Advise
 

********************WARNING********************

BOLD, ALL CAPS and UNDERLINING will be used here!

ATTENTION, ATTENTION, ATTENTION

Advice to those unlucky at love, the loveless, the love unhappy, the love lorn, and/or dating advise thread is now open to all:

Don't have ANY problems. Then share your advise with those less fortunate than yourself!!

mlmbd http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

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I will help you and tell you all I have learned.

First you must read this theory to understand what it is to love someone.

Second, you much take this test

And Last as someone who's family came from Ireland, remeber this saysing: Sheep make for good loving.

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Cool! The mlmbd http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif advice thread!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

Dead Meat: I found that the ladder theory is rather cynical, but probably accurate! I took the test and alas, the results weren't that encouraging, to say the least. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Anyway...

Dear mlmbd http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif ,

What's the best way to make a good first impression with a girl?
Where is a good place to go on a first date?

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The ladder theory is my new god, and, after an introspective look into my social life, past present and future. well maybe not future. It is totally true to the letter.

And the test, well it had my hopes up to say the least.

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Dear mlmbd http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif ,

How do you answer this question? A girl asks you, "Do you notice anything different about me today?" You look at her, and you don't notice anything at all that's different from usual. She probably did something with her hair or got new shoelaces or something, but if you guess wrong, you're in big trouble! If you say you don't know, you're in big trouble! What do you do?

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Dead Meat, so this is ALL you have learned?

Kamog, I thought it was kinda cool myself. As to your question. First impressions are very important. You can be an ADONIS, but if you are not all together you are most likely sunk. First, don't try to be something or someone you're not. If you feel more comfortable in jeans, wear them not some designer slacks. If you really want to try and have some kind of long term relationship with this person, take them a token of your feelings (i.e., A FLOWER (a bunch of roses or other type of flower may give the impression you are thing to BUY them), a bottle of wine(if you know they drink)). But not to personal. You want to impress, not frighten them.

As places to take a first date. Hopefully you have learned something of this person. Do they like movies? If so, what kind? Other forms of entertainment. What their likes and dislike in food. All that said. Now the choice. I find that a movie followed by a coffee (so you can talk, about the movie or anything else) works very well. At least it works for me. You will find your own best way. I do hope that is some help.

If she had to ask what's different. You are ALREADY in trouble. Whether you get luck and guess right or not. Simply, you didn't notice. This may seem rough, if you REALLY CARED for this person. You would have noticed. And she wouldn't have had to ask!! So, find someone that you care enough about, to notice.

mlmbd http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

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My work is cut out for me.

Kamog: The best way to make a first impression is to put you foot on top of one of theirs. This is for a number of reasons. First, and most important. They can not get away. Second, placeing one's foot on top of anothers show that you have control over the situation. And third, they can't get away.

As for your question about noticing something diffrent. Always mention their eyes, for it is the gate way into the Heavens. If you happen not to mention their eyes and are wrong, then simply follow the example under the next question.

If you are asked; "Does this make me look fat?" Do not answer!! Their is no right answer. "No dear." has worked in the past. However studies have shown that 9 out of 10 boyfriends hesitate before answering the question. Instead it is far better to pretend to choke on ones tounge then to risk answer this question.

I hope i've helped.

Skulky: Indeed the ways of the ladder are wise.

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Correction: The ladder is all-knowing, all-seeing.

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I'm sorry to post realty here:
The women I have known seem to want honesty and sincer caring.
`

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<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">First, I (partially) agree with mlmbd's answer - if she had to ask, you're probably already in trouble. HOWEVER, the fact that she DID ask means she's giving you a second chance. This probably means you're on the GOOD ladder (thanks for posting the ladder theory link, dead meat). And, not only are you on the good ladder, you are probably at least as high on her ladder as she is on yours; possibly higher (or, in ladder theory language, you are at least equal and possibly in a position of power). All of which means you should definitely say something complimentary; perhaps along the lines of "your beauty is so distracting I can't tell what's different". You'll either get slapped for the cheesy line, or you'll get lucky. The chance of getting lucky is (usually)worth the risk of getting slapped.

