Hi Ruatha.
You said you wanted comments so here goes:
First; it's too looong. Why don't you do as Atrocities and shop it up into smaller portions, see his story thread for ideas.
Secondly, I think you should do well to choose a gengre and stick to it.
So far you've changed the way to tell the story aswell as the contents from time to time. I mean, take this Last episode. What is it? A love novel? pornography? A mystery? A historical novel?
Make up your mind and stick to it.
And what is this thing you're doing with your main characters?
First you had Ruatha as main character. Then you killed him and introduced a couple of more characters. In this episode you killed of another main character and crippled another, I wouldn't want to be a main figure in one of your stories!!
Previously you had very few characters but in this episode the names have exploded to huge proportions! How are we going to keep track of all these people. And what is it, and Icelandic Saga? 'Try' the son of Illian and Elyssandra, son of....
CaptRR has written a more traditional sci fi story with a main character (Prince Draven) a bad guy and a mystery. Tbontob has aimed at the humerous angle and succeded very well, I like the names in his characters!!
As I said before; find your angle and stick to it.
On the other side this Last episode is an improvement when compared with the other episodes, but just to looong
What I like about this thread is the way you three are weaving your stories together, can't wait to read Tbontobs and CaptRR's next episodes!
[ February 19, 2003, 07:00: Message edited by: Ruatha ]