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Othaglot and Cane - Story Thread
I've been inspired by the excellent history of the galaxy thread, and also the galactic bash and other story threads (Liks S_J's classic story Last year). Thing is, I don't have the staying power to write full epic which tracks an entire game, so I thought I'd open this thread for short one-part stories.
Anyone who wants to write a one-off piece of se4 fiction without any obligation to continue it or link it to any wider story, please post here. Here's my starter: A Texrak Tale Crap title I know... [ September 28, 2002, 00:44: Message edited by: dogscoff ] |
Re: Othaglot and Cane - Story Thread
Somebody, sorry I forget who, Atrocities? no ? opened a thread to collect game stories scattered around this forum. I think it might be a good idea to find that link before all our creativity is lost forever.
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Re: Othaglot and Cane - Story Thread
Story Junkie (can you figure out who that is?)
and Hadriel started fiction forums Methinks. Don't know what happened to them. |
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Re: Othaglot and Cane - Story Thread
So... did anyone actually read the Texrak story?
Perhaps I didn't make it clear that if you click on the story title in my original post it will take you to the text, which is posted on my webpage. I have an idea for another one, but it will probably turn into a bit of an epic. Should be quite funny, too http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif [ May 27, 2002, 09:08: Message edited by: dogscoff ] |
Re: Othaglot and Cane - Story Thread
I read it when you posted, but then TerranC distracted me http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif
An Epic is always good. |
Re: Othaglot and Cane - Story Thread
Epic is good, eh? Well here's chapter 1 of an SEIV murder mystery=-) No title yet, but "Othaglot and Cane" has quite a nice ring to it =-)
The first alien I had ever seen lay on the floor before me, dead. It had four limbs, a thick torso and no head. I was pretty sure there was supposed to be a head, but I couldn’t be certain. The skin was ice- white, and I wondered whether that was the correct colouration, or whether it was a result of prolonged exposure to the chilly vacuum of space. I reflected that it might also have something to do with the thick red liquid now oozing out of the thawing corpse. Cappa Loog shuffled backwards nervously as the expanding puddle approached him. “Captain said pull him in so we pulled him in. Half an hour ago. Opened the sat doors and went out in a space suit and pulled him in.” He said. Even for an unjoined Cappa, he wasn’t particularly bright - He’d already given me the same story twice, but since he didn’t seem to have any other comments, he just kept repeating it. I sensed my own Cappa’s mirth at Loog’s repetition, and affectionately warned her against displaying it. I pressed on with the questioning, hoping to get something new out of Loog. “And have you touched the body since then?” “Nope, just pulled him in and left him here.” Adding hurriedly; “Captain told us to do that.”, apparently afraid that I would find some reason to arrest him. At that point, the second alien I had ever seen entered the room, in a far better state of health than the first. I had expected it to move on all four limbs, but its two-legged locomotion afforded the creature a curiously long, slow rhythm which, combined with its height, made it seem somehow aloof. The security officer accompanying it eyed his charge suspiciously, clearly blaming him for the inconvenient delay incurred by the discovery of the body. The human looked first at the bulky Cappa Loog, and quickly surmised his status from the greasy work-suit and heat armour. A brief process of elimination allowed him to identify me, and he turned, extending one of the upper limbs in my direction as he did so. “Detective Othaglot, I presume”, he said, withdrawing the appendage when he realised that I hadn’t recognised the gesture. His translation device produced perfect Cue-Cappa, and I acknowledged his assumption. “You must be Mr Cane. I look forward to working with you.” This Last statement wasn’t true, but since I was stuck with him I thought it best to be polite. I realised with some embarrassment not only that his mouth was exposed, a hole right on the front of his head, but that I had been staring at it. The muscles around it had worked to change its shape, and I wondered if it was a significant display of body language. It seemed bizarre that a culture could exist where an individual could display their mouth without shame, let alone use it for non-verbal communication. “As do I.” He said simply. “And this is our mystery man. Have you examined him in any way?” For the first time he looked down at the corpse, which by now was a white lumpy island in a sea of red. Now that I had a complete specimen to compare the body to, I could see that a head was indeed lacking, and that the pale did not match that of a live human. Mr Cane was far pinker than the corpse, although the longer he looked at it the paler he became. Perhaps it was some kind of sympathetic response. Psychically examining his thought processes, I could make no sense of his alien mindscape. His shapes of his thoughts were accessible to me, but they were so alien as to be completely unreadable. It was disconcerting to communicate with a being but to have none of those psychic cues which you only