Haha Moments like this
 

Is why i so enjoy dom3.

Playing as LA Ermor..

I made my starting censor the prophet.. Couple battles we then fought the knights of chalice indy province .. The commander had the full suit of Sun Armor on. Prophet found every piece after the battle.. That mixed with his heroic quickness hall of fame ability and the prophet/gods blessing makes him pretty nasty in combat for this early in the game.

Well fought an indy province with some knights and various infantry.. But it also had a Wizard. Censor is in front killing guys and the other sides wizards is casting dust to dust.. Well he finally manages to hit the square with my censor. Kills the other 2 undead obviously and wounds the censor pretty badly giving him lost one eye affliction. Which was pretty entertaining imaging my censor just had half his head blown off or some such.

But alas he had the last laff. After the meele guys routed..The censor was faster than the other units so got to the ranged guys first.. And got some sweet sweet revenge on the wizard.

:up:

Re: Haha Moments like this
 

Moments like that make me think someone could write a dime novel with a Dom3 game as primary inspiration. Probably make a few bucks.

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Was playing middle age Shinuyama and was using massed dai bakemono archers. Had been advancing against a computer opponent with ease. Think I had about two hundred of them using wind giude and flaming arrows and hadnt suffered casualties in a while. I had a battle against about 70 assorted trash of the type the AI will send at you in endless waves. I suffered a casualty. I was intriuged enough to watch the battle.

So I watch the battle and first thing one of my archers goes charging across the battlefield and impales himself on the enemy before they fled. WTF? The battle ended so fast that I had to rewatch the battle a couple of times before I sucessfully clicked upon my suicidal archer.

He had two afflictions, he'd lost both arms. I fell out of my chair I was laughing so hard. I wasnt aware at the time the game tracked afflictions on my lowly troopers. The real kicker was my armless archer was "armed" with a fist.

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Hehe, a mere flesh wound...

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haha he should have used a headbutt attack.

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Indeed that would of been pure awesome.

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Should have probably been a 'useless kick'. Bug? ;)
But having headbutt would be nice, too...

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Hmmmmm.....

Excerpt from LORD OF THE DAI'S

Chapter 3: Taming the wild lands.

...The gallant archer screamed in pain; a missile - quite obviously errant given the Tribesmens' aim - found the weakness in his shoulder's armor. There, on the ground, lay his useless appendage still clutching the longbow that had served him so well through the campaign. Mad with rage, he drew his sword, and charged forth toward the heathan's ranks! 50 yards!...40 yards!...he beings to make out the whites of ther eyes when suddenly the sky above him erupts with the glow of a thousand silent comets, each spitting a vile, smokey trail behind itself as it homes toward the pathetic mass of pagans. When the volley lands, panic ensues. The Shaman, thier demigod, collapses neatly to the ground like a skillfully downed elk...with a burning arrow through his face. The rabble flees quickly, too quickly in fact for the former archer to exact a single ounce of vengence.
As the campaign matures, he charges forth at each engagement, hoping to fill the void of his missing limb. But no matter the foe, they all seem to flee - perhaps due to his manical charges, perhaps to the hundreds of flaming arrows that kill/maim most of them prior to his arrival - before he can reach their line.
Until one foul day, while raging toward some gaggle of barbarians, an unlucky breeze preempted a funny feeling that his No-Dashi had become quite suddenly and inexplicably less heavy...inquisitively, he looked down to see...you guessed it...his other arm had been torn off by an errant arrow! And this one loosed by his own comrades! Oh fate! What are the chances?!? Cruel DRN!
Insane with, well, insanity, our armless hero grasps his own severed appendage with his teeth, and continues his misguided sprint toward the enemy horde! Whipping his head back-and-forth and hollering muffled curses, his sword - unbeknownst to the dismembered member - flies uselessly to the side, though the tenacious hand grips on. The spectacle is beyond words: a green, armless samauri flails his own severed arm in his mouth while its clutched fist jabs comically at the empty air. The barbarians, needless to say, were not amused..."

