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a piece of pizza in a box
*FWUP*
don't worry, it's a humane human trap. the researcher will be around shortly. |
Re: a piece of pizza in a box
..."Chew - munch - Gulp!" Ahhh, Taz love pizza!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif
Whaaa? Taz in trap??!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon8.gif "Whirr - Spin - Crack." Sorry about trap, but Taz see cheese pizza now!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif |
Re: a piece of pizza in a box
*repizza's the trap and makes trap stronger*
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Re: a piece of pizza in a box
Hang on - there is a trap under this pizza! Hmm....
*Sets trap off with stick (the stick gets stuck, but that's okay), takes pizza from now harmless trap* Have a nice day! |
Re: a piece of pizza in a box
it's a box trap. your stuck. now get out of the other trap, this isn't a quantum study.
*restocks pizza* [ May 13, 2003, 07:22: Message edited by: narf poit chez BOOM ] |
Re: a piece of pizza in a box
In that case, I still have the stick
*Props open trap, leaves* |
Re: a piece of pizza in a box
*takes the stick out of the trap and makes it a one-way airlock system. except for him. makes it take a master key, which he keeps. makes some notes.*
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Re: a piece of pizza in a box
"Woundwort to O'Brien... energise."
(Beams into airlock. Eats pizza.) "Excellent pizza, Narf." http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif "O'Brien... energise." (Beams out of airlock) NEXT! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif |
Re: a piece of pizza in a box
/me sniffs around looking for pizza. Finding only crumbs, he detonates a thermonuclear device to express his frustration.
Oh, wait, that's the Bar Trek world. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...s/rolleyes.gif |
Re: a piece of pizza in a box
Krsqk, as Captain Elect of the TSSS Phong's Head and doyenne of the "Bar Trek" world, I resent that remark about us resorting to thermonuclear weaponry everytime we are frustrated by any little thing...
Check out the current state of the first episode of Bar Trek, and you will see that we have instead resorted to about 2000 assorted Liz Hurley, Liv Tyler, Salma Hayek, Britney Spears and Shania Twain clones fighting each other in mud whilst naked... Less environmentally catastrophic than nuclear weaponry, but still, throw in some of the regulars on Bar Trek and you might just have developed a new "Big Bang" theory... Growltigga inspects the box and the pizza underneath it, picks up his trusty Husquevarna chainsaw and steps under box. Trap is triggered and all that can be heard are happy sounds of munching, closely followed by the chainsaw revving up. Growltigga cuts his way out of the box and says "Cheers Narf, but next time can you not put pineapple on the pizza, there is no excuse for that" |
Re: a piece of pizza in a box
Indiana Geoschmo approached the Pizaa box trap warily. He pauses for a moment to regain control his breathing and take stock of his suroundings. This was the moment he had worked for all these years. The Pizza Box would finally be his. But only if he could defeat the nefarious device that he knew was protecting it.
He studied the pedastal intently, trying to divine it's inner workings. It was similer to many of the other Pizza box traps he had faced in his years as world famous adventurer and expert in food antiquities. He thought about the time he almost fell to the devious Aztec Calzone wheel of death. He would have to be more careful this time. Indiana Geoschmo scratched his four day old beard and pulled a small bag from a loop on his pack. He held it in his left hand feeling it's weight as he studied the Pizza box before him, mentally comparing the two. He reached into he bag and pulled out a handful of sand and let it sprinkle through his fingers to the floor. Finally satisfied the two were equal, he took the Last half-step towards the pedestal. He held his breath and made the switch with a smooothness that showed his years of practice. Removing the Pizza Box from the trap while simultaneously replacing it with the perfectly balanced bag of sand. He held his breath, but nothing happened. Indiana Geoschmo smiled and turned to leave the cavern. Before he took two steps he felt a low rumble and heard the sounds of stones grinding agaisnt one another. He looked back over his shoulder to see the pedastal that once held the Pizza Box starting to descend into the floor. Indiana Geoschmo knew he may have only moments to live as he dashed for the exit out of the cavern. Would he make it out alive? Would he live to collect his reward for recovering the lost Pizza Box? |
Re: a piece of pizza in a box
*dogscoff enters trap. Eats pizza, but still isn't satisfied. He begins munching happily on the box.