notice by their absence. Perhaps that’s why the security officer had taken such a dislike to him. “I’ve only just arrived on the ship myself.” I said, and at first it seemed as though he hadn’t heard me, or that the translator had failed. After a moment he looked away from the dead body and made eye contact with me. “I haven’t had time to question anyone except Cappa Loog here.” “I see. Well, at least that saves you the trouble of debriefing me. Are you the person who recovered the body?” he now addressed Loog, whose idiotic expression promoted itself to bewildered at the human’s question. Just as I thought Cane would have to repeat himself, Loog replied. “Yeah, pulled him in through the sat doors, half an hour ago. Captain said pull him in so we pulled him in. Me and Olta” “Was the.. uh.. was the head missing when you collected the body?” Not wanting to hear the technician’s Version of events for a fifth time, I quickly interposed. “I have already questioned Cappa Loog. We shouldn’t keep him from his duties any longer.” It took him a few moments to register my meaning, and then he lumbered wordlessly off, no doubt to recount his limited anecdote to Olta and his other workmates. Cane stepped in to the red pool and crouched down to the body, in the kind of pose I had expected him to assume normally. He conducted a squeamish search of the corpse’s damaged clothing, during which he found and retained several items. He looked up at me after he had done so. Did he think I hadn’t seen him take anything? I made a mental note to question him about that later. He then produced a small device from his own garments and used it to take a tissue sample. He studied the instrument in his hand for a moment, and then said “The DNA isn’t in our database. There isn’t even a family match. This is very strange.” He stood upright again and addressed the security officer. “Do you have any cryogenic facilities on this ship? I don’t doubt the capabilities of your own medical staff, but our races still have much to learn about one another, anatomically. I’d prefer that he be transported back to our colony on Ceres IV for examination.” The officer’s objection to this new imposition was evident to me, but was probably lost on the alien. “We do have cryo-units on board. Our First Officer will have to decide whether your request can be accommodated.” He paused a moment while his mind reached out to the First Officer’s and made the request. “It can. The cryo-unit will be transferred to the ship which brought you.” He said. “The Captain says she is ready to see you now.” The security officer guided us to the Captain’s office and departed, throwing the human one Last dirty look as he did so. The door opened, and we entered. It was a functional room – a broad, circular desk, a terminal and a large screen on one wall displaying views of the bridge and other critical parts of the ship. The Captain was resting on a seat in the centre of the desk, her tentacles spread out upon it in all directions. One tentacle tapped at the console, eliciting various displays of data that did not seem to meet with her approval. I doubted that she had ever seen a human face to face either, but she didn’t waste any time with curiosity. “We had assumed that you would examine the body yourself. Had we known you were simply going to put it in cryo, we would have recovered it a week ago and continued with our mission. Instead, you have a 300kt vessel following a corpse around, wasting time and supplies.” “I apologise for the miscommunication and the inconvenience, Captain Roothloota.” said Cane. I heard his human voice mispronounce the Captain’s name, but the translator corrected it. “I’m sure that your superiors will understand the delay, since the request for your co-operation comes directly from my government to yours. I assumed that you would have put him into cryo already. My function is to investigate his death, not to examine him. I’m not a physician.” “Well, the delay has given us a chance to carry out some maintenance and catch up on administration.” She indicated the mass of writing-sculpts on her desk with a tentacle. “If you are not a physician, you must be a policeman, like our detective Othaglot here.” My Cappa wagged her eyestalks in acknowledgement. “Actually, my normal role is a diplomatic one, but out here on the frontiers we often have to adapt. I was the nearest available person, and my government decided that a prompt investigation was preferable to a fully-qualified one.” His mouth made that shape again, and I struggled to guess at it’s meaning. The captain spoke. “How exactly do you plan to investigate this death? Security officer Oogroothoo tells me you have no identity for the deceased, and presumably you have no idea how he came to be floating in space in the first place. Where will you start?” Before Cane could answer, I spoke. “Since this body has been found in Cue Cappa space, this is still my investigation. In the interests of diplomatic relations, I have been instructed to allow Mr Cane to observe and assist.” Cane made another facial expression, which involved one eye and not the other, but said nothing. “The proximity of the deceased to the mining colony below us indicates that he had business there. There would certainly be no other reason for a spacecraft to pass this way, and my limited knowledge of astrophyics tells me that he couldn’t possibly have drifted in from a busier part of the system in the few years that humans have had knowledge of our people.” Cane