[Ruatha]

Weyrlings 2405.3
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The private diary of Elyssandra Eliason, Grand Admiral of the Fleet, Matriarch of the Weyrlings and Hero of the Empire.

Location: Destroyer Responder, Taskforce Elyssandra Flag.
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Standing here in my quarter staring out into space, my inside feels as empty as the view in the windows.

Problems, problems, problems. Always something that needs my attention.

Trouble is brewing everywhere.

The one thing that finally gave me some exhilaration since Ruatha’s death turned to nothing.

The Earth Alliance cruisers Lexington 1 and the Claymore 4 turned and ran as fast they could. The new leader of the Earth Alliance started talking of peace and restoration of the alliance almost before we knew the alliance was dissolved.

No combat for me and my fleet this time it seems. We can’t really blame them for the destruction of the spy ship, it wasn’t supposed to be there, and it was an Earth alliance system after all.

Deniability, we can’t even mourn our lost crew in public, they never existed.

We must go and retrieve the remnants of that ship; we owe it to that crew. I really hate those mines. Now we’ve lost five ships to these mines throughout our history. No enemy in sight and then unexpected death.

Never again. I shouldn’t have let that ship face those mines alone, they should have had mine sweepers with them, what was I thinking of? Ordering the intelligence service to increase surveillance but not instructing them how! Always, Always specify what you want done Elyssandra, into every detail, do never forget that again!! But who could have expected the Earth Alliance to cancel the Military Alliance, it had Lasted for so long!

I should have expected it, never trust anyone but yourself!

But, alas. New threats are looming at the horizon. Oh to feel combat again and rid the mind of all thoughts. The initial anticipation and exhilaration turning towards fear as the enemy approaches, then nothing, cold as ice inside when the guns start vibrating through the hull and the shields screech while trying to fend of the incoming fire. And finally, the liberating victory, to still be alive contrary to all expectations before the engagement.

Those who made me hero of the empire don’t know the fear I felt as the Sons of Thunder Destroyer approached my small weapon platform, statistically we would have been dead within minutes. Pure luck I think, ingenious strategic and tactical mastermind, the military headquarter called it.

Combat. It might not be as far away though even if the Earth Alliance turned and ran home. The Central Power headquarter is controlling half our fleet at this moment. Operation Sledgehammer is proceeding as planned. I might just get there in time to take control of the Weyrling part of the operation.

Although no one doubts the success of the operation it’s still one of the most dangerous situations we’ve put ourselves in, not even the lunatic Ruatha posed such a threat to the empire.

This operation will make a massive resource drain on the empire, if the FMA attacked during the operation we wouldn’t stand a chance. But so far they do seem to be preoccupied, let’s hope that continues.

I’ve given the diplomatic corps the mission to forge a new treaty organization, the JOint DEfence Treaty organization (JODET), that ought to alleviate any threat of an FMA attack.


Seeing this empty space outside makes my thoughts wander. I haven’t seen Illian, loved husband for three months, my heart aches. It’s probably for the best though. I can’t stand hurting him anymore, so this separation is a relief as well. I must divorce him, I know that, but I cannot, cannot, it hurts so much!

If only he knew how much I love him, but he mustn’t be allowed to realize that.

Oh, Illian, how did it come to this, we were always so good to each other. And now the empire has parted us. As always we must do our best for the empire, after all, there must be a place left for our children to grow up in.

I remember when I first realized you were in the underground movement. Your confused scientific mind could never keep such a secret from an organized officer as me. You kept leaving compromising documents lying on your desk plain to see. I burned so many of them, yet you never wondered what had happened to them, knowing you, you had probably forgotten they existed. I’m glad all the children had moved out, they would have known instantly as well, had they still lived at home.

I didn’t know what to do in the beginning. My duty to the empire would have made me report you. Ruatha would probably have had us both killed then, still that wouldn’t have stopped me. But my love for you did, 34 years together and you can still spark that fire in my heart.

I couldn’t tell you either, you would never have continued in the underground then and risked my life.

After reading your documents I started understanding what you were doing and why, and I do agree, The One must be awakened. Only you have the mind needed to finish that task. That was what most attracted me so long ago, your smart head, always running hot with ideas and thoughts.
So what was I to do then? I started distancing myself from you, turning away in bed, not answering when you spoke to me at dinner. You have tried to talk to me about our relationship but I always refused. Hurrying to work, saying that the affairs of the empire were more important than you, I lied. You are most important to me by far, but if you don’t awaken The One I’m sure I’d loose you anyway. The imaginative ones are easier targets for the madness it seems.

The whole empire is about to crumble and fall in upon itself, I’ve seen the madness spread.

These Ruathians must be a sign of the madness, more people are worshipping him now than when he was alive. And then it was mandatory, you were obliged by law to worship him.
Now I heard they want to build a huge statue of Ruatha holding a shoe in his hand, they must be mad!

I’ll have my secretary draw up the papers for the divorce and send them to you. It will probably come as a shock to you, but I can’t go on seeing you everyday, loving you and at the same time trying my best to hurt you. If I’m lucky I might get killed in this Sledgehammer operation.

I’ve heard they’ve made a new flagship for me, the Indestructible. So it doesn’t look like I’ll have that escape route, damn!

What I’d really want to do is to take you with me on a starship, we’d fight our way out to the unexplored west. Rumours says that there are strange civilisations out there. And great wars. Nothing substantial, probably mostly drunken bar imagination, but the CCCP ambassador looked a bit embarrassed when he denied that they were at war, so who knows. I heard my crew telling stories they’ve picked up in bars while speaking to CCCP traders. There was this story about these funny aliens, dying from bubble baths!. What we do not know, we make up histories about! You’d love that story Illian!

If we can get all known civilisations to sign up on the JODET maybe we will get permission from the CCCP and the Ghouls to explore the far west after you’ve awakened The One, if you still want me then.

Trying to kid myself! I’m Matriarch of the Weyrling Empire, spanning over more than hundred of inhabited worlds. When will I get opportunity to go exploring? This might be the Last time I ever get on a spaceship. So I won’t turn back to Kalzeron anytime soon if I have a say. And as Matriarch, I do believe I have some power to wield!

Those Ghouls. They scare me. Their harsh attitude, always angry, never friendly.

Can there ever be peace with such as those?

No, I’ll drop all these thoughts and go out to the bridge. This young inexperienced crew will jump at the opportunity of an unexpected combat exercise. I’ll contact the destroyer CP Refound and order them to make an attack round on us, that’ll take my mind of these idle useless thoughts. Oh, Illian, I miss you so.

[ February 21, 2003, 23:27: Message edited by: Ruatha ]