Was there tuna on that pizza? I can taste fish... |
Re: a piece of pizza in a box
*Ragnarok sees the box from a few yards away and notices that others are getting trapped. So he decides to keep his distance. He begins digging a hole and after an hour or four he digs out of the groun inside the box and eats the pizza, he proceeds to leave through his hole happy he beat the trap.* http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif
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Re: a piece of pizza in a box
clipboard notes: geo fails to make it out of the box. however, at the rate dogscoff is eating the box, not to mention ragnoraks hole, neither of them are going to be in there long.
fills up ragnoraks hole, repairs the box, reinforces the box with steel bars. puts more pizza in the box. |
Re: a piece of pizza in a box
Looks at the termoil below.
Locks in cordinates in transporters Beems pizza directly to oven to be warmed Beems it to my table when ready. Enjoys pizza |
Re: a piece of pizza in a box
how come the other ones closed?
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Re: a piece of pizza in a box
*Dons gray jumpsuit, mullet, headband*
*Approaches trap in unnatural prone crawl* *Acquires box, adds box to inventory* *Switches 'object in use' from Diazepam to BOXA* *Sneaks off unseen, cleverly disguised as cardboard box* |
Re: a piece of pizza in a box
Quote:
Geoschmo |
Re: a piece of pizza in a box
Agent Double-Oh Oh sees box with pizza. Confidently walks up to it, the trap springs and Agent Double-OH OH is trapped. Unconcerned about this event he takes a sample and puts in portable analyzer to check for toxins. Finding none he proceeds to eat pizza, as a result of this he puts on a few pounds. After eating two slices he recalls earlier conversation with M and remembers he must fight free radicals. Walks to the lock and studies it, then reaches for his trusty lock picks only to find them missing. after searching around he notices them lying on the ground OUTSIDE the trap well out of reach. Not a problem, he still has his handy-dandy laser cutting watch. he aims the laser at the lock and pushes the on button, after 2 seconds the laser shuts off. Agent Double-Oh Oh looks at his watch and realizes the battery died. (at that moment he sees this pink bunny banging a drum go by and hears from out of nowhere "STILL GOING AND GOING AND GOING...") Next he takes off the heel of his shoe and pulls out a charge of pLastic explosive from its antistatic bag, replaces heel of shoe, stretches detonator from watch to explosive, and places in lock. He moves the required distance away from explosive, then remembers his battery is dead. Agent Double-Oh Oh proceeds to search the box for other ways out but doesnt find any. In frustration he pulls out his cell phone and calls Uncle Q. After a short wait Agent Double-Oh Seven arrives in his new Astin Martin, takes Agent Double-Oh Oh's lock picks and hands them to him, gives him a stern lecture and drives off to meet his russian contact. Leaving Agent Double-Oh Oh in the cage to get himself out. Taking his lockpicks he goes to the cages lock and angrily sticks them in to try and pick the lock. The pick hits the side of the lock and a causes a spark of electricity which sets off the explosive charge. While this does open the lock it also causes severe damage to Agent Double-Oh Oh. After being rescued and sent to the hospital it is determined that the damage is too severe to repair. He has lost his right eye, his right arm and both legs plus his hearing. M recalls a U.S. special project and ships Agent Double-Oh Oh, and the pizza, to the OSS in the United States. M is heard to make the remark "Let the bloody yanks deal with him!".
next scene is a surgery unit in some unknown location in the United States. The Doctor in charge is saying "Gentlemen we can rebuild him. We have the .............." [ May 13, 2003, 21:38: Message edited by: DESDINOVA ] |
Re: a piece of pizza in a box
well, *looks at clipboard* i'm trying to determine the mice/human porportion here. unfortunatly my subjects keep running off on me.