added “I have also found some items on the body which may give us further avenues of investigation once we get down to the moon.” He looked at me and made the mouth-shape again. It was making me feel uneasy. The Captain’s Cappa made a noise of acknowledgement, but her Cue seemed to have little interest in the answer to her question. I could tell, but the human could not, that she was telepathically communicating with one of her officers. Oblivious, Cane continued talking. “Captain, I have a question for you. How did you find the body? Even in such close proximity to an inhabited world, the chances of a ship stumbling across so small an object and then taking the trouble to identify it as something of interest are too remote to be mere chance. You must have detected him somehow, but I can’t begin to imagine how.” The Captain had redirected her attention just in time to hear most of the question. Her answer was curt. “I’m afraid I cannot answer that question, Mr Cane, but I can tell you that your logic is sound. I have little doubt that you will find out the truth about your unfortunate compatriot. Now, if you have no further requirements of me, I’d like to resume my task, which has been delayed by yours.” “Of course, Captain, thank you for your time.” Although I could not sense it in his alien mind, I could guess the human’s frustration at the Captain’s sudden reluctance to talk. As we were escorted from the office to the airlock, where a police shuttle waited to take us to the mining colony below, Cane turned to me. “I hope we will be able to work well together, Detective. I sense a certain antipathy. Are you more used to working alone?” I felt my Cappa’s tentacle tips flush blue with shock. How had he managed to divine my thoughts and feelings, when I, a telepath, had so completely failed to understand his? I knew very little about humans but I knew they were not telepathic. No other races were, as far as we knew. I hoped the embarrassment of my response would be filtered out by the translation device. “I am not used to… to aliens, Mr Cane. I have no objections to them , but I have no experience of them. Of you. Given time, I am sure I will learn to work with you effectively.” He simply made the mouth-shape again, and said nothing more until we reached the airlock. |
Re: Othaglot and Cane - Story Thread
http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif sounds like pirates!
A very well written story so far. |
Re: Othaglot and Cane - Story Thread
Suicide Junkie:
http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/blush.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif Dogscoff: Great story! [ May 27, 2002, 22:45: Message edited by: TerranC ] |
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Chapter 2 is well underway. Unfortunately, I'm still not exactly sure where the plot is going (let alone whodunnit) so I may have to go back at a later date and change parts of Chapter 1 to make sense.
Once I get things fleshed out a little more I'll start posting this story to my website. |
Re: Othaglot and Cane - Story Thread
I've been writing a history of one of my solo games as I play it; the file is up to 10K so far. I won't be ready to post it until I know how the upcoming war that I'm expecting turns out, at least.
Dogscoff, two good stories. Your wallpaper's a bit hard to look at, but given the graphics I use in my Hypermaze mod, I'm hardly in a position to complain. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif |
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actually had to copy and paste the text into a texteditor to read the story. Dogscoff, great story http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif . Looking forward to hear more. Will there be Vikngs in it? (pretty please http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif ) Rollo |
Re: Othaglot and Cane - Story Thread
I did wonder about the wallpaper. Will fix that. Vikings: I'll see what I can do. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif
Pirates: Maybe, I'll have a think about it. I will probably almost certainly include some sort of Mafia / Triad / Yakuza organisation. Now that would be a cool shipset. |
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newzwirre rreleaze...muellerr confederrazion brreakz off diplomatic rrelazionz with mi-go hierrarrchy
yuggoth...glao newz networrk...ztatement...tenzionz rroze today along the jukala-lapan corrridorr...az the muellerr confederrazion withdrrew frrom itz trrade and rrezearrch trreaty with the mi-go hierrarrchy...denounzing a mi-go attack againzt an unarrmed gc-100-clazz colony zhip...the muellerrz demanded a forrmal apology...a zpokezman forr mi-go high prriezt da-vi acknowledged that the mi-go defenze frrigate...dark judgment...waz rrezponzible forr the deztrruczion of the colony zhip...howeverr zaid that the blame lay with the confederrazion...claiming that the colonizerr zhould have had ample warrning that the dark judgment waz apprroaching the warrp point frrom jukala to lapan... rrelazionz have been ztrrained rrezently between the hierrarrchy and the confederrazion due to the mi-go colonizazion of thrree worrldz in the muellerr-claimed zyztemz of ankel...eztopholez...nbarum...the grravey clan haz alzo exprezzed concerrn overr the mi-go prrezenze in gemhadrran...mi-go defenze fleetz in lapan...jukala...malfadorriz arre rreporrted to be on high alerrt... |
Re: Othaglot and Cane - Story Thread
Othaglot & Cane: Chapter 1 rewritten, Chapter 2 now available.
