 

Abysia sees no light green, or pale green, or puce green, or even grass green. The world is a red flame, and black where the flame is no more.

If the knights of Marignon are too slow to move out from their capitol, we suggest they shed some of that heavy armor that is weighing them down. There are many provinces yet held by puny independent pagans. If you get rid of some of that steel, you should be able to reach them in no time at all.

Re: Smack - Running
 

:fire: :acorn:
:fire: :mushroom:
:fire: :palm:
:fire: :shamrock:

The nation of Pan, having committed gross violations of Abysian sovereignty by attacking and capturing Pzucz in an unprovoked and undeclared act of war last month, and seeking to further their illegal land gains by sending yet more troops in a botched invasion of Pergami, is hereby summarily convicted in the Abysian High Court, of war crimes and other preversions, and is sentenced to burn!

-- Begbie, Prophet of Abysia

Re: Smack - Running
 

OH TEH BIRD HELP US! Our scout brought us terrible news and we have the holy duty to inform every nation about that horrible incident:
A group of unarmed pilgrims was ambushed by a horde of drooling and bloodthirsty abominations. Half man, half animal. They... they were... the faint of heart should not read what follows... many an inquisitor passed out when this hideous fact was revealed... they were accompanied by women, all naked :faint:!! Drooling, out of their mind... Many of these foul beasts were slain by the believe of the pilgrims in Teh Bird alone. Marignon won't stop to cleanse this insult on Teh Bird's will and protect all children from this exhibitionismn. Those daemons, calling themselves the "Pangea" will burn on the stake in the name of Teh Bird.

Re: Smack - Running
 

Admin: Hosting delayed 24hrs because of llamaserver problems

Re: Smack - Running
 

Hey guys.....sorry for the delay, but I never got turn 19 for smack. I've requested the file be re-sent.

Re: Smack - Running
 

Yeah, I've been getting that a lot. I just have playing times where I check llamaserver for all the games I didn't recieve e-mails for, just to make sure that I get them.

Re: Smack - Running
 

Admin: Hosting delayed 12 hours.

Re: Smack - Running
 

Ah thanks to Teh Bird, the perverts are no more. Law and order rules the former godless lands of Pangea while the Inquisitors advise the inhabitants with the Book of Teh Bird, the sword and the flames in the ways of a devout life. How grateful they were to be freed from their existance of promiscuity and nakedness.

Re: Smack - Running
 

A tide of nekkid refugees has spilled onto the barren wastes of Abysia. They will be rounded up by our warlords, appropriately clothed in chaste white robes, and given the honor of sacrificing themselves to Nigi. He'll never know the difference!

also, Admin: Hosting delayed 12 hours.

Re: Smack - Running
 

Admin: Hosting delayed until 06:25 GMT on Tuesday December 2nd.

The game is still on quickhost, so if it hosts I will again delay hosting to December 2nd.

Re: Smack - Running
 

The Arch Inquisitor is more than annoyed by the foul fumes spreading from the C'tis lands, poisoning the pious countrysides in our west. To add insult to injury C'tis is building temples for their false god as if there was no tomorrow. Marignon will set a fiery end to this polution of both the air and the religion. Teh Bird will smile and we prey for his break-free.

Re: Smack - Running
 

Hey now, not very nice Marignon. It isn't our fault that your people like the pleasant musk coming from our prime wetlands and wish to devote significant portions of their income to expanding it. Perhaps you should build temples of your own to compete... unless your amusing faith in a giant turkey has left you too poor perhaps?

Re: Smack - Running
 

As we saw in battle the foul stench is not the only thing the dwellers of C'tis like. We don't want to know what the people do with those snakes when they are lonely at night. All we know is, that the Knights of the Chalice will root out this nest of abberate sodomites in the name of Teh Bird and that the inquisitors will teach the poor mislead people how, when and with whom they have to consummate marriage.

Re: Smack - Running
 

Your people will die in great numbers at our armies hand. Disease shall afflict your soldiers and lay waste to your lands. Your rivers will darken and turn to poison and your crops will wither in their fields. The lands of Marignon will become a wasteland and you will rue the day when you launched your unprovoked attack upon the peaceful lizard people of Ctis.

Re: Smack - Running
 

And now Machaka jumps in, violating our Non-aggression Pact without so much as a word. If anyone should attack either Machaka or Marignon, I can assure them that those two nations are quite engaged at the moment, and will be for some time. Defensively my armies are quite powerful, and more than capable of holding them off while death and disease are spread among their civilians.

Re: Smack - Running
 

Don't forget the rules of THIS game were that agreements were meaningless.

Re: Smack - Running
 

That is true of all games, however since Machaka so heartlessly and ruthlessly betrayed poor ctis (and are now quite engaged in what will no doubt turn into a bloody stalemate because of it), it is the perfect time for one of their neighbors to stab them in the back.

Re: Smack - Running
 

I think the point of this style of game is to be heartless and ruthless. Or in my case, mercenary. The theurgs and legions of Pythium stand by for offers for their services. Also accepting offers to do nothing.

Re: Smack - Running
 

Well, I think most games NAPs are meant to be honored. The very first post in this thread states that agreements were to have little or no meaning in THIS game.

Re: Smack - Running
 

Well, almost everything I have money and gem wise is currently going into fighting my two opponents, even though defensively I remain very strong (as my two opponents are finding out while they sit ineffectually outside my city walls while disease spreads among them). However Pythium must ask itself where easy pickings can be had? It certainly isn't in Ctis, as a victory over me is in many ways just as bad as a defeat (as Machaka and Marignon are finding out... the disease isn't merely spreading among their troops but in their homelands as well... thousands die each day), but in those nations which have denuded their defenses for a maximum effort against me. In the meantime my garrisons within my other cities remain in place and vigilant against sudden attacks.