BTW - I take no responsibility for any pain, injury or suffering resulting from following the above advice. Use at your own risk. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

Did I use enough boldface, italics and bold italics to acheive the right level of credibility for this thread? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

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The sucsess of DirectorTsaarx's answer is directly related to how sincerely you can deliver that um, er, balony. With just the right tone inflection and inocent look you will get lucky and not slapped. (unless you want to be slapped but I'm not going there).

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Advice from an old goat:

You are always wrong.

Start with that premise and you can never go wrong. Woman love to forgive a man. Who cares if you're right in any event? Give your ego a rest.

The corollary to the above is the answer to the question:

Would you rather be right or married? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

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To ALL;

Let's face it the LADDER, is a theory nothing more!! It maybe an Icon to some. To others it's just bunk. So, I will grant you your rights to worship anything you wish. We are just going to have to agree, that we disagree. I am never going to change your minds. And you will certainly never change mine.

ELOWAN is correct. You are always wrong.

DirectorTsaarx, if the amount of boldface, italics and bold italics makes you happy, then you used the right amount!!

Gryphin, realty is always welcome here. As far as I am concerned!!

mlmbd http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

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If during a family argument it turns out that you are right... APOLOGIZE IMMEDIATLY!!!

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LOL!!!!

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Thanks for the advice! Your words are wise. It IS very important to be sincere, caring, and honest in a relationship.

Just in case I need it, I'll have to practise the innocent look and inflection in the mirror until I get it right. However, I'm not going to step on a girl's foot to try to make a first impression, I just don't think that's a nice thing to do!

Quote:
"You are always wrong."

corollary: The woman is always right.

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Gryphin, well said. What you say is very true.

And I am by no means and expert, either. I have better than average luck with women. That doesn't mean I am an expert. However I do have life experiences that make me a little more knowledgeable than others. I feel wisdom should be pasted along. Don't you??

Kamog, I am glad to hear that you don't plan on stepping on some ones feet! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

mlmbd http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

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Guys, I'm not an expert by any means but I must be doing something right. While I was still looking around for someone permanent I always told all of my dates about the existance of all of my dates. Eventualy I ended up going on dates with 2 of them at the same time. They were so apriciative of being told the truth that they felt dating that way was better. The rule that I soon discoverd:
If I like someone, anyone else I like will like them. My dates always hit it off and a good time was had by all.
My sweetheart who moved in after a month wants to find another woman to move in with us. She really liked the chemistry of the "Triple Date".
I am not making this up.
The key is:
Open Honesty, Sincere Caring, Backing up claims of love with action such as taking out the garbage, picking up your dirty cloths, and putting the seat down. It does not hurt to bring home a rose or two but that does not count as much as the above.

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Still open for bussiness, MONKEY or otherwise! No need to shy away. People often have different views/ideas. Shoot, it's what makes this country great. I hope there isn't anyone with hurt feelings.

mlmbd http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

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We have a saying here... 'women and job offers never show up alone'. If you have a GREAT job offer, you will have another equally great offer before the week is out. If you meet a woman who seems to find you attractive, you will meet another very soon. The downside is, if you have none you are bound to stay that way.

As to being married... the wife always tells me our marriage contract has three paragraphs:

1. The wife is always right.

2. If for some reason she is wrong, read the first paragraph.

3. The fact that the wife is right does not mean the husband must support her ideas.

(well at least 1 out of 3 is in my favor)...

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Oh, I see, once you've got one girlfriend, it's easy to get more? Well, according to the Ladder Theory, it seems that the most important factor for success is to have lots of money (you get placed higher up on her ladder). Therefore, it makes sense to concentrate one's efforts on becoming super rich, and then it should be easier to attract women.

So now the question is, how does one become super rich??

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<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">A few ways:
1. Win the lottery.
2. Inheritance.
3. Become a professional athlete.
4. Become a rock star.
5. Sell a kidney.
6. Win a frivolous lawsuit.
7. Rob a bank.
8. Lie.

