[Growltigger]

End opening credits and still shots of heroic Captain Growltigga looking macho and well, just plain heroic.....

Camera pans left to shot of TSSS Phong's Head zipping along through space (if you look closely enough, you can see the wires)....

Captain Slog, Stardate 13.01.15.05.03 GMT, despite our entente cordial and mutual appreciation of the female clone mud-wrestling-wet-look-nude-all-in-wahey-event, I have been unable to convince the Fart Point Council to allow the Galactic Federation to mine dilithium crystals on their planet, but I have been successful in securing galaxy-wide distribution rights for "Old Regurgitator", their strongest and finest ale. That's the pension sorted out anyway...

However, when we were beamed back to Phong's Head, I noticed a slight fault in our transporter system, possibly caused by the methane storms surrounding Fart Point...

The crew of the Phong's Head are strange, for a start, everybody has stupid goatee beards, even the girls, and my first officer, always a bit of an effete ponce, is now walking round flexing his biceps (for what it is worth) and acting like a right pratt.. I am worried that the transporter problem has beamed us to another dimension where the crew of the Phong's Head are a bunch of strange tee-totla pacificts and mincing queens.. also, every body seems to have ginger hair.. I might have to rename the ship the TSSS Ginger Minger at this rate...

Something must be up, I am sure that the transporter man blew my first officer a kiss when we beamed up, there doesn't appear to be a real man (or real woman) for that matter in the whole crew

I have asked the away team to investigate......