fixes trap, repizza's trap, makes it transporter-proof. adds bLast shielding. improves lock. if the other ones annoying just keep it closed. current inhabitants: geoschmo dogscoff [ May 13, 2003, 21:43: Message edited by: narf poit chez BOOM ] |
Re: a piece of pizza in a box
Dazed and confused, Alpha Kodiak takes a break from staring at indecypherable BizTalk HIPAA Accelerator sample maps. At that moment his subconscious programmer's mind locks on to the scent of pizza. Without thinking he grabs the slice of pizza and fails to notice the trap spring on him. He begins to walk back to his desk, dragging the trap and all those in it back to his desk. Once he arrives at his desk, he dimly realizes that he can't see the monitor because of the box. Unsure what to do, he decides to take a nap....
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Re: a piece of pizza in a box
chains the box to the floor. it's now in kodiak's cubicle.
occupants: geoschmo dogscoff kodaik. [ May 13, 2003, 23:15: Message edited by: narf poit chez BOOM ] |
Re: a piece of pizza in a box
*Wandering through Alpha Kodiak's office, Jack spots an odd device of high teck, and calls a friend on an unsecured cell-phone to tell about this strange thing.*
*A local "mechanic" overhears the conversation on his "special radio", triangulates on the location, and calls his, um, "crew"* *The "crew" comes by with a bunch of power tools, reduces the box to its constituent parts, and carts them away for either parts (sensors that can distinguish individuals, the computer that runs them, good locks) or scrap (chain, bLast shielding, other metal parts), leaving nothing but the box's inhabitants and the pizza.* *Jack blinks, ends the phone conversation, and walks away very quickly and very quietly.* That's the problem with high-tech traps - they have valuable parts.... |
Re: a piece of pizza in a box
quickly throws another box over the inhabitants that's the same as the Last one, pizza's it, and adds 50,000 volt traps for mechanics.
occupants: geoschmo dogscoff kodiak new: katchoo [ May 14, 2003, 00:29: Message edited by: narf poit chez BOOM ] |
Re: a piece of pizza in a box
Having witnessed other people's attempts to attain the sacred Pizza, Katchoo devises a plan so cunning, so evil, so diabolical, that it permantantly warps the minds of all those who grasp it's existance.
Unfortunately, Katchoo gets distracted by the spinning motion of a ceiling fan above him and promptly forgets his scheme. Gazing upon the box once more, Katchoo promptly gets ensnared with the others. Katchoo (addressing the others in the box): "So....anyone up for a game of Twister? I brought the baby oil." http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif |
Re: a piece of pizza in a box
Alpha Kodiak wakes up from his nap and, now refreshed, recognizes his situation. After pondering for a moment, he takes the obligatory diet coke from his desk and pours a few drops into the lock's key hole. He makes a chain of paper clips and sticks one end into the key hole. After carefully wrapping the lock in duct tape to protect the occupants of the trap, he attaches the other end of the paper clip chain to the 50000 volt anti-mechanic trap. He then sets off the trap, causing the diet coke in the lock to instantly vaporize, blowing the lock to pieces. Thanks to the duct tape, no one in the trap is injured. He then opens the box and steps out, looks at the BizTalk Mapper still open on his screen, climbs back in the box, closes it and goes back to sleep.
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Re: a piece of pizza in a box
runs offscreen fast, runs back, replaces the 50,000 volt mechanic protection but only on the outside. runs offscreen, runs back, replaces the lock. falls aspleep for 30 minutes.
occupants: same. [ May 14, 2003, 00:36: Message edited by: narf poit chez BOOM ] |
Re: a piece of pizza in a box
I smell some pizza... the smell is coming from this big armored box but I can't figure out how to get in!