Too bad that 1-7 are either highly unlikely or highly illegal, and #8 could be lethal when she finds out.... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

Quikngruvn

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The ladder theory seems a bit cynical and non-helpful. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon9.gif

mlmbd http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif :
I sometimes don't know what to talk about...ie...mind goes blank, when I'm with a girl. The weather seems to be a Last ditch effort of things to talk about. What do you suggest? http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...s/confused.gif

KirbyEF

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To All; believe me just being rich isn't the answer. The super rich don't get all the want. I know several guys with very little money that have to beat women of with a stick. You need, STYLE.

kirbyef, you just need to do more meeting, more talking and simply more interaction with women. The more you practice, the better you become. Just like anything. Talk about movies. If nothing else comes to mind. Most women at least like movie. Common ground. If you are REALLY smart, find another theory to adopt!

mlmbd http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

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The reason Job Offers and Women come in multibles is you are ready.
At that point in time if you have the desired traits for 1, you will have the desired traits for many. As far as taking advantage of many women, Find a bi sexual polyamorous women.
In terms of wealth, forget it. Any woman who makes that a priorty will ruin your life.
Hm, make that Any Person.
In terms of looking for a specific person try the Online personals.
You can get great Target Marketing there.
It is how I found mine.

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Disclaimer: The ladder theory was posted as a joke to lighten up the topic (plus I couldn't resits posting it:) ). Its views in no way represent the real world. Though it does have somethings that make you think.

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DeadMeat,
You mean I was supposed to read it?
ooops, I never went there. I took the thread in a serious vain. but not invain.

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http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif Yes, I got a kick out of it when i first read it. Then this topic showed up a few days latter and i couldn't resist posting it.

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Dead Meat, sure would have saved yourself a bunch of grief, if you had made those DISCLAIMERS earlier!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Gryphin, excellent points, Herr Gryphin!

mlmbd http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

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The biggest consideration on the ladder is POWER, not money. In our commercial society money=power.
POWER can take many forms: strength, stamina, status, influence, family, land, money, and even politics.

As a young girl grows into an adult, the PERCEPTION of which form of power is important can change.

Raising succesfull children is not cheap (time, labor, money). Unsuccessfull and unhealthy children are even more costly. So it makes sense to be attracted to healthy bucks and later prefer providers.

Just my Cynical 2 cents on women. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif

An equally cynical view of males. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

Males just have one ladder....so whats the strategy....
Their genes are best spread by planting them in many hosts. They only contribute 1/2 the DNA but not the microchandria... (something or other).

Child raising limits a mans ability to spread his genes. He must find women who can raise a child alone or one who can get another man to help. So a womans attractiveness to males becomes important. Remember that health and youth are important parts of attractiveness.

The healthier the woman the more likely the child will be sucessfull (healthy). The healthy and younger woman should be able to provide more child raising labor. The healthy, younger, and attractive woman is more likely to find a provider male to help with the childs success.

[ November 25, 2002, 20:03: Message edited by: Wardad ]

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Wardad: You're not being cynical, that theory of yours has a name - 'evolutionary psychology' or somesuch. It attempts to explain the differences in male and female behavior by proving that both contribute to the survival of the species. It may not be perfect, but IMO it's the best explanation for said behavior so far.

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All right, here's a question for you guys...

Is it acceptable for a guy to go out with a girl who is 10 years younger than him? How about 20 years younger? What is the rule, if any, on how much age difference is OK, and when does it become not OK?

Someone told me that the maximum acceptable age difference is 7 years. I pointed out that some movie stars who get married have huge age differences of 20 - 30 years plus, but then I was told that movie stars are rich so the rule doesn't apply to them. What do you think?

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Kamog, I personally don't think if you are and "adult", you should be dating minors. But hey, that's just my opinion. For what it's worth!
As to what the acceptable age difference is. It is what you can stand. It is after all, you and the other party involved. It really makes no difference what everyone else thinks. So, what you can stand, in terms of "stairs", "rude comments" and sometimes just being "ostracized". What your physique can stand.

mlmbd http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

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Well, hmmm...

Let's make some assumptions:

Legally, the age of majority in the States is 18. After 18 years of age, the government cannot make or enforce any laws, regulations, or involve themselves in any way with the decision for a man a woman to become involved.