Dogscoff's SEIV page Chapter 3 is in progress. |
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Nice work Dogscoff! For years I have used my second PC to write an on-going narration of whatever computer game I might be playing. I include maps (using PAINT). notes, reminders, hints and sometimes paste in pieces of jpeg or bmp artwork to bring the story alive.
I've done this with everything from Civ, Might & Magic, Wizardry, Dungeon Siege, X-Com, Colonization, Morrowind, etc, etc. I have over 39 megabytes on one Jagged Alliance: Unfinished Business game alone (it includes a lot of maps done with PAINT). This using the second PC to keep notes and spin a storyline helps to prolong a game sometimes taking 2 or 3 times longer to complete. All the better to enjoy the ride! Of course, sometimes I get to playing the game and get so wrapped up that I neglect the storyline and later have to go back and catch up. Gives me a chance to expand on the content. I prefer the strategic games and RPG's where I can pause the action and make my entries. Those real-time games drive me nuts because there is little time to stop and take stock of where I am or develop a long range strategy plan. To each their own. My copy of SE4 Gold just arrived and I am already getting into my first game, writing my notes and storyline as I go. What a hoot! My thanks to everyone here who has contributed hints, answers and directions to the various questions brought to this forum. Excuse me, my Terran Confederation is looking for some direction now after finding the nearby systems empty of alien forces and I have to figure out what to do next. "Look, General Vaughn, I don't care what the Tech Minister says, we need to research ..." |
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Dogscoff, the new background fits the opening scene quite nicely, but now I have to highlight the text to read it comfortably.
I think white text would work well on that background. |
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I have to agree that the point of view of the characters is quite well thought out. Have you played as Cue Cappa very much, Dogscoff? I hope that the plot you are building 'on the fly' comes off as well as the characterization of alien psychology and xeno-diplomacy. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif
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Re: Othaglot and Cane - Story Thread
Its a neat idea posting the chapters on a website. I've always been interested in stories, and role playing games, but until the SE series I never found a futuristic one that seemed to work out well.
I'll probably think up a scenario to play out and start my own website for that. Space Empires is starting to rival my other roleplaying choice (DR:Platinum) in terms of time spent just because of how deep it can be, especially when trying to roleplay and not just go for power. |
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Enjoyable reading. Looking forward to more. What a shame you're not an Asimov -- then we wouldn't have to wait so long between chapters. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif
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Re: Othaglot and Cane - Story Thread
D, This detective story is very good writing. I particularly enjoy the depth you are going to describe the characters. This I believe is what is missing from the typical SEIV fan fiction, my own included. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif I am very eager to read more.
One technical nitpick though, there should be a link to chapter 2 from chapter 1. Instead of having to go back to the main page to get to it. Geoschmo |
Re: Othaglot and Cane - Story Thread
Thanks for all the O&C feedback on this thread and others. It has all been noted and will be acted upon.
A few questions: 1- would you rather wait longer for new chapters if it meant not having to re-read earlier chapters as I reverse-engineer the plot? 2- Do I need to spend more time describing settings/ background? 3- I think I'm going to have to write a few chapters from Cane's Point of View, as we approach territory which is more familiar to Othaglot. Is this a bad idea? I'm starting to form a more detailed plot, BTW. Some teasers for what's to come: - Violence! How do you fight someone with 12 limbs and no skeleton? - Cool gedgets! I'm sure I'll think of something. - Gripping cliffhangers! The end of Chapter 2 was a bit boring, wasn't it? - Intra-species sex: Tentacles and testacles! Othaglot is only "mostly male" after all. (I'm only kidding about this one. Probably.) - Exotic locations! We'll be visiting the soggy Cue Cappa homeworld and Cane's bug-eating parents on Ceres IV. - Inteplanetary conflicts and conspiracies! 'Nuff said. This is Space Empires after all. - Much much more... it's so good even I don't know what it is yet! (The above spoilers are subject to change without notice, as is what you've already read.) [ June 04, 2002, 21:41: Message edited by: dogscoff ] |
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[ June 05, 2002, 01:24: Message edited by: capnq ] |
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I concur. I don't mind you changing things as long as you let us know what changed. I rather enjoy observing the process you are going through to develop the story. Who knows, maybe it will even help some of us poor shlocks with our writing. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif
Geo |
Re: Othaglot and Cane - Story Thread
1) I'll jump on the bandwagon that's already rolling. As long as you let us know of changes it's fine to post new chapters as you revise.