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Re: a piece of pizza in a box
Well, a Null space cannon's one way; although it might get into the cheese...
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Re: a piece of pizza in a box
one-way double airlock system. 2 doors+ridges on floor
what, i'm not tied up and stuffed in the box yet? i'm disapointed. oh well, i'm awake re: back from non-forum stuff now have to go through here and keep a list of all the improvements to the box. [ May 14, 2003, 02:51: Message edited by: narf poit chez BOOM ] |
Re: a piece of pizza in a box
Bug comes in, sees aliens all around some box. After short but useless attempts to get in bug simply snatches the pizza while partially remaining outside. With a *THUNK* the box tries to close... and gets stuck on the rigid chitin. happy, the bug munches on pizza and walks away, buzzing.
http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif |
Re: a piece of pizza in a box
it's a double airlock.
occupants: geoschmo dogscoff kodiak katchoo taera |
Re: a piece of pizza in a box
A double airlock would be excessive.
A simple airlock still has two doors, and the inner one only opens if the outer one is closed. Of course, no matter how many airlocks you have, you can't prevent people from waiting for someone to come in... 1) hapless soul #1 comes in looking for pizza. 2) as inner door opens to let him in, the gang piles into the airlock with pizza in hand. 3) when hapless soul #2 comes along, the inner door closes, the outer door opens to let him in, and he gets stampeded by the departing ex-trapees. A double airlock merely requires twice as many hapless souls to wander in. [ May 14, 2003, 03:29: Message edited by: Suicide Junkie ] |
Re: a piece of pizza in a box
Taz need more pizza! Hmmm, only one pizza box left!
 Taz studies trap...is much improved!  Taz sighs and reluctantly starts up long dorment brain...a humming noise is noticed - rapidly building up to a high roar. Suddenly a sputtering noise is heard. Quickly the roar dies to a whisper and the all is again silent... Knew I should have checked my sugar (brain fuel) level. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif Is OK however; that brief moment of power gave Taz an idea! (Make note of time, date, & place - is miracle!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/image...s/rolleyes.gif ) Reaching deep into his pockets (Of course Taz's have pockets, just don't ask where...)Taz pulls out his ACME Hand-held Time Machine. Taz stands next to box and sets it for two days ago. Box disappears as Taz goes back in time. He then walks to where box will be and presses the return button. Taz materializes beside the pizza within the box. Quickly grabbing the pizza, he again goes back in time. Taz then walks out of box area and again hits the return to present button. Mmmmm goood, Narf sure knows his pizza!!! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon7.gif As Taz walks slowly out of Kodiak's cubical, he 'helps' Kodiak but pressing the power button. (No need to thank me Kodiak, you obviously didn't mean to leave the power on while you're not working! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif ) |
Re: a piece of pizza in a box
The vivacious Dingo-cat had heard legends of the legendary piece of pizza, guarded by The Box: a security system so unbelievably complex & high-tech, it cost more than the yearly budget of most Neutral Empires.
But where many others had failed, Dingocat would succeed. Dingocat approaches the box with caution, until situated exactly 4 spaces away from the pizza, and 2 spaces away from the infamous Box. Pulling out a Tractor Beam II, Dingocat fires it at the pizza slice and hits on first shot - it is close range, ya know. Due to the laws of time & space governing Tractor Beams, the slice does not go crashing into Dingocat, but instead stops just before impact. The minimal damage caused by the Tractor Beam makes the cheese all warm and gooey http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif ... Dingocat enjoys the swiped pizza slice, and goes home happy http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif |
Re: a piece of pizza in a box
it's a reinforced box with steel bars, teleport proofing, quick-closing doors and a 50,000 volt anti-*mechanic* device. yeah, i got a bit confused. single airlock, which has 2 doors. so dingocats have delusions and doesn't have any pizza.
adds temporal shielding. changes the double doors to transporters and walls. transporter, wall, transporter, wall. cooks another pizza and eats it. hey, why should you be getting all the pizza? [ May 14, 2003, 05:06: Message edited by: narf poit chez BOOM ] |
Re: a piece of pizza in a box
Chronon, currently traveling with Zaphod Beeblebrox in the Heart of Gold, suddenly smells pizza. "Zaphod, do you smell pizza?" he asks.