Re: Haha Moments like this
 

ahahah A++

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Great writing.
You know you can publish that into a printed book online for free, and make a couple bucks off of every purchase of it. Seriously you might want to consider doing a full book of a game.

And if you balance the storyline (maybe the left-side pages) with the actual game info (the right-side pages) it might serv as story, tutorial, demo, etc.

And on the same webpage you sell your book you can link to Dominions 3 the game to make commission off every copy that sells thru your link.

Gandalf Parker
--
www.Any1can.net

Re: Haha Moments like this
 

I actually have a video of the following somewhere, but can't remember where. I *think* it went something like this:

I was playing Pangaea (not suprising really) and had Arcos on their knees, sieging their capital which was firmly held by massed Arcos troops and mages plus their pretender. Anyway, I decided to storm the castle with a couple hundred beastmen, to see what is inside, so that I'd have an idea what my Pans should cast when they finally would arrive to the scene.

The actual battle bogged down to a slugfest at the gate. Centaurs at the front went berserk, while arrows and massed spell-bombarding nuked my army. I got a pretty good view of what spells Arcos were using.

Then all of the sudden my army routs. Except of course the berserking centaurs. The Arcos melee fellows were also dieing fast. The centaurs *are* tough after all, and there was some massive collateral damage from spells and missiles. Finally the opponents facing the centaurs rout, and four centaurs charge forwards, with rest of the Pan army in full rout.

In waltzes the Arcos pretender, a freak lord called Pennag (yes, that I remember for some reason, the name has burned itself onto my brain). He decides to cast Gifts from Heaven. Three centaurs croak, as does quite a few archers standing between the pretender and my centaurs, *and* the pretender himself is hit too, as he "slightly" misses his target . Oops. The preteder of course does not survive this, so he dies. Double oops. The Arcos army sees their god die, and promptly routs. Triple oops.

The sole centaur alive, a raging berserk, is now the only one left on the field who is *not* routing. He alone proceeds to capture the castle.


I felt so skilled watching the battle replay. Then I had to watch it over and over again, made a video of it, and just couldn't stop myself from laughing :D

Re: Haha Moments like this
 

I tend to RPG my games.
When I have a unit like that I like to "reward" them by retiring them to some province where they can just be part of the PD.
I like to be a benevolent god. :)

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If it would be possible to promote them further... But wait! It is! You can GoR them! This would be a fitting reward so they could now command armies of their own... ;)

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Well...
There was this one SP game where I was playing Kali with a wish-empowered SC pretender (the Najatara). Well, I had reached the late-game and I was pumping out SCs and thugs like a magician does rabbits, but I was still fighting C'tis, Atlantis (cursed Amphibian-Frogmen and their sea provinces), and Himmon. Well, I sent my Pretender out against a small Himmon force of only 50 units. He scripts casts (Personal Luck)(Body Ethereal)(wait)(wait)(wait)(attack closest), while the lumbering giants surround him and attack him. SOMEHOW, they started scoring hits on him DESPITE the low fatigue, etherealness, luck, ridiculous protection (25 or 30 methinks), ridiculous defense stat (40 def), Petrification (ala Aegis), and regeneration to knock out BOTH of his eyes, two arms (well, he still have two more), a chest wound, crippled, and battle fright. I was like "wtfomgcomphax", and these weren't even Dawn Guard (which I still chewed up before this). My pretender retreated after that debacle, and then the turn IMMEDIATELY after, there was a deathmatch so my pretender HAD to go, so I couldn't bring the Chalice over there to help heal him since he was in random wasteland of no importance(I also had GoH up). So I was basically watching him blindly strike out with the Champion's Trident throughout the whole arena battle (0 attack+0 defense ftw), and after 49 turns or so striking a lucky hit on someone's prophet and forcing them to flee with a morale check.

That was a memorable two turns.

Re: Haha Moments like this
 

I do the same. I had tought that this was my own gender-related quirk. And then if I'm playing single and have time, I GoR them to move troops or such. A 3-starred kydnid is surprisingly good commander.