2) Good settings help a story immeasurably. It's just a question of what sort of story you want to write. Lot's of discursive description might bore people looking for an 'action/adventure' story. But this looks like a whodunnit, and we all know that whodunnit's hinge off details. If some point of the setting/background is necessary to the story, you'd better describe it in detail. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif It's probably most effective to deal with the pertinent details from the point of view of whichever character is a stranger to them, so we have an excuse for a 'newbie' level explanation. 3) Excellent idea, for the reason cited above. You get to describe things from the point of view of someone unfamiliar with them and it gives a good excuse to fill the reader in. Also, switching points of view back and forth could let you pull some tricks, if you're clever. As already noted, 'whodunnit' mysteries hinge of small details. You might use the device of describing things from odd viewpoints to conceal major points in the story until the Last minute. It might take some time for those two 'aliens' to fully understand eacch other, and while they are not fully certain of each others meanings all sorts of things can pass through the net. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif Don't over do the violence unless you're really aiming for an action/adventure story. I don't think the genre's mix very well. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif And surely by now you realize that every single person in this forum LOVES to speculate on SciFi technology, gadgetry, and alien life. You've got a whole committe of anxious and eager collaborators waiting if you would like to toss some problems out for us. Then stand back! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif [ June 05, 2002, 05:07: Message edited by: Baron Munchausen ] |
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Monday night I was at a gig and didn't get to sleep until 4am. Last night then, I went to bed at eleven and couldn't sleep for 3 hours. This means I now have almost the entire plot worked out, but I'm so tired I can't be arsed to type it up. (Up at 6 this morning for work http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif )
I don't think I'll need to do much more reverse-engineering. Probably looking at 12 - 20 chapters in total, with Vikings, Mafia, a brewery-based conspiracy theory and a big big big big gap for a sequel, (but without making this story in any way dependant on the next.) |
Re: Othaglot and Cane - Story Thread
Chapter 3 is up. Click the banner and then "fiction". We'll get on to some actual detective work next chapter, I promise.
[ June 05, 2002, 20:06: Message edited by: dogscoff ] |
Re: Othaglot and Cane - Story Thread
This latest chapter seems shorter and blander than the first two. Is there really that much difference in 'interest level' when seeing from an alien viewpoint? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif
You'd think they would have more discussion about the food problem. Wasn't Cane surprised to find that he had to catch the food himself? He didn't seem to be very surprised. Or was he 'sort of' aware of Cue Cappa feeding customs before he was sent out? If the Cue Cappa don't like recreational drugs, what do they think of cooking your food? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif I bet they'd think humans are pretty stupid for killing their food and storing it before it needs to be eaten. "As soon as it's dead it starts to spoil!" http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif |
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Baron - Good points, although I plan to address quite a few of them when Othaglot gets to Ceres IV - You might have seen a hint that human eating habits there aren't quite the same as they are on Earth. More about that about chapter 10ish.
As for shorter, blander... I can't argue with that. It didn't get the same level of reworking as the others. I might have another go at it. I've been seriously considering merging Chapter 1& 2 together, 3 & 4 & 5 together, so that it's one chapter from O, one chapter from C... Chapter 4 is a little more lively, and things get even better after that http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif Chapter 4 is now up, BTW. Rollo will be pleased to learn that he has a cameo, albeit in anagrammatical form=-) [ June 07, 2002, 08:53: Message edited by: dogscoff ] |
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OK, help needed. I want a sub-aquatic oxygen breathing race for later in the Othaglot & Cane story. I could use the Sergetti, or I could make something up, but I'm kind of hoping someone will have a more suitable race already invented. If you have one/ know of one, send me the _AI_General file.
Ta. |
Re: Othaglot and Cane - Story Thread
The Fazrah description says they are an aquatic race originally, and oxygen breathing. They might be a bit warlike for your purposed though. Who knows.
