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so the other day i saw this emu, and i know alot of you are thinking, hey cool, an emu. all of you, obviously, have never came head to head with one. they always seem so cool, due to their name and such, but in person they are quite surly. so anyway, im in a large feild and this thing comes up to me that looks like some sort of ostrich who got drunk Last night and had the hell beat out of him, the emu is sort of the groggy uncle of the animal kingom, the weird guy who lives upstairs and never quite fit in. anyway the emu and i, we copulated...
there were two seals sitting in a swimming pool of warm crisco, and one says to the other, hey will you pass the soap, and the second says back what do i look like? a typewriter?

*Funny remark about drinking and posting*

A guy is driving around and he sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog For Sale."

He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador retriever sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the Lab replies.

"So, what's your story?"

The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running.

"But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I wanted to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in.

I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

"Ten dollars." The guy says,

"This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Because he's a liar. He didn't do any of that."

Quote:

Agrajag said:
*Funny remark about drinking and posting*

"Dont drink and drive the Super-Information-Highway"