By the time someone is 25, as a rule they are living independently. Not having anyone paying for their education, covering them for insurance, having any financial control over the choices that they make, and they are pretty much stuck with both the great and rotten choices that they make from that point on for the rest of their lives.

So, from 18 until you are actually carving your own way under your own steam, be considerate of the other people who are carrying you on their backs. After that, it doesn't matter, as long as both of them are of sound mind. Their own choices and their own consequences.

Man 26, Women 25 - ok
Women 35, Man 25 - ok
Man 50, Women 25 - ok, lucky dog
Women 85, Man 25 - creepy, but ok

CombatSquirrel

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<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">According to the ladder theory, a man will screw the lowest woman on his ladder if he is drunk and has nothing better to do. After being used this way, or after being warned by friends, she may wise up. The woman may want to feel she is higher on your ladder than other women.
She needs to see other women on your ladder before she feel assured her rung is good one.

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[quote]Originally posted by Wardad:

Quote:

The woman may want to feel she is higher on your ladder than other women. She needs to see other women on your ladder before she feel assured her rung is good one.

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I see it another way... she wants to know if you're on some other woman's 'good' ladder. If you are, then you must have some positive qualities.

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On a practical level age differance:
Women live longer than men by about 5 years or so.
That said, my sweetheart is 10 years yonger.

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Gryphin, good show ole chap!

Hopefully someone will find a match (the kind you light), to put to that ladder! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

mlmbd http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

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mlmbd ,
I'll be in texas next year. maybe we can hot seat a game.
My success was due to "Targe Marcketting".
Knowing how and where to place a personal was the key. Treating people right is a requisette.

[ December 03, 2002, 13:40: Message edited by: Gryphin ]

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Sure, just let me know when!

mlmbd http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

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I agree, it seems that in the longrun.... women do not want to be lied to....

If more people were honest, then the divorce rate would be much lower....

Just a thought...

KirbyEF

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Yeah, nobody wants to be lied to, in the short run or the long run...

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As hard as it seems to be, from time to time. Honesty is ALWAYS Best!

kirbyef, you are learning, my young "PADAWAN". For those that do not know the term is from "Star Wars".

mlmbd http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

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kirbyef,
While what you say about truth and lower divorce is correct, I susspect it is more that the person who tells the truth will also over all have the personalty that would be conducive to a good relationship.
Note I avoide the word "marriage". I'll wear a ring again when you shove it on my Cold, Dead, Hands
(but I'm not bitter).

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Gryphin, oh I can tell you not bitter! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

I'm not either. Believe me. If my exwife jumped, was pushed or just fell of a cliff. I would be right there at the bottom, to make absolutley sure there were things she could impale herself on. Oh, yeah! NO BITTERNESS here! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

mlmbd http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

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mlmbd
Now, it did cost me years of emotional *ell, But, I must say I am happier than I have ever been in my life, (save for 5 others years which these are very similar),
How many guys do you know come out of a marriage with a woamn that works out 3x a week and looks greate in spandex and men envied me but the physical emotional aspect of it was unprintable, (and almost ileagle).
And
3 years later finds a woman that wants a permament FFM household. 2nd quesiton, how many people think I'm making this up? How many want proof?

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<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">EVEN IF YOU ARE WRONG!!!!!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

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Wow Gryphin!!!
My EX only had multiple personalities. I never knew who I was coming home to. Later, they became aware of each other and started to talk and lie to each other. Did you ever try to make love to a committee? She honestly became jealous of herself!!!!

-------------------------------------------------
My new wife is quite normal. She is from Roswell, and I do not understand her.

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Gryphin, Oh I believe you. No proof needed, here! My EX was way to busy with her Mrs. Texas duties, for me to have any idea what she looked like in or out of spandex!

mottlee, especially if you're wrong!

Wardad, LOL! Nope never tried a commitee relationship, with just person!

mlmbd http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif

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What about legalizing having more than one wife again? Say 3 or 5 (even numbers don't works a good)...

It seems that some do this, but are only legally married to one. Some are married, but have relationships outside there marriage (affairs)...

Just a thought....

KirbyEF