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Re: Othaglot and Cane - Story Thread
Good story, but so far Othaglot is coming off as inferior to Cane, which is probably not what you'd intended.
[ June 07, 2002, 16:31: Message edited by: dmm ] |
Re: Othaglot and Cane - Story Thread
Inferior? You think? I am not getting that at all. Perhaps less comfortable with the situation. But that is to be expected I think considering he is not as used to dealing with alien cultures as Cane is.
Not to mention the fact that an criminal investigator in the Cue Cappa race would not have the same skill level as his human counterpart. My impession so far is that Cue Cappa soceity is more structured, so there would be less crime to investigate. Cue investigators are probably more like accident investigators, what happened, how, and why, cause and effect. Where a Cane would be more used to dealing with personalities, lying, and other duplicitousness that a member of a psychic race would have little experience with. I am looking forward to seeing where Otho can bring something constuctive to the investigation though besides just keeping Cane company. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif But it's still early. They are just now really getting into the investigation. Geoschmo |
Re: Othaglot and Cane - Story Thread
I wanted to keep the balance of power/ usefulness quite even, with the two characters taking the lead alternately. Of course, I'm still getting to know them myself, so it might take me a while to get this right.
Othaglot comes into his own a bit more from Chapter 6 onwards. I've just written Chapter 5, but won't be posting it for a day or two. I think it's my favourite chapter so far - we get some decent evidence and the mystery starts to open up a little. BTW, if anyone ever gets any ideas about the mystery, please don;t post them here - you might spoil it for others if you get it right. I'd be happy to accept emails on the subject though. I won't tell you if you're right or not, but I'd be interesting to see what paths my puzzle leads ppl down. [ June 08, 2002, 15:17: Message edited by: dogscoff ] |
Re: Othaglot and Cane - Story Thread
Chapter 5 is up. Sorry about the delay, I've had it written (and chapter 6 & 7 too=-) nd ready for a week, but haven't had time to upload it.
Click my banner and then click "fiction". Slight tweaks to previous chapters, but nothing important- cosmetic changes only, really. CapnQ - Thanks for your message. I couldn't see the error you mentioned though. |
Re: Othaglot and Cane - Story Thread
Now chapter 5 is much more interesting. There still doesn't seem to be quite the same amount of 'thought processes' going on but I guess that's to be expected when the narrator is not an alien. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif
I'll be interested to know how Cane gets through the firefight without being killed, since he is unarmed? Hopefully not without personal armor or 'shield' or something... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif |
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dogscoff: I just sent a second PM quoting the sentence.
I don't think I'll be able to read Chapter 5 tonight, unfortunately. |
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Ahhh... gotcha. Thanks 'Q.
Chapter 6 will be posted as soon as I sober up. Couple of days then... |
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What's this? You belong to the F. Scott Fitzgerald school of authorship? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif
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Re: Othaglot and Cane - Story Thread
No-strings stories? Hmmmm....
Pandora's Black Box The dig was fairly routine. It was the same old story for Karamia and her team.... surveyor finds ruins of ancient civilisation, they got the call and were out here in a desolate wilderness. Indications were that the previous inhabitants wiped themselves out in a mutually destructive thermo-nuclear war, something like twenty, maybe twenty one thousand years ago. The only things left standing were these ruins, and they had slowly weathered over time so that the symbols which might be taken as the language of these people, were barely legible. "Something odd here, ma'am." "Let me see, Phyl." Karamia looked over the data. Phyl, her composition expert on loan from the military, had briefly run a dating on the materials used in the construction of the ruins. They were, give or take a year or ten, just a little older than the holocaust that had destroyed all life here. This would be the third such set of conspicuous ruins left on a 'suicided' world. The other digs, which Karamia had been involved in but never actually led, had turned up nothing of any real value. She was about to call the others in and set up a brif meeting to tell them what to expect, when the comm crackled to life. [Got something down here, Doctor Karamia. You really want to take a look at this....] "Okay I'm on my way." These kids would get excited over heiroglyphs. Her father, and some of the older archaeologists, had thrown in the shovel and gone to universities to lecture and tutor in climate-controlled conditions. What she saw when she got below though, stole her breath away. The others were leaning over a balcony, silent in their appreciation of what was below. Embedded in a huge metal portal, a warp point glowed and shimmered. It was darkened which as far as her eye could tell, meant that although it was