"Yeah, man, we've just appeared in some kind of strange box with a pizza, and some really weird aliens," Zaphod replies. "Which reminds me, I'm hungry. Marvin, could you come here please?" "I suppose you want me to go and get the pizza for you," says Marvin dejectedly. "Yeah, how'd you know?" "All this computing power, and what do they want? A servant. Marvin, open the door, Marvin, get the pizza, Marvin, deactivate the traps..." "Did he say something about traps?" asks Chronon. "Yeah, whatever..." replies Zaphod. Marvin exits the Heart of Gold, disarms the traps, and retrieves the pizza. "Thanks Marvin," mumbles Chronon, mouth full of pizza. "Hey, this would go great with a Pan-Galactic Gargle BLaster," muses Zaphod, reaching for a glass. Eddie the shipboard computer, re-engages the Infinite Improbability Drive and the Heart of Gold disappears... |
Re: a piece of pizza in a box
Hmm, I think I'll stay away... As delicious as it might be, I'm not going to risk being trapped in there just for a piece of pizza. I can just go to the pizza restaurant down the street and buy an entire pizza for about $10. I might be more motivated to go into the box if there were something more significant in there. http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif
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Re: a piece of pizza in a box
Fyron walks up to the box. He casts a spell of metal-shaping on it, and forms a large hole. Luckily, he was far enough back that the stampede of escaping victims does not crush him. He goes in, grabs the pizza, and walks out.
[ May 14, 2003, 06:35: Message edited by: Imperator Fyron ] |
Re: a piece of pizza in a box
All those who approach the box hear a song wallowing from within. It's a song of despair and sorrow, sung with a deep voice:
" Nooooobody knows, the trouble i've seen, Nooooobody knows, but Jesus... " http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif The sound of a tin can clattering against metal bars can also be heard from within... *tink*tink*tink* May the Schwartz be with you http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif |
Re: a piece of pizza in a box
You can escape from the hole I made! http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon10.gif
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Re: a piece of pizza in a box
Quote:
(That's what I get for reading articles about time-space continuums and corporate scandals... http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon12.gif ) |
Re: a piece of pizza in a box
if there going to escape, there going to have escape themselves. they can use holes created by other people, you just can't say they escaped, that would be to easy. marvin didn't do anything about the one-way, transporters so no pizza for him. and the traps are for people who try to disassemble the box. whole pizza to.
narf runs into the room and patches the hole with reinforced wall-in-a-tube. he then adds anti-metal shaping shielding, an attached bathroom and a water bottle. adds another pizza. no fair posting while i'm posting. anyway, any action which could succeed, does. since the walls are bLast-proof, you can't bLast them. but, the reinforcement doesn't totaly stop main force, although you'd have to be stronger than taz. that's the type of rules i've been running this by. occupants: geoschmo dogscoff kodiak katchoo taera [ May 14, 2003, 07:09: Message edited by: narf poit chez BOOM ] |
Re: a piece of pizza in a box
Fyron casts a spell of disintegration upon the walls. As there is no bLasting involved, he succeeds, and the walls disintegrate. He watches as the prisoners stare dumbfounded-ly at the lack of box as he grabs the pizza and runs away.
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Re: a piece of pizza in a box
Gwaihir walk in, sees the box, smells the pizza, because a well known physical law states that pizza can be smelled from anywhere within a two room radius, no matter how large the room or how well contained the pizza. This fact still puzzles researchers, some of whom feel that this is the key to understanding the Big Bang.