there, it wasn't active. If it lit up blue that would be a different story. Over many years, similarly darkened wormholes had been found in space, and any efforts to activate them had met with failure. This led scientists to believe that they had been deliberately sealed long ago. The other two digs hadn't found anything like this, although one had found a fragment of what may have been this metal portal. Perhaps those ones had been buried or even destroyed, though what could damage material that could (apparently) withstand a nuclear bLast? Maybe it was the location, deep underground, that had kept it safe. Maybe it had just never figured in the all-consuming crossfire. With a bit of luck they would find something here that would activate the portal, and then a survey drone could be sent through to report on what was on the other side.... she didn't fancy taking a ruinning leap into the unknown when there could be no gravity or atmosphere on the other end. They found what they were looking for later that day, but with exhaustion setting in, Karamia and the others let the computers sift through the collated information on the control mechanism, while the team slept. Around daybreak, things went crazy. Karamia woke on the middle of a panic, klaxons wailing as the earth shook beaneath her. She scrambled out of her caravan, grabbing the first person who ran by. "What the heck is going on?" "It's Phyl.... he- he oepned the portal!" The frightened digger escaped her hold and ran on for dear life. Without warning, the ruins shook apart and slowly parted as the rock and soil beneath them was parted like paper flaps. Karamia hadn't had any idea that the wormhole would have that sort of effect, else she would have parked a lot further away. No.... it wasn't that.... Something else was pushing the ground apart, she could see it become visible, along with the furiously shimmering warp point. It was dark and hideous, and yet almost transparent to the eyes. almost as large as the warp point, it spread several 'wings' and circled the site of its re-entry into this universe, emanating a beam which bLasted away the rock surrounding the site. When it did this it became less transparent for a few moments at a time revealing its pitted and scaly hide. Karamia stood there frozen in shock as yet another being emerged from the warp point, and another, until the light from the rising sun had been subdued almost to night. They spoke to her telepathically. It was a soft and insinuating voice, but it had the warmth of evil which flowed into her mind. She resisted, but her will was nothing against that of these ancient beings. *You have summoned us. What do you want?* "I don't want anything. We.... we opened the warp point ro see where it would go." *Yes. You have freed us. Tell us.... of your desires, your dreams, and we will make them reality.* "I don't want your-" She was cut off as her mind was probed for those things which she kept locked away, secret hidden desires which she told nobody about. *Excellent. We will begin immediately. You will not be forgotten, Doctor Karamia.* As she lay there clutching her throbbing head, she realised with horror what they intended to do. "Noooo!! You can't!!!" But it was too late, they slipped away into the sky like smoke, bent on their objective and on making sure that she would be remembered throughout recorded history, or what would be left of it.... It was she who would be infamously credited for freeing the ZomE'da'tH from their extra-dimensional captivity, and the destruction of countless planets and billions of lives. It was all her fault. |
Re: Othaglot and Cane - Story Thread
C'mon, Dogscoff! We want to get to the end of the story and the solution to the mystery! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif
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Re: Othaglot and Cane - Story Thread
Sorry Baron. I'm actually mid-way through chatper 8 at the moment. I have chapter 6 ready for posting, but haven't had time. This weekend, promise.
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Re: Othaglot and Cane - Story Thread
Action-packed Chapter 6 is up.
Would anyone be interested in joining a mailing list for story updates? |
Re: Othaglot and Cane - Story Thread
Hmm. Not much happening here.
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Re: Othaglot and Cane - Story Thread
Hey Dogscoff! My little tykes haven't had a night-night story in weeks. Do it for the children!
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Re: Othaglot and Cane - Story Thread
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Re: Othaglot and Cane - Story Thread
ROTFLOLPMP
dude, this is abso*freakin*lutely hilarious http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif . I can hardly type, because I am still laughing. reminds me of Starship Troopers great work |
Re: Othaglot and Cane - Story Thread
Sorry guys... Lots of RL going on at the moment. Good news is, I have (at least) a week off work coming up, so I should be able to do some writing somewhen. I've already got chapters 7 and (most of) 8 written, butI want to do some tweaking before I release them.
Hang in there... |
Re: Othaglot and Cane - Story Thread
that was a funny story, dogscoff!
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Re: Othaglot and Cane - Story Thread
(bump)
I demand the immediate release of the next chapter of O&C or..., uhm... else. Rollo |
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