Thinking of the Big Bang gives Gwaihir an idea. He pulls out his handy Tnuctipun gun, sets it to "total conVersion" (yes, this appeared in an animated star trek episode, but i am using the original Known Space info, not the slightly altered Version Niven used for Star Trek, which said the gun was slaver tech - - - y'all should read known space books, they = tres cool) Anyhow, he then steps back as far as he can, ie outside the building and several blocks away, uses a normal setting to bLast a hole in the inteceding parts of the building to give a line of sight to the box, and then gives as short a burst as he can, converting a tiny bit of the side of the box directly from matter to energy, resulting in an enormous explosion. He then returns to the box, and finds that he overjudged the thickness slightly - the explosion vented far too much inside, and the pizza is spread across the wreckaged of the box, mixed with white hot metal. It now has nice meaty toppings, though! if only they weren't quite so overcooked . . . As he is about to grab some of the least cooked toppings, two eyes pop open in the blackened mess, and it groans, prompting several other pairs of eyes to open. Realizing that he forgot an important principle of cartoon physiobiology, Gwaihir glances around, finds the sprinkler system, and whips a large mallet out of the air over the characters, which is glistening with cartoon potential energy. He smashes the sprinkler, and the blackened, squashed characters sigh with relief as they sizzle back to their normal shapes. While they recover, Gwaihir leaves, trying to come up with a better way to break the security next time. edit: Gwaihir also runs into Fyron outside, also leaving, and realizes that he has just been a victim of post simultaneity, in which two wholly different events occurred in the same place at the same time, but the separate legs of the troUsers of time ended up going into the same sock. He runs away before any strange effects take hold. [ May 14, 2003, 07:39: Message edited by: Gwaihir ] |
Re: a piece of pizza in a box
Fyron watches as the fabric of space-time around him begins to crumble. Having mastered the arts of chronomancy long ago, Fyron is not afraid of what may come next.
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Re: a piece of pizza in a box
nobody post. gotta fix fast!
dodging bits of exploding space-time, narf stumbles accross his lab/kodaik's office, desperatly searching for it. WHAM! table! narf shoves off the table, barely avoiding, by accident, a blue bit. explosions shake the bulding, and peices of building and bits space-time continuim fly by him. peices of building intersect bits of space-time continium and are anialated! narf dodges, dips and weaves, but the scarf is only for emergencies. he comes to the door of his lab, and plungles on. an explosion rocks the building and narf slams against the wall. narf staggers up and clutches his ribs, but keeps on going except in front of him there's a pit. wipping out the scarf, he throws it around the light fixture and careenes accros the room. landing staggering, he puts out his hands to catch himself against the wall then moves right over to the door. at the end of the room, not affected yet by the bits and peices, which are mostly still in the other room is a lever. narf staggers into the room and drops and rolls to avoid a bit, then pulls the lever marked reset down 4 no 5 Posts, dodges a lightsaber bLast. everything is reset to the state of my Last post. [ May 14, 2003, 08:18: Message edited by: narf poit chez BOOM ] |
Re: a piece of pizza in a box
Quote:
Dingocat powers up a lightsaber, and cuts through the walls ***WORN*** *Turns off Lightsaber* Ahhh, a whole pizza. May use the newly installed bathroom, while I'm at it http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/tongue.gif ----------------- ----------------- Edit: Darn this disintegrating space-time continuum! By the time I finished with my lightsaber, Gwaihir & Fyron had already stolen the pizza twice...meaning there should be a negative 2 pizza deficiency http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/shock.gif Edit-Edit: Space-time continuum already been fixed...The stuff I did happened in between narf repairing the continuum, and having fixed it...which means my lightsaber antics have become nothing more than a possible alternate reality that never happened http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/images/icons/icon6.gif [ May 14, 2003, 08:27: Message edited by: Dingocat85 ] |
Re: a piece of pizza in a box
space-time continuim is fixed.
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Re: a piece of pizza in a box
please do not post now. i cannot run frantically around the lab if i'm asleep.
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